COLM'S CORNER

Magic Johnson

It would be remiss of me to allow Saturday’s wonderful victory at White Hart Lane pass by without mention.  I rank that result alongside the superb home derby day victory in December 2004, when a Lee Carsley strike ensured Christmas arrived early.  I’m not one for quoting chapter and verse from The Bible but I’ve long held the belief that yer man Moses descended from Mt Sinai with not two but three slabs.  The Ten Commandments inscribed on the first two slabs — believe what you want to believe, and live whatever way you so choose.  However, that third slab had a further commandment inscribed — in Aramaic — which roughly translated into English proclaimed “Everton: thou shall not beat the Hotspur of Tottenham at White Hart Lane”.  I swear – it’s true!

We have gone to hell and back over the years down at The Lane.  When Kevin Kilbane went for a bath before half-time, most of us probably reckoned the game was up… here we go yet again… What followed was the sort of performance to warm the heart of every Blue.

Confidence is a wonderful thing... it was a pleasure to see an Everton side passing it about with ease... pass, pass, pass... so much better to watch than that pathetic general hoofing of pigskin in the direction of a man with the biggest pair of tits seen on a pitch since Franny Lee in his Derby County days!

I do hope Mr Beattie accepts he’s a long way off the pace, his fitness and frame cause for concern.  His demotion to the bench will hopefully hit home and spark the player into getting into shape, the player he’s supposed to be.  A fit and raring to go (yeah, I did say raring to go!) Beattie can only benefit this team, giving us options.

Whether by hook or by crook... Moyes now has at the centre of all things good some wonderfully talented players like Osman and Arteta.  Nice to have the steel of Carsley behind them and a game like Saturday’s will do the axis of Yobo and Lescott no harm at all.  Have faith in your own players Mr Moyes and refrain from that God-awful life and energy sapping shite, hoofing the fooking ball forward at the earliest opportunity.

Watch that Johnson goal again and again and again. Oh yes, baby... now THAT'S what I call a goal... no doubt Osman will earn a plaudit or two for his role in the goal, riding a few tackles (maintaining possession)... but what a gem of a deft flick (one two) earlier in the move, from the left back position... who else but Arteta. Class cross from Phil Neville and not seen in an Everton shirt for a very long time — a player who takes a chance on moving into space... Andy Johnson and his finish was nothing short of top notch. Quality. He deserved that for his all-round effort on the day.

Long may he continue to watch old videos of Ian Rush at his best... because his work rate and attitude, for the greater good of the team, for me, echoes what Rush did, selflessly, for his team during his heyday. Chasing down a ball he had no right to win, gaining possession and winning a free kick, which led to the first goal... spoke volumes for Johnson.

At the minute there's not much more we could ask of Johnson; the lad must be loving it at Goodison and, dare we say it, carry on as is... We've AT LONG LAST got someone who can hopefully meet our high expectations... this guy's the real thing.

Psssttt!

Heard the one about the Premiership clubs talking about introducing a play-off series of games towards the end of the season, designed to decide who becomes Champions of England?  Sounds a bit far fetched, alien to anyone reared on the simple philosophy of England’s finest team being that team who accumulated most points over the season. It’s happened in Rugby League — and successfully so — so why not football? 

It’s also happened to the once glorious European Cup — rebranded as The Champions League, a competition more designed to swell the coffers of Europe’s self appointed elite, our friends the G14.  No longer must you be crowned domestic champions to gain entry to that one.  Our friends from across the park qualified for the Champions League back in 2003-04 by finishing 30 points behind Arsenal and then had the temerity to go and win the feckin’ thing in Istanbul!

So…if it’s now good enough for the Champions League then why not closer to home in the Premiership?  The Sunday Express made claims this week that a number of Premiership clubs have touched on the subject, airing their views — and no doubt gauge the mood for such a drastic change to the “greatest league in the world” (copyright Richard Keys, BSkyB).

With the way football is heading, you can see why clubs would approve of such changes to the Premiership.  We often deride the genuine lack of competition in the Scottish Premier League yet since its inception how competitive has the Premiership in England actually been?  Manchester United have been dominant since the breakaway from the old Football League and only Arsenal have ever dared to rival United for annual glory.  In recent years the Abramovich billions have catapulted Chelsea above both of them and into a position of control at the top.  Will we ever rival Chelsea?  Hard to see it just now but the cyclical nature of sport will always give us hope. 

Would such changes to the design of the Premiership benefit a club like our own — knowing that a top-six finish would gain entry into the post-season, cash-laden, winner-takes-all, cup-style lottery? 

It’s common knowledge that Herr Blatter is determined to force the English Premiership into line with the rest of Europe with a reduction of two clubs making it an 18-team league.  Christ, it’ll be fun that season — three up and five down?  If he gets his way, clubs will seek to maximise other avenues of income, to compensate for the loss of those fixtures.  Maybe it is with this impending threat from Fifa in mind that the clubs have had a bit of a chinwag, discussing all options to protect and improve the Premiership. 

As crazy as the idea sounds… you’ve got to say that if it came to pass it just might give clubs like Everton a glimmer of hope.  “Nurse…screens!”

Transfer Window Set To Close

Only a few days to go now before the transfer window shuts... and with no sign of Simon Davies (who has done okay so far this season) being involved in a game against his old club... wrapped in cotton wool for a reason?  If someone's dangling a carrot by the name of Malbranque in our direction and it's subject to offloading a player or two (Kilbane or Van der Meyde also?) then please Everton - GO FOR IT!  Wonder if Fulham manager Chris Coleman would take fellow Welshman Davies as part exchange for Malbranque?  We can but dream!

We've become accustomed to the beg and borrow culture of recent times... with a GUARANTEED £84M per club over the next three seasons (subject to permanent residency in the Premiership)... we can afford a gamble of sorts.  Me arl fella doesn't follow Everton and the politics as closely as he once did but he was spot on this week when commenting on any prospective ground move (noticing himself the empty corporate seats in our first home game of the year). People will pay good money to go and watch a good side; they won't pay to watch shite in any stadium, modern or otherwise! So, the priority should not necessarily be with a tidy Ikea-like bowl (sponsored to the hilt and named after some God awful multinational company only heard on the far side of Mongolia)...

IT'S GOT TO BE WITH THE TEAM. Get that right — easier said than done, of course — and the rest of the nonsense that comes with running and improving a football club seems somewhat easier.  Of course, if by any chance Mr Wyness you are reading this, can I just say that I noticed over the past weekend that Dermot Desmond stands to make at least €500 MILLION from the sale of his London City airport.  The Irish newspaper, The Sunday Business Post, asked one simple question – “seasoned Desmond-watchers are asking what he might do with an extra €580M in his war chest”.  May I recommend he receive some literature from your good self with reference to investing in Everton FC?

Anyhow, back to Saturday’s fantastic win – and it’s now dawned on me - twenty one years... my God... my kids now have footage of an Everton side winning at White Hart Lane in their lifetime!!!

One for the archive!