The Nick Armitage Column
Columnist: Nick Armitage

Shell Shock
17 September 2005

Quite a few people have offered to wash my mouth out with soap for the colourful language that I use on my regular rants here and also in day-to-day life.  I will try not to swear here but I don’t feel that any sort of words, whether they be profanities or not, will be able to convey the utter dismay I felt after watching that game.  I still can’t believe what I saw; I just cannot believe what I saw!

This one topped the Tranmere game.  This one topped the Boro game.  This one topped the five-goal drubbing by Liverpool and it was also worse than that hammering Villa gave us.  I felt as bad as I did when Rooney left.  Everton Football Club was an utter embarrassment in front of the whole nation – yet again.  When we screw things up, we screw things up properly.

I honestly think that I would have had more balls on that pitch last night than any one of those Everton players.  Where did they go?  The whole team went missing for 25 minutes against a Dinamo Bucharest side who are inferior to Portsmouth. 

I take heart from knowing that the Romanians are well capable of shipping four goals away from home.  The problem is, there’s a greater chance of seeing monkeys fly out of my arse than there is of Everton scoring four in one match right now.

Blues everywhere are now calling for the heads of the board and management.  Despite the failings of both, the players have got to hold their hands up and take the blame squarely on the chin – they were a disgrace and not fit to wear a shirt that means so much to so many.

The tactics probably didn’t help and the lack of a strike-force certainly didn’t help but when international players earning salaries from the stratosphere cannot do the things that schoolboys are taught to do, what chance do we have?

Moyes says we aren’t in a crisis; I beg to differ.  The Oxford English Dictionary is apparently the definitive record of the English language so here’s what they say about a crisis:

crisis n. (pl. crises) 1 a a decisive moment. b a time of danger or great difficulty.  2 the turning point.  [from Greek krisis ‘decision’]

Are we or are we not witnessing a crisis?

In six weeks the team and management have thrown away the best opportunity the club have had for 20 years and wrecked a whole season – thanks lads.  Granted, those same fellas fashioned that opportunity themselves, but how bad was it for the fans to watch so much slip through their fingers? 

It’s about time the players and management stopped believing their hype and got back to basics.  It’s about time they stopped telling us what they’re going to just got out on the pitch and do it – talk is cheap and I’m sick of hearing the players spouting utter bullshit.  This boom and bust has got to end now.

If there is one positive to come out of last night it’s the fact that the playing and coaching staff were clearly hurt by that disgraceful performance.  They got what they deserved and unless they change their ways there will be plenty more results like that coming their way.  And understandably there will be fewer and fewer Evertonians there to see them.

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Nick Armitage

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