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Message board rant

By Sam Higgins :  22/01/2010 :  Comments (61) :
This little beauty is doing the rounds on the net at the moment. It's a rant left on a QPR messagebaord. I know the Editor doesn't approve of putting up posts about other clubs — but this is more about football in general and many of you will be nodding your head in agreement to most of it...

Rant written by QPR fan on messageboard....


I take more pleasure in seeing Chelsea lose than I do in seeing QPR win at the moment.

I sat through so many matches when we were absolute dogshite under the likes of Ray Harford and with people like Paul Bruce, Matthew Brazier and Mark Perry in the squad and I never felt like this.

The club isn't ours anymore but moreso than that - football is just properly gash these days.

I mean really gash.

Football generally.

I hate nearly everything about it these days....

I hate the Prem and the myth that it is exciting this year. Man City breaking into the top four isn't exciting. They spent loads of money. It's no more exciting that Nameless Fuck getting to number 1 in the charts after winning the X-Factor.

I hate the myth of Arsene's kids. Buying some French kid when he's 17, playing him in the League Cup and then selling him when he's 20 after about 3 appearances in the league is NOTHING SPECIAL.

I hate hearing about Liverpool/Man Utd's debt but nothing ever happening about it. A club needs to go to the wall for the money thing to change but it doesn't happen. Why the fuck are Charlton, Leeds and Southampton still in business?

I hate Frank Lampard's stupid fucking face. I hate that Joe Cole's tongue is never in his mouth, the downsy spacker. I hate John Terry being England captain when he's CLEARLY AN OAF.

I hate young exciting wingers who have nothing but pace. Tony Scully had nothing but pace.

I hate Harry fucking Redknapp. And Jamie Redknapp. And Louise Redknapp... And the Wii.

I hate Gary Lineker and Alan Shearer.

I hate Garth Crooks.

I hate Garth Brooks a lot for that matter.

I hate Sky Sports.

I hate that when a lower league player beats 10 players and chips the keeper it doesn't matter but if Rooney scores from more than 20 yards it's amazing.

I hate that female sports journos are now mandatory.

I hate Mark Lawrenson for not coming out. 'I do like a big man at the back'. I bet you do...

I hate any advert that portrays football to be about anything other than pain and disappointment.

I hate Lee Hughes and the fact that he makes a living from the game. I hate Marlon King and any team that signs him when he gets out. I hate that it'll probably be us.

I hate Phil Brown.

I hate 'well the ball is a lot lighter now and will cause goalkeepers real problems this summer' before EVERY FUCKING TOURNAMENT!

I hate that Kieron Dyer earned more in the time I took to write this post than I'll earn this month.

I hate Adrian Durham, Ian Wright and Alan Brazil.

I hate Gazza. Either die or shut up. Stop fucking lingering.

I hate hearing about Hillsborough more than I hear about Heysel or Bradford.

I hate Leeds.

I hate Roy Keane.

I hate grown men wearing football shirts of their team whilst shopping on a Saturday when their team is playing at home.

I hate that I don't hate Roy Hodgson.

I hate Jermaine Beckford and any player who has neck tattoos.

I hate songs being inappropriately taken as club anthems and then sung in a manly way. 'I'm forever blowing bubbles....'. Gaylords.

I hate Danny Dyer and anyone he's ever interviewed.

I hate the book 'Cass' by Cass Pennant. It is honestly the stupidest thing I've ever read. Chapter 1: Millwall. 'Yeah we took 50 to Millwall. They had 1000 in their mob but we ran 'em up and down the street'. Chapter 2: Liverpool. 'Yeah we took 50 to Liverpool. They had 2000 in their mob but we ran 'em up and down the street'. Fuck me... Jade Goody's autobiography is probably better. Even her non-ghost-written one.

I hate that all good youngsters end their careers at Spurs before they start.

Reader Comments

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Chris Lawlor
1   Posted 22/01/2010 at 14:31:11

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Haha that is brilliant... It sums up in a round about way how a lot of us feel about the game. Although I would also add 442 magazine who have really pissed me off lately.

The latest issue features an entire section on centre forwards, best of, all time greats etc... Is there one single mention of Dixie? Is there hell... And it does cover pre war players.... Pfft — football magazine, my arse.
Gareth Humphreys
2   Posted 22/01/2010 at 14:35:18

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Superb - For What its worth :

(1) I hate wall to wall TV coverage.
(2) I hate the fact that Steven Gerrard is portrayed as a decent guy - he’s a low life with a bit of dosh.
(3) I hate any kick off other than 3pm on a Saturday.
(4) I hate hypocrites who hate players at the weekend but then support them in an England shirt.
(5) I hate Piers Morgan.
(6) I don’t hate Diego Maradona
(7) I hate the FA and its reluctance to crack down on ticket touts.
(8) I hate the England Football Team.
(9) I also hate Adrian Durham.
(10) I hate agents lining their own pockets when they are meant to be looking after their employer.
Nick Entwistle
3   Posted 22/01/2010 at 14:51:50

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Great shout on the Redknapps and the Wii.
And what is it with that Thomas Cooke advert. Dropping the T in IT is not alluring!

I’ve never seen a Danny Dyer programme but he is a tit.

The old boys club on MOTD.

I hate how a minor punch up, or an after hours drink, or a footballer swearing, or any behaviour you wouldn’t expect when you’ve got the vicar round for tea is labelled a disgrace because footballers are vomiting role models. Football is football, not moral guidance...

Oh, and that football bores me, only Everton interests me.

AND! Holding the kids’ hands as they walk out of the tunnel.

The handshake before the match just to waste time so ads can be shown around the world.

MOTD on Sunday morning showing some fucking community project with some no good footballer doing his PR bit.

Tunes played after goals being scored.

No one’s allowed to tackle!

Every fucking clown who dives, and holds his shin in agony. Refs for believing them, and pundits for their approval.

Wembley.

Paul Ince’s self importance.

Gerrard’s face.

BBC for having that bloke from Robot Wars doing the commentary.

And I don’t need a single camera trained on a manager for an entire match! That is taking up your licence fee!
Chris Lawlor
4   Posted 22/01/2010 at 15:33:54

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Right, if we’re having our own rant section then heres what grinds my gears...

Paul Merson and his inane punditry

Ian Wight (same a above)

Ferguson’s almost incessant ref howling

Sky’s blanket coverage of their top four and complete disregard for the rest.

Martin Tyler's & Andy Gray’s love-in.

Sam Allardyce’s superiority complex

John Terry’s place in the Fifa world rankings

The Tabloid press coverage pre- and post-World Cup.



Players not being able to celebrate their goals in their own way because of Fifa commercial interests

Phil Thomson’s face

Tony Gale’s existence.

Fifa’s openly corrupt system preaching to all about fairness and setting an example.
Chris Williams
5   Posted 22/01/2010 at 15:31:52

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LET’S ALL PLAY!

I hate that insolvent businesses dominate EPL when in any other industry they’d have disappeared

I hate the fact that EPL has uncompetitiveness hard-wired into its DNA and nobody seems to mind except the fans

I hate the fact that Roy Vernon seems to be under appreciated for the genius he was, by the club, compared to many lesser players

I hate the Prozone clones and percentage football managers like cynical Sam

I hate agents and most particularly the odious Stretford

I hate bastard arseholes like Ashley Cole

I hate WAGS and the fact that they’ve become role models to lots of young girls

I hate the tabloid journalists responsible for the above and below

I hate the fact that LFC is thought to be a great representative for our city — Texans, Spaniards and Norwegians

I hate the constant eulogising of ’Shanks’ by former players — a good man being praised by no-marks

I hate the fact that the noisiest LFC fans in the city never go to the match

I hate the fact that you need foreign billionaires to be successful in EPL and that everyone accepts this. We need to be careful what we wish for...
Chris Butler
6   Posted 22/01/2010 at 15:58:45

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Totally agree with you.
Brian Conrad
7   Posted 22/01/2010 at 16:07:40

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I hate that the biggest nob in the media is an Evertonian (Lovie dovie Mike Parry) and knows next to fuck all about the club/team.
Roberto Birquet
8   Posted 22/01/2010 at 16:18:23

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Damn good spot on the Redknapps and Wii, jeez.

England fans branding you "unpatriotic" if you diss their playing crap.

England fans saying beating Trini 2-0 is good stuff; beating Jamaica 6-0 means we’ll win the World Cup.

Oh, England fans!

Spooney finkin he knows anything. Spooney or any other saying: You have over-achieved though, innit? And making out that is somehow bad. That is the aim, you lemon!

Liverpool fans having absolutely zero creativity in their name-calling. Bitter; yawn!

Ok, exclamation marks.

Fans screaming, Shoot!

Players shooting from their own half; or is that hoof?

Benitez's post-match interviews. Learn some new words!

Post-match interviews that start with the journo’s opinion and a request to agree with him. "You’ll feel hard done by there, won’t you?

Hearing Andy Gray got a blank cheque to stay at Sky. Why?

Players saying they haven’t gone for the money.

Players admitting they have gone for the money, but adding they have to think of their family. How many kids do they need to feed? Just admit it — you’re greedy and the chance to make such incredible amounts of money will only be around for ten years; so I wanna get earning. I’d respect that... a bit.

There’ll be more and I can’t beat the QPR man. He musta been up preparing that last night.
Sam Higgins
9   Posted 22/01/2010 at 16:44:08

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Thats right lads... let it all out - its good for the soul you know...

What I really really fucking hate with a passion a the moment is Sky Sports News insistence on disecting every last detail of the Tevz/Neville affair and playing replay upon replay slow mo’s of Neville sticking his finger up....

We all know Gary Neville is a cunt — so what?!!
Gareth Humphreys
10   Posted 22/01/2010 at 16:48:58

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Half time punditry — what's the point. "And Rooney moved away from his man and then back into the space he created". I KNOW, ALAN, I JUST BLEEDING WATCHED IT.
Nick Entwistle
11   Posted 22/01/2010 at 17:04:37

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Nice one, Gareth, Shearer telling us ’this is a master class in finding space’... if there was ever a pundit given a job on nothing more than his ability when playing, it was him. What were the BBC frightened of? That ITV might grab him first? Not when they have the mighty Townsend!
Lee Mandaracas
12   Posted 22/01/2010 at 17:15:46

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I’m not going to offer my hates as I would be writing ad infinitum and how can something that grinds my scrotum down a washboard make others laugh? Although now that you mention it.....

No, I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed this thread and I know I will read it (and it’s replies) again and again. Thanks, Sam!
Colin Grierson
13   Posted 22/01/2010 at 17:21:38

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Good stuff!

I HATE STEVE McMAHON!

I can’t put any other hates in the same category as it may serve to undermine the true voracity with which I detest the horrible twat!
Phil Bellis
14   Posted 22/01/2010 at 17:24:33

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Great stuff for a Friday afternoon...

Managers who say "contratack"
Dave Mackay (cf J Husband)
The international match that cost us Nev and the double
Clive Thomas
A Man Utd player telling us he’s a good Evertonian
Soft arses who believe him
The air-brushing of Heysel
All the bastards who lost us the King’s Dock
The Liverpool funereal dirge
Simon Kirwan
15   Posted 22/01/2010 at 17:23:21

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"I hate that I can't hate Roy Hodgson"

"BBC for having that bloke from Robot Wars doing the commentary".

Golden

"Martin Tyler's and Andy Gray's love"

Made me laugh, very true
David Hallwood
16   Posted 22/01/2010 at 17:52:09

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My favourite was:

"I hate grown men wearing football shirts of their team whilst shopping on a Saturday when their team is playing at home" — classic

How many times have you wanted to go up to someone in an RS shirt, and say "You’ve taken a wrong turn mate, it’s 2nd left, then straight on"
Stephen Baines
17   Posted 22/01/2010 at 19:41:02

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I hate that Tottenham are the media's favourite team, and they've never won fuck all. There's some Jewish gold doing the rounds at that club... they always have money.

And this has been going on since the 95 FA Cup Semi Final... Fuck off, I hate Spurs.

Spragg Johnson
18   Posted 22/01/2010 at 20:02:08

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I still hate Nicky Barmby and Abel Xavier

I really hate those Star Wars prequels too ... especially Jah Jah Binks who was based on Rio Ferdinand.
Nick Thomas
19   Posted 22/01/2010 at 20:04:35

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I hate (in no particular order):

12:45pm on a Saturday kick-offs
12:45pm, 1pm, 1:30pm or 4pm kick-offs on a Sunday
8pm kick-offs on a Monday
and whatever time were expected to kick off v Sporting Lisbon, to accomodate the bankrupt tossers across the park.

But, most of all, I hate Tony Cascarino — he's a prick.
Keith Glazzard
20   Posted 22/01/2010 at 20:04:36

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The guy (why am I sure the person is a male?) who put that rant up should have his name on it. One day it will be a record like Desiderata or the Sunblock one.

Brilliant, in the same league as the ’Margaret Thatcher ... your boys took a beating tonight’ comments.

Me? As a Buddhist monk who meditates for ten hours every day I naturally hate nothing. Although Radio 2 presenter Mark Radcliffe tends to get on my tits.
Howard Don
21   Posted 22/01/2010 at 20:17:07

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Nice one, Sam. My number one hate on that list would have to be Adrian Durham, a total prat if ever there was one.
Thomas Christensen
22   Posted 22/01/2010 at 20:23:26

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This is the best tread :)

I hate Nicky Barmby for celebrating a shit goal against us when he played for the RS like it meant something.
I hate Danny Dire... he is a tit
I hate Vinny Jones for thinking that he is a celebrity.
I hate the fact that our glorious club goes round with a fucking begging bowl to get players.
I hate the fact that clubs are allowed to buy players with fucking money they don’t have.
I hate the sudden burst of talent contests that are all the fucking same.
I hate the fat waiter
I hate Steven Gerrard even more
I hate it when non-Everton fans fucking tell me that David Moyes is the greatest manager I we should be grateful for finishing 5th last season... pardon?
I hate the fact that Moyes never ever tells us who his transfer targets are (I do appreciate why this is the case)...

Finally, more than anything. I hate me getting excited about moving to a new stadium and then the whole bullshit that follows it when we don’t and my mates take the fucking piss.
Gerry Looker
23   Posted 22/01/2010 at 20:23:32

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How about chants such as same old scousers always cheating, usually Villa, ner, ner, ner, ner... like 7-year-old kids in the playgound
"Stand up if you love/hate whoever" chants
Stadium led chants

So-called fans who take a picture with their mobile when their team scores/wins instead of jumping around like a lunatic and hugging and kissing a complete stranger preferably on the pitch

Who wear club shirts to the pub to watch the match home or away

People who go on about the statistics when you can see it before your eyes

Fans who phone up 6O6

Alan Green gobshite kopite

TV pundits who claim the FA Cup is still as important — they doth protest too much

Who say the Premier League is as competitive as 1st division in 70s/80s — I can't see Derby or Forest winning the Premier League...

I think we can next year

Ex-footballers doing the job of journalists

Stan Collymore... what a knob
Dave Bassett, Bobby "the boy" Gould, Alan Brazil, what a toerag

That embarrassing Evertonian Mike Parry


Pundits like Kevin Gallagher who complain of all these foreigners who dive and cheat; see Kevin Gallagher Scotland v Uruguay 1986 World Cup

Pundits who talk about "English" teams being the best in Europe

Pundits who say we need to get a result; like what a 5-0 defeat, it's a result

MotD and Lineker's attempts to be humorous

Andy fucking Gray (Scottish guy who wishes he was English) , mmm hun I think, who wanted to go back to Villa, by the way before Lineker signed, and we love our Inchy Heath

That's enough for now... Bill Withers Use Me and Tony Joe White Polk Salad Annie have got me calmed down

That's another one: "Calm down, calm down" — not funny

Johnny Taylor "Cheaper to keep her" aahh


Desiderata — wasn’t that Ray Crane — Child of the Universe 1 marvellous!
Alex Baker
24   Posted 22/01/2010 at 20:47:13

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Ok, where to begin...

I hate the fact that Jamie Carragher is revered by Liverpool fans when our equivalent, Tony Hibbert, would be criticised for scoring a screamer from inside his own half because, ’He fucking hoofed it again!’

I hate the way that Jeff Stelling on Soccer Saturday has the most annoying way of speaking possible, by putting emphasis on the most random words. ’There’s BEEN a goal at the Emirates STADIUM... but WHICH way has it GONE, Charlie NICHOLAS?’

I hate the fact that the tv show on bbc 3, ’Num3ers,’ is pronounced ’Numbers’ rather than ’Num-three-ers.’ Following on from this, I also hate the movie ’Se-seven-en.’

I hate the way that business ’power speak’ has made its way into football coaching slang... I mean, isn’t it slightly pathetic to see Sam Allardyce, who must be in his mid fifties, calling managing a football club a ’project’?

I hate that former Middlesbrough defender Ugo Ehiogh has a name that sounds like someone clearing their throat, and yet I’m the only one who finds this hilarious.

And finally, I hate the way that when we were playing Wigan away last season and lost one-nil, Lee Cattermole was the dominant force in midfield. That’s a bit like being upstaged in any acting role casting by Russell Crowe. Because acting isn’t a popularity contest. It’s an acting contest.
Luke Dunn
25   Posted 22/01/2010 at 21:31:27

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This is hilarious. Brilliant, this should be a regular feature.
Mike Dillon
26   Posted 22/01/2010 at 21:39:10

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Here we go.

- Scarves. Mancini, the Kop, the lot.

- The Kop.

- Phil Brown and his microphone.

- Jimmy "he’s such a character" Bullard. He’s not a character, he’s a tosser.

- Football clubs being described as "projects".

- Sam Allardyce, chief of the useless fat bloke club.

- Steve Bruce, his assistant.

- All of the Redknapps.

- The way Alan Shearer sits down, legs akimbo, showing off the socks shoved in his trousers.

- Alan Shearer’s face. How he is allowed to give an opinion when the hamster’s dead I’ll never know.

- "Lawro." According to his predictions, Liverpool would win the league every year.

- The fact practically all TV pundits are ex-Kopites.

- Kopites who use the word "knowledgeable".

- Bellends who quote "inside sources".

- Steven Gerrard’s face.

There’s more, but I’m getting myself into a fury.
Mike Dillon
27   Posted 22/01/2010 at 21:44:23

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Oh, yes, Andy Gray and Martin Tyler wanking each other off on Fifa 10. Bloody, bloody hell.
Thomas Christensen
28   Posted 22/01/2010 at 22:08:00

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I hate twats telling me that Lescott was Everton’s best player because he got them fantasy football points... no he wasn’t.

I hate how Soccer am is now boring and shit. Helen C, you now look like an ugly bloke... no it is not cool to support a shit team - now get off my tv you trout

Blokes that don’t like football
Lyndon Lloyd
Editorial Team
29   Posted 22/01/2010 at 22:35:39

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Oi, MIke Dillon, I draw the line at slating Martin Tyler, the best football commentator since Peter Jones. And anyway, how can you criticise what is surely the best commentary in the history of football-related video games?

I haven’t heard the PES commentary this season but it’s been bloody awful for years, and not just because of that kopite twat, Lawrenson!

At least FIFA is mic’d by an ex-Blue who reminds the little runts playing the game of Everton’s 1980s golden era, of which they wouldn’t otherwise know thanks to Sky!
Anthony Bailey
30   Posted 22/01/2010 at 23:26:56

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This looks like fun!

I hate that money has ripped the heart out of football. It seems that if a club offered a player £1 more a week than his boyhhod team he’d follow the money.

I hate the fact clubs can be in so much debt, but be able to afford players 10x the value we can.

I hate it that an unfashionable players makes a bad challenge he is publically castrated, yet if its Stevie G Lar or Essien he was ’just a bit late’.

I hate the fact our players didnt seem to give a toss earlier in the season.

I hate ’fans’ that slag players off because they made one mistake, yet forget the countless good things they did in the game.

Similarly I hate it when ’fans’ rave about a player because he managed to score a great goal, or made a nice turn yet forget about the countless times he gave the ball away and wasted good oportunities.

I hate lazy players. You’re payed 50k a week and you cant be assed to chase a ball 5 yards.

I hate diving and even if you did get caught, theres no need to roll around on the floor for 5 minutes you pussy. I would be embarrassed to act like that.

I hate spittnig. Why? Just why?

I hate most of the aforementioned commentators but please dont diss messrys Gray and Tyler, they are legends no matter who off point and random their commentary is becoming.

Finally I want to twist it on its head...

I love it when Everton play with the pride, passion and commitment they played with in the last two games. Long may it continue.

I love Davey Moyes even with all his short comings.

I love Fellaini but I really dont like his hair!

Finally I love Everton and the Goodison roar... It makes all the shit bits worth it
Steve Guy
31   Posted 22/01/2010 at 23:40:13

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This is a great thread and I pretty much agree with everything above and have laughed out loud at a few. This thread is probably going to get ugly as the Friday night alcohol kicks in.

With a few G&T’s under my belt, here’s my contribution......

‘You’ll effinn never effiin walk a effin lone’. Maudlin dirge which has ruined many ends to parties for me. I have to leave the room and take my wife and kids with me.

80 foot flags hoisted across the Kop or the Holt End or anywhere else in the UK. You are NOT Italian or Spanish, where flags and flares are part of their culture. Gobshites are Norwegian and Villa fans are actually a total contradiction; you ARE the Brums you hate.

The artificial build up to games now which drown out spontaneity. Witness last weekend where the crowd burst into applause in memory of one of our Greats; we have to do it again cos the announcer hadn’t finished.

It’s been said above but always worth repeating....Stevie effin Gerrard.....the dirty cheatin foulin smug nasty son of a bitch....I could go on.....I will......the dirty cheatin foulin smug nasty son of a bitch.....I could go on.....I will..... dirty cheatin foulin smug nasty son of a bitch.....

The Radio City version of Alan Partridge at Goodison who’s monologue at half time drowns out any attempt to discuss the game without shouting to make yourself heard.

The Stalinesque re-wriiting of football history by Sky and the Media which has airbrushed our great Club out of the reckoning like Trotsky. An ice pick to our great tradition.

Ferguson

FSW

Rednapp

Allaryce

Phil ‘Durante’ Thompson

The failure of the King’s Dock

We never got our shot at the European Cup in 86/87

Martin O’Neill never looking at the interviewer or the camera (psychoanalysis please)

The way we are written off EVERY year despite a 6,5,5, finish in the league and an FA Cup Final last season. Only because we’ve no money and not looking at the inherent talent in our side.

That’s probably enough. Things I love... Z Cars, Arteta, Pienaar, Moyes telling City they have ‘No Class’, Jags penalty v Manure in the Semi, Goodison night games, the love from ex players. Hugging my son when we score.
COYB
Keith Glazzard
32   Posted 22/01/2010 at 23:57:11

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Sorry guys -

you are simply demonstrating how good the original was by your pale imitations.

I would like to suggest the backing track to Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin’s hit "Je t’aime,moi non plus" for this rant to become a cult and possibly massive media phenomenon.
Andrew James
33   Posted 22/01/2010 at 23:47:38

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Hate is an over used word so...

I love Everton Football Club

I love Joe Royle because when I was in hospital in March 1995 he got us to beat Man Utd and then eventually them again to lift the cup

I love Mark Lawrenson’s daft attempts at humourous puns - if he’s gay then who cares!

I love Davey Moyes because he gave us elation during a good run in the Winter of 2002, a great run in 2004/05 and countless other great memories like Kharkiv away and the semi against Man Utd.

I love William Ralph Dean (he hated being called Dixie because of the racist overtones)
because he was a proper Evertonian.

I love Daniel Amokachi because of what he did to Spurs.

I love Kevin Ratcliffe because he signed a photograph which my late Grandfather gave to me over 20 years ago.

I love Big Nev because he was Big Nev.

I love Everton Football Club because they are my team and my heritage.

All that other stuff just goes on around us and is silly but we should just shrug and get on with it. That is what we do on the pitch. Moyesy and his team watch the others make their signings and witness the hyperbole but they just go out and play their own game. We are Everton and we are better than all that nonsense.

Hate is too often used when you probably mean you are annoyed or frustrated.
Steve Guy
34   Posted 23/01/2010 at 00:04:22

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Keith, you are detracting from the point.. The oriiginal is ace but that doesn’t mean we can’t embellish on a classic rant
Keith Glazzard
35   Posted 23/01/2010 at 00:03:32

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Gerry Looker - the question of Alan Green .

Now its part of our Christian charitable upbringing not to mock the afflicted. But In his case, as drowning at birth is no longer an option (for various, including legal, reasons as I’m sure you know) we have to decide what has to be done with him. Care in the community? Not in my town thank you.

What’s the betting he ends up on MotD?
Keith Glazzard
36   Posted 23/01/2010 at 00:16:18

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Steve - quite right.

If it opens the doors, some good will come of it.

Just look at Andrew’s take just up there. If I really was a Buddhist monk I might think that the world was righting itself that such an expression could be made.

I apologise fully.

But I still think the original up there should have a copywrite sign on it.
Steve Guy
37   Posted 23/01/2010 at 00:28:31

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Keith,Ta,

oh yes I forgot.........always being last on MOTD even when we twatted the Arse by their own admissiion last week. and were one of only two games played. :-)
Keith Glazzard
38   Posted 23/01/2010 at 00:24:34

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Gerry its me again - a wayward mouse took me to your post and I noticed your reference to Desiderata. The artiste is Les Crane.

Towards the end of my teaching career I was given a class of feisty but basically well- behaved 15 year olds. My brief, in an RE setting, was to do something about ’world view’. Desiderata did it for hours. And they all joined in with the chorus when I put the tape on. Kids eh? What can you do with them?
Gareth Prytherch
39   Posted 23/01/2010 at 00:33:21

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I hate the fact that my dad who is nearly 70 still feels the need to work but can’t afford to go to the modern game while some of the dross in the Premier League earns more in 6 months than he earned in his amazing lifetime

I hate the fact that people who don’t go to the game are still telling me their stories about how they got their Final tickets while as a STH we sweated until the final week.

I hate the fact that I just found out that BT Vision Sport has full games available and when I looked tonight, the only one I found was the Battenburg Derby

and finally, the fact that Mr Simon Ross after doing the job for far too many years still doesn’t know our own teams names and the away team don’t stand a chance.
Keith Glazzard
40   Posted 23/01/2010 at 00:40:28

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Yes Steve - and particularly as we are taxed to pay MotD staff to do what they do. Sky is no choice either, the so-called free market doesn’t work there. EvertonTV is good, but I bought my niece a subscription for her birthday and they don’t do Mac - which doesn’t appear in the publicity. Its a hard life, but hopefully a long one.
Stewart Littler
41   Posted 23/01/2010 at 02:37:37

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Absolute quality. Mine, and I don’t think it/he has been mentioned:

Kenny Dalglish.

What a cunt
Steven Connor
42   Posted 23/01/2010 at 09:00:34

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I was shown this last night before i logged on to TW this morning and I agree with every fucking word

I would add....

I hate Gordon Ramsey ...jumped up pretend scotsman who never stops banging on about the fact he played for rangers when he was a kid

I despsie Tim Fucking Lovejoy...CUNT

I hate the anouncer at goodison...’ Coming to you live from Goodison park’...of course its live you clown were sitting in the stands watching it.

I hate Bill Kenwrights stomach churning ’luviness’ everytime hes on TV talking ’bout the blues

I hate the colour red

I hate footballers tattoos...WTF is that all about

I hate Andy Townsend...does he even watch the games he is supposed to comment on?

I hate ’grand slam sunday’ and other sky created apocalyptce titles for a couple of football games on telly

I hate proper ’cockney’ supporters...West Ham, Spurs, Chelsea....Cunts the lot of them

I hate seeing pricks in places like Welwyn Garden City and Tunbridge wels proudly walking round in thier liverpool shirts

I hate the aforementioned using ’we’ when talking shits about the alst liverpool game

I hate people assuming, once they realise I am from liverpool, that i support liverpool. ’ Bet you were gutted watching that game with reading last week?...No I was fucking made up mate.

I hate pricks who phone in to 606....

especially when they start with ’ I didn’t see the game’

I hate birds who say they support a team because their fella does...but couldn’t name a single fucking player on the team

I could go on and on
Martin Faulkner
43   Posted 23/01/2010 at 10:27:05

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Here we go.
90% of the already above mentioned
Allardyce
Hughes
Fowler
That twat Lawrenson
Everton’s Marketing Dept, i mean fer fucks sake if I was that shite at my job I’d last about 3 days. Why can I never buy any everton merchandise for godsons and nephews no matter where I’ve lived, UK, Holland and now Australia, for gods sake we’ve got the most recogniseable australian playing for us and can the useless fuckers get anything on the shelves over here?Evertons PR dept, watch this space...
Liverpool fans from hull, i kid you not i’ve met them.
Every fucker i meet from ireland supporting the shite regardless and generally not having a fucking clue.
The term "punching above their weight" it’s fuckin football not boxing.
Thierry Henry
Frank Lampard
Harry backhander Redknapp although I can’t wait till he destroys Spurs like all his other clubs.
Players taking their tops off to celebrate a goal knowing they’re gonna get a card, twats, and they call themselves pros what a fuckin joke.
Oh and nearly every ex player that’s now milking it on telly aswell, most of them earned more in 15 years than i’ll earn in a lifetime
Dave McCarten
44   Posted 23/01/2010 at 11:34:46

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Here’s just a few of mine:-

Twattenburg

Clapping instead of silece,
(surely people can contain themself for just one minute)

Everything to do with the ones from across the park, and I mean EVERYTHING

farting gravy
(after a curry an Guinness)

Michael Owen, he’s just come on the telly now the little Welsh druid.

Smug bastard Lineker

professional scousers,
Cilla fuckin Black
Jimmy gobshite Tarbuck et al

Go compare

Thats it for now, off to the game,

Shankley died a blue.
Charles King
45   Posted 23/01/2010 at 12:28:31

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Via work I’ve met quite a few footballers and managers, once they’re suitably relaxed its surprising how many of them don’t even like the game and see supporters as idiots and at best a necessary evil

I know this but still I follow football and Everton with a passion, I hate being so stupid.


Tony I'Anson
46   Posted 23/01/2010 at 13:10:11

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Last year someone mentioned the twig in the Liver bird’s mouth and I did one of those laugh’d when you can’t breathe, so I will add that here as well.
Tony I'Anson
47   Posted 23/01/2010 at 13:13:23

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Also, Senderos is here on loan http://www.evertonfc.com/news/archive/senderos-joins-on-loan.html
Stephen Graham
48   Posted 23/01/2010 at 18:52:39

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I hate David Moyes’s substitutions.

I often predict them accurately when I come up with the worst possible substitution. I got 2 out of 3 today.
Mike Hayes
49   Posted 23/01/2010 at 19:06:12

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You forgot the biggest TWAT in football... Bastard BECKHAM; what a cunt.
Steven Twine
50   Posted 23/01/2010 at 19:23:29

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Liverpool football club and the fat waiter.
Sam Higgins
51   Posted 23/01/2010 at 19:55:43

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Loved the responses here; favourite one so far — football clubs referred to as projects.

I guess right now im hating Everton's performance today. A case of believing their own press during the week?!!! Not happy.

I hate that Everton can make me feel like this on a Saturday night and have done on and off for 24 yrs!!!!!
Bob Parrington
52   Posted 23/01/2010 at 22:15:34

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I love the fact that everybody has the opportunity to say what they hate!
I hate the fact that we were dumped out of the FA Cup by Birmingham City.
And when it comes to football commentators........................I agree with all of the responses above!

What a great posting, Sam!

COYB
Terry McLavey
53   Posted 24/01/2010 at 10:50:27

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Just a few more!

Bad grammar from millionaire pundits "the boy done good" etc.

Everton players or the manager going into print after we’ve won a few, saying "We’re going to have a good cup run", or "Now we’re going to kick on", as the good run inevitably ends in the next match! Keep your mouths shut!

And most of the above, especially Stevie G !

Terry Hayes
54   Posted 24/01/2010 at 16:00:56

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I hate seeing players snotting and gozzing all over the pitch... I've never seen them do it at tennis or snooker.
Mike Hughes
55   Posted 24/01/2010 at 18:52:41

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Best laugh I’ve had for ages.
Favourite for me is Rio Ferdinand / Ja Ja Binks - laughed out loud
Just like to add a few;
Alan fucking Hanson
Alan Green, total twat
Early doors - what the fuck are early doors????
Steve "cliche man" Bruce
and of course the biggest twat of all
Steve "media darling" Gerrard
Mike Green
56   Posted 24/01/2010 at 21:01:25

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Englishmen born in England, living in England, working in England, bringing their kids up in England who slag off / dont support the England team.
Mike Green
57   Posted 24/01/2010 at 21:17:49

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Oh - and yes - Alan Green. A disgrace to my family name - what a complete cunt!

Everything about Spurs but particularly their fans and Harry "Droopy" "Crooked" Redknob.

Big Sam

Newcastle United and the "Geordie Nation"

That cunt Scudamore that runsthe PL

Gary Cook at Man City - what a prize cunt he is

Aaaaaaaahh.... I could go on.... and on.... and on...

Adrian fucking Durham. Complete cunt.
Eugene Ruane
58   Posted 25/01/2010 at 13:01:53

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Agree!

(with all the above)
Francis Wycherley
59   Posted 25/01/2010 at 19:53:07

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Sorry if it’s already been covered, but I really detest Kevin fucking Nolan. Especially the fact that he could have potentially ended a reasonably promising young player's career with a cowardly challenge and hasn’t got anywhere near enough criticism for being a dirty, horrible bastard.

Also, that little bell-end Fabregas for strutting off the pitch after getting Cahill sent off a couple of years back. I’m not a violent person. However...

Danny Burke
60   Posted 26/01/2010 at 15:34:44

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- Jamie Carragher
- Phil Thompson not being able to commentate on a game without mentioning Liverpool or Steeeeevn Gerrrrraaaard (Fuck off, Phil, it's Fulham vs Hull!)
-Jamie Carragher
- Alan Green's stupid innacurate biased commentary
- Jamie Carragher
- Stan Collymore as a pundit, a prize prick of the highest order
- Jamie Carragher
- Souness and Gullit bickering like children on the Sky Champions League programme
- Jamie Carragher
- The Sky 4
- Jamie Carragher
- Man City’s money
- Jamie Carragher
- Nick Barmby
- Jamie Carragher
- Jamie Redknapp's tight shirt and suits on Sky.
- Jamie Carragher
- Harry Redknapp's face
- Jamie Carragher
- Cristiano Ronaldo, greasy little winker
- Jamie Carragher
- The fact that when there is "breaking news" from across the park and they interview 8 red shite fans outside the kop, there will only be ONE scouser.
- Jamie Carragher
- Fans who know nothing about the game "Lescott's your best player" etc
- Jamie Carragher
- Away fans singing loudly when we are losing at home
- Jamie Carragher
- You’ll never fucking walk alone
- Jamie Carragher
- Mark Cheating Bastard Clattenberg
- Jamie Carragher
- Lawro and Hansen on MotD
-Jamie Carragher
- WAGS
- Jamie Carragher
- The fact that all football history was wiped clean when the Premier League started
- Jamie Carragher
- Constantly being told we are "Overachieving", if you do it consistantly you are just ACHIEVING!
- Jamie Carragher

That feels better for getting it off my chest. Oh and that horrible cheating snide overrated ugly bellend, Jamie Carragher
Duncan McDine
61   Posted 27/01/2010 at 11:06

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Has to be one of the best threads yet on TW, and it's not even about Everton!

I hate the fact that I’m more interested in what Rooney says to EvertonTV than the interviews with actual Everton players.

I hate Alan Green and anything to do with the Redshite... and I also hate the fact that I’m almost as happy when they lose, as when we win.

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