Season 2011-12
The Mail Bag

We need more songs

 39 Comments: First  |  Last

Just sitting at work listening to all the Mancs and the Kopites go on about the songs their players have and it just makes me a little bit depressed at the fact we dont exactly have a bit of variety.

I was thinking we could use ToffeeWeb (and a local pub) to get some more songs going about our players. The Stracqualursi thread shows how few we had.

How about anyone who knows any songs put them on this thread and we try and get a few people willing to give them a go and see if they come off. I like the Fellaini one,

Fellaini, you are the love of my life
Fellaini, I'd let you shag my wife
Fellaini, I want curly hair toooooo

But we need better songs for the likes of Baines, who is now our best player, and some other members of the team.

Anyway that's just me; no doubt everyone will have the idea and call me all the things under the sun for even suggesting it.
Michael Ward, Jersey     Posted 16/09/2011 at 12:53:51

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Michael Evans
1   Posted 16/09/2011 at 15:14:43

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"Heaven knows I'm miserable now " ?
Tony Pickering
2   Posted 16/09/2011 at 15:15:27

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I'm no wordsmith, but maybe someone could take the tune to "The Rain In Spain" and use it with Bainsey.
Our Leighton Baines is the best in the Land"
Hmm, needs work I fear!
Mark Stone
3   Posted 16/09/2011 at 15:20:07

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Again? REALLY?
David S Shaw
4   Posted 16/09/2011 at 15:40:38

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For anyone interested in the singing at Everton there'll be another singing/standing area tried for the West Brom match. So to get your tickets within seats MM-PP 101-105 of the Lower Gwladys Street.

It was successfully tried against Villarael and Sheff Utd where there must have been 20-30 different Everton songs sung, including a new for Baines to Twist and Shout which surprisingly works very well.

Andy Crooks
5   Posted 16/09/2011 at 15:50:12

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No more.
Shaun Brennan
6   Posted 16/09/2011 at 15:55:13

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you don't know what your doing.
Robert Johnson
7   Posted 16/09/2011 at 17:09:47

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Here's a good one, sung in the direction of Kenshite.

Going down, going down, going down !!!
Tony J Williams
8   Posted 16/09/2011 at 17:27:02

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What do you think this is, X Factor or Glee?
Danny Burke
9   Posted 16/09/2011 at 17:29:25

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Leighton Baines, you probably think this song is about you, Leighton Baines.

someone else posted this on another thread but I quite liked it, not as a dig at Mikel, just had that "football fan humour" to it.....

Follow Follow Follow, Everton is the team to follow, and Ross Barkley is better than Mikel Arteta, he's the best little scouser we know!
Paddy McSweeney
10   Posted 16/09/2011 at 18:50:25

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9. I think the Leighton Baines song is great but haven't heard it sung by our fans yet. Is it one that is sung?

Michael, I agree that we really should have a song for Bainsey, he is one our top players and definately a legend in the making. Would be great if we're still singing his song in years to come like we do with Barry Horne... The Barry Horne song is one of our fans better efforts in my opinion

4. It's great that you guys have got the singing area going, I was at the Villa Real game and was good to hear the singing going on.

Hope we give as good a showing tomorrow as we did last week both on the pitch and in the stands. COYB
John Malone
11   Posted 16/09/2011 at 18:58:52

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we're so skint its un-be-li-ev-ab-le!
Dan Parker
12   Posted 16/09/2011 at 20:05:20

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I disagree. I love the primative man like grunting, yelling and mass hysteria when we score at Goodison. Leave the songs to the prawn sandwich eaters.
Dave Lynch
13   Posted 16/09/2011 at 20:07:58

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Tell you what.
Let's go the whole hos and do a.

'Evertons got talent.'

Second thoughts, lets not.
Dan Parker
14   Posted 16/09/2011 at 20:09:32

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I'll suggest one anyway.

Time to Say Goodbye?
Sean McCarthy
15   Posted 16/09/2011 at 20:17:40

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You need to get out more!!
Ste Blundell
16   Posted 16/09/2011 at 20:23:36

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That'll've been me Danny #9

Follow, follow, follow...
Everton are the team to follow,
'Cos Ross Barkley is better than Mikel Arteta,
He's the best little Scouser we know.

And to the tune of Waltzing Matilda.

One Timmy Cahill
One Timmy Cahill
There's only one Timmy Cahill, its true
And he jumps in the box like a little blue kangaroo
And bangs one in the net for the boys in Blue

I agree we need some new songs but it feels a bit gay posting them on here though.

The Twist and Shout Bainsy one sounds promising.
Adam Bennett
17   Posted 16/09/2011 at 21:46:42

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No doe, no doe, no doe
Everton is the team with no doe,
And it's not even funny,
That we've got no money,
Everton is the team with no doe!
Trevor Mackie
18   Posted 16/09/2011 at 21:56:23

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I've got loads but haven't got a decent microphone to record them and shove 'em on youtube - waiting for the brother in law (audio technician) to come up with the kit.

it's shit when you write them - gotta do a demo.
Charlie Percival
19   Posted 16/09/2011 at 22:01:17

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Sack the board seems like good one?
Dean Power
20   Posted 16/09/2011 at 22:36:33

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This one to ferry cross the mersey tune....

Oh Denis Stracqualursi, won't you cut fellainis hair....

or this one, follow follow follow,
Everton are the team to follow,
We'd rather have kenwright,
Than be a red gobshite,
thats just one we know....

I'll think a few more up before tomorrows game....
Dean Power
21   Posted 16/09/2011 at 22:48:00

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To the tune of singing in the rain...

We're singing for ya Baines,
We're singing for ya Baines,
What a glorious feeling,
He's scoring again....

Not my best work, granted!
John Daley
22   Posted 16/09/2011 at 22:24:25

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Didn't we do this shit only the other day?

"Just sitting at work listening to all the Mancs and the Kopites go on about the songs their players have and it just makes me a little bit depressed at the fact we dont exactly have a bit of variety."

Really? Depressed? It would have amused me no end to sit and listen to a bunch of tits banging on, not about the game, but about the inane shite they like to squawk out whilst at the game, or in the pub, whatever. It must provide them them with such a sense of pride that they know 8 ditties about Dirk Kuyt and not one of them contains the word 'cunt'.

We've got no cash, no new signings, no squad depth and the cast from Rainbow running the club but, you're right, the thing that really gets to me, and makes the current situation so unbearable, is the fact that we have such a limited fucking song book.

If we all concentrate less on the match and make more of an effort to chant an excruciatingly cheesy chorus, devised with all the lyrical dexterity of a fart, we'll be a much happier bunch able to look our local rivals in the eye once again. Either that or we'll just look like a bunch of half-witted fucking hoopleheads.



Chris Leyland
23   Posted 16/09/2011 at 23:08:40

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I vote that John Daley should be brought in before every game to give motivational talks to the players.

For fuck's sake man, with all the doom and gloom going on and the endless circular debates about our finances and Kenwright of late, I, for one welcome a little bit of light-hearted distraction from it all, for an hour reading shitty songs on these threads.
Dean Power
24   Posted 16/09/2011 at 23:14:08

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Or we could all just take life a little too seriously and spend our time digging at other fans of our own club who like to have a laugh with a few funny / silly songs to try and make the best of our current situation....
Bet you're a right laugh on a night out!
John Daley
25   Posted 16/09/2011 at 23:26:02

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"Bet you're a right laugh on a night out!"

I'm not too bad mate. Just keep me away from any karaoke and I won't kick off.
Chris McLaughlin
26   Posted 16/09/2011 at 23:27:23

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To the tune of Robbie Williams...Let me entertain you....



Arteta?s gone but Felli?s here,
Phil Neville?s on I?m full of fear
Bily move it up a gear
Now scream

Let?s start burning effigys
Of redshite captain Stevie G
His kids aren?t his it?s plain to see?Oh dear

So come on Blue boys?.entertain us?.
Come on Blue Boys?entertain us?

Jags can only smash it high
If Hibbo scores I think I?ll die
Heaven knows Bill likes to lie
Mon Cher
Moyesie always gets it wrong
We really wish he?s change his song
Distin?s got a massive dong
It?s huge

So come on Blue boys?.entertain us?.
Come on Blue Boys?entertain us?

If you believe the echo pages
Bill is really trying to save us
We see through him and his luvvy phrases?.YEAH!
Moyes?s tactics make me weep,
The Blues are sending me to sleep,
We?re 2-0 down, defence is weak..Oh dear
My minds going numb from another long ball
Cahill upfront on his own I think I?ve seen it all,
We?re tired of this bullshit someone give us some cash
At least I?m not a redshite they can kiss my ass!!

So come on Blue boys?.entertain us?.
Come on Blue Boys?entertain us?
Trevor Mackie
27   Posted 17/09/2011 at 00:01:39

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John Daley 22

Did make me laugh mate, deffo with you on the harsh reality of present day Everton, still won't stop me singing tho.
Michael Winstanley
28   Posted 17/09/2011 at 00:21:31

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That brought a smile to my face Chris.
Thanks.
.
Tony Cheek
29   Posted 17/09/2011 at 07:48:03

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Brilliant Chris...liked that. You know, I think we are going into this game with a lot more optimism. Although we only got a draw against Villa, we looked like we might have kicked the bad start complex into touch already.
So, you lot lucky enough to be there today, have a pint or two in the pub first, and give some of these songs a try, and have a good laugh. We all need that for christ`s sake!
Personally I liked that song to the tune of "chitty chitty bang bang" best...that was a corker!
Stephen Kenny
30   Posted 17/09/2011 at 10:08:52

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Money talks???
Andy Crooks
31   Posted 17/09/2011 at 10:42:58

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John Daley, best post for some time. The club's going down the tube but, hey, we're still zany, whacky fun guys.
Yes, I know, I'm a miserable git.
John Daley
32   Posted 17/09/2011 at 11:04:01

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"I vote that John Daley should be brought in before every game to give motivational talks to the players."

Actually, i've been providing one on one motivational sessions to Bily for the last eighteen months. The aim is to motivate him so much he'll be prepared to run through a brick wall for the team. So far we've progressed to him walking up to the wall and studying it really closely, before shaking his head and sitting down.
Kris Boner
33   Posted 17/09/2011 at 11:47:53

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Chris, I'd like to see the singing area remember all the words to that song... If that is your work you must be the Poet Laureate for Toffee web at least
Sean McCarthy
34   Posted 17/09/2011 at 12:30:24

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The 'Singing Area' is about 30 seats!! Average age 15!!

Im with John Daley!!!!
Mick MacManus
35   Posted 17/09/2011 at 12:27:42

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Money talks
But Bill doesnt have it
And he don't walk
And long as I can have E-F-C here with me
I'd much rather be
Forever in blue dreams.....

Nick Flack
36   Posted 17/09/2011 at 14:53:14

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If you want to sing nice songs go support the shite. Only one song counts, EVERTON EVERTON EVERTON...
Derek Turnbull
37   Posted 17/09/2011 at 18:32:49

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John Daley, people can think about more than one subject at a time you know.

Sean McCarty, the singing area is for less than that amount and the last couple of goes had around the 70 mark in there. Average age 15? No it wasn't, why would it be?

Why are you trying to patronise fans who wish to get behind Everton vocally?
Chris McLaughlin
38   Posted 17/09/2011 at 21:30:49

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Cheers guys..I was very bored and felt in a musical mood...great win today
Michael Madden
39   Posted 18/09/2011 at 07:23:52

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How about the St Domingo Song, found this great little number on You Tube - even my brothers who never miss a game, had not heard of this.

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