An Evertonian more seasoned than I once mused that "they always beat us when it matters." I, like every Blue alive I'm sure, was so desperate for that depressing refrain to be changed today it was like a primal urge that sat in the gut all week. I hate the derby at the best of times but this was as good an opportunity as we have had to beat Liverpool in any game in years let alone a Wembley showpiece.
The script seemed already written: Liverpool in chaos; Everton in the best form of the season with David Moyes in his 10th year in charge at Goodison desperate ? destined, we all wanted to believe ? to mark that decade with his first trophy and end the Blues' 17 year run without silverware. The problem was that Everton blew their lines.
A goal up and in the driving seat at half time, this game was Moyes's side to go on and win but what was, in truth, a less than convincing first-half display fell away further in the second, culminating in a horrendous, game-changing error by Sylvain Distin just past the hour mark from which Everton never really recovered.
And there were further self-inflicted, critical wounds inflicted in the dying minutes when a clumsy tackle by Seamus Coleman sent Steven Gerrard crashing to the turf wide on Liverpool's left and Marouane Fellaini again betrayed his defensive vulnerability by completely losing sight of the ball for the resulting free kick as Andy Carroll leapt highest to divert the winner past Howard off the back of his head.
Utter despair was written across the faces of the massed ranks of faithful Blues who had made the long trek down from Merseyside. I'll wager few could quite believe it ? once again the bridesmaid to Liverpool and never the bride. Somehow they really do find a way to beat us when it really matters.
If both sides were honest they'd admit that neither played particularly well. For Kenny Dalglish's men, who could probably only count the Anfield derby as a good performance in 2012 thus far, that might have been expected but most Evertonians would have been hoping for more from their team than they got, coming into this semi-final as they were on the back of four wins in five, a hatful of goals and playing some really eye-catching football.
Nowhere to be found was the incisive passing and relentless pressing game that destroyed Sunderland in the quarter-final replay or the self-assured attacking machine that thrashed the same team 4-0 in the Premier League on Monday. Instead, a disjointed display unfolded with far too many long, wasted punts from the back from Tim Howard and a slew of misplaced passes in midfield, Darron Gibson the chief offender in the early going.
Chances were at a premium throughout but Jay Spearing side-footed over from Carroll's cut-back early on and Martin Skrtl saw a tame effort saved by Howard while Leighton Baines despatched a direct free kick a foot over at the other end before Leon Osman wasted a wonderful counter-attacking opportunity with an underhit throughball that could have released Nikica Jelavic.
It was Everton who eventually settled into a spell of dominance midway through the first half, though, and after Jelavic had seen an overhead kick caught by Brad Jones, the Croatian profited from a defensive mix-up to put the Blues into the lead after 23 minutes. Confusion between Jamie Carragher and Daniel Agger ended with the latter's clearance bouncing off Tim Cahill and into Jelavic's path and he made no mistake by slotting a clean, low finish past the 'keeper.
The Blue half of Wembley Stadium erupted and went into raucous party mode but the attempt to go for the jugular never came and the goal did little to change the Blues' performance. Indeed, they almost pushed the self-destruct button when John Heitinga gifted possession in front of his own area but his profligacy went unpunished.
On the disciplinary side in the first half, Distin was harshly booked for a check on Suarez while off-the-ball skirmishes between the Uruguayan and Heitinga culminated in Suarez rugby-tackling the Dutch defender to the ground without referee Howard Webb even batting an eyelid.
And when the official was moved to intervene when Jelavic and Skrtl clashed after the latter had put a knee into the former's chest and then left his boot on the Croatian's hip, Webb deigned to book both.
Nevertheless, half-time, 1-0, so far so good.
Unfortunately, Everton started the second half on the back foot and never really got going again for the remainder of the match. Carroll somehow missed a backpost header that should have yielded an equaliser less than two minutes after the restart and more suicidal tendencies in the Blues' defence would hand the Reds' a way back into the match.
A scuffed back-pass by Distin gifted the ball to Luis Suarez and as dispicable a character as the Uruguayan is, he is too good to pass up an opporutunity like that and with the French defender watching aghast and helpless from the touchline he raced away to slide the equaliser under Tim Howard.
Back to parity with it all still to play for, though, the goal failed to galvanise Everton into upping their game. Though Jones was showing some discomfort at high balls into his area, the level of service was disappointing from Everton.
His performance at Sunderland hinted that Gueye could be an able replacement for Steven Pienaar if he is in the mood but today he looked off the pace and ordinary with almost no understanding between the young Frenchman and Baines down Everton's left flank. Cahill, too, was disappointing, failing to link up often enough with Jelavic while Fellaini never consistently took advantage of the license that Gibson's presence normally gives him to dictate things going forward.
It was all just flat and reminiscent of Everton at their stodgy, frustrating worst this season and it was only the tireless and battered Jelavic's own ingenuity that created two of the Blues' few openings in the second period.
First he drove through the centre before trying a 25-yard shot that sliced wide and later, after the Reds had leveled the score, he whipped a left-foot effort into the side-netting that had many Evertonians momentarily thinking he had scored. Jones was really only tested just once after half-time, though, when Osman hammered a 20-yarder that the 'keeper parried and then gathered.
Coleman came off the bench to replace Gueye with 22 minutes to go but he offered none of the unpredictability and pace that Royston Drenthe might have provided (the Dutch winger wasn't even in the squad) and after another suicide pass had created an opening for Carroll that he screwed wide of the far post, Liverpool eventually scored the winner from a needless and poorly-defended set-piece.
The winner came late and, frankly, even in desperation, Everton could do little productive in attack and, after Maxi Rodriquez squandered the chance to rub salt in the wounds by hitting the post when it seemed easier to score, Dalglish's side ran down the clock by the corner flag as despondent Blues started to make their way out of the stadium to start dealing with another gut-wrenching derby loss.
So, there was to be no second Final in three years for Moyes and Everton, no fairytale tenth anniversary trophy and no vindication for his controversial team selection at Anfield last month. Three times these two sides have met this season and Liverpool have won each time, prompting much soul-searching and questioning of just what kind of psychological barrier is preventing the manager's teams from beating what is a poor team by their standards.
Post-mortem second-guessing is probably worthless, though. Yes, in hindsight, Gueye was probably the wrong choice to start but he more than earned his place in the recent games against Sunderland. Distin and Heitinga have formed a formidable partnership in the centre of Everton's defence; it's just unfortunate that former's two worst performances have come against the enemy from across the Park. You can't legislate for an awful error as the one with which the Frenchman gifted Suarez the equaliser; certainly Phil Jagielka has been guilty of the same error in the past.
The blame should be shared by everyone. They came well-prepared, fit and in confident mood but, just as they did against Chelsea here in 2009, the players let themelves down on the day. As with that ultimately depressing Final, the Blues threw away a 1-0 lead and questions will be asked about Everton's big-game mentality ? after all, despite those treasuried memories of a dramatic penalty shooutout, it shouldn't be forgotten that the team was poor for 120 minutes in the semi-final against Manchester United as well.
The task now is for Moyes to pick his players up ahead of the trip to Old Trafford as they seek to finish as high as they can in the Premier League. Such is the Club's desperation for cash that every place will count. It won't make up for more Wembley heartache but a seventh-place finish would be small consolation at least for a season that threatened to be an awful lot worse than it has turned out to be.
Today, though, will be hard to forget. This was supposed to be our time.
Man of the Match: Nikica Jelavic
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