Tips for Mr Koeman

by   |   29/09/2017  14 Comments  [Jump to last]

Dear Mr Koeman,

Following on from your various after-match summaries over the past month, it would appear that the problem with the team not only stems from a lack of confidence or a lack of fight, but it could be from what I have seen to be a lack of fooball basics. May I suggest you possibly consider implementing some of the following new ideas before the next match?

  1. Show all players what an Everton Shirt looks like and explain that the other members of the team will all be wearing a similar one.
  2. Spend a few minutes during the pre match team talk to introduce the players to each other so that they know who their team mates are.
  3. Give each player a little map showing them in what direction they are meant to be going.
  4. Remember to reverse this map at half time.
  5. Possibly let them know that if they occasionally run a bit they can get to the ball before the opposition, if they want to.
  6. At half time when they meet with you, it's meant to be a motivational moment to inspire them for the whole of the second half, not just the last five minutes... or is it that it takes them 40 minutes to understand whatever it is you told them?

    I hope these revolutionary ideas assist you in the rebuilding of a once great club.

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    Reader Comments (14)

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    Paul Newton
    1 Posted 29/09/2017 at 17:43:11
    I understand that some of this might be a little too advanced, but let's try anyway:

    7. The more observant players might actually notice that one of the team is wearing different kit to the rest of them. If he answers to the name 'Jordan' and only looks about 12 then he actually knows what he is doing, and he won't he upset if you actually kick the ball AWAY from him instead of towards him. In fact, only pass the Jordan if you really have to.

    8. Because the aim is to get the ball into the opponents' net, it is a good idea to play TOWARDS it. So look for players on your team who are further up the pitch to pass it to. If you ARE one of those players it helps a lot if you run around to try to find space so that you can receive the ball without one of the other team getting there first. Sorry if this gets tiring.

    John G Davies
    2 Posted 29/09/2017 at 17:50:44
    8,
    Dismiss the advice given by the vast majority of ToffeeWebers.
    Steve Hogan
    3 Posted 29/09/2017 at 20:27:41
    It's amazing how the euphoria many of us felt in August has disappeared without trace by the end of September. Recent displays have confirmed what many of us suspected, that the team are playing like a bunch of strangers hastily put together without a proper game plan.

    I was thrilled, like many others, when Everton pulled off the seemingly impossible, and managed to prise away Ronald Koeman from Southampton, where he repeatedly managed to create good teams, despite being forced to sell his star players almost on an annual basis.

    Here's a guy who has operated on a modest budget, having to re-invent himself and still managing to compete with the 'big boys'.Coupled then with the appointment of Steve Walsh as Director of Football by a resolute and determined Farhad Moshiri, who was adamant that the 'right team' was in place to slowly put Everton at the forefront of British football again... So what's gone wrong?

    Just about everything, it seems, right from the start of the new season. An unconvincing home win against Stoke on the opening day couldn't disguise the obvious lack of chances being created from this team, even accounting for the absence of Lukaku.

    You could see what the plan was, to fill the side with players more than capable of notching 10 to 12 goals a season on an individual basis, and compensating for the 25 goals plus that Lukaku almost guaranteed. And this is where it all starts to unravel really, the Giroud deal was almost over the line, but a transfer deadline day knockback, meant we started the season without an experienced centre-forward.

    I'm not however convinced that – even with the inclusion of Giroud – goals would be forthcoming from this team, the way it is set up. Time and time again, we play as if we are walking in a vat of treacle, our approach play is so pedestrian it's untrue. Everton must be one of the easiest team's to play against.

    I'm sick of people (and even the media have latched on now) telling me, "Everton have no genuine pace in the team." That's not actually true though – Lookman, Calvert-Lewin, and Vlasic have all got pace to burn; it's just that Koeman either chooses not to play them on a regular basis or, as in the case of Lookman, isolates them altogether after one average game. In the case of Calvert-Lewin, he'll more often, play him on the wing.

    He's absolutely dogmatic that his choice of two defensive midfielders in Gueye and Schneiderlin is absolutely fine at home, and somehow the inclusion of Rooney, Klaassen and Tom Davies, will 'produce the goods', come what may. The team is so unbalanced it's untrue. I feel sorry for the players who are totally lacking in direction, even after a full pre-season of Europa League qualifying games, there is no shape or substance to the way we play at the moment. Koeman is like some sort of mad alchemist, throwing any number of ingredients into the mix, in the hope that one week, he'll produce a well functioning team capable of producing free-flowing football.

    The thing is, despite his rather sullen demeanor, I can't believe he doesn't listen to what's going on around him, or take the advice of his coaching staff. I'm not particularly bothered if he doesn't punch thin air when we score a goal, unlike the 'deluded one' across the park, but his cool, rather detached manner only gives the impression that he refuses to see the bigger picture that, at the moment, he is putting square pegs in round holes when he selects a team.

    The big question is this: is he likely to change the bleedin' obvious? We have an expensive team full of talented individuals, lacking leadership and direction, that has to come from him and his coaching staff. The statement today, where he accused the player's of being 'scared', was unbelievable – talk about a morale booster. What on earth was he trying to achieve with that outburst, on the eve of another 'must win' home game??

    At the moment, he cut's a forlorn figure in his press conference, but on a reputed salary of £6m a year, he simply has to do better. He either has an unbelievably strong belief in his own managerial ability or he's just plain stupid, and can't see the mess he's getting us into? I'm genuinely not sure which it is.
    Paul Kelly
    4 Posted 30/09/2017 at 07:52:23
    Don't eat yellow snow.

    Don't piss into the wind, but seriously;

    Don't play three number 10s in the same side.

    Don't blame the players for your managerial misgivings.

    Do try something different and do try it now, right now, as I'm typing if your reading.

    And if you don't, don't pass go and certainly don't collect £200 when you do and do shut the door on the way out, it's good manners.

    Anthony Hughes
    5 Posted 30/09/2017 at 08:03:39
    Don't fart in the lift if you're on your own. You never know who's getting in on the next floor and you'll be fucked for someone to blame. But then Ronnie boy blames anyone but himself
    Tony Abrahams
    6 Posted 30/09/2017 at 08:37:50
    Play players in their best positions, play a settled side, play a system that suits the team, and not your ideology, which might just help everyone to play on the front foot.

    Get the crowd off there feet, and you might even be surprised by how much noise they can make when they have something to shout about. "ENTERTAIN US!"

    Ron Marr
    7 Posted 30/09/2017 at 08:48:37
    Don't start two defensive midfielders for a home game against a team from Cyprus. If you see a taxi at Goodison, run to it as fast as you can, then jump in and close the door.
    Rob Young
    8 Posted 30/09/2017 at 08:57:05
    The Dutch won't qualify for the World Cup and will look for new coach.

    Call them!

    Rob Hooton
    9 Posted 30/09/2017 at 11:10:00
    Play some players who are quicker than the others and tell them to give us width
    Alan J Thompson
    10 Posted 30/09/2017 at 16:24:34
    And if at first you don't succeed then you'll feel right at home with this lot.
    Sean Kelly
    11 Posted 30/09/2017 at 17:02:29
    Don't blame anyone but yourself Mr, Koeman. Your tactics, or lack of them, your square pegs in round holes mentality has the players fooled but not us Evertonians. We see you as a spoofer and a fraud.
    Neal Kernohan
    12 Posted 30/09/2017 at 17:29:09
    10. Don't annoy and isolate your best players
    Ajay Gopal
    13 Posted 03/10/2017 at 12:34:52
    On a more serious note, I would give this advice to Koeman:

    Get back to basics: 4-4-2 or 4-5-1 (with 1 holding midfielder only)

    Bring back Barkley – make him feel wanted, explain clearly what is expected from him, and keep him fit.

    Get McCarthy fit and keep him – he is far better than Scheiderlin, Gueye and Besic.

    Trim the squad – it is too bloated now, difficult to keep everyone happy (this could be a contributing factor to the rumoured discontent in the squad) Have a small squad and rotate intelligently.

    In January, buy 1 striker, 1 Left Back and 1 Centre Back and sell: Besic, Schneiderlin, Mirallas, Lennon, Martina, Stekelenburg, Niasse (in the summer, when we get Onyekuru back from Anderlecht)
    (we should get £40 million for that lot)

    Our squad:
    GK: Pickford, Robles
    LB: Baines, New LB
    RB: Coleman, Kenny
    CB: Keane, Williams, Jagielka, Funes-Mori, New CB
    Defensive MF: McCarthy, Gueye
    Attacking MF: Davies, Barkley, Sigurdsson, Klaassen
    Wide MF/Wingers: Bolasie, Lookman, Vlasic
    CF: New CF, Calvert-Lewin, Rooney, Onyekuru (next season, I know)

    My 1st choice 4-5-1 (when everyone is fit)

    Pickford
    Coleman. Keane. Funes Mori. New LB
    Bolasie. Barkley. McCarthy. Sigurdsson. Vlasic
    New CF

    With the trimmed squad, and a few more returning from loan next season, we should be okay without needing to buy much more. I am glad to see that Onyekuru, Dowell, Browning seem to be regular starters for their respective loan clubs. Onyekuru, in particular, is doing well at Anderlecht – scored a winning 89th minute goal yesterday against Standard Liege.

    Steavey Buckley
    14 Posted 03/10/2017 at 12:48:24
    Everton don't have a squad good enough to give any tips to Koeman other than take the proverbial next taxi. The times Moyes and Martinez were lambasted over their team selections when having less money than most Premier League clubs... yet Koeman has spent 200 million to have a squad not good enough.

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