Brett Angell

Brett Angell
Facts 
  • Position: Striker (?) 
  • Born: Marlborough, 20 August 1968 
  • Height: _'_" (__cm) 
  • Previous Clubs: Portsmouth, Cheltenham, Derby County, Stockport County, Southend 
    • League Apps 185 - Goals 75; Cup Apps 36 - Goals 22 
  • Joined Everton: September 1993 (500,000)  Everton Career Stats 
  • Debut: 
    • Sub: Everton 1-5 Norwich City -- 25 September 1993 
    • Full: Everton 6-2 Swindon Town -- 15 January 1994 
  • Honours: Err... None. 
  • Last Match: Queen's Park Rangers 2-3 Everton on 18 March 1995 
  • Left Everton: March 1995 (550,000) 
  • New Club: Sunderland 


Strengths: 

Weaknesses: 

  • None 
  • Too many to list 


When Everton bought Bret Angell from Southend for a cool half-million, the Liverpool Echo ran the painful headline 'Angell of Mersey'. It became prophetic only in the mercy it was to the fans when he was not in the team. The match chosen for his debut – albeit as a sub – seemed somehow fated: an embarrassing 5 - 1 home loss to Norwich City.

But Angell played very well in his full Everton debut against Swindon Town. From the first minute, he was flicking the ball to his team-mates in the true Graeme Sharp style. He even hit the bar and was desperately unlucky not to score. Surely his presence contributed a lot to a great 6 - 2 victory for Mike Walker's first match in charge.  

Brett Angell did actually score for Everton... Once!  Yes, his only ever goal came in the next home match, a 4 - 2 win over Chelsea.  The sensational 2-yard bumble was Brett's only significant contribution to Everton, apart from the sheer comedy he also provided as lasting memories for some dedicated fans:

The first and last time I ever saw Brett Angell play was against QPR at Loftus Road when Brett was making his comeback after a fairly long injury. Some comeback, booked after 2 minutes and substituted quite unsuprisingly at halftime.  Fittingly, it turned out to be the last match he played for the clubCraig Peirson

"Brett Angell's first touch is like a tackle." Dave Jones, Stockport manager

It was the derby in March 94 under Walker when we lost 2-1. Beagrie was the only player doing anything, and Angell was off crashing motorbikes or something, so we had no support on one attack.  The ball came to Cottee, who, with no other options knocked it to Brett. Brett, to be fair, also had no support, but his attempt to beat 3 Liverpool defenders with his subtle touch and flair was memorable.  Oh, how I did cry. Christ Marks

Brett Angell's performance against Leicester in 94 (1-1) still makes me laugh.  He was awful for the entire game, and then in the 89th minute he swivelled and half-volleyed the ball from all of 30 yards and it was heading straight for the bottom corner until the 'keeper saved. Weird!  

I only saw Brett on a handful of occasions and don't remember much beyond the fact that he was tall and rather lumbering.

Toffeenetter Martin Smith's contribution to this special Brett Angell Tribute is this rather unflattering poem penned by his brother, Chris:

ODE TO BRETT ANGELL

Oh Brett, oh Brett,
We will never forget.
Some called you a mule,
You always played like a fool.
Big strong and quick?
Your performances made me sick.

Howard Kendall took you on loan.
Even then your performances made me moan.
A six figure fee?
Barry Fry laughed with glee.
(Then again he signed Mark Ward,
A man whose useless performances we could ill afford).

An insult to Latchford and Dean,
You're not worth a bean.
Strikers are supposed to score goals.
You know, like Peter Withe and Stanley Bowles.
You find it easier to miss,
You're not worth the steam off my piss.

(c) Chris Smith 1994


Brett Angell -- Everton Career Statistics 
Season 
League
Apps(Sub) 
League
Goals 
Cup
Apps(Sub) 
Cup
Goals 
TOTAL
Apps(Sub) 
TOTAL
Goals 
1993-94 
13(3) 
-(-) 
13(3) 
1 
1994-95 
3(1) 
-(1) 
3(2) 
- 
Totals: 
16(4) 
1 
-(1) 
16(5) 
1 

Marko Poutiainen and Michael Kenrick