NICK ARMITAGE COLUMN
No Surprise There
Comments (5) : The expected muscle strain to Andy van der Meyde arrived right on cue. It is no surprise that Shandy Andy is going to miss the first month of the season, because he has missed the first month of every season he has been here. As soon as he gets on the bench, sometime in October, he will invariably go on to miss the next six months due to a combination of minor or major muscle strains and domestic and/or disciplinary incidents.
You can imagine this situation at Finch Farm as Baz knocks on Moyes? door.
?Come in?
?Alright boss, you busy??
?Er, not really no, I?m just watching some footage of Phil Neville crossing.?
?Fucking hell that must be old?
?It is, he?s twelve here.?
?Where did you get that from??
?Lancashire County Cricket Club, he was practising cross shots, you didn?t think I was talking about football did you? Anyway, what can I do for you??
?Shandy has got a strain again.?
?I thought I told him not to bother running.?
?He wasn?t running, apparently he said the clutch on this new Ferrari is a bit stiffer than his last two. Is it worth treating him??
?Have you got anything more important to do??
?Yeah, I?ve got to take the missus shopping, she wants new curtains for the bedroom.?
?That?s fine, just take £200 from petty cash, stuff it in his arse pocket and drop him at the Newz Bar on the way, he?ll have forgotten about this by four o?clock.?
?Same drill as usual then.?
?Aye.?
The funniest thing about the whole Shandy incident was that the Echo even bothered to report it; a van der Meyde injury is probably about as newsworthy as a pigeon shitting on your car. It is all par for the course, just like Everton?s perceived lack of summer time transfer activity.
I can?t believe some blues are up in arms proclaiming the club has ruined their summer for not signing x, y and z. Your house getting repossessed or your missus running of with your brother may well ruin your summer, but Everton biding their time in the transfer market is nothing new. The close season is the same every year. I?ll bet my bottom dollar that within the next fortnight the official site will tell us that having Tim Cahill back is like signing a new player, and Rafael Benitez will also do an interview in the Echo saying he thinks that this season Liverpool will win the league for sure. They are both as laughable as each other.
There have been very few moves of any note in this transfer window and quite often it takes a big one to start the ball rolling. And the long overdue departure of Andy Johnson could be that big one that does just that, and gets the ball rolling.
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However I must admit that there’s a bit of me that says "He’s 100% accurate, that IS what it’s like"
My favorite bit was ’Everton biding their time in the transfer market’.
Like a feller on Mastermind scoring 0 on his specialist subject, saying he did so deliberately to lull his opponents into a false sense of security for the general Knowledge round.
I?ve just seen the news about Wyness buggering off and was really worried. You?ve just restored my faith in what it is to be a Blue.
Thanks mate
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1 Posted 29/07/2008 at 09:11:28
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