Logic is something we generally apply to live better lives. If it's a cold morning, it's logic that tells us wear a scarf. If Jimmy Tarbuck is on telly, it's logic that tells us put a brick through the screen.
Illogical on the other hand, we won't have ANY truck with. Illogical is just another way of saying/behaving dumb or stupid. "Work for £8 a month? Don't be bleedin' daft. Where's the logic there?" Etc.
Incredible then, when you think that regarding Everton Football Club, we're prepared, on an almost daily basis, to spit in the eye of Mr Logic.
Here is a list of 20 really illogical things that some or all Evertonians do from time to time — oh, myself included (nb: but I'm not saying which ones):
1) Supporting a team playing in a league we can't win.
2) Going up against teams who have spent hundreds of millions more than us, losing, and blaming one individual playing for us (ie: "It was all Hibbo's fault")
3) Questioning a player's loyalty for contemplating a move that will double his wages (especially if he was never an Evertonian to begin with).
4) Wearing a scarf... in 28 degrees C.
5) Spending £3 for a pint at half time and then chucking it over someone.
6) Arguing that Everton FC moving to a town from a city is a good thing.
7) Singing that.. "Tim Cahill, Tim Cahill, Tim Cahill..." song
8) Supporting a Chairman who has proved himself a top spoofer.
9) Forgiving anyone anything because they're "a good Evertonian".
10) Instantly hating any celeb who 'supports' the lovable reds.
11) Believing that, if Man City spend Chelsea-style money on a load on good players, they'll still finish mid-table because they're... Man City.
12) Singing horrible songs about opposition players' wives/children/families etc.
13) Going to chippies OTHER than the Goodison Supper Bar before the game.
14) Spending three nicker on a programme.
15) Jeopardising your Job by fart-arseing around on Everton websites all day.
16) Repeating Everton rumours.
17) Never ever ever wearing anything red.
18) Buying a bib for your newborn baby that says 'I'm Everton's youngest fan", yet when talking about Muslims/people with strong religious beliefs saying 'Well they're all fuckin' brainwashed aren't they!"
19) Believing in 'The People's Club' thing, when actually there are about five shareholders who decide everything.
20) Singing that you don't care if a grey-haired man has red hair.
Sigh.... now to see what's new on KEIOC....
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1 Posted 06/07/2009 at 22:00:30
2 Posted 06/07/2009 at 22:17:17
3 Posted 06/07/2009 at 22:14:02
4 Posted 06/07/2009 at 22:24:54
Enjoyed the post!
5 Posted 06/07/2009 at 22:29:53
6 Posted 06/07/2009 at 22:23:48
7 Posted 06/07/2009 at 22:46:51
8 Posted 06/07/2009 at 22:46:47
But hang on EJ that’s not logical because erm ..... you’re Irish.
Great wit at work once again.
Keep 'em coming buddy.
9 Posted 06/07/2009 at 22:39:49
10 Posted 06/07/2009 at 22:52:38
11 Posted 06/07/2009 at 23:57:18
12 Posted 07/07/2009 at 05:01:20
Very good EJ, very good!
13 Posted 07/07/2009 at 06:39:33
14 Posted 07/07/2009 at 08:35:42
15 Posted 07/07/2009 at 09:25:43
16 Posted 07/07/2009 at 09:42:24
17 Posted 07/07/2009 at 09:49:01
18 Posted 07/07/2009 at 09:54:49
Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying "HOW DARE YOU SAY I’M NOT IRISH!!" (in the same way as Jason Donovan took offence when there were rumours about him being gay...WHICH HE WASN’T!!!!!!!!!!).
Just stating a fact like.
Actually as my mother was from Roscommon, and my dad’s side from Mayo, so the way it works here is that if I got caught molesting a chicken, the papers would say "VERY ENGLISH pervert commits fowl act".
If on the other hand I save a child who has fallen through cracked ice on top of a pond, the headline would say "DUBLIN MAN originally from Liverpool with IRISH connections saves IRISH child...IN IRELAND!!"
Kind of like the way Andy Murray goes from British to hopeless, miserable, Scots choker, the second he’s dumped out of Wimbledon.
19 Posted 07/07/2009 at 10:18:10
(I will from time to time put in the occasional deliberate mistake so you know posts are not computer generated.)
20 Posted 07/07/2009 at 10:55:07
Good work Mr Ruane.
21 Posted 07/07/2009 at 13:29:18
I dont care whether you’re black or white, fat or thin, keep 'em coming mate. It’s always a pleasure to read your posts.
Please consider yourself recategorised on my computer to a True Blue scouser with an Irish twist.
Ciaran you’re spot on there.... to be sure, but how do you get that accent over the a?
22 Posted 07/07/2009 at 14:09:49
23 Posted 07/07/2009 at 16:58:53
No 15 made me laugh, but then I realized I had a problem coz that’s what I seem to do a lot of at the moment!
24 Posted 07/07/2009 at 17:17:14
25 Posted 07/07/2009 at 19:37:30
26 Posted 08/07/2009 at 12:24:50
Enjoyed a good laugh ... thanks, matey!
27 Posted 08/07/2009 at 21:06:56
As well as doing his bit for logic, Aristotle also had a few words to say about aesthetics: the appreciation of beauty or quite simply good taste.
A man can, should he wish, wear suits made from blue material, but such a costume in red would surely place him on the stage of the Empire in the dying days of Variety. No doubt some women can carry off a red outfit, but this puts us in mind of Chris de Burgh, and I can rest my case.
Incidentally, one part of Aristotle’s aesthetics is his theory of "katharsis", or purging of the emotions "through pity and fear", that is accomplished by a tragedy. So the old Greek knew more about football than he was letting on.
28 Posted 09/07/2009 at 15:23:39
29 Posted 10/07/2009 at 14:07:10
30 Posted 10/07/2009 at 22:20:45
31 Posted 11/07/2009 at 15:55:38
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