Sean Dyche's pre-Arsenal Press-Conference

A few things can‘t be known until the sale goes through. I imagine Calvert-Lewin, if he has any intention of staying, will wait until the ownership is sorted as well as getting an idea on who the manager will be going forward. That goes for any other player whose contract is up next year.

TFG are going to have to make some sort of manager announcement soon after the sale goes through, if only to be able to sign players in January, whether that's a change or backing Dyche.

Next week could be quite big – if the announcement is tomorrow, no idea what effect that will have on the players before the game.

I'm not expecting a result anyway – I predict a comfortable 3-0 win for Arsenal.

Here's hoping for all three points so he can blow smoke up his own arse.

Quicker he's gone the better for me!

Having said that, I doubt we will go to The Emirates and come away with, at best, 1 point, which would be an improvement for us. Good luck, lads.

Usual comment from me. Get rid of him. Don't delay – make it one of your first jobs before it is too late.

Pl 31 W2 D2 L27!

History's not on our side, I‘m afraid. Stranger things have happened though – Beto could dribble round 5 players and stick it in the top corner.

Wins were 2021 and 1996, fyi. (For those pining for Moyes‘ return, his recorded was D3 L8 against Arsenal, including a special 7-0 pasting in 2005.)

"Most of the squad is fit, and so we aim to take the game to Arsenal, and give an outstanding display, of bright, expansive, attacking football" … or not.

Maybe a better manager would get a better tune out of that team, but honestly, Arsenal have invested heavily over 5 years in that squad, they are superior in virtually every position. Dyche knows he's dust, either in the next month, or at the season's end.

I'm not defending him, but let's be realistic about the likely responses he's going to give in his presser, instead of constantly sniping.

That drubbing was very much in the "after the Lord Mayor's Show" style!

I can understand you “fear” a drubbing – I just don't get why you, or any others, feel the need to share that?

If we were doing a score prediction thread, then fair enough, but you just tacked that on the end of an otherwise decent post.

As I'm writing this, I just got the pop-up from the members' site for predicting the score at Arsenal… talk about spooky!

I'm not going to predict a defeat – I can't bring myself to do that – nor can I predict a win as God hates me and I'll put the mockers on it!

By the way, I was at that 7-0 shambles and I was thoroughly disgusted and ashamed. The poor gunner who tried to reason that we'd still had a great season got short shrift and told to stop patronising me!

I'll just end with…

Up The Fucking Toffees!

We have got to be on it for the full 95 minutes.

Absolutely spot on Mark. It's unbelievable!!!

Then you sometimes have, after the game, the same characters coming back on saying something along the lines of see I told you so.

I'm not really a betting man myself but I would never, ever bet on Everton to lose, I couldn't give a shit whether it's spreading the risk or whatever.

Mark, see you and others tomorrow. It should be another good away day out.

Dear God, Harrison has to find 'moments'! How does Private Eye not have a Dycheballs column? Harrison needs to find the net not moments. Drive him to the Rocket, and make. him hitch back to Leeds in January.

We simply cannot afford to sit deep with our 'wingers' a few feet ahead of our full-backs. Broja should get at least half-an-hour. That's minute '60 Mr. Dyche. If Doucoure is to start, then he must be told to make forward runs. McNeil out wide; Iliman inside.

By the way, what about a loan move for Dewsbury-Hall. He never gets minutes for Chelsea, apart from today when - possibly embarrassingly - he started in Chelsea's youth team v Astana.

His press conference didn't tell me a lot. Other than that irritating comment he uses "on the grass".

Agreed again mate, laughing as I type this but a plastic no mark, not even a football fan but bloody rugby was saying how lucky I was that the derby had been called off as we would have got battered.

I reminded him that he was a twat and that The Shite had only won 2 out of the last 10 derbies at Goodison in the last 10 years, but mainly that he was a twat. That was my girlfriend’s Mums partner.

I never think we will lose and as a result have been disappointed so many times but I don’t give a shit.

0-1

UTFT COYB

On saying that – it's hardly a secret ploy and they don't seem to mix it up much so hopefully Mr Dyche, being a masterclass technical genius, will have worked out a plan.

If I was in charge, I'd get 5 of our midfielders and forwards to form a wall with linked arms facing the Arsenal players to block their run in and have our tallest, best headers of the ball, waiting for the ball over their heads. Simply standing in position and letting them run in unopposed is suicidal, especially as we don't have a keeper who commands on crosses.

I told them it's better than their shithole which is why we left Anfield in the first place and anyway, they will probably move in once we go to the Banks of the Royal Blue Mersey.

Then I reminded them what happened last time they were odds on to batter us. The soft twats.

I‘m obviously hoping we somehow get something out of the game but the fact is they have a much better team and we‘re crap. They are genuine title contenders, playing well and we‘re trying to crawl away from the drop zone, and it's away. Big hill to climb. If we were playing well, I'd have more hope, Wolves result aside.

Bookies rarely wrong – Arsenal 1/4 on for a win…..

In saying that, hopefully their midweek game levels the field a bit as well as having most of our walking wounded back. However, I would be happily amazed if we get anything out of the game. It‘s not a happy hunting ground for us.

Must've been hard saying all that in Norwegian!

I wonder what 'gobshite' in Norwegian is?

What the feck is wrong with you?

Are you trying to say they are 'genuine title contenders', and we aren't?

There's still half a season to go yet.

That's why I always say we will win plus it seems to really annoy the plastics when you seem uber confident as if you know something they don't.

We are not now, will never be this season, nor the one after that, 'genuine title contenders'. Some people seem to think that Friedkin will wave his magic wand and -– abracadabra – "We're up for the league and we're up for the cup, Everton's on the up and up!"

We move down to the riverside next season, kick-off for the first time (McNeil back to Pickford, tap right to Young, cross ball to Doucoure), and "We're up for the league and we're up for the cup, Everton's on the up and up!!!"

Denis "thinking" we'll lose is one thing, putting it in print on TW is something else.

If you don't see an issue with it............

It's like waiting for the result of a medical test and turning to your family and saying "Gonna be bad news this."

They live in a world mate where Leicester City never won the Premier League.

It may be realistic yeh but who wants to fucking hear it?
Imagine getting into the car after your wedding ceremony and saying to your new Mrs "By the way you do realise that statistically there's a 40% chance this marriage will fail, you know?"

Trap, shut!

"McNeil back to Pickford, tap to Young, cross to Doucoure..." surely that's Barcelonaesque…

Whatever happened to "back to Pickford to lump it to a heavily marked Calvert-Lewin"?😤

Bet nobody predicted we would do anything in the foreseeable future when we went to Stoke City in the 3rd Round of the FA Cup 1984.

She had already done her own research mate, long before wedding bells, and found the necessary documents with the help of solicitors Dyche, Woan, and Stone Inc to make sure that she gets the better part of the divorce carve-up.

Seamus right back.

Denis, I'm still trying to work out how Moyes drew 3 of the above record?

I knew that we would win the cup when Andy G got his head-poke pea-roller goal at County, where there was great fun to be had watching the lads climbing the floodlights in pissing rain, getting covered in paint.

I forgot about Seamus's 2-year extension next June.

I never go into a football match thinking we can't win or get something, whoever we are playing.

What I do know, is I'll have a good day out amongst friends on Saturday.

Any manager with such a strong squad comprised of world class players who are the envy of the league should be grateful for what he has got, no?

I often wondered that myself actually. Seems like yesterday to me.

Maybe an each-way double? Odds will be very attractive.

Re the Arsenal corner routine from which they've well outscored all others this season; I just read that whoever they were playing in Europe this week (sorry, can't remember who), stopped them from scoring from corners all game by having 3 lined up on the half-way line and therefore dragging some of their big defenders out of the box.

Wasn't it Leicester that first did that with Vardy & Co, scoring from multiple breakaways? Arsenal still cruised to a 3-nil win mind.

One of them arrived wearing a big red coat and, being the good husband of the host, I asked if I could take her coat? She said it wouldn't suit me and I said, you're right, it's too red for me! And she got the hump.

My missus later had a go at me for insulting her friend's favourite coat…

Mad, the lot of 'em! Must be weird on Venus!

I've wondered about that so often myself. The best way for Calvert-Lewin (although perhaps someone with more pace might be better; but Dom holds up the ball well) to defend a corner is to stand one inch from the half-way line in our half. That takes Gabriel or Saliba and one other out of the box.

Didn't teams do this back in the day?

"Must of been hard saying all that in Norwegian, Mark. I wonder what 'gobshite' in Norwegian is?"

I dunno, but the old Bluekipper site used to run a series of what's "red shite" in various languages... most entertaining, and handy if you happened to meet a foreign one on holiday!

No doubt, given time, he'll be here!

For me, it all comes back to knowing we had this run of fixtures and understanding how vital the prior generous run of fixtures was.

I don't judge Dyche on these games. He's under-resourced for these fixtures. I judge him on the games that we should have had a go in and didn't.

As always, we'll support the team in the hope that something memorable will happen. COYB.

When I saw the 3 on the half-way line, against a smallish team next time out, I tried it. My two fast-as-hell wingbacks on the half-way line, and I told the #9 to bust his guts up the pitch as soon as we got the ball.

We won 3-nil. Worked at that level at least.

Imagine predicting a 4-0 loss.

Some people.

Why not just go to the bookies, have a bet on the score, then have a party to celebrate? Enjoy it, but resist the temptation to come on and remind us that you called it.

It's not as if there is a prize at the end of the season for the person who has accumulated the most points per prediction. It's simply a bit of fun, but for some reason he seems to do nothing but predict an Everton loss most weeks.

Brilliant mate!

Too fucking true mate, it was Croatia and Cyprus this year, the disease is everywhere. I'm going prepped next year with official translations of gobshites for every country I visit.

I meant to say 'peri-menopausal'.

Still psychotic though…

The dish you lot call Scouse and us wools call Lobbies (or Lobscouse if you're posh) is spelt Labskaus over there. So I'm guessing the word is Gabshyte. (Mouth shit is 'mund lort'… is that close enough?)

(Note, the “a” in Labskaus has a funny inflection over it and it's pronounced 'Lob'.)

I think where we will stuggle is on the flanks, particularly on the right Saka up against Mykolenko. That's a difficult battle.

Put Mangala on Ødegaard and don't let him pick out those passes.

"First time I've ever seen the word 'peri-menstrual' on TW."

Well, Picasso had a Blue Period! :-)

If you want to score Set Pieces you have to attack the ball.
If you want to defend Set Pieces you have to attack the ball

Set Pieces? You can't handle our Set pieces!

Mind you they have a Plan B - they can also play football

He'll be more concerned about a 1-0 defeat against Forest than he will be about a 5-0 defeat against Arsenal. This is what worries me.

Our squad has it in them to perform even against the better teams, if we're less passive and withdrawn against the likes of Arsenal, there's something in the game for us, they'll leave a lot of space to get in behind them.

But again, I think he's already told the players that losses in the next three games is okay.

Man's a born loser and likes to manage expectation more than Moyes ever did.

All I'm asking for is effort & commitment, if we lose fair enough. It's the way they roll over and die like they did againd Man United which pisses me off.

”Unfortunately, I'm right most weeks".

Predicting likely defeats against the bookies' odds-on favourites doesn't make you right, as you're always so quick to point out. It just means you give up before a ball is kicked.

You came on here before the Wolves game predicting we would not get a win in December, so you are already wrong for the rest of the month.

Have another go in the New Year, mate.

You live in the States, don't you, Paul? So you've probably never seen the lunchtime chat show hosted by such caterwauling harpies as Janet Street Porter, Linda Robson, Denise Welsh, Coleen Nolan, et al?
You're lucky mate.

But you'd understand if you had.

If people want to say they genuinely think we're in for a beating and don't abuse posters while saying it, what's the problem?

Weird as.

I will most happily eat a very large dose of humble pie when we win 3-0 (Beto hat-trick).

Hope that settles it. :-)

Failing that, I'll just take the takeover being announced.

You're a very good blue now Denis!

But 3-0??? Are you on drugs??? Xxx

The odds also say that while we can win for sure there is more chance of not doing so and the more "realistic", shall I say, can also be correct in being so.

I'm not of the view that it is damaging to have a more negative view on what the result may be as it has no effect on the result. It can be negative but that depends on the context.

Just some Blues giving their own opinion on what they consider to be boring, repetitive predictions of defeat against long odds on opponents. Not quite North Korea.

No disputing their right to, I just don't get why they want to?

Christmas is going to be shit this year, just wait and see! …
Nope, still don't get it.

We are more than capable of keeping a clean sheet tomorrow!

Said it before Mark and I'll say it again, mate.

You can't understand, you can only observe!

Sorry, Andy, I disagree.

People are having a go because they don't like to read what they're reading and let's not pretend the message isn't "pack it in".

And I bet I'm not alone in cringing when the "we'll do these" comments come rolling in given the evidence but people don't get berated for it. Why should another view be treated any differently?

However, if the general view is such opinion borders on traitorous we have the good fortune of having our own tower to execute the bastards.

Who needs the Tower of London when we have Rupert's Tower? — "Round them up! We'll teach 'em!"

I bow to no one in my glass half-empty approach, but I'm Pollyanna compared to some on here. Barry, there are very few "we'll do these" posters on here. But, fair play to you; we need contrary views and no one has censored you yet.

Upsets do happen and I would love one, but am I allowed to say I can't see one in this fixture?

I think "we'll do these".

I assume your comment is directed at me. I am not an ‘I told you so' person and no, I don't get any pleasure from Everton losing. I'd like nothing more than to be proven wrong in fact. I fancied us to beat Southampton and Brentford easily, so what do I know?

My prediction was simply based on us playing shit, being shit relative to the opposition, and playing away – which I assume most (if not all) would agree with. Saying I think we'll lose is just stating the obvious and being realistic (in my opinion), not defeatist. Of course there could be a surprise and that would be great. No one predicted the current Man City drop off and anything's possible.

And no, I don't bet against Everton, in fact, the last time I bet on us was at the quarterfinal stage to win the ‘95 FA Cup – I was very happy with that. However, I don't bet at all tbh but it's interesting to see the bookies' odds.

You've got every right to your opinion (goes the other way round too) but I'm a bit confused why stating the obvious causes so many people to get offended, but hey ho….

Fingers crossed for tomorrow in any case!

I think that Easter Sunday was the first time we met.

What a day and result that was, mate.

All opinion should be allowed as long as people are civil; why people take umbrage at mentioning we might get beat is a mystery. It's not like saying it makes it happen.

Or does it???? [*cue spooky music*…]

You've been civil and so, I think, have I. But I still don't get it. We'll agree to differ, shall we?

"Brain the size of a planet and you ask me to operate the lift door..."

Yes, the odds are stacked; yes, we lost 27 out of 29 there, but it's still 11 v 11 out there. Have some faith, some hope and pray for charity!

The 3,000 of us tucked into that corner will go in with our tails up.

As you say, it's 11 v 11. Anything can happen.

Oo-er!!

I didn't have a ticket. It was still a memorable experience. (Not for you!!!) The first night I experienced Scouse humour first hand. Hope all good with you, mate.

Softly softly does it.

All good here, hope we get to meet up again soon! 💙

Before every derby (actually every game!) I envisage nearly every possible outcome; therefore, nothing comes as a shock. Then, we go and win 1-0!!

I was amazed that night when I realised you'd come over just to meet fellow users of ToffeeWeb but you weren't going to the game but going home the next day, which was the Saturday, the Derby game was on the Sunday when Pickford made the huge cock-up.

There was a decent turnout that night and one fella joined the company sitting down by us not realising why we were all there but it turned out he was a good mate of a mate of me and Tony's and he was familiar with ToffeeWeb — Jimmy the Sailor. We had a good gab before he got off to go to Blobb's wine house not far away to have his last couple of large Aussie whites before he went home.

What a great night that was.

I would start Calvert-Lewin in this one and tell him to guard the near post at corners, and I would put Ndiaye on the half-way line and Doucoure and Mangala (the mangler) on the edge of our box so we could hit them on the counter.