The Irish Independent
 

Shels could explode the Moyes myth
By Dion Fanning, 15 May 2004

DAVID MOYES admitted last week that he felt a little awkward celebrating fourth place, but Everton's achievements in qualifying for the Champions League must have made one other manager very happy: Pat 'Nutsy' Fenlon now knows there's a team in the qualifiers that Shelbourne can beat.

Of course, there are reasons for Everton's 7-0 defeat to Arsenal on Wednesday night which make it an unfair distortion of their season. Everton's play this season has been based around a 'foaming at the mouth' unity, a mania, perhaps even a pathological fear of Moyesy, who has been know to administer a few belts in his time. This undoubtedly disappeared around the time they saw him relaxing in his conservatory with a glass of champagne on Sunday night.

But it doesn't explain seven goals, it doesn't allow us to makes sense of the riddle. "This is second place against fourth," the commentator kept screeching on Sky as Carso huffed and puffed and their famed defence creaked, longing for Alan Stubbs who was resting on the bench.

The only way to make sense of it is to understand that Everton are the worst team to have qualified for the Champions League in the history of English football. Understand that and it all makes sense.

At the start of the season, some of you may have bet on Everton going down. As they sit in fourth this afternoon, preparing for an end-of- season jolly with Bolton Wanderers, you may be undergoing a sustained period of reflection, a bit of soul-searching as you wonder if all you believed to be true is instead, hokum.

In fact, you were right. If you place every bet with the same rigorous standards and perceptive analysis with which you bet on Everton to go down, you will make money. In fact, if you just bet on Everton to go down every year, you'll eventually make money.

All this, of course, makes David Moyes' case for Manager of the Year watertight. He sold Rooney and, more importantly, Thomas Gravesen and managed to coast to the final Champions League spot as Liverpool failed to make any challenge at all and the best of the rest, well, there aren't any.

Moyesy and the boys have therefore jumped a staggering 13 places in one season. Last season, Everton had 39 points, this season it's 61 with a few more still at stake. They have earned more points that Gerard Houllier's side did when coming fourth last season, but the likelihood of this group ending up in the European Cup final next season is remote. Already the UEFA Cup may be a better bet.

Since Gravesen left in January, Everton have stumbled to reach fourth place. They have claimed just 18 points in 14 matches, but no side has challenged them and Everton have found it easy, even if they've lost more matches than they've won since Christmas.

For that reason, Moyes is right when he says Everton's priority again next season is avoiding relegation. Having bounced from seventh to 17th and then to fourth during his three seasons in charge, he knows that Everton's struggle has, in recent years, always been the same.

The Champions League may change that if Everton can get past Shels, or whoever they face in the qualifying round. Until then, they may lay off the spending, refuse to take the calls from Figo's agent when he rings to say his player has always dreamed of playing for Everton, especially if they'll pay him 100 grand a week.

In Moyes, they have the right man for that kind of thing. The type of man who can turn a side doomed to relegation into a fourth placed team without Rooney or Gravesen. But he did have Tim Cahill.

Cahill was singled out this week as the type of player promoted clubs should be looking for as they try to stay up. "We'll be looking for some of our own," the Wigan chief executive remarked as the conventional wisdom quickly took hold that a club was doomed if they bought some of those lazy foreigners. They all pointed to someone like Cahill as the ideal buy. Cahill, of course, is Australian.

Crystal Palace came close to buying Cahill last season, but their owner Simon Jordan wouldn't pay his agent a fee of Ј125,000 so he went to Everton instead, probably earning them ten points and costing Palace the same.

Now he's got Champions League football, at least until Shels get hold of them. Moyes knows his priorities and, although he might not have much time for the bookies after the season just gone, he may have spotted their Champions League prices. Liverpool, who aren't even in the competition, are a shorter price to win it next year than Everton.

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