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Thoughts from the Editor

Dead Duck
30 October 2004

Dead Duck: Deepdale mascot gets short shrift at Goodison

This marvellous contribution was posted on the WSAG forum and definitely deserves the widest possible audience.  We usually edit things to make them read correctly but the gems from the Deepdale Duck just make this contribution even more hilarious.  Thanks, Kris: you have made us very happy.  Definitely one to put in your havvlesack for a rainy day?

Your club is a disgrace and is being reported

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Hi Kris Connolly here.  I posted a few days ago on here and thought you were all sound, but sorry, I have bad tidings to report about your so called 'Premier league club'.

On Wednesday afternoon, at 5:30pm, I reported for duty at the Goodison Park players lounge entrance. As you were all made aware, I was to participate in pre-match entertainment on the pitch, warming up the crowd - as I do at all PNE away games. From Rotherham to Rushden and Diamonds, I'm always there.

Anyway, I attempt to go in - and someone stops me.

Scouse hardman: "Where's yer ID?"
Me: "I've got a car park pass"
Scouser: "I need ID or yer not coming in"
Me: "I'm the Deepdale Duck, I'm here for the pre-match entertainment"
Scouser: "I need ID. Driving license, passport...."
Me: "I've got me duck suit with me in this havvlesack?"

Anyway, after 15 mins of this, Sean Tilley spots me, recognises me and smooths it over with the doorman. I'm in!

Gets inside, start warming in.  I've got half my duck costume on when Ray Haskins, Goodison Park Safety Officer, informs me that the club have had second thoughts, and that due to the Preston fans taking up the whole of the Bulens Road end, and that I would have to be walking close to EFC fans in Gladiss Street when I'm doing my bit, that the club were not allowing me to appear.

So I was p1ssed off was an understatement.  I told him how I've had no problems at all the other Football League clubs but he wasn't having any of it.  I complained to everyone, even Tom Finney tried to have a word but it wasn't happening.  In the end he basically told me if I didn't like it, I knew where the door was and that I should count myself lucky that I was in the ground as there were thousands locked out!  He then said if I don't like it, I should complain to the Football league and the Premier League.

Which I am doing, posted the letters this afternoon.

Sorry about this blues fans but its a matter of principle, mascots have rights and I reckon its a disgrace how I was treated.  There are many good things about your club but hospitality to visitors isnt one of them.

You may be reading more about this in in the national press tomorrow and on Sunday.  A Daily Star on Sunday journo and photographer is coming over to my house after to do a story on me.  So there may be some bad publicity for your lot ahead.

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Precious!  "Mascots have Rights!"  Read the full thread here