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Candy Crush timeout rambling

By Iain Thomson  ::  21/04/2013 As I sit here at work, staunchly refusing to pay Candy Crush 69 pence, I have 21 minutes and 18 seconds to kill so I will write the following…

The Sunderland game sucked massive balls. It seems I mercifully only saw the highlights (for want of a better word) on MotD and it was even harder to watch than Alan Shearer trying to construct sentences. The Di Canio effect may be a few games of euphoria, then a year or so of mediocrity... then the sack — but at least it’s not mundane and dull.

I wrote couple of articles a few years ago about how a team play to a manager’s ethos — especially in the critical moments and, regardless of some moments of individual excellence or indeed individual errors, like Baines's howler the other day, the way the team play overall is the Moyes way. It’s as we all know primarily defensive and a wee bit old school: effective-ish but not inspiring.

I wasn’t surprised really by the Sunderland game; we all knew Barkley wouldn’t play consecutive games, we knew Di Canio would have Sunderland champing at the bit and fired up. I figured we would get a draw and we didn’t.

The thing that pissed me off more was the Arsenal game. We played okay initially, some joined-up football with the ball being given away more by guys trying to play than by guys hoofing it up the park. I’d rather Barkley tried to beat a man or do something proactive and lose the ball than lose it by having no belief in his ability and doing a Neville backspin floaty pass to nobody. However, as the game wore on and it got into the last 20 minutes or so, we became Stoke. In the crunch moments, we played Moyes's default style: hoof and hope — and that does my head in.

I didn’t support any football team really before this, I just supported Scotland and I guess followed Scottish players down south. When McFadden signed for Everton, I listened to his debut and Googled and found this website and have been following Everton since.

I’ve never been to Goodison Park, I don’t have my coaching badges, I’ve never played beyond Sunday League level, so I’m entirely unqualified to make a call on who should manage us. However, as someone who has come to care about the fortunes of Everton FC and who wants to see us play a brand of football befitting the club's history and that entertains, I would prefer to see a manager whose ethos was 'pass and move'. So, when we are under the cosh or chasing a goal, that’s how we play.

One can’t help wonder how our forwards would get on being coached by Di Canio or indeed a young McFadden. I know it’s the done thing to slate McFadden who was a behind-the-striker type player but Moyes used him as a wide player in our confidence-draining "run around after long balls" tedium.

Anyways, Moyes isn’t very adaptive: he’s not a young manager, we play how we play, and we always will under him. Will he get us a cup success, into the Champions League or relegated? Probably not. Would another manager get us a cup success, into the Champions League or relegated? Probably not. However, maybe another manager will breathe some enthusiasm into things, give flair a chance, give youth a chance, penalise poor form, be bolder making changes during games, be driven to win more than to avoid defeat and provide more entertainment.

I’m not Tony Marsh evidently... but maybe I would be if I’d been going to Goodison for years and seen the 80s and spent thousands and thousands on Everton. Or maybe I’d be Richard Dodd... Um, nope: I’m just not capable of being that upbeat about anything.

I’m aware this lacks structure and I’m rambling a bit but in closing I’d say I was a little jealous of Sunderland the other day: young manager leaping around, clearly giving a shit about what happened on the park, and clearly not earning £4 million a year while he leaves the club hanging on the "Will he? Won't he?" contract issue… It’s like we are all dating Moyes and he will tell us after his summer holidays if he still wants to bone us, but it depends if he manages to pull a DJ in Ibiza. We are getting shafted and some here seem to think that’s okay.

I got a pay rise the other week, in line with my achievements; Moyes is looking for one in excess of his. Lot of talk about how we aren’t a Champions League calibre team (and that’s spot-on), stadium, squad quality, wage bill, transfer spending — the list goes on. The only thing that’s of a Champions League team level is the salary we pay our manager — and that’s just bonkers.

[I’d like to apologise if I made anyone imagine themselves in a sex act with our manager earlier — that was not my intention... Though I’m sure it would be quite direct with a lot of pointing and shouting.]

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Reader Comments

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Nick Entwistle
669 Posted 21/04/2013 at 17:47:38
David Moyes old - 49
Di Canio young - 44.

I don't know if players being up for every match chomping at the bit and coming 10th in the league happens. There's reasons for finishing lower, and that is the play, the mistakes, the quality will be evidently worse.

Are people really going to be happier with 10-15 points less a season so long as the manager gives a decent interview, jumps about a bit, and players look 'up for it'?

Obviously there's no reason another manager can't do what Moyes has done, but then there's no reason that another manager can't do what Alex Ferguson has done either. When both managers go it will be fingers crossed time.

We don't fail to hit top 4 because of Moyes, he's the one who has us challenging. But its a glass ceiling. I do though think bar some miracle he is now gone.
Di Canio is a flavour of the month type, proved nothing but a good interviewee, and Malky Mackay surely can't be who Kenwright is after.

Ryjkaard. Won La Liga and the Champions League with Barcelona. He'll come for less than what Moyes is on.

Ross Edwards
677 Posted 21/04/2013 at 18:05:23
I agree with Nick, get Rijkaard in. He won't come here for the dosh, he'll come for the challenge of the PL.
It would show the club to be ambitious and put BK in a good light.
Rijkaard in.
Iain Thomson
698 Posted 21/04/2013 at 18:35:31
Of course we can get a more experienced manager than Di Canio we have a 4 million ayear manager salary to offer...i wasnt suggesting thats the calibre we should go for but more the footballing attitude he represents.

youth I was meaning more experience than actual age..Moyes is only 49???..yikes

Peter Warren
804 Posted 21/04/2013 at 20:36:05
Whether you hate or like him, Moyes has taken the piss with his "I will make a decision at Xmas" then not signing or admitting he is going.
Derek Thomas
933 Posted 22/04/2013 at 08:04:12
Short version; It ain't what you do it's the way that you do it.

The true test of De Canio and Sunderland will be when ( and how ) they lose their first game, how they go in the next and subsequent games until the end of the season.

And at the start of next season I hope our new guy, however he is, gets Sunderland away and shows how it Should be done

Alan Clarke
987 Posted 22/04/2013 at 12:22:18
I do think the players were tired on Saturday. I can't think they were suddenly 'not up for it' as some have said. Why would they suddenly not want to play CL football? I don't think Moyes suddenly couldn't be arsed motivating them either.

We played 3 tough games in a week. It doesn't matter how much you pay players, they're still human and still tire. Baines rarely makes those mistakes and I think it came from a lack of mental sharpness because he's knackered from hardly missing a game all season. Osman has looked dead on his feet since Xmas.

The issue is Moyes' failure to blood the younger players and give other fringe players a chance through the season (I'm not talking about Naismith). I don't think our small squad is all down to Kenwright. I think Moyes likes having a small squad. It's easier to manage and keep things consistent but why did he drop Berkley? Why won't he play Duffy? Why won't he play Oviedo? Where the hell is Velios? Maybe Sunderland away wasn't the best time to do it but maybe if these players had had more game time through the season, our players wouldn't be so fucked now.

Tony J Williams
989 Posted 22/04/2013 at 12:26:15
It seems our players are repeating the season where we finished 17, eyes already on the holiday destination and just ringing in their performances..... that and they are probably all carrying knocks but with a squad as thin as Posh Spices' legs, we can't change it too much.

The new guy will have less players to work with and I don't know why some poster believe that we will offer the new fella the same wages as a manager that has been here for 11 years....baffling

Dick Fearon
172 Posted 23/04/2013 at 11:49:01
If I could choose I would rather keep Fellaini and not Moyes.

The TV commentators at the Sunderland game made the correct call when they both agreed that the big fella was the only Everton player that looked anything like a midfielder.

I see the derby as being a judgement on Moyes motivational ability. Heaven help us!

Jamie Barlow
254 Posted 23/04/2013 at 18:31:20
If the players need motivating for the derby, they can all fuck off.
Steve Pugh
355 Posted 24/04/2013 at 07:24:27
First up I think some people need to stop living on our history. After all Everton have lost more top flight football matches than any other club, we have also conceded more goals than any other club. But we've spent more time in the top flight I hear you cry, yes we have and that is why we show up so well on the all time lists. But take into consideration that our average points finish since the war is only good enough for 11th, behind the great clubs of Watford and Swansea. If you look at top five finishes overall we are fourth, but since the war we are only 9th. What about the FA cup, our 5 wins puts us in right, level with West Brom but behind Newcastle and Blackburn.

So apart from our ability to avoid relegation what is the reason for claims that Moyes isn't living up to our history. It's kind of like saying that he didn't live up to Preston's history because he didn't win the double. Since the war we have had a few brief spells of success, but an awful lot more mediocrity.

If you ask me David Moyes tenure fits in with our history perfectly

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