I am offering to manage Everton FC free of charge!
If appointed I will make the following changes:
1) Insist that we play attacking football.
2) Train the players to prioritise keeping possession of the ball, and passing, and moving creatively off the ball, spreading across the field, not all bunched together.
3) Ensure that the goalkeeper, when taking a goal kick or simply sending the ball up field, doesn't just kick it aimlessly, high up in the air for anyone of either side to get, but sends it directly to one of our players.
4) Ensure that the goalkeeper does not hold on to the ball but gets it back into play as quickly as possible; unless we are at least one goal up!
5) In defending an attack, to ensure that our players do not continually back off, until they have let the attacker get in sight of the goal and into a shooting position, but that they tackle the advancing player.
6) In defending corners, to ensure we have at least one player up the field, near the half-way line so that, when defenders, or the goalkeeper get the ball and send it upfield, we have someone ready to make a break for their goal.
7) When taking corners, that we never kick it straight to their goalkeeper, or one of their defenders, but that it always reaches one of our players, even if that means directing it quite a way downfield, or taking a short corner.
8) In training, endlessly practice set pieces, especially corners until we can virtually guarantee a substantial percentage of goals from corners.
9) Make substitutions as soon as they are necessary, and not in the last few minutes of the game.
I am confident that, if appointed, and after introducing these changes, with our present squad, and the up-and-coming younger players, we can be challenging for Europe.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Dave Kenrick, Posted 22/01/2012 at 17:08:29
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868 Posted 22/01/2012 at 17:48:01
Dave Kenrick, for manager...
Come on, Bill, you know it makes sense.
I'll do your job as well, Bill, for free, and Elstone's.
I will sell Jags, to the Arse for £16million, and Coleman to the Shite for £12million....
Build a hotel and second tier on the Park End, and increase revenue with the Jagielka money.
I will buy Finch Farm with the Coleman money, and, if I haven't got enough, I will sell Bily as well, that should leave me about £4million, for Drenthe and Donovan.
Europe here we come..
24/7 my arse....
869 Posted 22/01/2012 at 17:53:31
The job's yours. Please forward copies of your Uefa coaching licences. Failure to do so will leave me to cancel my offer and simply assume you're a clueless gobshite who is the type that stands out in the pub, shouting contradictory bollocks at the screen with your fake replica top on.
I know I'm a total bullshitter, but you're embarrassing yourself with this.
872 Posted 22/01/2012 at 18:04:36
Who in the world of professional sports gets 10+ years to be a coach of a team that wins absolute shit??? Unprecedented.
What is the difference between Moyes and us?? Ok he played professionally and has his badges.... Beyond that he either is just a good salesman or he has a pic of Kenwright shagging a goat...seriously.
Of course all of the Moyes supporters will say "Hey, he knows what he's doing, he sees the team all week..." blah, blah, blah. We've seen this dead-ass team long enough to know the necessary changes that need to be made!!
Dave, when's the press conference?? I'll be the first one there...
875 Posted 22/01/2012 at 18:31:14
Can I add that if you are appointed you will endeavour to vary our attack so that not everything goes slowly out wide and then a high, hopeful ball is lobbed in; ie that at least sometimes we might play the ball on the ground and through the middle?
That said, I would have a different offer for Bill Kenwright, the central theme of which would be me calling him a taxi, politely of course.
876 Posted 22/01/2012 at 18:34:44
And have you noticed it doesnt matter now who he plays in whatever position. It doesnt matter who is injured because we still play the same shite. I know the board are crap but lets go down with a bit of spirit, lets take the game to other teams and lets get shut of Moyes once and for all.
879 Posted 22/01/2012 at 18:50:41
As I am sure every other person who witnessed yesterdays match would agree, the result was academic - the performance was more significant.
I said to my lad, (who has also witnessed every kick of the dross so far this season) after about fifteen minutes of the second half - "what are we actually coming to see". No excitement, no players playing with freedom, no attempts at goal, no good play, no edge of the seat stuff and for me the biggest problem - THE PLAYERS HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO MOUNT AN ATTACK.
We are at ROCK BOTTOM.
Before the game, I went to the Park End ticket office with one of my £15 vouchers that came with my season ticket, where I can buy another seat - this time for my dad, who was born in Everton and got me into this shit and he fancied going to a match. Guess what - they wanted £38 as it is a "premium" game. £38 pounds to watch that absolute shite, will they give a premium perfromance? - he will watch it in a pub instead. The club I have watched since 1981 is dieing and we the paying fans are going to be left with memories and nothing more.
Re-new for next season - FUCK OFF.
880 Posted 22/01/2012 at 19:19:50
888 Posted 22/01/2012 at 19:49:26
Will you bullshit the media when we have to sell one of our best players to keep the banks off our back saying it was the players choice to leave?
Will you continually tell the media what a fantastic chairman Bill is?
If the answer to the above is no, you ain't got a hope in landing the job
897 Posted 22/01/2012 at 20:48:51
Would you forego our Premiership status to play more open and attractive footie every week?
I reckon that is what in the back of Moyes' mind - however how much more of this shite being served on the pitch we can stand, remains to be seen.
Took me 3 hours to drive home this afternoon and for 2 hrs and 55 minutes I was annoyed that I fuckin' bothered in the first place.
The other 5 I was in the petrol station and obviously preoccupied. I soon got pissed off again when I realised how much of the £80 full tank I'd wasted again this weekend....
900 Posted 22/01/2012 at 20:44:01
905 Posted 22/01/2012 at 21:01:16
"I went to the Park End ticket office with one of my £15 vouchers that came with my season ticket, where I can buy another seat ? this time for my dad, who was born in Everton and got me into this shit.'
Two fuckin' classics from this thread.
Keep 'em comin lads ? it's all we have to laff about. But isn't being in the shite bloody funny!
907 Posted 22/01/2012 at 21:10:45
Now I don't hate David Moyes. Far from it. But right now, I would take Steve Kean or Dave Kenrick or Kermit the fucking Frog over him as the manager of our football club.
908 Posted 22/01/2012 at 21:17:29
The only way we will amass enough points is if Moyes goes, and although he doesn't have many fans on here, at the games nobody is chanting for him to go. It's a shame that it has come to this because he has done so well for us, but he needs to go for everyone's sake.
I think you could get pretty much anyone in and they would motivate the team more than Moyes does. If he went you would get an instant reaction from the players that I believe would see us rocket up the league and be comfortably top ten this season. The players we have aren't that bad, it's the manager that's the problem now.
Firmly in the Moyes out camp, and we should be letting him know how we feel at the games. Then he might do the decent thing.
917 Posted 22/01/2012 at 21:45:50
Surely then, we only have to put up with a maximum of 18 months of this complete and utter shite?
Surely he can't have earned another contract?
Surely we couldn't afford to keep him anyway given his massive wage?
How many managers in the modern era just get to the end of their contract and then "leave on a Bosman".
Let's hope David Moyes is one of the first. I shall be clinging on to this hope for the time being.
Just 18 more months of shite and stagnation before someone can come along and freshen the place up.
It's going to be a very long 18 months though.
924 Posted 22/01/2012 at 22:11:36
928 Posted 22/01/2012 at 22:23:07
Points 7 and8 "Shows a complete lack of footballing knowledge".
What the fuck is Moyes showing ?
938 Posted 22/01/2012 at 23:46:37
11) I will end world hunger
947 Posted 23/01/2012 at 00:22:49
We have an ownership problem. Moyes don't cut with a reasonable budget from new ownership? We have a managerial problem.
But not until the Kenright/Green group is out.
950 Posted 23/01/2012 at 00:53:15
He must have lots of pictures with goat's involved.
959 Posted 23/01/2012 at 01:45:05
1. How do we attack when we have sold all our creative players?
2. How do we score when we have sold all our better attackers?
3. How do we create and attack when we have no money to buy new players?
4. How are you going to turn us into a more attractive side when we have no players left, after they have all been sold.
5. After all your better players are sold and you have no replacements, you are then made to lie to the fans and show support to a chairman who is making a complete mug out of you, are you going to still come out in press conferences and be super happy and exude confidence?
If you can solve all of the above please put my name forward as character reference for your job application.
962 Posted 23/01/2012 at 01:58:18
965 Posted 23/01/2012 at 01:14:37
Sorry mate, you're deluding yourself if you think that. There are still many fans out there who believe Moyes is doing the best job possible under trying circumstances, that it's only a matter of time until we hit form and anyone who thinks otherwise is an ungrateful, unrealistic fuck wit.
There are two lasses and their Pumpkinhead partners who sit behind us and witter on all through the game. On Saturday, I shit you not, they came out with the following pearlers: "These people who moan about Moyesy obviously haven't been watching the games because all we're lacking at the moment is a bit of luck". " I thought we were fantastic at Villa". "He (Moyes) is still learning isn't he? He used to be all about motivation but now he's more tactically aware". "It's just such a difficult league this season." " I feel sorry for Kenwright. He really loves the club doesn't he. It's not his fault we're in a recession. I'd rather have him then someone like Abramovich".
This is the sort of unthinking, party line towing tripe they trot out during every game. They refuse to accept the evidence of their own eyes, and won't countenance any criticism of the manager or club. To them there isn't really any major problem. Win next week and everything is right with the world. Lose and it's simply a case of "unlucky Blues. Chin up Moyesy lad". They wouldn't sense encroaching danger if Michael Myers was stalking them up the staircase, breathing absolutely heavy as fuck in their earhole.
The really annoying aspect of it for me is that I think they're still a long way off from being in the minority.
969 Posted 23/01/2012 at 02:37:14
Alex McLeish Birmingham £2 million
AVB Chelsea £6 million
David Moyes Everton £3 million
Roberto Mancini Manchester City £3 million
Alex Ferguson Manchester United £3 million
Alan Pardew Newcastle £500k
Fabio Capello Engand £6 million
Giovanni Trapattoni Republic Of Ireland £1.5 million
So tell us please Moyesophiles just what does Disastrous Depressing Dire Dour Davey do to warrant being the THIRD best paid manager in the Prem and on par with giants like Mancini and Ferguson and SIX times more than Pardew at Newcastle
972 Posted 23/01/2012 at 02:57:29
975 Posted 23/01/2012 at 03:17:52
976 Posted 23/01/2012 at 03:21:32
980 Posted 23/01/2012 at 04:49:46
The thing is, if he leaves on a "Bosman", I think he'd be the first manager to complete a whole contract without winning anything.
As you say, 18 months is a very long time and he is on a wage so high it would be astounding for the club to renew it on similar money.
Personnally, unless he changes his ways drastically between now and then, if he gets a new contract that will probably be the end of my support for the club.
You can't help those that won't help themselves, and for someone who doesn't like in or is even from the UK, I am not obliged in any way to support them like some people. I do because I want to, and love the club. Moyes is making it very hard though.
037 Posted 23/01/2012 at 11:14:37
038 Posted 23/01/2012 at 11:20:03
I was only kidding..
039 Posted 23/01/2012 at 11:25:40
042 Posted 23/01/2012 at 11:50:48
An older man, usually in a position of power, that is exceedingly cheap. Will often go out of his way to gain money from people under him.
A fake cowboy.
044 Posted 23/01/2012 at 12:13:08
Qualifying for Europe and doing ok in some cups.
The board thought he was worth the money, so blame them for agreeing to pay him a ridiculous amount of money.
Why is Wenger on £6m, he hasn't won anything for 7 years....surely he is shite...I mean 7 whole years, surely longevity means success,,,No?
064 Posted 23/01/2012 at 13:15:08
Yesterday, Arsenal lost 2-1 at home to Manchester United and the crowd turned on their manager with chants of "you don't know what you're doing!" That manager has won titles, trophies and taken them from a philosophy of "boring boring Arsenal" to playing some of the best football in the division. Oh and they have a world class stadium. Admittedly he hasn't won anything for 7 years or so.
In that same time, we have won nothing. We are now slipping to being recognised as the 11th to 12th best team in the division (if we are lucky). On current form we may even be in another relegation scrap. We are in the same ramshackeled ground as we were then albeit with the odd lick of paint applied. We have reached one cup final. That is all. Been dumped out of the cup by the likes of Shrewsbury and Oldham. Our football has become boring boring Everton. We don't even grind out 1-0 wins. We lose by the odd goal or play for a draw against the likes of Blackburn.
If Wenger (whom I don't like for his whinging) can be criticised by his fans then why is our manager so revered? I would take Wenger's style of play over Moyes' any day of the week. Our manager will always value work ethic and the ability to track back more than someone who can put a foot on the ball or beat a man.
My son is 13 months old and I am seriously questioning whether to bring him up as an Evertonian. My dad passed it down to me and my brothers but if he were still alive, he would have finished with Everton the day they sold Rooney. Howard Kendall once said this club was a marriage and not a love affair. I personallly think it's a living curse. It's just desperate. The only thing we play for now is to maybe beat the RS once in a season.
I've never felt as low as this. Even during the two last day great escapes.
073 Posted 23/01/2012 at 13:50:31
Nobody promises it's an easy team to support. That's why it feels so good when were at Wembley etc.
Look at City. 10 years ago they were in the johnstons paint trophy, while Man Utd were winning European cups.
That's what's keeping me going anyway. although I agree with your sentiments.
075 Posted 23/01/2012 at 13:59:22
081 Posted 23/01/2012 at 14:26:57
That's the problem: too many ex-footballers who had limited football ability have ended up with these coaching badges (eg, Moyes); even Ian Dowie must have one ? that's the problem.
Football today all seems to be about defence ? Davey boy one forward at home enough said... and he does not look bothered ? Saha I'm talking about.
260 Posted 23/01/2012 at 21:22:41
I don't care if he goes to a club with money and is a success. He is not a success here and has dragged Everton into the depths with a brand of football I have never seen from this once famous club. I actually turned the game off after 20 minutes on Saturday because I was just watching a rerun of many previous boring home games. Yes they scored a few minutes later but it wasn't going to change the inevitable outcome.
The spirit within the team and the cohesion it brings just isn't there anymore.
Our closing down in midfield is woeful, the uncertainty in defence and the ponderous front players is just to painful to watch.
Kenright has to show some guts and admit that Moyes is no longer the Messiah and is ripe for sacking.
If it doesn't happen soon then I am sure season ticket sales will reflect the feeling of the fans come the Summer.
275 Posted 23/01/2012 at 21:49:38
A few flaws in your plan -
Dear Bill = why dont you fuck off Kenwright your destroying OUR club and while you are at it take dour Dave with you!
Love your approach to footy but unless we bring in Dave Jones as manager and sign Messi, Ronaldo, Silva, Nasri, Fabregas, Bale, Aguero, Beckford etc and reduce the size of our nets your dream will remain a dream.
281 Posted 23/01/2012 at 22:02:26
297 Posted 23/01/2012 at 23:15:18
I think our first >£7m signing was Andy Johnson ~ ten years later, but I stand to be corrected. Meanwhile Everton finished 13th in '93, 4 points above the drop), 17th in '94 (2 points above the drop) and 15th in '95 (5 points above the drop). The moral of the story being that Arsenal were a handy side in the early 90's and when Wenger took over, and top 6 finishes were the norm.
For Everton, the 6th place in '96 was a one off after 6+ years of decline and several near misses (relegation). That rot continued without challenge, on the pitch, until 2002. Off it it's never stopped.
314 Posted 24/01/2012 at 00:56:57
334 Posted 24/01/2012 at 05:47:47
335 Posted 24/01/2012 at 05:50:37
336 Posted 24/01/2012 at 05:57:28
371 Posted 24/01/2012 at 09:45:28
375 Posted 24/01/2012 at 10:02:45
I don't begrudge Man City their shot at being a big club. Their fans have stuck with them so fair play. I begrudge Chelsea though. Who admitted to supporting them when the likes of Vinnie Jones were at the Bridge?
The so called Big 6 (was it?) in the 80s was us, the RS, Man United, Man City, Tottenham and Arsenal. I can't see us getting back amongst those 6 unless their benefactors go off and invest in something else and football implodes.
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