Premier League – Week 16

Bit flukey for Brentford.

But they all count!

(Unless the VAR rules them out, of course!)

I like Brentford's manager / coach.

But a good example of a coach being set up to succeed at a well-run club.

We've heard of your admiration for those Germans, Danny.

Not travelling today? Reduced to watching on the small screen?

Great header that, Harry Kane made it look easy.

Not travelling Michael.

Trains, or lack of.

I gave my ticket away but will be watching.

Yea, I don't blame you.

Wow, how did that not go in for Spurs? They seem to want to win this!

Head injury to a Chelsea defender, defending a corner, and play stopped straight away.

Very similar to the head injury suffered by Tarkowski down at Bournemouth, but who were allowed to carry on and ultimately scored.

It was only little ole Everton though, so we can just play on anyway. Makes you fucking sick.

Chelsea now lead 2-0, by the way.

Quote of the night in my local:

"I don't really understand football but I support Chelsea."

Sigh…

Nearly as bad as "I think I know a bit about footy, but I support Everton"!

What a contradiction, Danny, but taking on your optimistic mantra, things are definitely going to get better, because the curse isn't going to last forever, I'm sure.

We failed to win a league game at Elland Road because of an alleged gypsy curse but I'm certain that gypsy wasn't an alleged Evertonian!

Break the fucking curse, Kenwright!

Young lad Garnacho catching the eye, looks a very talented player.

I hope so Tony.

This might also be a contradiction, but I'm firmly in two camps right now.

From a here-and-now tactical perspective, I desperately want Everton to pick up points and avoid the obvious.

But that doesn't distract from the other obvious and need for long overdue change at the top. It cannot and should not be allowed to continue.

Moshiri had an opportunity and will leave us with a new stadium. But he failed to bring in his own team. It's fine an owner wanting to own from afar, but put your own people in. Don't leave it to Coronation Street's own who had failed for many years before.

I'm not my usual optimistic self at the moment, but will pick myself up for the next match.

It's sad that I have to say this, but those 2 results yesterday went in our favour. As did Palace, West Ham and Villa on Boxing Day.

I know it irks, but still a lot to play for. I'm trying to split the tactical from the strategic.

I'm not sure Lampard is pragmatic enough, Danny, but he waited until the last minute before buying Maupay, even though the season had already started, and we were playing without a centre forward.

What was it Roy Keane said again?

Pains me to say after our performance, but if Man City get a result, we're still in the mix and can put the white flags away for now.

To be fair, Tony, I presume the last-minute signing of Maupay was a desperate move due to not being able to bring in who they really wanted and not wanting to exit the transfer window without having made a forward signing at all.

However, it could be argued that we may as well have relied on the youngsters instead of signing Maupay, and saved the pennies for this window instead.

Adam Forshaw starts for Leeds.

I knew his Dad. Kopite!!

Have Leeds been “manipulating” their pitch, Danny?

It looks well-knackered, and the ball seems to be rolling really slow. Also looks like a few brown patches down the middle of the pitch.

Rob.

We get near goal and we see enough brown patches coming out...

I think if it was a horse-racing track, we'd be calling it soft ground, Rob. The grass looks long and the turf cutting up.

Waiting for the Leeds manager's iWatch...

Danny,

Do you have a sworn legal statement from Forshaw's dad saying he is a Kopite? You know one poster will ask…

Maupay smacked of desperation, Dennis, but we couldn't have felt that desperate – otherwise, we would have surely signed a centre-forward earlier in the window!

Hopefully we don't wait long in January because things are definitely starting to feel desperate now.

It pains me to say this but Leeds are doing a pretty good job of stopping Man City from scoring. It would be great to think that we could do the same!

Despite thinking Marsch is a complete wanker, he has set Leeds up pretty well but Leeds are a quicker, sharper in thought and movement than our guys. They are trying to stop City as soon as they cross the halfway line whereas we will give them that area and try to stop them near our penalty area – which we all know won't work for 95 minutes.

Hope City find an answer and keep Leeds within our reach.

COYBs

ps: Grealish is pretty useless!

His step dad was a red, Kieran.

I don't know about Adam himself but I suspect he was red. He played in the same team as my sister's son at a very young age.

Drive forward. Keep going forward.

Sometimes it's that simple.

Grealish is City's Anthony Gordon. A good dribbler but really lacking in end product.

I watch City a lot (gotta see some decent footy) and Grealish really does flatter to deceive and a lot of the dribbles he does before passing 5 yards could be achieved by just passing 15 yards without the dribble.

I'm always waiting to see him do something really good in the end, but he rarely does.

David,

Grealish should have had a hat-trick already. It's not been a case of Leeds doing well, it's been a case of poor finishing by City.

From the very first few seconds, Haaland had a chance, right up to the last few seconds of the first half, and chance number 15, finally converted by Rodrigo.

David @22,

I can't believe Lampard never tried to build his style around the system he used against Man City at Goodison last season.

It was probably the best Everton have played under Frank, and only a very poor refereeing decision (inexplicably not changed by the VAR) probably stopped us from getting a deserved point.

We fought, dug in and battled for every ball; the only other game I can remember us doing this under Lampard was against Liverpool at Goodison this season.

I think they were desperate to make such a signing, Tony. Perhaps they even thought they had one in the bag but it fell through, hence Maupay in the end.

I may be giving them the benefit of the doubt and kidding myself that they'll remedy the situation in this window. Still, we won't have long to find out.

Just read that James Milner had a trial at Everton which got cancelled due to snow and after which, Everton never returned his calls, so age 16, he signed for Leeds and debuted a few months later.

Just imagine if we'd followed up and seen him and Rooney both breakthrough at 16? I know it's been asked before but... what goes on at Finch Farm?

Piss poor defending by Leeds ends with Haaland making it 2-0.

Fer fuck's sake, Jack, yer timings the shits, mate. 🤣🤣🤣

Well they were stopping them!

Hope City get a few more!

I think I almost dislike Leeds and Marsch as much as Liverpool and Klopp!

Go Ed, City!

Keep pretenders (Liverpool) at bay...

This week's results are turning out as good as we could have expected despite our attempt to make it Armageddon.

We're still in the fight. If we can fight.

Is it too early to cheer on some goal difference advantage?

I'm going to put a watch on so I can tap it relentlessly.

It doesn't matter how much I dislike Leeds at all... you've got to admire their supporters. What would our supporters be doing?

But that is matched by Leeds players who are still working as hard as when it was at 0-0.

I wonder if this Leed v City ref is being quite tolerant due to the fact they're playing on a spud field?

Haaland.

Unbelievable!

I wonder what planets he's from, Danny, coz he ain't human – that's for sure.

Is that Premier League goal number 20 for Haaland?

He'll probably hit 30 goals on Saturday…

I doubt it very much, Paul. I don't think any player has ever scored 10 goals in a Premier League game.

But, if you want to put a bet on it, then I'm all ears!!

20 goals in 14 appearances, more than our entire squad. Fucking embarrassing.

Tony @ 27,

Thanks for that and I'm glad someone else noticed. The same players but looking like a different team.

It wasn't just fighting and competing – there was so much movement, speed of passing, looking for space. This is what players can do when let off the leash.

Sounds crazy but every time we do this, whether as a one-off against a "Luvvie" or on the back of a run/series of good games, we then turn totally toothless, almost like we've been given The Word.

Just to make you feel better, Paul, it's also more than Chelsea, Crystal Palace, Aston Villa, Bournemouth, West Ham, Wolves, Forest and Southampton, while Man Utd have only scored three more than him.

So, if it's fucking embarrassing for us, then it's also fucking embarrassing for all those teams as well.

I reiterate my previous prediction for league goals this season, for Haaland: 39.

Anyone else want to guess?

David 22.

I don't know what game you've been watching, but it's definitely not the same as me.

City just passed it round them until they wore Leeds down. I'm dreading our next fixture, because they will pulverise us.

Rob,

I don't care about any other team.

We are still in this fight.

And the FA Cup.

There are teams worse than us. Clubs in similar positions.

Moyes's West Ham are toe to toe with us on points and goal difference.

4 or 5 points (less than 2 games) off mid-table.

I'm probably getting annoying again.

"Teams worse than us".

What a relief. How the mighty have fallen.

Danny 49, it's too late.

Of course we can stay up, but the likelihood is we'll go down now. There simply aren't enough winnable games left.

Danny # 51,

So if there's not enough winnable games for us, then there's not enough winnable games for the three teams below us either.

I'll stay in the minority then.

The mighty fell decades ago.

I am just following and supporting this team of ours right now.

We know the deep-rooted problems in the club but, come matchday, we want the team to win.

I can detach from the two.

"Fun Fact"...

Arsenal 5 points ahead of Man City. The biggest gap to a following team in the whole league, top to bottom.

Don't know what that says, but...

Rob.

See you at Old Trafford, Goodison and the London Stadium!

I'll guess he scores more than our entire team, Will. I know, way out on a limb with that one.

Forest, Saints and take your pick – there is more than enough reason to think we will get an unexpected result or two (to the upside). Not going down.

No, Paul, but don't make out like it's only us that Haaland is out-scoring. We are talking about nearly 50% of the Premier League that he's out-scoring.

Now that is fucking embarrassing.

Danny, we're all hoping (praying) and supporting. Just a stark realization of the realities, I guess.

How the hell did this happen to Everton?

Will #46,

With our new-found ability of being able to travel back and forth in time, I've just been into the future and Haaland ends up with 41 goals. 😁😁😁

Dale, you're right. The gap is staggering.

Was that by Tardis, Rob, or do you just snap your fingers for that?

Well, Rob – I was close...

The good lord only knows, Will.

Let's see what happens when we beat Brighton and something close to 10,000 Evertonians descend on Old Trafford next week.

The world and outlook could be very different.

I've got a DeLorean, Dale. It's a super fast one!

Well, it's actually a Ford, but don't tell anyone.

Saturday was a sickener but it's done. We need to reset and go again.

There are 22 games left, 22 for fuck's sake! No way are we giving up. Wolves were dire. Had we finished our chances, the game would have been won by half-time. Get a striker and more creative midfielder and we will be fine.

Leeds look very vulnerable at the back, Meslier kept them in it. So, that is another in the mix.

I think the one thing that we as fans cannot allow to happen in this situation is for the matchday atmosphere to get toxic. If that happens, we are in deep shit.

So, come on, boys and girls, get behind the team and manager, they need us once again.

Rob,

"Now that is fucking embarrassing. "

Got to give Haaland some credit: he's got to be the best finisher I have seen for as long as I can remember. He could hit 40 goals + this season in the best league in the world.

Every game is winnable.

We probably won't.... but you never know!

Rob, Danny and Phil,

At the moment, we have the worst inept rudderless squad. We desperately need two goalscorers in January as, even if fit, Calvert-Lewin isn't prolific. If we do somehow land two goal-getters, then (I feel) we will stay up.

Good chances have been created this season but not taken. Gordon being the worst culprit, he has cost us at least 7 points. Those 7 points would have made a hell of a difference to our current predicament and the mood of the club.

It's mad, Joe. We're hoping to win games without a goalscorer!

January is vital.

Forest, Leicester and Wolves at Goodison were must win, and we picked up a single point from nine available. We need seven more wins, and unless something changes, we're not going to get them. It's just too much to come back from.

It's time to pull any lever available. The most obvious one, and the one most likely to have the desired effect, is changing the manager.

Danny,

I reckon the Crystal-Palace-every-game lever would be a sterling choice.

Kieran #29,

To add insult to injury — Is the Haaland who is currently threatening Dixie Dean's record the same one who, a couple of years back, our shrewd recruitment team decided wouldn't be good enough for us?

Mike, the very same.

In all fairness, we don't know what they saw - things change fast with that age of player.

[That's what I tell myself and I'm sticking to it.]

Media love-fest about Leeds, who are one point above us and went closer to relegation than us last season. They stayed up on the last day. We gave ourselves the narrowest of breathing space.

Yet Leeds and their erratic manager get praise??

Will #71,

That's two of us then. Can we insist that every visiting team puts on a Palace strip?

Wow — all this bullshit about Haaland being at Finch Farm at age 16, Mbappe spotted at the Goodison Road fish bar when he was 15, but the scouts had nobody behind the counter,.. the dickheads!

Now Milner was at Finch Farm at 16 but it was snowing, for fuck's sake! Funny that... Finch Farm was indeed a fucking farm when Milner was 16!

If we had any more fish puns about the one that got away it might be funny, but it never is.

It didn't happen!

Danny, it's the American thing. Don't make too much of it.

They pump up any American who doesn't piss his pants in the Premier League. Then they move on to another story when they hit the skids.

While we have 22 games left, realistically it will be the dozen or so games against the mid and lower-table teams which determine our fate.

That makes our recent results against Bournemouth and Wolves all the more worrying.

Neil, I'll take any advantage...

Funny how people who admitted they couldn't be bothered watching the game the other day now wade in with insight — and they're the usual doom merchants.

Will, me too, mate.

John #78, I agree in the main but remember the 6 points we took from the Man Utd and Chelsea games last season. 1-0 is sufficient for 3 points after 90 minutes, regardless of the opponent.

Every game is winnable, although yes, it would make life much easier if we can win against the lower teams.

Jeff,

Just sharing what Milner said but no doubt Darren was on snow-shovelling duty that day and can attest Milner was a no-show while Moyes put Messi and Tevez to work on the same hill run.

Danny # 70.

The Wolves one I'd agree with, but Forest and Leicester I'm not so sure about. Forest were on a high after winning promotion, and had come to Goodison on the back of a win, beating West Ham the game before.

Also, I wouldn't classify the second home game of the season as “A Must Win Game” – no matter who it's against. And according to everyone, Leicester were in a false position in the league and most on here no doubt had it down as an away win.

As it turned out, it was, but could have been so different if Iwobi had scored that sitter in the first few minutes. Wolves, yes, a must-win game; but for poor finishing, we could have had that game sewn up before half-time.

There are still plenty of winnable games left this season, and I don't mean going to the likes of Man City, Chelsea, Arsenal or Liverpool and getting so much as a draw. People are praising the likes of Fulham and Brentford, two away games where we took a point.

We drew at Leeds, but were robbed by the VAR of a second goal by Demarai Gray. We were also robbed of a goal against Liverpool by the VAR, so there's a possible four more points we could have had.

After Man City, we have Brighton, Southampton and West Ham – all winnable games. I could go on looking at every fixture left but would be here all night.

The simple fact is, let's everyone look at the bigger picture and not just us. The three teams below us are utter shite. Forest and Southampton are heading for a goal difference of over -40. Wolves can't score, and before anyone says it, yes they scored 2 against us.

Forest have scored one away goal all season, and only 11 in total. Southampton have scored 14 but conceded 30. Can anybody see these teams improving on these stats?

At the moment, we have just about got our heads above water (or the dreaded dotted line), and I firmly believe we will still be above that dotted line after this weekend.

Yes, Man City probably will beat us, but I cannot see Wolves beating Man Utd, Forest beating Chelsea, or Southampton going to Fulham and winning. You never know, we could lose at Cty and actually move up the table, providing Brentford can beat West Ham by more than City beat us.

And by the way, this is not a defeatist attitude by me for this weekend. Being realistic, then yes, City should beat us, but I bet Brentford thought the same.

We're in the shit, of course we are, there's no denying the fact, but so too is every team from Brentford down. So let's everyone drop this “We're already going down this season”, cos we're not.

There's still 66 points to play for, and with a striker or two next month, watch us improve.

Rob #83, spot on.

If we stay positive, we will be fine.

Kieran, fair enough, but don't you think some of these “embellished” autobiographical accounts are a bit “too local” and convenient?

Milner, for fuck's sake... was he ever linked with us at 16? I doubt it.

But it fills a couple of pages in his book and keeps Kopites interested, I suppose.

It's bollocks.

Jeff,

Yeah, seriously, I imagine anyone halfway decent has some kind of contact with multiple clubs, be it a trial, meeting a scout etc. So yeah, the stories are focused on the ones that create a stir.

Neil 84, .....god, if only it was that simple.

Jeff 87,

Not much else we can do, nothing to be gained from fretting.

Big Nev says it wouldn't bother him If an Everton player came out and said he was gay.

They could start by coming out as footballers...

Neil,

Glad you're back with some common sense to talk me off the ledge...

Southampton fans are slagging off Nathan Jones because he doesn't have prior Premier League experience and it got me thinking. If Southampton aren't willing to give a lower-division manager a shot, then who is?

They're one of the smallest teams in the Premier League. But it seems now clubs have a top-down approach in that the non-Big 6 would rather pick up someone (usually foreign) who's been sacked by one of the Big 6 and is on his way down rather than give a shot to someone from below.

Even those who get lower league clubs into the Premier League (Dyche, Wilder etc) seem to be looked down upon versus the likes of Mourinho and Ranieri who come in at the top, fail, then work their way down.

Moyes was one of the last to be plucked from below and given a shot. But historically look at Martin O'Neill, George Graham, Howard Kendall etc – the elevator used to work the opposite way.

So, if and when Frank goes, be it soon or later, I hope we are open-minded in finding a successor and not just putting out a parachute for someone falling down.

Hi Kieran.

I've been in bed since 12:30 and haven't been able to sleep, so I've got up to watch the cricket, and look on TW.

Regarding the Southampton manager, it seems some fans already want him out, and he's only been there for two games, losing both. It's three if you count the Carabao Cup game against Lincoln, which by all accounts, they were very lucky to win.

Could Nathan Jones have the shortest managerial position in football history?

Rob, you are bringing back my optimism!

Kieran, you touch on a point that grates me. Must have Premier League experience.

I feel dirty only looking at the Premier League era, but I think most managers who have been successful didn't have Premier League experience. Without looking, you can rattle off Wenger, Mourinho, the Man City managers and Klopp. You could even argue prior to that, Kendall and Sir Alex.

It's like players. That boy Haaland isn't doing too bad considering he had only played in Norway, Austria and Germany. There are countless others who had an impact despite not having prior Premier League experience. It's English football snobbery.

Apologies if I've gone off on a tangent there.

I get your sentiment. Both for players and managers, look around. There will be plenty of talent to be found in the lesser leagues; at home and on the continent and at good value for money.

Has anyone got Haaland in their fantasy football team? I've had him in since game week seven, and he's been captain every week.

Do I accept the fact that he's likely to score against us and leave him in, as captain, after all, he's scoring against everybody else, or do I take him out and hope he doesn't score? Such a predicament! 😨😨😨

Ron 83,

Getting results we might not expect (that is, against the likes of Man City, Man Utd, etc.) is precisely what we need to do now.

To some extent, the win away at Southampton was a bonus, and made up for the points dropped at home. That was my point, there aren't enough games left at Goodison that we can expect to win to get us to 40 points. We need to start picking up points on the road or against better opposition.

Put Gray up top in place of Maupay against Man City, sit back and try to pinch one. A surprise win there would get us back on track!

Kieran #90,

Pleased to help, mate. Don't jump as you might miss a win!

Uncle Bill will be on WhatsApp right now to Moshiri:

“Let's see what happens to Davey this week before backing Frank...”