Premier League — Matchweek 33

Direct and deliberate body check by Maddison on Gordon. But no yellow card... coz, well, he plays for Spurs.

And then he does an absolute swan dive, literally throwing himself to the ground, for the slightest handoff. But still no yellow card.

PGMOL corruption!

Two in ninety seconds for the skunks.

Gordon does really well to hold and keep a difficult ball forward, then feed Isak for a superb finish as Van der Ven (who had just been booked) slipped over.

There's one Skunk Maggot who moves more like a salmon!

Oh My Gawd... Gordon just scores after Van de Ven falls down again. Them Skunk Maggots are having a rather nasty orgasm!

The Premier League won't like Spurs losing.

How was that not a foul on Bentancur?

Bloody hell, Burn had his foot about ten feet in the air and caught Bentancur clean on the head.

Spurs deserve a points deduction for that kit.

What colour is that? Cold coffee? Hearing aid beige? Dreadful.

Gordon did not look anything like an ex-Everton player when he struck that goal. Put his foot right through it. Wham Bam!

They don't teach that at Finch Farm… more's the pity.

That was simple. 3-0

Spurs a Big club My Arse!

Why are Spurs messing about with it at the back? Don't they know there 3-0 down.

As always Rob!

Michael, it shows you what a player can do when in a better team.

Maddison should have been sent off now, because he definitely should have been booked in the first half. Booked for a foot up.

I agree with the comment about Spurs being a 'big club' my ass!

Also, I hate cheats, irrespective of who they play for, but bloody hell our former player Gordon is way up there in the playacting stakes. Horrid to watch and spoiling the game I love.

Oh dear "big club" Tottenham.

On a serious note, I feel for the their supporters. There are many steps to climb and it's a long trip back to London after a beating.

Been there myself.

Well, that didn't take City long, with help from Luton.

City 1-0.

Damn. Wolves letdown there.

Could do with Man City getting another. And killing this game off.

Wolves ahead!

That was a stunning solo effort. No hugs.

Wolves goalie should save that.

Agreed, that was poor with no obscured view.

Man City looking very lethargic in that first half, almost like they think 1-0 is enough. They have had 18 attempts at goal, with 6 on target, while Luton have had sweet FA. City will need another which will kill the game stone dead.

Probably score about three in the first 10 minutes of the second half before Pep rings the changes. I'm sure he would like this game putting to bed bearing in mind they have the second leg against Real Madrid on Tuesday night.

Anthony Gordon has certainly come on as footballer. But my god, his play-acting and rolling around is embarrassing.

Why isn't his dad having a word about it? It's cringeworthy.

He wasn't taught that at Finch Farm (or coached properly for that matter).

Forest ahead!

Can see it being one of those days where Luton stun City with a late double, lol!!!

Hope not…

That fucking Wolves midfielder just trotted behind the attack after not controlling a pass. He turned and gestured at the centre-back rather than get back.

Wolves level.

Hwang to score the winner later.

Olay I feel better. 2-2. Ugly goal.

Jose Sa is commanding his area.

Brentford winning 1-0 which is probably good for us.

They're at Luton next weekend so a win there would put them on 35 points and safe.

3rd May is the key one. Winner stays up between Luton v Everton.

Dingles 1 up

Luton have a diamond named Ross Barkley.

Good goal by Doku.

I've called him all afternoon saying how shite he's been, but that's a great goal. He's a bloody infuriating player to watch though.

Forest and Luton results looking good. We're still out of the Bottom 3 with two games in hand and superior goal difference.

Let's get points on the board at Chelsea and keep the pressure on.

Man City reserves put 5 past a piss-poor Luton team. Good job it wasn't City's full-strength team or it could have been embarrassing for Luton.

Out of the finishing eleven for City, I reckon three will probably play against Real Madrid in midweek.

Robert, a win against Chelsea could be the turning point for our club in every way.

Good results for Everton today.

UTFTs!

Two matches in hand on Luton and 8 goals better off. A point at Chelsea wouldn't be too shabby.

Dunc won 0-1 away and now out of the relegation (play-off) place.

Took over after 6 games with 1 point and gained 37 from 27 games – which would be almost good enough for a place in the playoffs.

3 games to go – could be tight as Queens Park play bottom club in one of them.

And yes, the Spurs Big Club "debate".

I have said it many a time...

Today, which is 23,007 days from (it will be 63 years on Wednesday) 17 April 1961 - when Spurs were last Champions… which is 23,007 days from 20 April 1898.

When Spurs and Chelsea start whining publicly about a top four ceiling, the Premier League might be embarrassed enough to reform.

We have no excuse for not surviving this miserable season with so many other results going in our favor.

Without the points deductions for financial reasons and not football, Everton would be well out of the bottom reaches.
Despite that, Everton's performances have been generally poor since December and it doesn't look that they can play any better than what we have seen.

With probably another tough game on Monday, it was nice to see Luton get thrashed and Forest drop 2 points with Palace due to get laced by Liverpool

Even if we only win one game, it could mean both Luton and Forest may need to win 2 of their remaining 5 games (depending on goal difference). That's a big ask for struggling teams.

Let's hope we can get some points at Chelsea to start our own survival bid and hope Masters doesn't seek a goals deduction against us.

It's all very well bashing Spurs; they got trounced by the Skunks, the other big wannabees who get lambasted and lampooned on here week-in and week-out. It was a no win game for us!

I'm dreaming of Dom Solanke in blue, but he's out of our league and budget. What the fuck have we become?

And in other shite news, 1-1.

Get in, Pat's lad!

Pete - the only issue is that they both have to play us. It would be great to win one of those 2 games. A win and a draw would be even better and 2 wins in those 2 games would be safety.

But it's Everton we are talking about so expect it to go down to the wire!

Bournemouth playing some great stuff. Wish we could get Areola.

We would see a totally different d style of football with the same players.

It's come to something when we drool looking at Bournemouth. But Jay is right: Senesi, Areola, Kluivert, and, of course, Dom Solanke would improve us so greatly.

They have a well-drilled defence and a coach who lost his first seven and is well worth keeping an eye on.

Crap, Man Utd penalty… And the rat scores.

Bournemouth have bought players with pace and goals. We haven't. That's the difference, not the coach.

Well said, that sexagenarian!

I like Iraola, Paul. He would be on my list at the moment if Dyche walks, although I don't see that happening. Iraola and his type would be within our budget.

I respect Dyche, Paul, but while he is with us it will mean that we are in deep waters. I am already in near panic mode thinking about summer and next season. I fear administration that will be down to Kenwright, Moshiri, and the shite board members they appointed.

Loving hearing this Cherries supporter screaming "Wanker!" at the ref, must be sixty or seventy times now!

Add Bournemouth to Brighton as clubs who operate sensibly - and play some decent stuff (with squads of players not that much better than ours – though much pacier).

The three 'B's' Mike, finished off with the Bees: Brentford, Brighton, Bournemouth.

If our club had been run over the last decade half as well as any of these three – erm, 'small clubs' – we would be nowhere near the position we are in now.

Well spotted, Paul. I overlooked my local club Brentford who do belong on that list.

I like Iraola too, Paul ,and respect the Bournemouth owner for backing his man when he started the season badly.

I can't see the point in us willingly changing manager until we're in a position to invest significantly in players.

The summer will be interesting, as no doubt Onana and Branthwaite will depart. Much will depend on how much of that we can spend and who we can attract.

And if the club gets sold, Paul, who buys it? Will some sort of new agreement be drawn up where we relinquish full ownership of the new stadium, if all this loan fog clears up etc?

It's truly frightening and there is a realistic scenario where we end up in administration, mate. There is another realistic scenario where 777 Partners take us over and we slump to an even worse situation (however, I don't think that they will meet all the necessary requirements).

Yet another less realistic scenario, and the best one, is that another buyer steps in with the necessary money and ability to run a football club well.

This is the worst time of my life supporting us. I hate it!

Grab something at Chelsea on Monday.

Brentford, Luton, Sheffield United.

Anything can happen in a derby.

I keep saying. We can do this.

Brentford winning was not a good result for us, contrary to whats' been said in the thread.

We wanted a draw or a defeat for them, Sheffield Utd are with the dead men, there's no way back for them.

Danny, recent history does not really suggest that anything can happen in a derby! Apart from the Covid derby, it might well be the most predictable game in the Premier League:

Chelsea A: D
Forest H: W
Shite H: D/L
Brentford H: D
Luton A: D/W
Sheff Utd H: W
Arsenal A: L

We stay up.

And then the real problems start as we move into the summer.

We can do them, Paul, as Atalanta demonstrated! No fear.

We stay up.

Keep going, Paul. I'm just thinking about what is in front of us. The rest can wait.

Brentford winning is largely irrelevant. We just need to stay ahead of one of Luton or Forest.

Pete Clarke @48 is right that for both clubs to stay up they may (probably?) have to win 2 of their remaining 5 games. One of them may do it but both are very unlikely to.

Iraola has done a good job with a better squad than ours, a bigger budget and a much, much better set of players in wide / attacking positions.

I think Dyche would be doing much better with wing forwards Kluivert, Tavernier, Semenyo, Sinisterra and Ouattara at his disposal instead of the bargain bin options of Danjuma, Harrison and Young that he has to work with.

Two games in a hand, a free hit on Monday, go for a win, be adventurous and go for it.

We will still have a game in hand, let's have a Brighton away moment and have a go while the opportunity is there before the window of opportunity closes.

Be brave.

Loved the Atalanta result Danny. Bingo gums put a good team out. What was that: "treble, treble, we wanna treble and we want one now", and then it became two, and then it became one, and then it became…

Fuck yes. Worked that right side since kickoff and just waited and waited before angling in for the pass. 0-1

Jeez almost 2!

Why the fuck can't we play like this when we go to Anfield rather than sitting back, shitting ourselves?!?!

Palace are no better than us, overall, yet they've caused Liverpool more problems in the first 30 minutes than we have in our last 3 visits there!

I've watched one good result today: Ross County beating Rangers 3-2 so I'm not shredding my nerves watching that Liverpool game and waiting for Palace to hold on for another hour.

Mind you, a draw wouldn't be too much good for Liverpool.

Palace have pace and goalscorers. We have neither. We have a strong central defence.

When we had money, the managers and club steadfastly refused to buy these type of players. We're paying for this now.

Nothing in this regard will change until the financial situation allows us to recruit what we need, rather than what we can afford.

People seem to forget that Andoni Iraola was hired a few days before the season start! Meaning no pre-season with that team either!!

Paul, we had pace on the wings with Gray, Gordon, etc over the last few years but I don't remember us causing Liverpool so many problems.

Our problem isn't just lack of quality or money, it's the pathetic inferiority complex that we have almost every time we go there.

I'd fuckin love to see us do something like this to them at the cesspit.

Come you Eagles. Need a second here and then come on the Gunners!!

If Eagles do this, I'm not sure I need Arsenal to do anything.

You're right there, Lee. Even in the dark days of the '70s, we didn't beat them, but rarely got battered there, the games were often tight and we scrapped.

Right now, we have an alarming lack of pace and goal threat. That dictates the way we play. I'm not convinced these non-scoring players will find their shooting boots the moment we change coach.

Mateta for Palace reminds me a lot of Beto.
Anyone agree?

Anyone interested that if Palace lose this and we win tomorrow we go above them, they're run in is very tough too, personally I don't give a toss what the RS do.

DeClyned!

Okay, everyone place their hands over the mouths

Jones out Mateta's Mateta!

Although I want Palace to lose, I am enjoying Liverpool getting beat.

Nobody then. 😴

Jeff, spot on.

Jeff #79, good point and I agree, but somehow I still hope they hang on to win this.

Mitchell is a fine player.

How sad. And now a long, miserable trip home.

Well well well lol.

Did you mean a long miserable trip home back to Norway for them, Brent?

Exactly, Gerry.

My missus thinks I've gone bonkers for dancing around the living room.

Agree Dale, been impressed by him for quite a while.
Stand by for a day of mourning and a book of condolences.

The shite must have run out of the Nescafé Gold Blend

I suppose there is a god after all, just not looking down on us.

Nothing against Villa, Danny, but I hope Arsenal smash them.

Up here in Aberdeenshire, it appears to be all Man Utd fans – never realised how many but nearly every family with kids I know are Man Utd!!!!

Must have a lot to do with Alex Ferguson, and passed down to their kids I think...

Wel,l a good time to be coming home.

Only problem: stopping with my brother, who is a Liverpool supporter... I could end up stopping in his garage!

Bill, the garages in Norway are quite comfortable.

Woooo, no Jeff, I'm not bothered in the least about Palace virtually ending our friendly neighbours 'title hopes.

I'm more worried about us getting ahead of Luton and Forest because that means we will definitely be okay.

Rob

Arsenal have a hell of a run in: Villa, plus three major rivals Spurs, Chelsea and Man Utd. Boring as it is, I think Man City will win again despite 115 unpunished charges.

Keep believing, Rob H, because the stars are going to shine on us eventually.

Sometimes we don't need a skipping rope… to skip! 😂

Man City win the league, Liverpool come second… Premier league finally decide to dock points from City.

Wouldn't put it past them!!

Oh pure 100 per cent unadulterated joy. Just woken up. What a wonderful way to wake up. Bingo gums 0-1. Pure joy!

Kieran, I don't really care who wins league as long as it's not the shite. I want Arsenal to win just to put a bit of a gap between them and the RS. Three points and a far superior goal difference is two games as far as the RS are concerned.

Tony, I always believe. Football is a game played between two teams consisting of eleven men. There is no numerical advantage at the start of play. What happens after that, who knows, but I always go into a game believing we can get something.

Stayed off all avenues that could give me the score from Anfield ‘til now, what a lovely surprise.

Not helping themselves are they, sincerely hope they keep this form up for the rest of the season.

Than you for the information, Gerry, you must have stopped there. My Brother actually lives in Liverpool.

What makes it better is one of the weeks I am home Everton play Forest, Liverpool and Brentford, hoping for a 100% week and if that happens, I don't think I will need a plane as I will be flying.

And Rangers lost to fecking Ross County. Double joy.

The two most evil teams in the world see titles slipping away. Slippy is the common denominator.

You're right Gerry, last time I went to Goodison, it coincided with a job in Runcorn. I flew down from Aberdeen and the plane was full of Man Utd fans going to a Champions League game.

Given our demise, the only pleasure I get from football nowadays is hearing about the Liverpool hot air balloon crash landing.

I know it shouldn't be like that but I cant help it, I absolutely loathe the club and the sanctimonious, attention seeking gimps who follow.

Thank you, Palace

Barry totally agree, except for saying you shouldn't do that. You should! Fuck them. Shower of bastards. 🦅

I've had a thought I'm not getting too excited, because even if they don't win the league and blow Europa, they still won a trophy this season. I'm a miserable old bugger I know, but Everton success since 1995 kinda puts things into perspective about why I never gloat.

Any team with Sean Dyche as manager that plays the low scoring slow football we witness needs to keep a low profile.

Many of us live amongst a lot of none match going Liverpudlians, Joe, and it's these people who gloat the most.

Quietly does it, until it's impossible for them to win another trophy, and this time next week, things will hopefully be a lot clearer as we get ready to play those bitter bastards (don't let them kid us) from across the park.

Question: If the good Lord gave you a choice, Everton win the Premier League next season or Liverpool get relegated, what would make you happiest?

(No, you can't have both!)

Easy. We win league

Edward that's not a difficult one - we win the league of course!
I might detest those cnuts but not as much as I love us.

Villa hit the woodwork again - bar and post this time

Tony. Its full of them where I live and that's 20 miles north of Manchester!

Paul, Mark, agreed, Everton come first. I shouldn't let them get to me as much as they do, the older I get, the more I detest them.

Taking White off was weird, Arsenal don't look anywhere near as good on the right. We need them to score.

That's a very hard question, Edward.

I'm aware that love is a lot stronger than hate and, as much as I love Everton, I can also feel the absolute unadulterated joy just imagining watching the faces of the Devil's Disciples if he ever let them down.

I think I would go with Everton winning the league because nobody has won the league in three different centuries and that would definitely be something to put into the pipe of the modern day Premier League because it's obvious they would love to smoke us.

Villa ahead.

Oh shite!

Wow 0-2

2-0. Game over.

What a finish!

Good thing is, Spurs “Big club my arse” hopefully won't get top four, but it sounds like fifth place may get Champions League anyway.

Dracula's revenge, a double shot.

Man City back in the driving seat.

As long as we're safe and Arsenal out of it by the last game.

I wouldn't want to go there having to win and they're still in with a shout.

Yeah Paul, but the Skunk Maggots won't get Champions League.

Nice weekend for Man City.

John @154 my thoughts exactly. I want Lego-Head to be out of it by the time we play them.

We don't get respite for very long do we? Two defeats today for the title challengers and Man City have got a defeat in them and still in the Champions League, which won't help them, so it's far from over yet who wins the Premier League.

Judging by the number of empty seats in the final few minutes, many Arsenal supporters did not believe their team could get back in the game. That sends a message to both teams, eroding the confidence of the home team while strengthening that of the away team.

The bigger the club, the more fickle the fans tend to be.

Could have done with Arsenal winning to keep Man City on their toes. Pep will be rubbing his hands at the easier run-in but the distraction of the Champions League could see him playing silly buggers with team selection in the Premier League with calamitous consequences.

The snakes next door will slither through any opening, given the opportunity, and the idea of them rising from the dead as per Lazarus doesn't bear thinking about

Barry, by the time the Derby comes up, their fans will be that deflated, the usual jovial will have gone out of them.

Going out of the cup to Utd hurt, the 3 nil thrashing against Atlanta and that defeat today, they are on the ropes mate, throw in Klippity leaving as well

What an opportunity to right all those years of taunts of us sticking the boot in and ending their title dreams.

Goodison will be rocking

Whoa... they have two dodgy games and we are writing the season obituary for that lot? I don't think so.

If any team can come roaring back it's them. I fully expect them to win 4 -1 on Thursday and it goes to penalties – we know how that ends. That said, Leverkusen will do them in the final.

As for the League... I fear Man City may slip up with a draw or two somewhere. Arsenal are done.

Brian Wilkinson,

Klipperty could bring out the 1986 FA Cup Final team and they'd still beat the shit out of Everton

Neither the team, the players, nor the manager have the balls to take advantage of 10 men of the mighty Burnley — let alone a deflated RS team.

Brentford and Palace winning has probably put them out of our reach, they were looking like they could get dragged into the dog fight we are in.

I couldn't really give a fig about what's happening at the top.
Well that's not quite true, I want Man City to finish in front of the other two.

Brian @163,

I pray you're right but, if they get a good result against Fulham (almost guaranteed), they will believe. Satanic rituals will be invoked at Anfield and Goodison will be considered the usual stepping stone along a relatively easy run in.

I just don't trust Man City and the incredulous LFC movie has played far too often in my lifetime to be ignored (never watched any of it mind)

Raymond #66

"Brentford and Palace winning has probably put them out of our reach, they were looking like they could get dragged into the dog fight we are in."

I suspect you might be right, Raymond. But we've seen so many twists and turns, even in the space of a week or two, that I wouldn't be surprised if Palace, and even more so Brentford, are still in the mix in the final week.

Funny team Fulham, that's not a gime for sure away Barry.

As for ourselves, two games in hand, perfect chance to have a go at chelsea, have a go at trying to get three points on a free hit.

Brian, that is the way I see it too. Chelsea have been very hit and miss this season and this game is an opportunity.

COYB believe, we can do this

I know it's not Dyche's style, but this game I feel really does call for a 2-man attack, given Chelsea's defensive frailties.

That or at least, more likely, rapid transition from defence to attack through a controlled passing game.

Brent #168,

Of course anything can happen but Brentford and Crystal Palace are 6 points clear of the relegation places with only 6 games to go.

They won't be dragged in unfortunately.

Brendan, probably right.

It's down to 3 now:

Us, Luton and Forest.

Tomorrow, Everton will turn up and beat Chelsea fair and square.

Next, regardless, we as Evertonians around the World in this life and the after life we stick together.

Chelsea have a cup semi-final soon so hopefully have their minds elsewhere.

A jammy 1-0 would do me.

Just watching MOTD2 with the subtitles on.

Apparently Klopp said “You could see an erection out there….”
🫣

That Iwobi lad at Fulham looks decent… 😳

Mark #178, much like that Simon Davies chap they used to have playing for them!

I actually liked Iwobi.

He used to confuse me, his own players and the opposition as none of us realised or knew what he was going to do. But he was always trying to make things happen!!

As for Simon Davies, I had a soft spot for him. Probably as I was based in Haverfordwest for 4 years, where he was born. As a youth, he played for a local village team, Solva, on a sloping pitch.

If you ever visit Pembrokeshire, be sure to go to Solva. A beautiful harbour village on the coastal path.

Touché, Eric!

But I counter with Ademola Lookman. He is one I wish we'd persevered with (as well as Deulofeu).

well keeping an eye on Palmer never worked but that was some goal that he scored

Brian @183,

I totally hate the people who are "ruining" running our game.
FA is an apt description for these people.

I know the FA Cup was a totally different animal when I was young. Even so, what we had left has now been trampled into the ground by those looking to creep to our pals in the Premier League "elite".

I feel very sad that non- and lower-league clubs are being kicked in the teeth again. I'm falling out of love with the Premier League. Greedy so-and-sos.

Hats off to the Bayern Munich fans for berating Uefa.