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Losing The Plot

By Tony   Marsh  ::  18/10/2011   135 Comments (»Last) When I heard the news yesterday that the Moyesiah was about to bring back James McFadden, I had to check the calendar. It can't be April 1st already, can it? As they say in Yorkshire, David Moyes is definitely Limp Under The Cap.

How the fuck has that buffoon Kenwright allowed such a ridiculous signing to take place? How can a man who says he is Everton's number one fan allow his manager to do such a thing? Are these two out to heap more misery on us all or what?

What must Moyes have said to convince BK this was a good move?

Moyes: "Listen, Bill, I'm thinking of bringing back James McFadden."

Kenwright: "Why, Dave? ? give me a few good reasons why we should?"

DM: "Erm... well, he's Scottish. Erm... he's got a similar hairline to Rooney ? oh and he's got a good-sounding Scouse name: Jimmy Mac.. They could even sing 'Jimmy, Oh Jimmy Mac, why did they bring you back?'"

BK: "What about football ? can he still play at this level?"

DM: "Well, it does'nae really matter because I won't play him ? it's just a little something for the fans. It's like a new signing. More smoke and mirrors, Bill."

BK: "That's good enough for me ? sign the lad up then."

These two want flogging in public, they really do... If Saturday's pitiful attempt at playing top-level football wasn't bad enough, now this McFadden nonsense... Is there anyone out there who can defend this signing?

Back to Saturday's pathetic debacle ? why are Hibbert and Osman still playing Premier League football? Is there another club in the League that would sign either of these two?

When Chelsea beat us at Wembley three years ago, I thought that was the last we would see of this pair. Both of them got ragged to death in that game by some of the same players they faced on Saturday. Three years older and three years slower, Dumb and Dumber are still first choices in Moyes's side... WHY?

Moyes hasn't a clue about top flight football these days, its' leaving him behind. 2004-05 was the year Moyes reached his peak and since then its been horrific to be an Evertonian apart from the odd victory here and there.

I remember after we got spanked at home 4-0 by Bolton a couple of years back, Kenwright telling a few of us at the game that he would never sack Moyes even if we got relegated. Well, he has stuck by him since then and, if we do go down, we will be stuck with Moyes forever.

What will happen to us if the TV rights proposals become reality? Who the hell would pay Everton to broadcast our games? Moyes as manager playing Prehistoric Hoofball with McFadden as a lone striker... We will be skint in months.

I am sick to death of hearing this "we've got no money that's why we lose games..." Fucking nonsense. Yes, we have less money than the big clubs... but even the promoted clubs have a better go at teams than us, Norwich and Swansea haven't spent money since they came up but they at least have a go, FFS.

Remember when Joe Royle's side went to Elland Road in the FA Cup Semi-Final in 1995? Spurs only had to turn up and they would play Man Utd in the final. Barmby, Sheringham, and one of the top strikers around at the time, Jurgen Klinsman were going to murder us like they did to Liverpool at Anfield in the Quarter-Finals. The Dream Team from London would play in the Dream Final...

We had a team of work horses and 'get stuck in' merchants: Horne, Stuart, Rideout, Ablett etc ? hardly glamour boys but they had belief and spirit and a will to win and we went on to thrash Spurs 4-1 in the most one-sided semi-finals ever. We played some good stuff but it was the spirit of the side that did it that day. Never say die... never lay down. Win at all cost.

That's what Joe did ? he made his players believe in him and themselves. Something Moyes will never do. Now I know time has moved on since then but the concept is just the same: Go out, get stuck in, and try to win the game. Play strikers and try to score goals.... Goals, Beautiful Goals.

The opposing players may be on bigger wages than our lads and they will have cost more to sign but so what? It's eleven v eleven and no fear should be shown. Moyes puts his players down while bigging up the other side...

If ever a man could drain your self confidence as a player, it has to be Deadly Dave. He has ruined every striker he has come across at this club and his treatment of some players is a disgrace. Why the fuck some fans sing his name is beyond me. Moyes is killing us season by season.

Kenwright is the man at the helm: he won't sack Moyes; Moyes will never change or learn from past mistakes... so what the fuck can we do?

Jimmy, Oh Jimmy Mac, Why did they bring you back???

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