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Season 2011-12
The Mail Bag

Let's face it fellers, everything below the waist is kaput!

 32 Comments: First  |  Last

Don't know if any/many of you ever read the book 'Full Time' - the Tony Cascarino Autobiography, but I have been reminded of it (or some of the stuff in it) watching Saha over the last couple of years.

Firstly I should say that the book is/was almost unique in that it was staggeringly honest and revealed all sorts of (mad) stuff that went on in Cascarino's head and possibly/probably goes on in the heads of a lot of strikers.

Certainly the book was a massive departure from the usual "me and the lads were gutted" shite that fills the 'Sports' sections in Waterstones or wherever.

review -

One of the things I remember was that right at the end of his career, Cascariono actually ended up putting black dye on his sideez to make him look younger.

The reason wasn't vanity, but to convince a (French) club that he still had another year in him.

When he DID get another year, he was happy with the money but admits he was more than happy to stay on the bench and had lost any real desire to actually play.

He admits to being scared of playing, scared of missing chances, scared of (particularly Celtic) supporters, racked with self-doubt, racked with all sorts of mad stuff footballers NEVER usually admit to.

He admitted he though the money was great, he was tired of football.

I look at Saha and think he doesn't look scared of much, but he does come across as someone who has one eye (at least) on the next part of his life and though he makes the right 'I want to play' noises, I get the impression running through brick walls to score goals for Everton isn't actually that high on his agenda.

Human nature perhaps but something a manager should spot and not be duped by, financially or otherwise.

Eugene Ruane, Jibrovia     Posted 17/12/2011 at 12:44:25

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Kevin Hudson
1   Posted 17/12/2011 at 17:15:34

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James Hollister
2   Posted 17/12/2011 at 17:20:44

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Andy Crooks
3   Posted 17/12/2011 at 18:56:18

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Eugene,Tony Cascarino is quite different from the average footballer. He questions himself and has a self awareness that is scary. By the way,where is Jibrovia? Are you in some sort of exile? I would urge anyone to read Cascarinos book. I understand he's a mad card player too.
Paul Ferry
4   Posted 17/12/2011 at 19:03:15

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Eugene: where is Jibrovia? Coming from North Liverpool I never went south of the city centre - is it near Halewood?
Eugene Ruane
5   Posted 17/12/2011 at 20:27:35

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Next to Slovinskia (not quite a province of the former People's Republic of Freedonia).

Anyway, personally I think 'King' Louis has Cascarinoitis.
Peter Stone
6   Posted 17/12/2011 at 23:54:29

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NOW... we're getting close ;)

Noel Lynam
7   Posted 18/12/2011 at 00:00:05

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Andy Crooks,

Cascarino is different from most footballers in that most footballers didn't lie about their nationality for years in order to play international football. Only when his book was going on sale did he decide to conveniently tell the truth. I wonder how much he questions himself over that...
Nick Entwistle
8   Posted 18/12/2011 at 00:05:21

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He didn't lie, it was his mother who told him that she was adopted late into his international career, and as it turns out, she received Irish citizenship through her adoption which would have extended to Tony. A footballing myth... one of course he may have used to sell his book.
David Hallwood
9   Posted 18/12/2011 at 10:42:44

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Eugene, I think you're either an international drug dealer, Henry Kissinger's love child or one of the Beach Boys and you get around round round round.

But I think you've got a point, it is something that football supporters probably cannot comprehend as we would crawl over broken glass to wear the shirt, but a lot of ex-pros have voiced similar feelings-love the money, pissed off having to earn it. Saha's body language screams that he's had one too many injury, and like an old boxer doesn't want to put his body on the line.

He was a truely great footballer and showed flashes of it agianst Norwich, but the goals tally tell us everything and I've lost count of the number of times Baines has put crosses into the box and he & Cahill are MIA-it's not his or Cahill's fault they've just come up against their hardest opponent, old father time.
Andy Callan
10   Posted 18/12/2011 at 16:30:54

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It's not just Saha mate. Lets face it if you were his age and playing for a team going nowhere fast, in France, would you be arsed.

I certainly fuckin' wouldn't.

The game is dying and we can all see it right in front of our eyes.

Fellaini, Johnny the Madman, the Greek, the Argie etc have no loyality to Everton Football Club - no footballer 'cares' anymore.

After all if another employer offered you more cash for doing the same job, you'd leave. Why we expect footie players to be any different baffles me.
Eugene Ruane
11   Posted 18/12/2011 at 18:03:07

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Andy - personally I don't expect footballers to be any different.

I think I see them (and the game in general) almost exactly as you do.

For me Saha hasn't looked arsed for a long time and Cascarino's experience offers an insight into why.

I AM curious to know why (apparently) this isn't/wasn't obvious to those who had the chance to offload him and...didn't.

It's one thing not to give a fuck, but at least Cascarino was prepared to PRETEND to give a fuck.
Chris Taylor
12   Posted 18/12/2011 at 18:14:44

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I've read the book years ago and it's shockingly honest.
Noel Lynam
13   Posted 18/12/2011 at 23:54:17

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It's true he didn't know when he started playing international football. He did find out about his grandmother (whom he qualified to play for Ireland through) not being his biological grandmother a few years into his international career and chose not to reveal this fact. If that doesn't make him a liar, then certainly a fraud.

The fact that he decided to reveal this to sell a few books, thereby dragging others through the dirt with him, lost him a lot of goodwill and respect over here i.e. in Ireland
Nick Entwistle
14   Posted 19/12/2011 at 00:18:03

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Noel, your entire team were England B so what does it matter?

(That's for Euro '88)
Noel Lynam
15   Posted 19/12/2011 at 00:48:54

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And your entire team were the bastard children of centuries of colonial oppression ;-)
Nick Entwistle
16   Posted 19/12/2011 at 01:37:23

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Would people please give this colonial thing a rest... just because we were better at it than anyone else.

In history!
Eugene Ruane
17   Posted 19/12/2011 at 01:19:49

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Reminds me, I'm still waiting to read 'Awa Tae Fuck Referee, Ye Fucking Big Soft Shite!' - The Duncan Ferguson story that was mooted a while back (ok that title wasn't mooted, but I DO remember something about a book).

As for (other) books by ex Everton players, would like to read 'Sayers Was My Downfall' (Billy Wright). 'Me And My Psychosomatic Limp' (George Telfer) and 'Absolutely Terryble' (Terry Darracott).
Brian Lawlor
18   Posted 19/12/2011 at 10:30:48

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Saha is certainly no Cascarino, who effectively cheated a living from the game. Its no wonder he doubted his ability, he was shit.

Also, Saha had a good game on Saturday.
Paul Gladwell
19   Posted 19/12/2011 at 11:03:37

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Saha worked his bollocks off on Saturday, but he is having to come so deep to get the ball due to the lack of flair in the side and what do you expect when he throws two defensive minded players in front of the back four and Cahill who is running on empty in confidence and ability at the moment as his attack partner.
Mike Green
20   Posted 19/12/2011 at 11:00:43

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"Its no wonder he doubted his ability, he was shit."

:D Very good Brian.

Eugene Ruane
21   Posted 19/12/2011 at 12:17:32

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Mike/Brian - certainly Cascarino was no Jimmy Greaves but..'shit'?

248 career goals (yes many of them against shite) but if you add 19 at international level, it's not the worst record I've heard.

A 'donkeyish' looking forward certainly, but he banged a few

Saha may look 'cooler' but he's hardly set the world on fire himself (and the 'point' - "yeah but Saha had a good game on Saturday" - is rather weak).
Daniel A Johnson
22   Posted 19/12/2011 at 12:59:57

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The fact remains that every time Saha takes a shit there is a big risk that one of his legs may fall off.
Phil Bellis
23   Posted 19/12/2011 at 12:57:38

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Paul (4), Nice one...
Coming from Liverpool 8, the North End was somewhere in Lancashire
I still can't understand anyone who comes from anywhere north of Scottie Road
Eugene Ruane
24   Posted 19/12/2011 at 13:11:08

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Daniel (22) At the risk of coming across all Hannah Montana, I actually DID just....'lol'.
Brian Lawlor
25   Posted 19/12/2011 at 13:35:32

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Saha did have a good game and im simply saying so on a thread about him, which i thought was relevant.

What is 'weak' is the view that he has "one eye on the next part of his life"! Are you a pyschologist?

By the way, Cascarino scored less than 30 goals in the English top flight in his entire career.
Eugene Ruane
26   Posted 19/12/2011 at 13:58:31

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Brian (25) - be honest (I mean REALLY honest).

if I said I WAS a psychologist would it make any difference?

No it wouldn't, you'd be giving it..

"Well being a psychologist doesn't make you an expert.." blah blah.

Read it again, I said - "248 career goals (yes many of them against shite) but if you add 19 at international level, it's not the worst record I've heard"

You'll notice I DIDN'T say a genius (or as good as Jimmy Greaves)

You add something about only 30 goals in The English 'top flght'?

Well fine....but he scored loads for Marseilles, was known as' Tony Goal' and still is revered in Marseilles.

(think that's going to happen with us and lazy arse?).

For me the crime is Saha has more talent in his ball-bag than Cascarino, but I think his attitude has never been great and currently I think it's just about the cash.

As for him having more than one eye on the next part of his life, well in one way, it would be odd if he didn't.

My point is (unlike Cascarino) he doesn't seem that arsed about concealing it.

But you know what, it's Christmas so let's say YOU were right.

Let's say your argument was simply too good.

That informing me that Louis had a decent game on Saturday (without scoring) made you right and me...well, full of shit!

Happy Christmas!

(btw, my Christmas present from you was knowing you went off and counted up all Cascarino's goals and who he scored them for - POLTROON!)
Brian Lawlor
27   Posted 19/12/2011 at 16:38:08

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Eugene - the first two posts on this thread said enough for you to quit while you're ahead but like Cascarino your own insecurities had you coming back for more. No doubt you'll be back for the last word again and do you know what, I'll let you have it as you need it more than me.

By the way Einstein, "less than 30" shows exactly the opposite i.e. i didnt count his goals because i couldnt be arsed.

Happy Xmas.
Eugene Ruane
28   Posted 19/12/2011 at 16:49:40

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Brian (27) - cheers, one of my fave TW 'moves' (lovely to met old friends at this time of year)

Good to see you again...Mr desperate double-bluff!

Oooh, how clever, you post "I know you'll be coming back for the last word" then add something about 'insecurity' etc and I think "Oh darn, now I can't respond".

Well as Juliette said when Shylock Holmes tried it on in the Merchant of Vienna, 'as fucking if!'

You also suggest that I should have run and hid after comments from Hudson and Hollister?

Sorry but (like with your own attempts at savagery), I tend not to be put off after being mauled by dead sheep.

(you keep setting yourself up and OF COURSE i'll keep coming back 'for more').

You say you 'couldn't be arsed'?

Nob-head, you've been 'not arsed' THREE times on here alone and you were OBVIOUSLY arsed enough to check Cascarino's goal tally (or hey...maybe you didn't just happen to have had Cascarino's career goals in your head - yes THAT was it!)

Anyway, now for my own double bluff!


Ok, ANY further response by you on this post is definitely, DEFINITELY your sly, coded way of saying you love me (in an arse way!) and agree with everything I've ever said...EVER (and you love Frankie Cocozza).

(crosses fingers!)
Kevin Hudson
29   Posted 19/12/2011 at 18:16:37

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I should point out to Eugene (and especially to Brian) that my "Wtf..?" comment wasn't in any way a slight on the article. Like several other posters, it was purely in query of the location: "Jibrovia."

I did suspect it WAS some kind of 'Madeupistan,' but being both sad AND gullible, I Googled it to check!
As always from Eugene, a lively read.
Jamie Barlow
30   Posted 19/12/2011 at 18:51:04

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Frankie Cocozza. Ha ha, its comments like that why I have to check updates on here every 5 fuckin minutes. Brilliant.
Phil Bellis
31   Posted 19/12/2011 at 19:00:27

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Was he the one with the dead fit sister who wasn't the mountie? (don't mean the dead fit sister wasn't the mountie, err...)
Eugene Ruane
32   Posted 19/12/2011 at 19:29:30

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Phil, he was the one with the dead fit sister who was a mountie, THEN became a marine biologist specializing in the study of the fully aquatic, mostly herbivorous, marine mammal sometimes known as a 'sea cow;.

She always (are you ready for this?)...



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