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An Evening with Alan Ball

The original idea for this piece came from a rather sorry play about Everton’s ultimate “one season wonder” (Gary Lineker). Unfortunately, tragic events concerning Everton’s ultimate “icon” are what has inspired me to finally write it……

I’ve never really been one for heroes. As a child I guess they were Duncan Mackenzie and Bob Latchford. My first Everton kit (umbro diamonds down the sleeves and shorts) had 10 on the back, and after a tour of Goodison with the cub scouts, I returned home with several grotty bars of soap collected from the giant baths in the players’ changing rooms. I couldn’t wait for my own bath that night, but god only knows what my mum thought with me washing away with something that had probably been round half of the Everton teams’ “nads”. At University, I was once in a Student Council meeting where we all had to talk about our heroes, or people we greatly admired. The “trendy lefties” waxed lyrical about Nelson Mandela, Bobby Sands and Mother Theresa…….I was looked at with incredulity when I said Paul Bracewell, because he’d had a serious ankle injury but was now back in the Everton first team !

People say that you should never meet your heroes, because you’ll only be disappointed. I can’t comment on, for example, Andy Johnson, but by all accounts, kids running round with “Gerrard” on their shirts, or even worse, “Rooney” would surely be let down. Even Liverpool fans I’ve bothered to talk to say that Gerrard is absolutely miserable, and enough said about the latter !

However, I did meet the closest thing to my hero, and it was one of the best nights of my life, an evening I’ll forever treasure. Born in 1968, I was too young to see Bally play for Everton. However, Evertonians of a slightly older vintage have always described him as the “finest player to wear the royal blue jersey”, and my best mate’s dad confirmed it, so it’s gospel ! Plus, in the Liver Birds, Nerys Hughes’ character had an Alan Ball picture on her bedroom wall, and she was far more attractive and classy than the tramps she had as side-kicks. So even though all I’ve known are clips on the Everton History Video and photos of the “white boots”, Bally was the one for me.

Whilst working for Kellogg’s in 2001, an opportunity came up to sponsor a Caravan Charity Sportsman’s Dinner the following year. The event was at the National Football Museum at Preston North End, and in World Cup Year it was the only occasion when all the members of the 1966 World Cup Winning Squad would be together. We were running a World Cup promotion (Buy two boxes of cereal, get a “footbowl” free : you may still have one in the cupboard) so it tied in nicely. The sponsorship was expensive, but I agreed to do it. Then came the cunning plan. He who “pays the piper calls the tune”, so I arranged that on my table would be Alan Ball as our 66 guest, sat between myself, and the Kellogg’s MD who supported Southampton.

It worked a treat ! Bally was pleased with his hosts, and I was delighted. He was wonderful. A truly great guy. Humble, humorous and entertaining. Each player was asked to say a few words and Bally stood up and said “I’m the after dinner squeaker !” Selfish as it may be, I monopolised him for three hours. I’d read his autobiography years earlier, so I knew a lot about his career. At one point I think he thought I was a stalker when I was correcting him about Everton history in which he’d been a part ! But the red wine flowed and we talked Everton all night. My favourite line was when talking about sixties derbies, and he described how “we used to murder them every-time” !! We reminisced about when he was Pompey manager and they came to Goodison for an early kick off (due to the national), and agreed that their fluorescent away kit was one of the worst of all time.

Clearly a devoted family man, he asked me about my children, and I said I had a little girl called Eve. He couldn’t believe it when I said that my wife chose the name and it was nothing to do with Everton (but my daughter loves it when we’re on the box and her name is in the corner of the screeen !). We’d also just had our son, and I expressed my fears that he might not follow me as an Evertonian because of how Everton were struggling.

Everyone on the night was given a video of the 66 World Cup Final, and most people were getting as many players to sign it as possible. Not for me ! I only wanted Bally to sign it. I asked him to put my baby boy’s name on it to encourage him as he grew up, and he wrote : To William, be a Blue, Alan Ball (Everton). Awesome ! One guy had gone round that night giving each player a caricature that he’d drawn himself. About 11.30 pm, Bally turned to me and said “what’s your little boys name again?”, then produced his caricature and wrote on it : To William, Best Wishes, Alan Ball (Everton). A completely spontaneous and genuine gesture from a truly amazing man. He was patient and charming to everyone. When other players had retired to the hotel, or gone home early, Alan Ball was still there, chatting to people and signing autographs.

So a fabulous evening drew to a close, or did it ?

The Kellogg team were staying at the same hotel as the 66 players, and when I got back, Bally was still at the bar. Naturally, I got talking to him again, and I can’t remember how the time went. Eventually the bar closed, and the only ones left standing were me, Alan, and a lady who’d helped organise the evening. Laugh if you want, but I didn’t want it to end. I scuttled off to my room, emptied the mini bar and brought the miniature whiskeys back ! At 4.30am, even Bally had had enough. He stood up, put his arm around my shoulder and said “ I’ve never been looked after so well, you’re a real good un” and off to bed he went (no, I didn’t follow !) Boy did I have a desperate hangover at 8.30 when I walked into our management meeting…..

So that was it, my evening with Alan Ball. They say you should never meet your heroes, and for almost everyone it’s true, but my hero was Alan Ball. The finest player to wear the royal blue jersey. My corporate benefactor has smiled on me again, and I’m going to St George’s Hall for the Players Awards Night on May 8th. I was hoping to see Bally again and show him a photo of my son, now aged five with his Everton shirt saying “Will 5” on the back. Bally must have met thousands of people each year, but I know he would have remembered. It’s just the kind of guy he was. In an era when the word has been chronically misused, Alan Ball truly was the genuine article, a Legend.

Responses:

What a wonderful account of a great night with the great man! It is so, so sad that he left us at such a relatively young age. I recall meeting him at Howard Kendall's wedding in Preston in 1970 before the Mexico World Cup. I still treasure his autograph to this day!
Steave Pearce

Steve Smith, you have made one bloke very happy upon reading your account about your special evening with "the Legend". I never got the chance to meet him personally but I will always remember the first game that I saw him play as a young boy.It was against W.B.A at the Hawthorn's and I was mesmerised.I have loved him and the team ever since.Thanks Steve, it's good to know that Allan Ball, by the sounds of it, was as good off the field as he was a master on it.
Neville White

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