Rumour Mill — Week of 8 June 2025

After all the fuss about strange names, in week 1, What Mr and Mrs Cart called their eldest son may be of interest. They called him after their favourite film director and movie star, Orson Welles. Yes, that's correct: Orson Cart.

As for Walker-Peters, go get him, Moyesiah. He plays both full-back roles, so two for the price of one.

If it had been Mr & Mrs Carte, they may have opted for Allah, instead.

Oooo... the latest bombshell to drop:

Alan Nixon says Newcastle United are now showing a serious interest in Jack Grealish.

Good. They can 've 'im.

Oh, but hang on, that's on the back of this 'Exclusive' in The Mail:

Everton emerge as shock contenders for Jack Grealish as new owners look to make statement signing ahead of move to Bramley-Moore Dock

Exclusive? Er, it's been all over and back again.

Shock contenders? Dumbass suckers more like.

Statement signing? Yea, but what statement is it making???

Oh, and this gem is the second line of this 'exclusive':

Inside Sport understands that no talks have taken place between the two clubs, but that the Merseyside outfit is aware of Grealish’s availability.

Ye Wha.... I'd be seriously concerned if, in this day and age, the club was not aware of every single player who is 'available' — along with a shitload who aren't.

Jesus Christ... it continues:

“He is a really good player and probably the best player in the Premier League at this time,” Moyes said in 2021.

What the fuck? I can't take any more...

Paul Mkenna, hypnotist, has been brought in by the new Everton owners to help buy a new team for the blues.

Mr Mkenna has been visiting various Premier League teams where he meets with transfer targets and somehow convinces them to sign for Everton at very low wages. Lionel Messi, Harry Kane, and Kylian Mbappe have all agreed to play for Everton.

Mr Masters, head of the Premier League, said Everton's transfer policy would be investigated. After meeting Paul Mkenna for dinner, Mr Masters said, "All is above board and I can't find anything wrong with the players' contracts."

Mr Masters has since left his job and is training for the female role in the ballet the Nutcracker Suite. Mr Mkenna has, after meeting with the Everton owners, now been elected to the board on £200,000 a week as financial advisor.

Paul #5

If Mr MKenna has been visiting various Premier League teams to convince players to join Everton but has met with Messi, Kane and Mbappe... I really have my concerns about this.

Perhaps it's Messy, Caine and M. Bappy... he's targeting?

Brendan, you have me worried now! 😕

Paul @7, you can get worried mate? I think that worries me!!!

I'll keep it simple rather than go through names. Too much detail for me.

A back up keeper if none of the U21s are ready to make the step up and fill that role.

A complete hip replacement for our right side. Not the starting answer right now, but Roman Dixon can be part of that surgery.

A creative midfielder.

Not necessarily creative, but bring Harrison Armstrong back into the fold.

A forward.

As on other threads, not a priority if Calvert-Lewin stays and Chermiti is fit. I wouldn't mind seeing Braiden Graham promoted to the first team squad. Even if he dips in and out of the first team and U21s as required.

Jack @1.

In the 70's the Algerian national team included a player called Ars Bandeet.

Orson Cart. Comedy gem! 😀

Micheal 3. RELAX!!! He aint coming....

Um, I hope, say it ain't so M K, you gotts me worried.

Taty Castellanos sounds like a fried potato dish.

Chiqui Arce The surname Arce is funny. But to give yourself the moniker 'Chiqui' is inspired.

Real name Francisco Javier Arce, Chiqui earned a decent reputation as a right-back for Paraguay during the finals of the 1998 and 2002 World Cups, although he's still known more for the quality of his name rather than his darting runs and dead-ball ability.

Neil, apparently Taty got the name because of his big head. His mum used to send him to get ten pounds of potatoes in his hat.

Paul, ha ha!

Nothing to do with the rumour mill but there was a lad in our class at school called Richard Bone.

And at Kingsthorne Primary school in Hunts Cross the head master’s name was Mr Masheter, nicknamed Spud.

Neil, apparently Dick was the idle one.

Imagine the permutations of his name: Lazy Dick, Dick bone, give Dick the bone, bone idle… the list goes on.😀

James McAtee the latest to be linked. I like the look of this lad.

Any thoughts Robert T on him?

There was a posy gentleman a number of years ago who was a mate of Beau Nash but quite lazy – Beau Nidel.

But seriously the guy at the cloakroom at the recent trade fair in India was Mahatma Coat.

And this one is true: I worked with a girl back in the '70s who had married a Mr Green. Her mum and dad had christened her Theresa.

And a girl in our primary school named Henrietta (wait for it) Fisch.

Wasn't there a German footballer called Berndt Haas (pronounced burnt ass).

We also had a Robert Kidd at sfx and when the role call was made they announced R,Kidd.

I had a teacher in high school whose name was Harold Cox…Harry Cox to his friends. He was a good teacher and genuinely nice man.

His parents should be ashamed of themselves.

Many years ago I worked with a bloke called Richard Head.

Not sure why he was never referred to as Richard!

“Mike Hunt! Has anyone seen Mike Hunt”??

I worked with an American called Randy Bender

Is this thread unravelling.

Jay, Berndt Haas is Swiss but he does exist.

Andrew (26) I think so — great isn't it.

Here's another one for you — a girl I knew growing up, her name was Gertrude and when she was called her full Christian name, she always replied: “Just call me Gertie and leave the rude part out!”

I went to college with a girl called Barbara Ann Darling.

Hence B A Darling.

Stuttgart have been quoted £20M for James McAtee

Looks like a certain youngest ever player who plays left back and insisted he was bigger than the club and left for Southampton is hitting the big times at Preston now.

Suppose it's an upgrade from League One football.

Apparently Moyes wants to sign James McAtee, and that deal looks likely.
McAtee has a £35M price-tag he's left-footed.

McAtee, 22, netted seven times in 27 appearances, which has alerted a number of Premier League and Bundesliga clubs.

I went out with a girl called Fanny Bright.

I soon found out why all her ex's wore dark glasses.😕

The ex German footballer arrested for indecent exposure:

Helmut Schön.😀

FYI:

McAtee is actually the great-nephew of former Everton and England hero Alan Ball... his mother is keen on it so maybe she will influence him.

My workmate in the USA was Frank Yu.

I used to say "Frank Yu, Frank Yu" every time he wet the tea.

Kuntz!!

Rob, God bless you.

Gerry, isn't Wet the Tea the name of a traditional Irish band?

PK - looks likely according to who?

Our dinner lady was Betty Swallocks.

Dave @41, I thought it was Mary Hinge ! :-)

Mark, I can't divulge that or I would have to kill a random TW member.😬

Everton could be getting a player with a "sense" for goal if they signed James McAtee from Manchester City this summer. That's if Pep Guardiola sanctions a deal. According to a report from The i, the Blues have a serious interest in the 22-year-old attacking midfielder.

He has played as a second striker and off the right for City in recent months.

(Liverpool Echo)

Paul # 44…

Can we select a TW member for the aforementioned death threat?

I am enjoying Paul's joke of the day column more than the transfer rumours.

As for the done deals, there are a few – but a long way to go. Quite a few try before you buy loans are going through – as we have seen with Alcaraz. These include:

Todibo (CB) to West Ham €42M
Lo Fee (AM) to Sunderland €23M
Kayode (RB) to Brentford €17.5M
Rowe (RW) to Marseille €14.5M
Maupay (CF) to Marseille €4M
Danso (CB) to Spurs €25M
Couto (RB) to Dortmund €25M
Kellerher (GK) to Brentford €14.8M

Not a great deal else as yet apart from the big Cunha signing for Man Utd €74.2M.

But a good handful of interesting players released including Zouma, Reguillon, Ings, Gomes and Lindelhof. I see Eric Dier has already found a home in Monaco, lucky lad, after quite a decent spell in Munich. Not a bad life is it?

As others have said, PSR etc means we'll be unlikely to confirm deals before the month of June is out. A lot of the groundwork will have been laid well ahead of time though – possibly even while Thelwell was still here. It's then now down to agents, selling clubs and other deals going through around the market before things start to fall into place.

Robert, €23M doesn't seem like a Lo Fee to me!

Rob, yes, let's have a vote on who I should have terminated!

Obviously I can't be included in the list as you well know, I can't self-terminate. I'll start the vote your favourite and mine, Harry Diamond... 😀

Re Fanny Bright. When I found myself in the position of oral sex, I found out to my utter disbelief, the reason she was known as Fanny Bright.
In what I can only describe as a crevice, all lit up, the words,
Eat at Joe's! I've never been the same since.😕

I’ve changed my mind about your jokes Paul.

Good information Robert, thanks.

Third test event at new stadium supposed to be Saturday 9th August.

After giving it some serious thought Paul, I’ve decided that we should drop the idea of a vote as to who you should terminate. Don’t want to upset anyone! 😂😂😂

Ok Rob no problems, um... What about Micheal K or Robert, he don'ts gots ta like my jokes no moe😀

👍👍👍

Arl arse Kane scores the usual tap in.

I've changed my mind again Paul - we need more jokes.

I got to know a lady in Norway called (you have to believe it) Randi Koch.

The minister for Tourism in Turkey until recently was named Akin Koc.

Always surprises me how often you hear the Welsh name, Dai Young.

Who wants to live for ever in Wales, I guess?? 🤔

@ Robert Tressell, have you any scouting reports on Lennon Miller of Motherwell?

Only 18 and he's already captain and won a couple of caps for Scotland recently. I think he only has 1 year left on his contract.

Barry, I've heard good things about Lennon Miller. Done really well this season for such a young kid although obviously the Scottish league is a far lower standard. Seems like he has a pretty well rounded game and particularly scores highly in through passes and assist data.

I think you're right he only has a year left which would make him cheap but rumoured that Sunderland are close to signing him. May be the best thing if they plan to play him as not sure he'd be able to crack our first team yet but an excellent looking prospect.

Lennon Miller is a good prospect but not yet ready for the PL
I know I keep harping on about my mate John McGinn but we really fucked up with him.

My next Hibs prospect is a guy called Triantis. Hibs got him from Sunderland on loan 2 seasons ago as a centre-back.
He never really shone to be honest.

Due to circumstances, they put him in to midfield… Wow!
Got him back on loan a second season, put him in midfield, and he was even better.

Called up for the Aussie squad but pulled out because of doubts on his future. For sure now Sunderland are back they'll look at him pre-season. For sure, Hibs want him full-time. Tall, athletic, really comfortable on the ball and sees a great pass. A bit John Stones like. One to watch.

But what do I know after suggesting we could get McGinn for a couple of million?

Thanks Sam.

John, is it just me or does McGinn look like he's carrying a bit of timber - he's well able to carry it though!

Nah, Barry, that was the German Striker from the 1970s, Bernd Hölzenbein. Now he did carry a bit of timber.

Died last year aged 78.

Barry,

McGinn massively bulked up as soon as he transferred to Villa. At Hibs, he had the engine and skill in abundance but was lightweight, not for the Scottish Premiership, bur certainly for the English Premier League.

As we see every week, he uses his physique as a massive part of his game. Definitely one we missed out on through incompetence.

Hope so, Sam.

John (67),

Definitely incompetence — Alan Stubbs repeatedly told Everton about him and he could have been bought for around £3M or £4M. I forget who the manager was at the time.

Dave,

Could have been Silva? Not sure. Regardless, at the time, Hibs wanted money. As usual Celtic – because of McGinn's history – thought they'd get him for nowt and offered peanuts.

Everton were definitely in the know and the money Hibs wanted, even had McGinn not made the grade, they would definitely have got their money back and more.

Villa came out of nowhere, offered Hibs a few bob, and the rest is history. I do know John was as surprised as anyone when Villa, reluctantly, stepped in.

Thomas Frank appointed new Spuds manager.

Womp womp. I guess that is good, Robert believes we will be above Brentford and Spurs with that decision.

Gutted. I wanted Tommy Frank as Everton manager.

McGinn would have been a great signing. I've always admired him and told the wife he was Villa's best player, but she only had eyes for Ollie Watkins.

Tenacity and aggression, but can play. Dare I say, not the same, but in the same mould as Peter Reid. He would have endeared himself to Evertonians.

Rob, it was local rumour a week or so ago that Thomas Frank was about to hand in his notice and head for White Hart Lane.

I agree (AGREE) with you Colin.

Let's see how Frank goes. I don't think his teams defend, and I don't think Spurs will have the same approach to Brentford on the recruitment.

They should’ve gone for Iraola.
I don’t think Frank will pass the test of time.
Happy to be quoted on that.

Richarlison will probably stay now. Frank is a fan of his

Zinchenko is being shown the door at Arsenal. Not a big fees or wage, and can play several positions.

Not a world beater, but would add someone that can play full back, midfield or wing with his versatility.

A Ukrainian Phil Neville.

That's not a bad shout that Ian, I like him and his preferred position is central midfield. I know he had an injury but not really sure why it didn't work out for him there. Mikel was supposedly a big fan due to their time at City, he barely got going. I disagree about the wages though, suspect they are high.

Colin 74, Give it 18 months and you might get your wish.

You're right, he's gone from £20k to £150k at Arsenal.

A loan with Arsenal paying part of his wages and obligation to buy. His contract expires next summer.

See the other lot have signed their Wirtz player ever.

I will get my coat.

Interesting to see a few transfers being announced in the bit between when the window shut and reopens.

Brian, I saw that about Wirtz. Assume they checked his character, hope he's a brat. I'm wearing my coat already.

I see the other lot have spent the latest piece of the Coutinho money.

By my reckoning, they must have got about £600M for him.

How come, if the transfer window is closed from Tuesday 10th, opens Monday 16 June, closes Deadline Day on Monday 1 September, and the other lot have just signed a player?

They probably signed him weeks ago, Paul, but are only announcing it now for whatever reason.

Brighton just spent €40M on another Greek teenage striker – only 18 years old. They are spending some big money now. Pressure piling on the underperforming Hurzeler. He will be lucky to escape the sack this coming season.

That's only a bit less than Real have just spent on a new Messi (Mastantuono) from River Plate.

Ian,

I'd take Zinchenko at the right price for sure. I think with our small squad we'll need a few versatile types able to fill in and adapt.

Spurs bidding £70M for the Brentford lad shows how far behind we are.

People were saying Beto was expensive at £25M.

I think the "dark side" may make their Wirst transfer mistake ever.

For me, the player looks a bit too slender despite his talent, and the Premier League is no place for a lightweight – another David Klaassen?

One thing's for sure: our manager will make sure any signings from the continent will have the right physical and mental attributes to be successful.

Indeed, Ryan. When Moyes was first here, most of his fairly run-of-the-mill signings would now cost between £20M and £40M. Brighton have just spent €40M on an 18-year-old.

And I don't share the disdain for Wirtz. I think he's a cracking player unfortunately.

Wirtz is brilliant I think.

Fred Beel @58,

Fred, I don't recall seeing you post on here before.

Surely you must be the Blue I knew many years ago at Upholland Grammar School?

Wirtz is a good player, but I am more interested in who we are looking to sign.

I don't really care who others are or are not signing or for how much. Spend wisely and get the right players to improve the squad.

We have a couple of friendlies in a month's time, which I am planning on attending. Let's hope we have a few through the door before the boys head to the US.