The Nick Armitage Column
Columnist: Nick Armitage

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more
10 January 2006

Duncan Ferguson: with 15 or stone on his back

To put it mildly, Duncan’s time at Everton has had its ups and downs.  I could write an article as long as Rob Fox about the burglar-battering, pigeon-fancying, FA Cup-winning, Kraut-smacking, drunken disorderly ex-con legend that is our Number 9.  He is as much a myth as a real man; we’ve all heard stories about him that couldn’t possibly be true, but most of them probably are.  His autobiography would be a corker but what are the chances of him writing one?

We can all safely say that Duncan should have played more games and scored more goals for us, but what’s done is done.  Irrespective of what he earned or what he could and should have achieved, he has scored some crackers for us and kept Everton in the Premiership on at least one occasion.  No matter what anyone else tells you, there is no goal like a Duncan Ferguson goal and he loves scoring as much as we love watching him score but like all the best things in life, we never did get enough of Big Dunc.

There aren’t many high-profile players like him who won’t talk to the media; some supporters felt let down by that but if you want to hear what he’s got to say just turn up to the match early and ask him.  He’ll bend over backwards for the real fans but you never read that in the Echo.  The papers don’t often tell you about the money he gives away to charity and the time he spends on good causes and that is because he doesn’t do it for PR reasons, he does it because he wants to.  Personally, I’m glad that at least one player has shown some integrity and taken a stand against the cult of personality that permeates and corrupts what has become of the game.

Whatever happens from hereon in, and like it or not, Duncan has already gone down in Everton folklore.  I hope those tired legs will last to the end of this season because when Duncan plays, Everton play.  Whatever playing time we get out of his battered frame now is a bonus and even if he has to take to the pitch on walking sticks, opposing centre-halves will still be shit-scared of him.

The only way defenders were ever able to stop Ferguson playing was to stop him jumping.  Imagine trying to jump with another fifteen or thirty stone climbing all over your back.  This is where all the niggling injuries have come from and sadly what was Duncan’s greatest strength ultimately turned out to be his Achilles heel.

The day will soon come when another injury will be one too many and the curtains will come down on his playing career.  Everton just won’t be the same without him and I for one will be absolutely gutted when he does go — there is no other man on earth who can replace him.  Thanks for the memories Dunc; as another hard man of football once said, “it’s been emotional.”

Nick Armitage

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