Fans Comment
Kevin Sparke

Once in Royal David's City
23 December 2005

…And it came to pass that in a place known as Goodison in the vale of Everton a great wailing and gnashing of teeth was heard.  The multitude spake as one:

‘David, David… why hast thou fucked up?’

David was silent and looked to his 11 disciples who muttered and looked slightly ashamed; but then gazed at their sports cars and mansions in Cheshire and felt better.

The disciple known as ‘Beattie of the eternal promise to score more goals, just you see’ held his hand to his ear and glowered at the multitude and the disciple known as ‘Wright of the butter fingers’ dropped his car keys, picked them up… and then dropped them again.

The multitude grew restless and began to depart forthwith but were turned from their path by the two wise men who had just arrived upon the scene.

The Wise Man known as Wyness spake unto them…

'I shall lead you all to the promised land in the shape of a brand new stadium… yea verily we shall build Jerusalem on Liverpool’s green and pleasant dockland'

The multitude did scoff and tore out their hair and mocked him and again spake as one:

‘You have the tongue of the serpent about you, have we not heard this tale before?  Oh bringer of falsehoods and maker of creative accounting.’

Then the Wise Man known as ‘Kenwright of the eternal love for all things blue’ hath lifted his hands and beseeched the multitude.

‘Friends… Have I not been faithful to you?... did I not sell the messiah for forty pieces of silver… erm sorry… thirty pieces of silver… erm 15 pieces of silver to save you all from damnation?  Repent!  Oh ungrateful ones for I love Everton more than you and don’t you forget it!... let me tell you of my love for Everton… well it all started when I was working on Corrie…’

The multitude groaned ripped up their season tickets and left the place of despair never to return again.

And lo, a lone voice was heard crying in the wilderness.... Saint Tony Marsh of Huyton:

‘Didn’t I tell youse all… but you wouldn’t listen… didn’t I though... you wouldn't listen would you?’

... a single tear fell and the frosty air was filled with the distant voices of 45,000 ghosts of good times gone... perhaps never to return...

Merry Xmas all (Especially Tony Marsh of the ToffeeWeb Mailbag!)

Kevin Sparke

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