Evertonian Ben Crabtree has won the official 2016-17 Fantasy Premier League having not picked a single Liverpool player for his team all season.

He held off the challenge of runner-up Uwais Ahmed on the final day of the season to take the title, finishing first out of four-and-half million entrants.

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Reader Comments (77)

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David Pearl
1 Posted 25/05/2017 at 01:11:33
Brilliant. Did he win anything?

I thought my 104,575 overall wasn't too shabby. My redshite friend spent the winnings from me winning our mini league. Well... we all know what kopites are!

Andrew Ellams
2 Posted 25/05/2017 at 08:58:02
Does this mean we qualify for the Champions League?
Colin Glassar
3 Posted 25/05/2017 at 09:03:17
Is he our next manager?
John Daley
4 Posted 25/05/2017 at 09:48:54
"Coming this week, Ben Crabtree reveals the strategies that took him to No 1."

"Strategies". Fuck me.

Next week: "Ben Crabtree reveals the secret role his supportive wife, Mrs Crabtree, played in his stunning march to victory."

Week after: "Ben Crabtree's top 10 wily budget buys you should blow your pretend money on this transfer window"

Two weeks later: "Your chance to win a team selected by Ben Crabtree or Ben's loyal assistant Cocksmurf the cavalier King Charles spaniel.

Three months later: "Fantasy League winner Ben Crabtree found in hotel room with part-time hand model with a lazy eye, two large jars of pickled eggs, and a brand new iPhone 8. Bemoans the perils of life in the public eye and his pact with that bastard Faust".

Still, one man is all ears as he seeks to mastermind a barnstorming assault on the title (ok, the top six) next year.


He's coming for your crown Crabtree .

"Fook oaf. Ah'm nae paying that fae him!"

David Pearl
5 Posted 25/05/2017 at 14:49:22
This just in. John Daley spends more time writing his comment than Ben Crabtree did on strategy in beating 4.5? Million other players
Shane Corcoran
6 Posted 25/05/2017 at 14:53:48
I came around position 23,000, which sounds shite, but is pretty good when you consider it's the top 0.5%.

I always fought the good fight against Liverpool players but didn't manage to hold out.

I'll know for next season.

Colin Glassar
7 Posted 25/05/2017 at 14:55:31
I once ended up in the top 100,000 playing Angry Birds. Does that count for anything? There were millions playing.
Tony Abrahams
8 Posted 25/05/2017 at 15:08:36
David @5, I don't know how much time John spent on that mate, but it was definitely a winner though. Very funny!
Colin Gee
9 Posted 26/05/2017 at 13:45:25
Good lad, sounds like a proper Evertonian.

I never have any RS or any ex RS in my fantasy team either.

Damian Wilde
11 Posted 27/05/2017 at 21:06:52
John Daley, you don't half bang on.
Dave Lynch
12 Posted 27/05/2017 at 21:17:31
John Daley with his attempt... Again at sarcastic wit.


Andy Crooks
13 Posted 27/05/2017 at 21:33:19
Dave, that is a curmudgeonly comment. John Daly is one of the best reasons for coming on this site. Being prepared to scatter top gags on a small audience is a sign of talent.

There are some very talented contributors on here. From the guys who talk tactics and know every player in Europe to those who know how one single comma can give sharp comic timing.

I come on here to be informed and entertained and I appreciate the entertainers.

Shane Corcoran
14 Posted 27/05/2017 at 22:31:07
Yeah I think Daley and Ruane are a good duo, when I know what it is they're going on about.
John Daley
16 Posted 28/05/2017 at 00:35:35
"John Daley, you don't half bang on"

Says Damian Wilde whose every post over the past 18 months or so can basically be boiled down to the word "Barkley" followed by a bilious rendition of this 'not banging on at all' riff:


John Daley
17 Posted 28/05/2017 at 00:38:24
"John Daley with his attempt... Again at sarcastic wit.


Dave Lynch with another of his err...uhm...shit nah, sorry, racking my brains here, but I can't recall anything written by your good self registering at all. Ever [deliberately snubs the opportunity to insert a 'David Lynch: Eraserhead' gag here].

Now I've seen what you're capable of though? Wow!! What have I been missing out on? Anyone who cleverly signals boredom by ingeniously stretching out the word 'yawn' is clearly a caustic wit well worth keeping an eye out for. Seriously, I can't wait to see what you'll come up with next.

Maybe you'll take it to the next level and start slapping "Not!!"on the end any disingenuous sentences to signify sarcasm? That would be both searingly original and so, so funny.

n.b: Still, at least I now know how Stephen Toast felt during this scene:


Dan Davies
18 Posted 28/05/2017 at 01:22:41
The pickled eggs 'cracked' me up John, fair play. Worth reading the thread just for that.

Seems some have a sense of humour bypass on here. Yaaaaawn.

No pleasing some people. FFS!

Gary Russell
19 Posted 28/05/2017 at 02:56:54
Agreed. John and Eugene are superb. I have just been howling to John's fantastic link in riposte to Damian. His talent for those alone is priceless.

'Fuck the shit fuck the fucking shit shit the fuck.'

Dave Lynch
20 Posted 28/05/2017 at 11:43:53

I don't find your "caustic" witt funny, but that's okay because we all have our own opinion on what is and is not funny.

I would have thought "comedians" would have the ability to laugh at themselves and take criticism, after all they dish enough of it out.

Love the reference to the director by the way.

Never heard that before... Not!

There, satisfied.

Ray Roche
21 Posted 28/05/2017 at 11:55:14
John (#16),

Isn't that link a cover version of a Mother Theresa track?

Eugene Ruane
22 Posted 28/05/2017 at 13:58:11
Oh fuck me this is superb!

Just clicked on this link (and I'm glad I did) to kill time before going for a pint and saw this..

'John Daley with his attempt... Again at sarcastic wit. Yaaaaaaaaawn.' and 'John Daley, you don't half bang on.'

Comments by Damian 'Ken Tynan' Wilde and Dave 'John Lahr' Lynch.

This is Ronald Chesney and Ronald Wolfe giving Galton and Simpson down the banks.

Talbot Rothwell slagging Neil Simon.

Imagine the sense of humour you'd have if they DID find you hilarious.

My guess Link

(If I don't get a "get a room" from one of them, I'll be furious.)

John Daley
23 Posted 28/05/2017 at 14:38:39
"I don't find your "caustic" witt funny, but that's okay because we all have our own opinion on what is and is not funny. There, satisfied."

Well, I suppose it's okay.

As Fantasy Football champion Bernard Crabtree may soon be about to find out, that's the problem with making a Mephistophelian pact. There's always a downside and a harrowing trade-off/price to pay.

When faced with the choice of (a) being financially comfortable for life, being slightly better looking than 'sexy' former darts slinger Steve 'The Adonis' Beaton, having facial hair finer than Magnum PI furnishing my top lip, and subsequently getting hitched to a lasciviously sleazy, semi-intelligent woman, with an inhumanly tight arse, a talent for jamming thumbs up that would leave Jimmy Crankie insane with jealously, and who can still manage to both operate a microwave and bang the kettle on (just about), or (b) forever forsaking the ability to make some bloke on ToffeeWeb called Dave Lynch laugh... well, I've got to admit: I was fucking torn over what to do. 

Still, I consoled myself with the fact that a man of such stunning, finely honed repartee, who was ready to declare himself "satisfied" after signalling sarcasm with an extended 'yawn' and slapping a superfluous 't' on the end of the word 'wit', would surely have no trouble whatsoever in finding their amusement elsewhere.

It's a real weight off my mind to discover that's exactly how it all turned out in the end:

Laugh Along With Dave Lynch During Leisure Activities: 

Episode 1: Driving


Laugh Along With Dave Lynch During Leisure Activities:

Episode 2: Fishing


Brian Denton
24 Posted 28/05/2017 at 14:51:21
John, may I gently point out that the accepted expression is a 'Faustian Pact' rather than a 'Mephistophelian Pact'.

Keep 'em coming though. I always enjoy reading you and Eugene. The latter's recent work hasn't been as good as his early stuff, but I suppose that will be said of all actors/comedians/pop groups...

David Graves
25 Posted 28/05/2017 at 16:21:46
Brian I think you might be wrong; Mephistophelian Pact was the right analogy. And I also think you are wrong about Eugene's recent postings. Like many on this site it is their ruminations that I look out for and to criticise either, given they post for the entertainment of others, is mean-spirited.
Brian Williams
26 Posted 28/05/2017 at 16:38:47
No more mean-spirited than when one or the other, or both, of them try to get their laughs by belittling others.
Brian Denton
27 Posted 28/05/2017 at 17:16:29
David, I am neither mean-spirited (how did you get the idea I was criticising either of our resident Oscar Wildes?) nor wrong about the expression. Both are right in the sense that they are metaphors about making a pact with the Devil: just that one is more often used than the other. 'Faustian Bargain' is another one.

However, I am a fair-minded correspondent, so I Googled the relative hits of "Faustian" and "Mephistophelean" Pacts, and my one came out ten times more popular. And anyway, it was only a 'gentle' remark to John. I chose the adjective deliberately.

Don Alexander
28 Posted 28/05/2017 at 17:37:41
Just wondering folks, do you think Eugene's gone out for his pint yet, 'cos I was thinking of posting?
Andy Crooks
29 Posted 28/05/2017 at 17:45:37
Brian, I have been posting on here for a long time, during which I have at times disagreed with John and Eugene (Shane Duffy). However, I have never felt belittled by either.

I guess they spot flannel when it is repeated often enough and understand the difference between fact and opinion.

Brian Denton
30 Posted 28/05/2017 at 17:54:57
Too many Brians, Andy! I assume your riposte was directed at Brian W and not Brian D.
Tony Hill
31 Posted 28/05/2017 at 18:12:01
Too many on here are inclined to ingratiate themselves with John and Eugene, but what both of them do, most of the time, is to keep things up to the mark. As do others.

I know that I make my contributions mindful at all times of the attacks I may attract from any other TW member. That's as it should be. I often write stuff which in retrospect I really wish I hadn't because it's bollocks (on my own cooler analysis), but that's the nature of this forum and of football debate. We're going to be angry, irrational and ridiculous and then we must expect to be hauled up. I would rather that were done intelligently and wittily.

We are not here to agree or disagree blandly with each other. Hard criticism, including mockery, means that we take more care which, in turn, makes this site superior.

Eugene Ruane
32 Posted 28/05/2017 at 20:11:36
Tony # 31 - 'I know that I make my contributions mindful at all times of the attacks I may attract from any other TW member.'

I (genuinely) say this with no sarcasm or anything 'hidden.'

Me too...and imo, there's nothing at all wrong with mindful.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not in the least concerned with 'attacks', but attempt to ensure that my contributions (time allowing) will be thought through rather than unthinkingly/angrily fired from the hip (so to speak).

And as a courtesy (nb: so TWers aren't forced to read garbled unreadable bollocks) I'm also mindful of things like 'that red line means spelt wrong, so check it out and correct it' etc.

Of course I understand (see Dunning-Kruger effect) many will simply cry 'foul!' ('smart-arse!' etc) but I don't give a shite as I made the following decision a couple of years ago - 'I refuse to dumb down, they'll have to clever up' (and if they won't, fuck em', let them wallow in ignorance - the same books, articles, films, google etc are available to everyone).

Brian # 24 - 'Keep 'em coming though. I always enjoy reading you and Eugene. The latter's recent work hasn't been as good as his early stuff, but I suppose that will be said of all actors/comedians/pop groups...'

I'm like Viz..which as readers will know, has for many years been 'not as funny as it used to be.'

Andy Crooks
33 Posted 28/05/2017 at 20:21:56
Tony, I have written stuff on here, late at night after a few beers, that, thank God, the editors have seen fit to consign to oblivion. Unfortunately, some gets through. However, I think the notion that adults on a football site try to ingratiate themselves with others is silly.

I have fundamentally disagreed with some posters on one thread and applauded them on another. I would hope that none of us are so entrenched in our views that we cannot change our minds. There are most certainly some posters on here who have made me reconsider some of my views.

We are, probably luckily, unlikey to meet most of the people we debate with on here. That is what makes it good. When someone makes me laugh out loud( it doesn't happen much) then I will admire them for it. This isn't Facebook. We are adults arguing over something that matters to us but not to many others. Certainly not my wife, who is giving me a filthy look right now. Got to go.

Dermot Byrne
34 Posted 28/05/2017 at 20:49:12
Hmmm... "mindfulness" – now there is an excuse from HR for bad management. "Resilience" another.

[Off on a tangent. Apols.]

Brian Denton
35 Posted 28/05/2017 at 21:58:54
Here's one for you Eugene (and anyone else who cares to contribute) since I know we are of very similar vintage. Recently I watched an episode of Monty Python from the classic (1969-72) period. It was completely unfunny, raised ne'er a smile. Yet as a kid I remember I would count the days until Tuesday 10:15pm came round - the Thursday peak-time slot came later – so funny did I find it. What's that all about, then?

And if that isn't going off-topic, I don't know what is!

Andy Crooks
36 Posted 28/05/2017 at 22:23:39
Brian D, I only liked Monty Python because my mates did. I thought the animated stuff was specially unfunny. I actually liked Bilko better but it was black and white which was, strangely, a big deal to me when I was 12
Jay Wood
37 Posted 28/05/2017 at 00:06:46
You can tell it's the closed season that this thread has strayed into the merits or otherwise of John D's and Eugene R's posting.

Like each and every one of us, they have good,bad, and 'meh' posts. Their wit, humour, opinions and observations may be heavily acerbic at times.

On occasions, I think they do stray into belittling other posters unnecessarily. On other occasions, I think some take offence too quickly and easily when their views are challenged by the Daley - Ruane house style (there's a new tabloid name in there, for any would-be media entrepreneur).

I certainly don't agree with all their views or how they choose to post at times. For example, I find Eugene's crusade against posters' poor grammar and spelling rather absurd. I take a more tolerant view of such 'errors' unless the message is completely garbled.

But this site is most definitely enriched by their presence. I for one enjoy rattling sabres with anyone on here capable of engaging in true debate beyond the reductive 'yous are talking shite! do you actually watch the games? etc, etc.' You know the type.

One thing's for sure, if you want to engage with them, you better bring your A-game to the table or face the consequences.

And as Tony Hill and Eugene himself comment, I like and appreciate posters capable of keeping you on your toes.

David Graves
38 Posted 29/05/2017 at 00:33:44
Brian – because one analogy is used more than another doesn't make the less used one wrong does it? And I thought it was mean-spirited to suggest that one of our esteemed posters was on the wane.
Eamonn Turner
39 Posted 29/05/2017 at 03:13:43
What would TW be without the eclectic mix of opinions, personality traits etc. For sure there will be passionate rebuttals and arguments (some may take offence) but isn't that what it's about? Personally I enjoy both John and Eugene's posts, and no that is not me ingratiating myself to them.

I am slightly disappointed though Eugene that with all that's been going on in the Moyes household we haven't heard much from Morag?

Well done, Ben Crabtree too, by the way.

Brian Denton
40 Posted 29/05/2017 at 09:08:45
David, we'll have to agree to differ on the literary question. It's rather like saying "which group do you associate with the song Ticket to Ride – The Beatles or The Carpenters?" Both are right answers, but I would say one answer is 'righter' than the other.

Re Eugene – long may he flourish. If I'm being honest, I only shoehorned in the 'earlier work' jibe as an attempt to be humourous. Obviously fell flat.

Mind you, "Moyes on Holiday" set his bar very high, his equivalent of Citizen Kane for Orson Welles. Doesn't make The Magnificent Ambersons or Touch of Evil crap – just not as good...

John Daley
41 Posted 29/05/2017 at 13:06:32
Damn. It's true. Everyone's a critic (although Jonathon bloody Ross ruminating on film really should have given the game away long before now).

I feel a bit like Brick Tamland turning up at his own funeral in Anchorman 2.

Thanks for the feedback? 

For my part, I promise to ponder all comments (both positive and negative) over the pre-season, before returning in August a new man, enlightened by the error of his ways.

Kind of like Carlito Brigante being released back onto the streets: "Completely rehabilitated, reinvigorated, reassimilated" but, unfortunately for some it seems, not "relocated". 

So, I guess that means I'll be trying my best to keep my nose clean, play it straight, bang a ginner and refrain from rubbing anyone up the wrong way, before...inevitably... slowly slipping back into my bad old habits and...err...ending up flat on my arse in a pool of my own muck mumbling incoherently to myself in a train station (hopefully Euston, after watching Everton fuck someone over in a Wembley final).

John Daley
42 Posted 29/05/2017 at 13:12:19
Fair shout, Brian (@24),

Under normal circumstances I too would probably opt for 'Faustian pact', but having name-checked Goethe's gullible little git earlier in the thread, I thought it would be poor form to repeat myself (I will however maintain that, as Mephistopheles was party to said pact, either phrase remains permissible. Popularity be damned).

"[Eugene's] recent work hasn't been as good as his early stuff, but I suppose that will be said of all actors/comedians/pop groups..."

In defence of Eugene, it's becoming increasingly difficult to compete with the proliferation of trendy, new 'alternative' acts on ToffeeWeb (sometimes referred to as 'the Wilde men') whose more modern posting style consist of an incessantly pounding repetitive beat, a 'sample' of about five words (three of which will invariably be along the lines of "he/they is/are shit") and some cartoon face thing the kids call a fucking emoji slapped on the end.

Why, in the face of such fast-evolving competition, it's hardly surprising that a more well constructed, in tune, lyric heavy effort, building to an actual point and favouring humour over "I'm not going to stand for it anymore" fume, can sometimes appear almost antediluvian in origin.

Dave Abrahams
43 Posted 29/05/2017 at 13:26:32
John Daley (41), please don't straighten up and fly right. If you are going be nice for the sake of being nice... don't; just carry on as you always do.

You might offend some at times, but at least you will be being yourself.

John Daley
44 Posted 29/05/2017 at 13:47:18
I've always been nice to you Mr Abrahams and am willing to remain so, even after you recently revealed how you travelled to that game back in 1931:


John Daley
45 Posted 29/05/2017 at 13:50:07
Just realised soft ollies @42 mangled the name Mephistopheles. What a meff.
Brian Denton
46 Posted 29/05/2017 at 14:00:54
Stick with it, John. And you'll get extra points if you can get the word 'trope' into one of your Lawrentian streams of consciousness.
Dan Davies
47 Posted 29/05/2017 at 14:03:36
Who's Mephistopheles? What position does he play? Some name on the back of the shirt that! Sign him up!
Dave Abrahams
48 Posted 29/05/2017 at 14:14:16
John Daley (#44), Four of us had to carry that horse, and to make matters worse we lost our claim for the trauma and upset of the accident, fuckin' useless that Rex Makin.

Mr Abrahams!!!! I feel like I've been knighted, mind you I would have turned it down.

Andy Crooks
49 Posted 29/05/2017 at 14:47:52
Dave, who is Rex Makin?
Ray Roche
50 Posted 29/05/2017 at 15:13:09
Andy, he's a well known Liverpool solicitor, even represented me when I was 19...
Paul Tran
51 Posted 29/05/2017 at 15:14:00
Rex Makin was the go-to solicitor if you wanted to win a case, regardless of any level of guilt or misdemeanour. Think his middle name was 'How the fuck did he get him off that one?'
Dave Abrahams
52 Posted 29/05/2017 at 15:38:51
Andy (#49), as Ray and Paul say,Rex was a character and well known solicitor, he was involved in 'The Cameo Case' as a junior defence counsel, which was a famous murder trial in the late forties.

A fella I knew had used 'Rexie' as he was called by many of his clients, to defend him. Rexie did a good job just to get this lad bail. However, he did a runner and never turned up to face his trial, knew he was going down for a stretch.

He eventually had to face the music, Rexie took him on again for the trial, but not before he castigated him for doing a runner. He said to him "I'm going to call you name I've never used on anyone before... You... You.. [long pause] SHITPOT' the lad thought, "Fair enough, Rexie, I can live with that and after a long plea of mitigation by Rexie got a shorter sentence than he expected.

Paul Tran
53 Posted 29/05/2017 at 15:43:51
Didn't Rexie get Ken Dodd off that tax case where he had a stash of money under his bed?

It led to the joke about Doddy having two new Diddymen; Diddy Pay & Diddy Fuck!

Jay Wood
54 Posted 29/05/2017 at 16:06:08
Paul @ 53

I recall that line! Thanks for jogging my memory banks.


Eric Myles
55 Posted 29/05/2017 at 16:07:57
Rex Makin was well known as a compo lawyer, hence the oft used phrase when you had an accident "Don't move me until Rex Makin gets here".

His lad was a long-term representative of a high-profile prisoner who died last week.

Tony Hill
56 Posted 29/05/2017 at 16:17:24
Paul, I think Doddy's was the first major prosecution lost by the Revenue. The prosecution counsel was Brian Leveson who conducted the fairly recent inquiry into press behaviour and freedom, also from Liverpool. Doddy's counsel was George Carman who used to go on the piss with George Best.
Darren Hind
57 Posted 29/05/2017 at 16:29:04

Was whiplash not invented back then?

Funny Rexie's name should come up on this thread.

I once thought I had John Daley on a particular point but it was like trying to hit Floyd Mayweather. My lads were pissing themselves. They have been instructed to seek him out and pay him what he wants to represent me if ever I find myself in the dock.

Ruane and Daley? Essential part of the ToffeeWeb attraction. If you can't stand the heat...

Eugene Ruane
58 Posted 29/05/2017 at 16:33:11
In the 80s, plenty of our local plod despised 'sexy Rexy' because he tore to shreds so many of their badly devised, get-these-crimes-off-the-books, fit-up cases.

Two good mates of mine (100% innocent) were found not guilty in such a case and were awarded substantial damages after Makin's men showed, beyond any doubt, the whole thing was a pre-conceived fit up by Merseyside's finest, who were shown up as a combination of bone-idle and corrupt (kept their fucking jobs though!)

With a less able defence, they could have easily gone down (as I'm sure many others did).

This is not to say (does Young Ones Rik) 'Yeah... um... fuck the fuzz..okay?' but back then, we seemed to have a particularly large amount of 'rotten apples' in our particular rozzer barrel (it was all very un-Dixon Of Dock Green).

By the way, something (see link) tells me that the 'sexy Rexy' nickname (used by people like my mam and dad) undoubtedly came about simply because (for some reason) people are drawn towards simple rhymes Link

Gary Russell
59 Posted 29/05/2017 at 16:46:36
Eugene @32, a question. Should that comma be outside the quotation marks?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not in the least concerned with 'attacks', but...

Andy Crooks
60 Posted 29/05/2017 at 16:54:22
Gary, that post is very pertinent to me. My daughter was, after being diagnozed with diabetes, put on a capabilty procedure. She was an adult literacy tutor and resigned after a written warning following her failure to get the comma you refer to correct. It happened once in 100 papers she marked. Grammar counts. It really does.
Paul Tran
61 Posted 29/05/2017 at 17:00:19
Gary (#59), I think it should.
Eugene Ruane
62 Posted 29/05/2017 at 17:10:48
Gary (#59) – Do you know the answer?
Gary Russell
63 Posted 29/05/2017 at 17:14:55
No. It's a total head fuck with so many opinions on this and that side of the pond.

Do we blame our schools, or a who gives a flying cockatoo attitude?

Phil Bellis
64 Posted 29/05/2017 at 17:20:28
Sorry to break in but on a day to remember the victims and those who still grieve for them, LFC acknowledge "...events in Block Z of the stadium tragically led to the deaths of 39 people..."
They went to a football match and never came home
Rest In Peace
Gary Russell
65 Posted 29/05/2017 at 17:20:34
As in headfuck, head-fuck or the one I used. Nightmare!
Tony Hill
66 Posted 29/05/2017 at 17:26:46
What is truth, as you properly enquire, Gary? Or inquire. Probably not.

Mr Palomar by Italo Calvino. Sound on this sort of thing.

Gary Russell
67 Posted 29/05/2017 at 17:31:22
115 minutes gone... Huddersfield 0, Reading 0.

One-hundred and fifteen minutes gone... Huddersfield 0, Reading 0.

Gary Russell
68 Posted 29/05/2017 at 17:42:15
Phil Bellis
69 Posted 29/05/2017 at 17:46:11

I was arrested for walking down Dale Street at 2000 hours, having long hair at being 19. The official charges were, of course, the standard D and D, resisting arrest and assaulting a police officer whilst executing...

E Rex tore them to shreds, quoted their absolutely verbatim separate reports, introduced my companions/witnesses, including a Captn in the Kings Lancs and the Deputy Chief Architect of Liverpool.

Result... if I was guilty of anything, it was skylarking... Case dismissed, free to go, not a stain etc.

"You four, constables! remain behind!

Gary Russell
70 Posted 29/05/2017 at 17:53:50
Huddersfield in the Premier League!
Eugene Ruane
71 Posted 29/05/2017 at 17:59:24
Phil - 'I was arrested for walking down Dale Street at 2000 hours, having long hair at being 19.'

Just think, while at school, had you not been forced (at ferrule point) to have a (very) short back and sides, at 19 you might not have felt the need to rebel and grow your hair.

Consequently, you might not have looked such a target.

I blame...

Lev Vellene
72 Posted 29/05/2017 at 18:10:58
Gary (#70),

I can't wait to get a draw there!

Rob Halligan
73 Posted 29/05/2017 at 18:58:22
League Cup or FA Cup, Lee? Either way, we should win.
Peter Mills
74 Posted 30/05/2017 at 15:33:33
I think the Sexy Rexy name was born after Mr Makin was rumoured to have been questioned by the Boys in Blue about an alleged importuning incident on Otterspool promenade.

I further think no charges were ever brought against him, but the name remained.

Phil Bellis
75 Posted 30/05/2017 at 16:32:04

Bioletti's did a roaring trade from SFX lads being sent there to get "sensible" haircuts. I once in retaliation got what was then known as a "crewcut" and on returning to school for inspection, promptly sent home while my hair grew back to a "proper" length. You try telling kids these days .

Peter Mills
76 Posted 31/05/2017 at 20:25:22
Phil, "Hairlucinations" in the New Strand made a similar coup with lads from St Mary's, Crosby, in the early 70s. I was sent home as my hair was over my collar. The only way that could happen now is if it were to creep up from my back!
Damian Wilde
77 Posted 05/06/2017 at 23:55:51
John Daley and Eugene Ruin - two of the biggest weirdos ever. Surely the same person.

What next boys, a reply in BOLD and a Link !!!

John Daley
78 Posted 06/06/2017 at 12:59:50
Damian (doesn't "bang on") Wilde:

"John Daley and Eugene Ruin - two of the biggest weirdos ever. Surely the same person."

Damian Wilde, again:

"John Daley are you Eugene in disguise?Links, statements in bold and occasionally strange posts... adds up!"

Damian Wilde, yet again:

"John Daley, where on earth does that stuff come from? Are you Eugene's brother?"

Damian Wilde, once more:

"John Daley, you are Eugene Ruane, right?"

Damian Wilde, whipping fuck out of a dead horse by this point:

"John Daley, are you Eugene's twin?"

Still, at least you're diversifying and bravely attempting to branch out beyond your default Barkley diatribe, Damian.

What prompted that I wonder?

Did you give Ross a Ronald Koeman style ultimatum?

Something along the lines of: "If you don't sign a new contract to carry on as the sole subject of my simplistic, sloppily constructed rants-- by the time I finish perfecting my uncanny impression of Union General John Sedgwick in his final moments-- then I'll have to bin you off and begin banging on about those two tossers on ToffeeWeb who think I'm nothing but a venting one-note nyaff, instead"?

Or did the online restraining order Ross took out just happen to kick in?


"What next boys, a reply in BOLD and aLink !!!"


Post #77 in video format:


Dan Davies
79 Posted 07/06/2017 at 01:52:11
Careful here now, John – your messing with a psychologist who's probably psychoanalysing every word... here's Johnny!

Hahaha gotta laugh though

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