Fans Comment
Bob Roberts

POP Quiz
10 November 2005

Instructions:  Choose A or B:

1)  Wayne Rooney

A: Is one of the best players in the world; will soon mature [maybe at the World Cup] into the greatest player into the world.  He was disgracefully forced out of his boyhood club by the money grabbing and mismanagement of Bill Kenwright.

B: A great talent who David Moyes brought through perfectly by not over-playing him, and not letting the expectations of the fans on how much he should do every game sky-rocket.  It was said a lot when he went to Man Utd that Fergie was the perfect manager for him, as he wouldn't play him too much so not to harm his future development.  In fact, Fergie has played him in nearly every game.  Rooney looks like he is now nailed on to be the next Gazza, with his off- and on-field antics.  He was a True Blue until he came back from the Euros and became the CHARLIE BIG POTATO HEAD he is now.  Hasn't even slightly improved at Man Utd.

2)  Everton Team of the 80s

A:  They would win the league today, or at least challenge Chelsea.  Full of guile, skill and wonderful passers, but the hard edge when needed if the opposition wanted a war.  Played great entertaining attractive football and looked like winning most if not all games.

B:  Fantastic team spirit, full of strong character and 100% effort players.  No pace (other then Lineker for a season); terrible fitness compared to the modern game; technically not that gifted for its time.  Most of the team would be Championship- if not Conference-level today.  Only Southall would have a shot at the current Everton team, let alone any of the bigger clubs in the Premiership.  Football in the 80s was played at walking pace after 20 minutes as the fitness was a joke compared to the modern game; there were about 5 quick players in the whole league; Arsenal currently have more then that in their reserves.  All the talented players had been kicked out of the game.  Football of about the standard of League One or Two today.

3)  David Moyes

A:  Dithering Dave takes an hour at lunch to decide if he wants rice pudding for desert.  He has no pedigree as he didn't get Preston to the Premiership.  The proud owner of our worst European result, worst league points total (the league used to be 22 teams so I'm not sure that's true, but since it's a 20-team league).  Wasn't playing Rooney in the season he was voted best player at the European Championship.  A manager who gave contracts too, Kilbane, Pistone, Valente and Naysmith — 4 players who would be contenders for a worst Everton 11 of all time.  He is so incompetent that, when every Evertonian and his dog could see the team needed a pacey striker, he went out and bought three defenders and a hatful of midfielders.  Has managed Everton while they have played the most boring, talentless unattractive football ever seen at Goodison Park.

B:  A future legend — two manager-of-the-year awards; managed Everton to their best league finish since 1987.  Has got the best out of players every Evertonian never thought would make it: Carsley, Gravesen and Weir.  Has bought players on a shoestring that 90% of Evertonian would have said "WHO THE HELL?" or "OH NO!" 

• Nigel 'past-it' Martyn
• Kevin 'can't play at home' Kilbane
• Tim Cahill (aka Samoan Sid)
• Mikel 'can't get a game at Sociedad' Arteta
• Marcus 'Championship-level Bent

All players who no-one thought would ever do anything at Everton, but all worth at least double the amount we paid for them, who have put in great performances for us on many occasions.

4)  Bill Kenwright

A: A power-mad moron, who loves the ego and power trip that comes with being Chairman of Everton FC; he has mis-managed the club every step of the way; bad appointment; terrible understanding of what a modern football club is all about.  Has lied to the fans time and again, must laugh his ass off over his G&T about how gullible and stupid Evertonians are to keep lining his pockets with HIS... — sorry their money.  No new stadium; no new academy; no new investment.  No chance of any of those things happening as long as Billy Liar has his fat gut under the table.

B: Not a rich man by football chairman standards, and at his time of life, probably not wanting to put most of the money he had in the world into his beloved Everton... but he did.  He invested millions into Everton when the club looked like it was going to the wall.  Presided over are greatest financial figures, which will be bettered next year, has turned a debt-ridden relic of football's past, into one of the 20 richest clubs in the world.  Has shown foresight in his appointment of David Moyes, and overseen Everton rapid growth in the world market. Cementing ties with the Thais giving us a far eastern presence, and now trying to give Everton a place in the lucrative North American market.  Fought off the attempts of Mr Gregg to get the club to take out huge loans to PAY HIM to build a new stadium.  Stopped the Fortress deal when it became clear that the £50M valuation of the club was hugely under valuing it (Aston Villa is valued at £94M).  Has fabulous news about new investment, which he will release at the AGM.

5)  Style over substance

A: Everton are the School of Science, known through out the land for playing fantastic football.  Moyes either doesn't get this, or is too stupid to understand.  We need to have 10 players on the pitch with skill and insight, not just one.  Until we get back to our roots of great, hugely talented XIs, we will never get anywhere.  Every hard-fought Dogs of War win is another step for this great club away from the elite.  If Dogs of War football was the way forward for Everton or any club, then Joe Royle would be celebrating his 5th league title and 2nd European cup triumph.  Have Man Utd, Arsenal or Chelsea won the league with Dogs of War?  We need to be a lot more Romeo and Juliet and a lot less Henry V.

B: Man Utd were the richest team in England through the 80s and most of the 70s, but never won the league never came close... WHY?  Simple really: while teams like Liverpool, Everton and Leeds only cared about getting as many points as possible, Utd had some deluded ideas about PLAYING THE UTD WAY, and entertaining the crowd.  Utd had the best team on paper; go look for yourself!  They had 16 internationals in the squad, but they had this misguided belief that certain football clubs have as a heritage.  That is that they play attractive attacking football — even if that means getting less points.  It took a dour Scotsman to rid Man Utd of the attractive attacking football shackles and turn them into a winning team.  If I want to see sexy football,  I will watch Barcelona or Real Madrid.  All I want is Everton back in the big time; if that means boring negative football with lots of cheating [it's good enough for Chelsea] then I'm 100% behind it.  Everton could become a footnote in history, unless we regularly achieve the levels we did last year.  I would hate to be an Everton fan while this happened; we would have failed all the legendary players of the past, and the greatest fans ever.

So did you go for mostly A or B?  All A's, not a lot of B's?  Or vice versa?  Maybe the great people of ToffeeWeb will turn this into a survey, and the thoughts and feelings of the majority of Evertonians will be known.  Not like there is a game for 2 weeks; I for one would get on board on either side if that was the thinking of the vast majority of EVERTONIANS.

Bob Roberts

Er... ToffeeWeb person speaking here: nice idea, and interesting juxtapositions... but I can't quite grasp the point you are trying to make — if there is one.  While there is gross exaggeration on each side to make your contrasting points, there are elements of truth, or the perception of reality in each of your Pop Quiz options.

So where does that leave us?  Yes, you may have done well to encompass the general spectrum of populist thinking, but I think where this falls down is the attempt to categorize these into a polarizing A or B selection.

Not that anyone will be interested, but the things I believe are shaded grey.  I see no real pattern, but I suspect most people will be equally divided, and could add their own statements on either side.  Is that the point you are trying to get across?  That anyone's view of proceedings to date can be cast as positive or negative — helped if you state it strong enough, exaggerate just a little, and and throw in a few unsubstantiated folk legends for good measure? 

I think the path to understanding is somewhere in the middle, weaving a tortuous path between understatement and hyperbole.  Ultimately between the positive and the negative.  It's obviously not easy to do because of the desire to perpetrate misinformation on either side of the debate.  I can't claim that we steer that middle path... but we try.

Now... let's figure out how we make this into a fun little quiz for the fans...

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