The ?Dallas? Syndrome

Colin Grierson 03/03/2008 25comments  |  Jump to last
As all Evertonians know, it?s a lifelong labour of love following the blues. We have all been through tough times, frustrating times, but the absence of success makes the heart grow fonder. I keep watching us winning game after game and I?m now expecting us not only to win but to win with a bit of panache.

I listen to podcasts of 606 phone-ins and hear fans of other clubs (RS aside) singing our praises. Spoony, and even Alan Green have begrudgingly begun to give us ?our due?. I have even started to read news articles in the broadsheets acknowledging our recent achievements in the Premier League and the Uefa Cup! I?m having conversations with RS fans who are no longer as smug as before (although they are just as Nordic). I see the boys in blue playing the brand of football that earned us the ?School of Science? tag.

?It?s like a bad dream,? said one of my RS workmates. They look in the mirror expecting to see Patrick Duffy looking back at them in a steamed up mirror, with the sound of the shower beating against the tiles in the background. They expect to realise that it?s all just a dream; that this terrible reality where the Blues are emerging as a force to be reckoned with in English football is a script that can be altered! If the Premier League had their way it probably would be a different story.

Perhaps that?s why we haven?t had any penalties domestically this season. We?re upsetting the apple cart and it just won?t do. Maybe the outrageous denial of points in the derby and at Blackburn was a measure to keep us in our place (outside the established top 4). They do say that the truth is stranger than fiction...

Well, we have some pretty good script writers of our own who are weaving a merry tale at the moment. It?s a tale of good triumphing against the odds. It?s an unpredictable page-turner which is nearing what promises to be a tremendous climax. There?s a European plot which is hotting up and a final battle on the home front against the evil ones.

There?s plenty of twists and turns yet to come I?m sure and maybe some casualties along the way. It seems to me, like ?Dallas?, that some bloke with a big hat, a twangy accent and loads of money may be making some enemies and lining his pockets to leave behind a failing company. And like ?Fawlty Towers?, an idiotic Spaniard is proving himself not up to the job. Let?s hope he keeps it!

I can?t wait for the final chapter. I hope it?s one we never forget. One that makes your heart go...

COME ON YOU BLUE BOYS!

Reader Comments

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Lyndon Lloyd
Editorial Team
1   Posted 04/03/2008 at 20:48:00

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Too much "wacky baccy", Colin? Whatever... far be it for us to suppress such infectious optimism :)
Dave Jeanrenaud
2   Posted 04/03/2008 at 20:57:11

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Colin,

This is the best piece i have read on here in ages. More power to your pen.

This truly is a fabulous time to be an Evertonian. Does anybody out there still doubt David Moyes??
Matt Higgins
3   Posted 04/03/2008 at 20:56:15

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Empires do crumble
Revolutions come and go
The Sky Four will fall
Sonny Phillips
4   Posted 04/03/2008 at 21:38:58

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Good stuff Col,
The hapless Spaniard is also providing us with plenty of belly laughs just like Manuel!

I?ve noticed the smugness from some kopites has receded slightly too, little compliments about Moyes and our style of play!

Slight patronising tone as usual but definitely a little less smug (must be hard for them though).
Michael Hunt
5   Posted 04/03/2008 at 21:56:17

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Spot on Col, that hits the back of the net like a thunderbolt from the Yak :-)

It’s all to play for....bring it on and lets have justice be done. COYB!!!
Tony Williams
6   Posted 04/03/2008 at 22:56:32

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I have heard from a few of my red work colleagues that they don’t seem to be arsed about footy as much now.......strange that isn’t it?

One classic point from a plastic armchair red who sits near me is that their first goal against Notlob was deserved, as they deserve some luck now!!!!!!! I fooking nearly fell out of my chair laughing and that daft sod couldn’t see the irony in his statement.

it IS a great time to be a Blue and long may it continue
Charlie Skinley
7   Posted 04/03/2008 at 23:01:18

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Enjoyed reading your article Colin. A red that I work with was telling me the other day it might do them the world of good missing out on the demands of Europe - so they can put all their efforts into winning the league. Oh how I laughed!
Gerry Quinn
8   Posted 05/03/2008 at 02:34:04

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All warm and fuzzy after reading this one -class, Colin
I often wonder if the players read these articles, Lyndon?
I’m sure word gets around the dressing room - have you ever had any feedback from any of them in the past?
Colin Grierson
9   Posted 05/03/2008 at 04:11:44

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I’m not gonna come over all ’Bill Clinton’ on yer Lyndon cos back in the day I was prone to the odd spliff , but if I was under the influence of the pungent leaf I’d hardly be arsed to put finger to keyboard, I’d be far too busy standing looking into the fridge seeing what I could eat while me fish finger sarnie (with mayo) was being prepared.
Lyndon Lloyd
Editorial Team
10   Posted 05/03/2008 at 06:31:51

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Too true, Colin. Too true.

Gerry: "I often wonder if the players read these articles, Lyndon?
I?m sure word gets around the dressing room - have you ever had any feedback from any of them in the past?"


I guess you’d have to assume that some do — lots of time on one’s hands if you’re a professional football! — but we’ve never had any direct contact from one of the players. We would, of course, love to hear from them... although unless they e-mailed us from an evertonfc.com address, I’m not sure how we’d be able to verify it was genuine!

I do know, however, that Big Dunc is an avid TW reader, so there you go!
Charlie Dimmock
11   Posted 05/03/2008 at 07:07:37

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How can you talk about Dallas without mentioning Lee Harvey Osman and the Texas Buck Depository a.k.a. Anfield?
John H
12   Posted 05/03/2008 at 10:11:40

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I’d give that Sue Ellen one.
Dave Griffin
13   Posted 05/03/2008 at 11:22:23

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I’m pretty sure Tony Marsh still doubts David Moyes. Can’t be sure though as he’s gone very quiet of late.
Damian Wilde
14   Posted 05/03/2008 at 12:24:30

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Great article Colin! Good to see some positive articles on toffeeweb.
Mikel Arteta
15   Posted 05/03/2008 at 13:04:15

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Yes Lyndon, I love ToffeeWeb as much as I hate the red shite.
Tim Welsh
16   Posted 05/03/2008 at 13:24:29

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Good article.

Word of warning: Beware the ?Merseyside, Merseyside? mentality that enabled the evil filth to mug us so often when we achieved parity ( and beyond ) in the mid-80s. They always want to share our good press, but we NEVER get a look in with their?s. The ?Kopites? that I know in the provinces ridicule Everton at all other times, but when the evil filth start to falter or we start to succeed they make out that we are all one big Blue, White and Red club. I give no quarter to a Liverpudlian and will not be happy until they are in their rightful place: Administration.

As for penalties this season: we are suffering the punishment for last David Moyes? complaint to Keith Hackett last season, but we are making the officials into a laughing stock who seem to implementing a specific directive reserved for us. Let us continue to make life difficult for them.

ToffeeWeb is my site of choice!
Ben Brown
17   Posted 05/03/2008 at 14:19:30

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It must be hard being a professional football. All that pressure of having to perform better than a normal ’kickabout’ ball, patented new technologies, different panels and stitching, only to be discarded in scorn after but a season. And that’s in addition to being booted about for a living. A tough life indeed.
Daniel Marfany
18   Posted 05/03/2008 at 14:22:05

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Please refrain from using the quite racist Fawlty Towers persona Manuel as an example of a Spaniard. If nothing else the man was from Barcelona and probably meant to be Catalan. Waiter? Yeah and I suppose all Scots are tightfisted bastards! I’m Catalan and I hate Rafa for being part of the great Madrileño scurge, his overhyped and overly defensive management style, and his refusal to say anything meaningful ever. However, I do love him for rotating the RS into 5th place!
Colin Grierson
19   Posted 05/03/2008 at 15:23:40

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"Please refrain from using the quite racist Fawlty Towers persona Manuel as an example of a Spaniard. If nothing else the man was from Barcelona and probably meant to be Catalan. Waiter? Yeah and I suppose all Scots are tightfisted bastards! I?m Catalan and I hate Rafa for being part of the great Madrileño scurge, his overhyped and overly defensive management style, and his refusal to say anything meaningful ever. However, I do love him for rotating the RS into 5th place!"

Fair point Daniel, but I assure you I don’t judge the Spanish nation by a 70’s sitcom character and don’t wish to offend anyone of a blue persuasion.

However, If any RS Spanish dual nationality readers are offended, then they can get a job in a local restaurant to get the air fare back home cos their tight arsed Scottish mates wont be helpin out with the air fare even if it is only Easyjet!

;D (No offence)
Keith Glazzard
20   Posted 05/03/2008 at 16:40:47

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Bona tarda: I’ve spent a lot of time here in Catalunya in the last few years (Salut Daniel) and I have always been impressed by the knowledge that people I talk to have about football not only in the Peninsula, but Europe in general and England in particular. And there is no doubt that Everton are taken very seriously as a football club here.
Gary Leonard
21   Posted 05/03/2008 at 17:33:02

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I totally agree. I usually curse Alan Green all the way through his commentaries, but he was definitely more positive towards Everton at the weekend. I still hate him though!
scott eaton
22   Posted 05/03/2008 at 18:35:48

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Ive always thought Spoony was ok,and im even warming to the gobshite that is Colin Murray.That wanker Alan Green needs doing Eduardo style though
andy edwards
23   Posted 05/03/2008 at 18:42:57

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So the press are all changing their tune. Well, I don’t care what they all say. In fact, I don’t want them to praise us. What’s made us special is the fact that they don’t get it. And they Never wil. It’s bonded the team, it’s bonded the fans. When we win it means more. As the silverwear comes (?!) I still want us to feel that way.
Sean Condon
24   Posted 06/03/2008 at 05:39:44

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...i try never to touch the keyboard unless i am "under the influence of the pungent leaf".
Will Leaf
25   Posted 06/03/2008 at 09:48:37

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I say fie to the Sky 4.

Their arrogance, and the bureaucratic monolith (read Sky, and their enablers, the FA) erected to sustain the feeding frenzy that is continuing apace must eventually fail.

I?m with Matt, and damn it, I will quote Shelley to prove the point:

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains: round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
Greg Doyle
26   Posted 06/03/2008 at 12:51:21

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Alan Green could score the winning goal for us in the last minute of the Champions League final against the Reds and I’d still hate him.
The penalties thing is a bit weird though.
Colin Grierson
27   Posted 06/03/2008 at 14:02:48

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I live in Bangkok and listen to 606 podcasts and like all other blues HATE Alan Green, however, I also watch ESPN (the Asian footy focus) and have to endure McMahon, McAteer and even Grobelaar on occasion. I DESPISE McMahon with every fibre of my being. I’ve nearly kicked the telly in many a time. McMahon still says "You know what you’re gonna get with Everton." The ’orrible, round headed, Karl Pilkington look-alike, RS, patronising, smug, clueless, twat.

I’m off to count to ten!
Kev Clark
28   Posted 06/03/2008 at 14:55:57

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Colin G - if this season is all a story, then I’m looking forward to the sequal next year!

This season has been a great one so far, and there’s still so much more to read!

i share an office with a RS (whose from Kirkby by the way, meaning stadium issue/moving out of the city has never been a topic of conversation). there’s only the 2 of us and we talk footy often but for the first few months who wouldn’t even talk about us except in a negative way (ie doesn’t rate Lescott as an International player, etc ) any other team and anything about the RS fine but not us. i’m not a bitter blue and i’ll talk RS with him, give them their dues when they do play well and laugh when they don’t - give and take! Recently though even he has been softening towards us, he said we played "quite well" in the second leg against Brann and "it’s going to be close for 4th spot, Everton will probably be only 6 or 7 points behind us" (in December he was still suggesting we’d be fighting relagation come the end!) And what supprised me the most, he asked me for a prediction for tonight, I said "2-nil, maybe 2-1 to us" he agreed!!!!
To me that shows that I’m not blinded by my blue loyalty we are actually doing well and making people take notice! Although it does mean he wont take my Tenner bet for tonight - I’ve made over a £100 so far because of his belief we’d get beat by evey Euro side!!

CYOB!!!


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