Colm's Corner
Columnist: Colm Kavanagh

You Know You’re in Trouble when…
23 November 2005

Insouciance: a certain Wayne Rooney v WBA, circa 2002

You know you’re in trouble when you go to The Hawthorns, expecting to witness the continuation of a ‘mini-revival’ and instead sit through 90-odd minutes of Everton at their most inept, capitulating to a very ordinary (some might say mediocre) West Bromwich Albion.  West Fucking Brom!!! 

I don’t know about you but I was hiding behind a “I am 1” badge when Everton (then a great Club) lost 1-0 at Wembley, against West Brom, in the 1968 FA Cup Final.  I grew up believing that result to be an embarrassment to the name of Everton FC.  I was wrong.  It would become the norm in my lifetime!

November 23, 2002 won’t register with most Blues but it was on that date, at Goodison Park, where we witnessed the sight of a sprightly young chap by the name of Rooney, standing over a ball enticing the opposing defender to “come and get it”.  Everton v West Brom.  The home team flying high, on the crest of a wave and in possession of the finest young talent emerging in the game, facing a struggling collection of journeymen pro’s, has-been’s and wannabe’s, themselves already struggling for survival in the Premiership.  Wayne Rooney versus Darren Moore.  Stop.  Observe.  Pause.  Reflect.  Realise where we are today, the mess we’re once again in, on and off the pitch.  Depressing!

Three years on, to the day, we’ve only memories of Rooney.  Sold for less than Drogba and Wright-Philips, on the drip, given interest free to the (then) self-proclaimed richest club in the world, we replaced him with the quality of Marcus Bent.  West Brom though still have Darren Moore, on occasion, plugging holes in their defence and they are still shit!  Though we’ve since added the undoubted quality (cough!) of Mr. James Beattie it speaks volumes – and scares the shit out of me! – that we’re arguably relying on the fitness, and goals, of one Duncan Ferguson.  You know you’re in trouble when looking towards Duncan Ferguson for the goals in a season of great promise that has now unravelled into becoming an awful mess.  Leeds United scored four goals in fifteen minutes last Saturday – we’ve scored four in twelve League games all season!!!

Champions League?  Well, we didn’t laugh much there, did we?  Uefa Cup embarrassment – a blessing in disguise being dumped out so unceremoniously.  Unless the current players get off their arses and do what they’re paid to do it’s going to be a long hard season ahead.  It shouldn’t be.

The point (oh for a few!) of no return looms sooner rather than later.  There comes a time when forever supporting the manager in his quest to bring back “the good days” to Goodison becomes an exercise in futility.  The League table does not make pretty reading – but that situation can be easily rectified with a few wins.  The quality of football becomes an issue when results are going against us, that’s typical of football.  It’s all about winning; everyone will take home a succession of 1-0s if offered.  Never mind the quality, feel the three points!  When you’re down, losing game after game…everything comes under the microscope, for examination.  Time for the players to stand up and be counted, beginning with the visit of Newcastle United next Sunday…

Colm Kavanagh

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