• 31st:  Just one card from yesterday's embarrassment, so the Badboys situation is, er, "stable", with three suspended for our next match, at Derby, in front of Sky TV... Arrrrgh!!!
• January 30th:  A critical relegation dogfight goes against Everton as basement club Nottingham Forest win their first game in 5 months. The score: 0-1 at Goodison Park. The goal: Pierre van Hooijdonk, in from the cold. 
• 29th:  Walter Smith should have Richard Dunne, Dave Watson, Olivier Dacourt, and Ibrahima Bakayoko available again, but rumours say he will play only one of these stars from the start.
• 28th:  By some miracle, the Spenno deal is suddenly back on and completed, with John Spencer joining Motherwell for an "undisclosed fee", later acknowledged to be £500k. That means someone backed down; the question is: Who?
• 27th:  The match at Aston Villa for Everton Reserves is postponed to 7 February.
• 26th:  Motherwell can't close the deal on want-away striker John Spencer when Everton refuse to budge from their knock-down price after his 3-month loan spell ends.  Meanwhile, Everton Youth end up with a tough 1-1 draw against Swindon Town in the 4th Round of the FA Youth Cup.
• January 25th: In a moment of madness, Danny Cadamarteri blurts out on the radio that Everton's indiscipline is by order of the tenacious Walter Smith!  Meanwhile, the injury crisis deepens as Slaven Bilic's team of doctors decide to operate on his hip; he could now miss the rest of the season.
• 24th:  Three Everton Badboys will now be suspended for the next Sky TV embarrassment, away to Derby County: Cadamarteri, Cleland, and Materazzi – whose second red card means he also misses the FA Cup 5th Round tie, at home to Coventry City. Meanwhile, Everton Ladies stride forward to the Women's League Cup Final, beating Tranmere 2-1 in the semi-final. And Ibrahima Bakayoko helps Ivory Coast to a 3-0 win over Namibia in the African Nations Cup.
• 23rd:  In the 4th Round home tie of the FA Cup, Barmby slotted the ball home after 38 mins to give Everton a deserved 1-0 victory over a dirty bunch of cheats from Ipswich Town. Their cynical tactics got Materazzi sent off after 46 mins, and Alex Cleland got his calf muscle torn – he'll be out for at least 6 weeks!
• 22nd:  Everton go into their FA Cup 4th Round tie against Ipswich Town without star non-striker Ibrahima Bakayoko, who is off with the Ivory Coast team playing in the African Nations Cup, and without Olivier Dacourt, who is suspended. Meanwhile, the quacks are lining up to probe the nether regions of Slaven Bilic in an effort to identify his mystery injury that hops from groin to hip and back again.
• 21st:  Southampton Manager and ex-Everton player, Dave Jones, has revealed that Peter Johnson offered him the Poisoned Chalice which sits atop the manager's desk at Goodison Park.  But Jones turned it down saying he still had work to do down at The Dell.
• January 20th:  Questionable media reports claim that Everton have slapped a £1M price-tag on wayward striker John Spencer.
• 19th:  Badboy Alex Cleland's stupid double-yellow card means he will miss Everton's next Sky Special away at Derby County. Everton's Reserve match against Nottingham Forest was postponed due to a water-logged pitch.
• 18th:  Everton just can't win. Cleland is dismissed after just 10 mins against Aston Villa. The team defend doggedly but end up losing 3-0 to a very poor opposition side. It just ain't fair! 
• 17th:  Unsworth is suspended and Bilic, Collins, & Short are out injured for the trip to Aston Villa tomorrow. Materazzi is back, but three others – Hutchison, Cadamarteri & Ball – are perched precariously on seven yellow cards.
• 16th: While Liverpool score 7 and Man Utd 6, Everton are considering pushing Don Hutchison forward in an effort to hoodwink those Villa boys... Welcome to the Twilight Zone!
• January 15th: Joe Parkinson has reportedly been told that the cartilage inserted into his knee has taken and is now filling the injured joint. If all goes well, he could resume full training by August.
• 14th:  Peter Johnson apparently thinks the furore over his handing of the Duncan Ferguson debacle has now died down, and he is even thinking about attending matches again! Slaven Bilic will have exploratory surgery in a bid to find out whether his current groin strain is linked to the pelvic injury he sustained in the World Cup and which forced him to miss the first four months of the season.
• 13th: Walter Smith has approached Steve Bruce at Sheffield United with a view to bringing back striker Graham Stuart, probably in a player exchange. Billy Kenwright has reportedly offered Smith a cool £5M for him to buy a new striker.
• 12th:  Tommy Myhre is the Premiership's leading clean-sheet keeper, with 11 so far this season. John Ebbrell, now with Sheffield United, has been forced to retire from the game due to a chronic ankle injury.
• 11th:  Joe Parkinson is in Sweden for yet another verdict on his dodgy knee... let's face it: he's crocked.
• January 10th: Just one yellow card yesterday, but it was Badboy Ollie's 8th. He misses the FA Cup tie with Ipswich Town. Everton, along with Blackburn, Derby and Chelsea – but not media-darling glamour Champions Arsenal – have reportedly been sent letters by the FA, warning them about their poor disciplinary records.
• 9th:  Everton, without Marco Materazzi, who is suspended (and still injured), drift to yet another 0-0 draw (the 7th at home out of 11 matches!) against Leicester City in the increasingly poor FA Carling Premiership. Meanwhile, Mikael Madar thumbed his Gallic nose at Walter Smith by scoring on his debut for Paris St Germain...Quelle domage!
• 8th: Everton trumpet the demoralizing news that there will be no expensive new transfers in to Goodison Park before the end of the season...  Money is as tight as ever, and we are amazingly being told the Everton Squad is "too big" – 35 players is NOT big enough!
• 7th:  Walter Smith has brought young Italian Giuseppe Fratelli over from Serie B side Torino for a week's trial.
• 6th:  At Goodison Park, Everton's Youth destroy Manchester United 4-0 in the FA Youth Cup 2nd Round replay.
• January 5th:  Everton reserves enjoy a good journey to Preston North End, winning 2-0 with goals from Branch and Jevons.
• 4th:  In the draw for the 4th Round of the FA Cup, Everton are the penultimate ball out of the bag and they will face Ipswich Town at Goodison. 
• 3rd:  Badboy David Unsworth's yellow card yesterday was his eighth of the season.  He will miss the match at Aston Villa on the 18th.
• 2nd:  Everton's 1999 FA Cup campaign kicks off with a nervy 3rd Round tie at Bristol City which is not settled until the last 5 mins, when Bakayoko comes up with a brace, including a 25-yd screamer from a free-kick.
• January 1st:  Not such a Happy New Year, with the news that Marco Materazzi is definitely out of tomorrow's vital FA Cup tie. He is suffering with an injured shoulder. Craig Short is also out, and Ibrahima Bakayoko is rated as "doubtful", but Dave Watson should be back, and John Collins may play his last match before surgery.

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