Fans Comment
Kieran Kinsella

Bread
5 August 2005

Here we have Billy the whiney, cry baby, tantrum throwing brat.  Billy represents the fans of the Gwladys Street end who think that if they shout loud enough and bitch and moan that crap players become good and debts become surpluses.

Then we have that Adrian fellow.  He represents those fans who sit in the family areas.  Most vaguely remember Wayne Clarke as being good and stopped keeping up with the team obsessively around the time Danny Williamson and Slaven Bilic disappeared into obscurity.   Dreamy, idealistic, romantics who imagine that somehow Beattie, McFadden and Davies will link up like Rivaldo, Kluivert and Figo and carve open the best teams in Europe this season.

Then we have the mother: David Moyes.  Tough talking no nonsense. Down to earth, too down to earth, dour even. He thinks hard work will conquer all.

Trying to mislead him with dodgey deals, lies and trickery is Freddie Boswell, aka Bill Kenwright.  The biggest bullshitting cloak and dagger merchant on the block.  Always trying to keep the misses happy with misfiring get-rich-quick schemes that still leave the chicken pot empty.

Finally we have Joey.  Calm, reassuring and level headed.  Humouring Freddie, placating Mam and patronising the younger boys.  We know Joey as Keith Wyness.  The sadder part is Jack.  Slow, sedentary, rarely motivated and basically the luvable loser.  Jack consists of 11 players in this case.  The Carsleys, Fergusons, Cahills and so on.  Who next week will, due to the dysfunction of the family as a whole, embark on a brief and unsuccessful sojourn into Europe.

I can guarantee that the following will happen when we tackle Villarreal.  They will score first.  Not Diego Forlan though, someone else, probably a midfielder we've never heard of before but who will probably end up at Newcastle by Christmas. Then 5 minutes from the end Duncan will come on, score, run around, take of his shirt.  The fans will go wild. 2 minutes later Cahill will score too.  Then everyone will go home happy and think of past glories nights all up until two weeks later in Spain when we are eliminated.

Considering our fate in pre-season friendlies, I think fate is telling us it's inevitable that we will lose on penalties in a much more important game this season.  Sadly it may be this one but either way we will lose.

The truth is we are all mugs.  Everyday we check teletext or the local rag or for those of us far from home, ToffeeWeb, Soccernet and the gossip column of the BBC website to see if we have signed anyone yet.  Have we signed the "6 players" Moyesy said we needed just to add to the players we had (assuming they had all stayed)?  Well don't hold your breath.  Kenwright is, as Billy from Bread might say, "a big fat liar".

His tendency to sanction bids for players whose value has been clearly stated in the media and whose wages are extortionate is laughable.  The trick seems to be so see another club make an unsuccessful bid (eg, last year, Blackburn's initial bid for Barry Ferguson; more recently Spurs bid for Johnson and Schalke's for Baros) then offer approximately £1M less.  If the bid is accepted (eg, for Chelsea's Parker), offer the player wages that are 50% of his current wage.  If he accepts (Forsell, Parker) alert the media as to the full details of the deal and wait until another club signs him.  Don't bullshit us.  We have a crap team.  Yeah Arteta is ok; Cahill is good; but then we signed Beattie.  Davies, if fit, could be Pat Nevinish at best...

I had flashbacks to the time we paid over the odds for Vinny Samways.  McFadden is the poor man's John Spencer, etc etc.  I am sorry but last season will be the one we talk about for years to come.  It wasn't the beginning, it's not even the end of the beginning.  It was the be-all and end-all... and if we are lucky we MAY get back there by the grace of God one day.

Getting back to Bread then.  Give it up, Freddie, you screwed this family up big time, pal.  On yer bike.

Kieran Kinsella

I don't fear a team who finished third in the league in Spain, but I don't care if they fear us or not.  What matters is that I know that every Everton player who takes to the field in both games will be fighting tooth and nail to win, and I will be 100% behind them.  Every player Moyesy has signed this summer I have been delighted with and it's about time some other people stopped pointing their fingers and started raising their fists to support the boys in blue on the brink of these hugely exciting and crucially important games. IMIT! — Martin Tilly

I was reading Kieran Kinsella's recent article and felt he was making a good point — right up to his conclusion.  He's another example of why fans get annoyed with ToffeWeb's negative take on everything.  He has already written off our chances of getting past the qualifying rounds of the Champions League, in that same way that everyone keeps writing off our chances every year — Why?

Here we stand on the verge of Europe again, many years after we were last really involved, and with a manager who many think (not just me) can work miracles.  We were relegation fodder last season; all the moaning minnies were on here saying we need to buy, buy, buy or we'll be relegated.

It didn't happen though.

We sold Rooney, and everyone said that was it; that the club would go into terminal decline; that we'd never recover.  We had to blame someone for this and we blamed Rooney.  It was his fault and the fans would never forgive him for being THE reason that the club would now be relegated.

It didn't happen though.

We had a dodgy start but got it together and by Christmas we were flying high.  Not many of us thought we'd end the year up there, but we were enjoying the moment — even though EVERYONE, including journalists, pundits, Liverpool, all the opposition fans — were saying that our bubble will burst, class will tell and we'd soon fall back down the table.

It didn't happen though.

Our success surprised everyone, so much so that Real Madrid decided it was Tommy who was orchestrating our whole performance so they snapped him up in January.  The Blues were again up in arms, saying how Davey was stupid to sell him, that we'd fall back down the table again, the doom and gloom merchants were out, that's our season over they said.

It didn't happen though.

On the run-in we were struggling, injuries to the small squad, Davey not buying enough players, suspensions...  We didn't have the class or experience to hold our nerve going into the run in for the final placings.  We were going to drop like a stone, our bubble finally would burst and the world and his dog would say "I told you so".

It didn't happen though.

Not only did it not happen, but our tiny squad, those happy few, took us into a Champions League place with two games in hand.  For the first time in our history, we are in the Champions League (albeit the Third Qualifying Round).

Then over the summer, everyone started playing Championship Manager.  Players that were available for transfer, or even who were potentially up for transfer, were all linked with Everton.  By their agents, by their clubs, by the papers, and by our fans.

We desperately wanted SOMEONE to come to us, now we had the funds to buy anyone we wanted — we were flush, kings of the hill.

We trimmed the squad, re-negotiated the wage bill, bought some players, improved the squad, but the fans were desperate for a big signing.  We'd missed out on hundreds and hundreds of players, who were moving from one club to another; why weren't we buying someone?  Some fans were starting to panic — to bottle it, even worse..... to blame the manager.

It was his fault: "Dithering Davey", the man who had not only kept us from relegation, but had bought us to the very brink of Europe.  He doesn't have what it takes to go the next step, to take us into a new Era for Goodison.

We'd seen Newcastle, Spurs and, worst of all Liverpool, buying up loads of players; some good, some average... why couldn't we?  It must be easy if they can do it — why can't we just pay them all the money we've won?  Why can't we just gamble our future on one good season?

It won't happen though.

Why not?  Because Moyes is a MAN, he has BALLS, he's not a whinging old woman who is so scared of failure that he'll risk his entire strategy, and the club's future, on a panic buy.  If the player he wants is not available then he'll try to get someone else on his list.  He'll stick to his plan and his principles that have bought us so far and he, and his team, will do their utmost to get us into the Champions League Group stages.

Will they make it?  Not if you believe some the old ladies on here.  They've already given up.  We haven't bought enough players, our squad is too thin, we don't have enough experience, our strikers can't score.... The Board and the manager have let us down!

But on the other hand... Yes, this is still largely the same squad as took us to 4th place.  Yes we have improved it, Yes we have European experience in the squad, and Yes, the last time we won a European cup we did so in our first year of the competition, so maybe European experience counts less than experience of wanting to succeed.

So will we beat Villarreal?  Will our small but determined squad get past the best(?) that Spain has to offer?  Will our new players gel with the old and form a formidable defense allowing us to score that one goal (or more) that might take us through to the big European stage?  Has Davey got the knowledge and ability to take our team and lead them to victory over two legs?

I don't know, but it could happen though...  Saco el Juggler  5/8/05

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