I love Everton, I really do; from a very early age, I was hooked. Me, my dad, and my two brothers would hardly miss a game through the 1980s. I still feel extremely honoured to witness, firsthand, my team winning the league.... twice.

I often hear fans exclaiming "These where the good old days... Football has changed!" And who can argue with them, it’s hard not to agree. However, there has been one extremely important ritual that stays true and loyal to the game; it has been a small island of tradition in an vast all-consuming contemporary business ocean... A bubble of air in a intoxicated atmosphere, that no matter how many seats are erected, how many corporate boxes are filled, and how many vogue covers are shot it has never fallen foul of the football cash-cow: football has never lost it’s voice... I am, of course, eluding to the chants, the sounds of the terraces.

There has always been a vocal war of words with a wide spectrum of topics, ranging from signature tunes for players to disgruntled chants at the boardroom. Most of the songs these days are a lot cleaner and morally acceptable than those of the bobble-hat era; however, teams have become more industrious behind the scenes and to be quite honest there are some are real belters. Not forgetting that some songs have remained and still done the job they intended to do back then, for example,’ you don’t no what you doin.......’ ’Who are ya..who are ya...’ And so on.

"Get to the point!!!" I hear you say... so I will: Over the summer, and with a lack of football blatantly apparent, me and a really close friend and excellent Evertonian sat down and I explained that I was disgusted with the lack of novel songs attached to Everton Football Club.

"Outrageous!!!" I hear you cry!!

What about ’If You Know Your History’ and ’The Banks of the Royal Blue Mersey’? Yes, yes these are traditional songs that ingrain our very being; however, I am talking about signature songs for players played out to the local cultured tune, eg, Yellow Submarine &Team of Carraghers; Joy Division & Giggs Will Tear You Apart, and all that. We may despise these teams but you have to give them credit when it comes to creating songs for the players and their team.

And don’t get me started on plagiarism; I hate nothing more than stealing other teams’ novel tunes and adapting them to our players, eg, ’Jelavic... Nika... Jelavic’ to Arsenal’s Sami Nasri song. And especially "Ohhhh Kevin Mirallas’ to Benteke’s ’Come on Blues’.

We are one of the most diverse cultures in the country, with charisma to burn and a history of humour that could make Jeremy Paxman smile, so why the lack of tunes!! I believe we rely too heavily on the traditional ones; your memories should never outgrow your dreams.

I was overjoyed at the weekend not because we drew 2-2 but because, finally, we have an alternative song that builds up and maintains its vigour for a period of time... I am talking about the ’Allez, Allez, Allez Oooohhh!!’ chant; pure class!! (Forgive me if the spelling is incorrect.) This is something we have needed for a long time.

So my article is more of a plea, a request or a challenge to all Evertonians to get together in pubs, homes, work and bus shelters to put us right back were we belong in the vocal league. Make them funny, individualistic, sentimental anything... just get them down, send them to websites, print them and hand them out before the game. Rumour has it, that Lescott wasn’t happy because he never had a song I reckon this is the real reason why he left! So, before we lose Baines, I have created this song for him, to the tune of local band The Real Thing & You To Me Are Everything:

We don’t see what you can see,
Our greatest ever Number Three...
Oh Bainesy, Oh Bainesy

Always there with a dead-ball goal,
Your ten times better than Ashley Cole...
Oh Bainesy, Oh Bainesy

You give us all a taster ball,
To build our hopes upon,
Your left peg’s got the power boy,
To keep us moving on.

Now you’ve shown your best to me,
We all can see what you can see,
Oh Bainesy, Oh Bainesy...

[Repeat to fade...]
If you like it, copy it and print it out send it to websites and let’s get it sung. I will endeavour to create more and so should we all. ps: I reckon we should sing Seamus Coleman’s name to the tune of Sam and Dave’s classic, Soul Man:


Seamus Cole.......man, do oh, do oh.......
Seamus Cole.......man, do oh, do oh

Get thinking... and remember you can make a song for whoever.

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Reader Comments (48)

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David Ellis
1 Posted 23/08/2013 at 07:36:32
I first heard the Yellow Submarine song in the 2002 World Cup applied by the Irish to Gary Breen

"All we want is a team of Gary Breens..etc"

Did that pre-date the Carragher version? Breen works somewhat better methinks.

Ollie Bradley
3 Posted 23/08/2013 at 11:39:54
Seamus song has potential, Baines one far too long winded and complicated, but a simplified version like would probably work

"you to me are everything the sweetest left back in the league, oh bainesyyy, oh bainesyy. And when you're running down the wing, I just can't help myself but sing, Oh bainesyyyy, oh bainesyyy"

It's true though whilst we do the classics to a particularly high standard, and that isn't to be tampered with, we don't have much by way of good personalised songs!

Big fan of "allez allez allez ohhh" , one of those what I wander round the house singing

Kev Prytherch
5 Posted 23/08/2013 at 14:59:42
Kaiser Chiefs 'Never Miss a Beat' is on in the background. Got me thinking, if we still had Beattie up front........

Take a look at Baines on the wing, No he never misses Beatts, never misses Beatts, Never misses Beatts etc.

Sadly it doesn't work for Jelavic or Kone.....

Tony Draper
6 Posted 23/08/2013 at 15:49:27
I've always thought that the old TV theme choon for "Robin Hood" (The "William Tell Overture") would make an ace "Lord Leighton of Baines" song. The words are:

Leighton Baines, Leighton Baines
Leighton Leighton Baines
Leighton Baines, Leighton Baines
Leighton Leighton Baines
Lord Leighton Baines
Lord Leighton of Baines!
Leighton Baines... Leighton Baines... Leighton Baines...

(Tho' I'm sure that this is a complete rip-off of the Leighton James song from the dark distant past.)

Just a general comment: modern footie songs are extremely short and repetetive, 'cos modern music is monosyllabic and bloody repetetive

Brian Denton
7 Posted 23/08/2013 at 16:09:39
'History' ie Grand Old Team is not our song, it's Celtic's. Just out of interest can anybody recall it being sung by Everton before Sky invented football in 1992? I certainly can't, not once, and I've been going to matches home and away since the mid sixties.
Brian Denton
8 Posted 23/08/2013 at 16:12:07
Tony, that ain't the William Tell Overture. The William Tell Overture was used for a programme I watched as a kid. It was called......William Tell.

Robin Hood used its own tune written for the programme (as kids we used our own words: "Robin Hood saw a nude/Riding through the glen/Friar Tuck ran like fuck/To tell the merry men/.....etc")

Jim Potter
11 Posted 23/08/2013 at 16:18:46
Enjoyed the article Steven - and to me your spot on.

We have a very limited repetoire that needs enlarging. Away games - everything is fine singing wise, but home games are so quiet nowadays.

We need to make Goodison a loud and intimidating place for teams to visit.

New songs would definitely help.

Perhaps ToffeeWeb could help organised this? Then, when we have a few good uns - they can be voted on, pushed out, and shared with other websites and Everton forums? Then introduced.

David S Shaw
12 Posted 23/08/2013 at 16:58:46
I disagree with the premise of this article. Everton do, and always have had, a lot of songs and creativity. New songs have never been a problem.

The problem has always been in getting the new songs established amongst the masses.

Barry Rathbone
13 Posted 23/08/2013 at 16:40:01
Steven, well done for trying.

In my opinion pre 80s fans knew hymns and ballads of old as part and parcel of their growing up and coming from the same streets (unlike today) had a common basis to form songs.

Contemporary music doesn't lend itself very well with only 2 words and 4 grunts per song and no-one knows hymns anymore.

Don't know the answer to be honest, Utd and Liverpool seem to have groups of fans who actively write stuff but they should have hot pokers thrust down their gobs so fuckin' dire is the contrived cliched shite.

Perhaps reflecting the communal aspect lost among Prem clubs most popular chants/songs seem to originate from the lower division sides these days.

Antony Matthews
14 Posted 23/08/2013 at 17:17:23
Duncan , Duncan Ferguson, was always a song that fits the name.....short and belted out it was superb as was Super Super Kev Super Kevin Campbell ( which incidently fits Kev Mirallas). Songs need to be Short and catchy not longwinded otherwise all sides of the ground get outta sync.
Ray Roche
15 Posted 23/08/2013 at 17:36:58
Brian Denton

That used to be the yardstick for someone regarding themselves as an intellectual...they could listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of the Lone Ranger....
Always amused me was the bride who had asked for the Bryan Adams music used in Robin Hood Prince of Thieves as she walked down the aisle. She got the music from Robin Hood, you know, "riding through the glen" from the vicar who was...er...a little behind the times.

Richard Tarleton
16 Posted 23/08/2013 at 18:54:38
One problem:"our greatest ever number three". I saw Ray Wilson play.
Stephen Birch
17 Posted 23/08/2013 at 20:23:32
I completely agree with you Steven, I find the atmosphere at Goodison has been pretty flat for a few years. I used to be a Season Ticket holder in the Lower Gwladys and when we had a song for every player and would sing at them during the warm up, that was often the best part of the day back then! I like ideas you have suggested, but maybe the Bainesy one needs shortening slightly. I really think The Seamus Coleman one should be introduced by the faithful.
Kevy Quinn
18 Posted 23/08/2013 at 21:20:56
Ross Barkley Barkley, he's better than Stevie Gee, he's better than Rooney. Ross Barkley Barkley. To the sound of We're going to Wembley.
Brian Garside
19 Posted 23/08/2013 at 21:04:15
Agree on atmosphere having gone flat singing wise. It has become repetative which detracts somewhat. When the crowd get its act together then the bodyhair rises as the shivers rampage through the body. Back in the 70s in the middle of the "Street End" it need only a couple of loud,(drunken), lads to start a chant and everyone around would pick up on it,if it was anygood. Occasionaly there would be a good one which would sadly most often forgotten two weeks later. Having chants for players has been an integrell part of the match experience for me and played a huge part in the nurturing of my undying devotion to the blue cause.Bobby Latchford walks on water . We all agree Duncan Mcenzie is magic. Oh Andy is our King. Lyons for England. Yes we really sang that. More for encouragement effect but isn't that the point? Is that not why we sing their names? It I our way of lifting them to greater heights. To lift their performance by finding an extra yard of pace to make the goal saving tackle with an out streached toe. To BUILD confidence so that they dare go past their marker. Those players who have loved us and stayed blue have experinced this support which ,unlike others, comes from the very soul from all ide of the ground. All for the glory of EFC. All evertonians have singing in their hearts. What we need is a strong and vociferous St End to take the lead. I promise that the rest of the ground,particulally the Upper bullens, as it it filled by aging former St Enders, will be quick on the uptake. We should not need anger and frustration to get us going but the joy of sing the team to victory.
Im now off to take my pills and suck my thumb whilst curled up baby like!!!
Danny Broderick
20 Posted 23/08/2013 at 22:08:23
I've had this song in my head all evening now! If I can just change one verse:

'Ashley Cole is just a clown
Whose finished now that you're around
Oh Bainesy! Oh Bainesy!

Barry Rathbone
21 Posted 23/08/2013 at 22:52:27
Based on the chorus of "my old man's a dustman" for Seamus you can fenagle this to the tune if you've had a few cans.

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8HSEIf8o5g) chorus starts atout 36 secs

oh We've got Seamus Coleman

he's faster than the cat, 60 grand cor blimey

so whaddya think of that?

an irish blue we always need cos most of us are micks

now can you hear us chanting?

his feet can do card tricks


(and repeat)

Forgive me lads had a bit of time on me hands, can never resist a ditty.

Patrick Murphy
22 Posted 23/08/2013 at 23:32:02
To the tune of Nick Nack Paddy-wack
Not quite Eurovision I'll grant you - but then again?

We've won nine next it's ten

Everton's on the move again

Born Evertonians we dare to dream

Roaring on the blue boys in Roberto's team

Richard Reeves
23 Posted 24/08/2013 at 01:03:05
I've always liked those sort of tribal chants that you get over in Italy, when there's someone orchestrating from the front. Okay, I wouldn't be keen on someone annoying with a speaker system but after they say whatever it is that they're saying and then there's this almighty chant like something from the Zulu films it's very intimidating. I'd like us to adopt something like that.
Paul Columb
24 Posted 24/08/2013 at 03:16:25
How about this one....easy, cause you can sing it to any tune that pops into your head:
'Davey Moyes...you're a twat'
Dominic Tonge
25 Posted 24/08/2013 at 03:23:40
Erm.....

Shake it up, Bainsey now,
Twist and shoot.

Is this about the level?
Ciaran Duff
26 Posted 24/08/2013 at 03:43:50
Personally, I think TW should have a separate (potential) Songs & Chants section.
My one, off the top of my head, to the tune of Justin Bieber's Baby (popular with young folk I believe) :-

Davey, Davey, Davey Who?
I said Davey, Davey, Davey Who?

Eddie McBride
29 Posted 24/08/2013 at 08:46:39
As a youth I could never understand why we never adopted Blue bayou as our anthem
. I still have nightmares involving B Ks big fat gittish face appearing on the jumbotron ( streaming with tears of insincerity ) as the street end knock out this Orbison classic.
David S Shaw
32 Posted 24/08/2013 at 10:16:54
n Garside, what were some of those you mentioned that were forgotten a couple of weeks late? Quite often these are our more interesting ones.

Do you recall our Ugly Duckling one as well by any chance? Think it was about one of our ugly neighbours?

Kev Prytherch
33 Posted 24/08/2013 at 11:14:30
He's big, he's hard, he's better than Ste Gerrard
Fellaini, Fellaini

(To the tune of Vindaloo, the Fat Les Classic!!!!)
Jelavic,, Jelavic, Jelavic Jelavic Na Naa
Jelavic,, Jelavic, Jelavic Jelavic Na Naa
Jelavic, Jelavic, And we all love Jelavic
We're Gonna score one more than you

Fergus McCarthy
34 Posted 24/08/2013 at 18:30:02
It seems with our Chairman we should borrow anthems from some shows. This is the crowd anthem from Les Miserable with words adapted:

Do you hear the people sing?
Singing a song of Goodison?
It is the music of a people
Who will win and win again!
When the beating of your heart
Echoes the beating of the drums
Then we know at Everton
That Glory comes!

Tony Draper
35 Posted 24/08/2013 at 19:03:15
To KC & The Sunshine Band "Shake Shake Shake":

Shay Shay Shay!
Shay Shay Shay!
Seamus Coleman! Seamus Coleman!
Shay Shay Shay!
Shay Shay Shay!
Seamus Coleman! Seamus Coleman.

Peter Thistle
36 Posted 24/08/2013 at 19:22:10
That Coleman / soul man idea is a goodun, hope it catches on.
I've thought for years that we have possibly the least chants of all the teams, which is why opposition support give us stick for it. Wish we had some gooduns like Celtic's Just can't get enough or Sheffield United's Greasy chip butty song. Sadly our best efforts are to rip off other chants like the woeful and annoying Whoooa Kevin Mirallas chant, I f'cking hate that.
Mike Keating
37 Posted 24/08/2013 at 21:15:37
Couldn't give a toss for pre rehearsed songs like this - prefer the off the cuff stuff which has some wit attached to it and then disappears quite quickly but PLEASE can we get rid of Z Cars?
It was a theme tune to a police series set in 1960s Kirby and it was shite then - although it did get into the charts - and it is shiter now.
I hate You'll Never Walk Alone because I associate it with that lot (even though they stole it too) but you have to admit it is a stirring anthem whereas Z Cars is nothing more than a tune. Any suggestions to go with our new badge?
Tony Draper
38 Posted 25/08/2013 at 11:33:51
Change Z-Cars ?

Don't stop there, why don't we change our name to Red Dragons, start playing in red and have "LadyBoy" cheerleaders to attract "floating fans" the Far East?

Mike Keating
39 Posted 25/08/2013 at 14:56:06
Not my point Tony
What do you really think of z Cars as an anthem?
Almost as bad as the Robin Hood theme tune played at Notts Forest IMHO
Phil Sammon
40 Posted 25/08/2013 at 15:04:54
Mike

There is a reason Z-Cars is played, and although its a shite reason, the song is now our own.

I think if we ditched Z-Cars the uproar surrounding the badge would pale into insignificance by comparison.

And yeah, I love it! Hairs on the back of your neck stuff. No way should we lose it.

Barry Rathbone
41 Posted 25/08/2013 at 15:20:51
GET RID OF Z CARS???

Been some corkers out this weekend.

Kev Johnson
42 Posted 25/08/2013 at 15:25:57
Barry - any chance of you writing a ditty that the lads could run out to? Your Cahill didgeridoo song was a hoot! The lines "It's legal there, / so why do they hide it under the stair?" seem to have permanently lodged themselves in my mind. Ha-ha! Great stuff.
Barry Rathbone
43 Posted 25/08/2013 at 15:34:45
Kev, I will put my mind to it I have a few ideas churning.

Tony Draper
44 Posted 25/08/2013 at 17:33:41
Barry, I was being deliberately OTT, but still NO WAY !

Z-Cars is synonymous with Everton as Phil Sammon says, "And yeah, I love it! Hairs on the back of your neck stuff. No way should we lose it."

Thanks Phil !

Steve Carse
45 Posted 25/08/2013 at 20:13:24
Brian Denton, like you I can't recall ever having heard GOT until the last 20 years or so, but if you get hold of the videos/CDs of the championship winning seasons in the 80s you'll hear it being sung loud and clear.
Ross Edwards
46 Posted 25/08/2013 at 20:25:13
Well Mike Keating, if you want to get rid of Z-Cars you can replace it with something reflective of Kenwright's shambolic running of the club.

Like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Kn-mpn6Or4

Mike

If we got rid of Z-Cars it would take away part of what makes Everton and GP a magical place to go to. The goosebumps and the chill down the spine you get when you hear it before matchday is something you can't get with any other tune.

The experience of that magic you get at Goodison would be gone if we got rid of Z-Cars.

Paul Gladwell
47 Posted 25/08/2013 at 20:26:37
Steve, I may be wrong but I don't recall it getting sung then, those DVDs from that era also carry commentary that has been dubbed from nowadays Radio City do the same on those past commentaries for the rock and goal years instead of using the old original Tyldsley commentarys.
Tony Draper
49 Posted 25/08/2013 at 20:38:13
GOT as I understand was in fact a Rangers song originally, however, following some event significant to Glasgow football the Celtic fans "took it over" as an admonishment to their beloved if cheeky rivals

I for one have never considered it as an Everton copyright original
(and frankly the cheap "banjo twanging pub band" version played over the PA makes my toes curl, different matter when the crowd give it some however)

Mike Keating
50 Posted 25/08/2013 at 22:27:28
Okay, guys, I give up you win. You get magic and goose bumps and I just don't get it it's a poor tune from a good TV show from 1962 which got to Number 5 in the pop charts.

I've been going to Goodison Park for 50 years this season so I know it's part of the furniture but I just think it is not an anthem to be proud of. If it gets played at my funeral, I will come back and haunt my family and friends forevermore.

Ross Edwards
51 Posted 25/08/2013 at 22:39:35
What song do you recommend Mike?
Philip Roberts
52 Posted 25/08/2013 at 22:59:38
Mike Keating,

Mike Walker thought the same as you...

He didn't have a fucking clue either
Tony Draper
53 Posted 26/08/2013 at 00:25:22
Mike, no-one is running down your Evertonianism, mate, just the quality of the hairs on yer neck!

Plus, if you have to come back and haunt, why not find some other targets?

Perhaps that friendless crowd that unless otherwise encouraged see ambling aimlessly around about in drizzle as a supreme challenge?

Just a consideration?

Mike Keating
55 Posted 26/08/2013 at 09:36:08
Ross - good question
Phil - I went to Mike Walkers first game in charge at Bolton and he didn't have clue .... About football
Tony - I'm getting a neck transplant
Steven Wilson
56 Posted 26/08/2013 at 13:33:17
Thanks for all the negative and positive responses, this is exactly why I wrote the article. One thing we have to remember, like it or not, winning or losing we go the match for the love of Everton. However we all know it's an escapism from the everyday grind of our chosen professions. But this aside, win, lose or draw, we should be enjoying this age-old activity that makes us feel apart of something grand.

Never lose your collective voice or expressionism, as this gives us a collective belonging that can only be found in very unique corners of society around the world!! I do believe the suggestion that ToffeeWeb could devote some page time to this for suggestions is vital to move this forward.

Tony Draper
57 Posted 27/08/2013 at 19:55:23
I thought that I'd added this link on Saturday

Written and performed be a real BlueBlood
This used to be played at halftime as the teams ran out

I'd love it brought back
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LV_LFUnjC0g

Nick Edwards
58 Posted 22/09/2013 at 01:16:37
Which players do we actually have songs for and what are they?

Jelavic - know that one
Howard - 2 - U.S.A U.S.A and ohh timmy timmy, timmy timmy timmy timmy f#*k off howard

Who else has an established song?

We need one for Lukaku. I think I heard roma - romelu, roma - romelu - roma - romelu, romelu lukaku! on the radio today. we need something better than that surely?

Bainesy - sheedy, sheedy, sheedy was good enough for our last great left foot. Bainsey, Bainesy every time we get a free kick would do for me!

Kone?

Delofou?

Barkley? liked the one on this thread but it needs work. Ross Barkley, barkley, is better than Stevie G, makes rooney look ordinary, the greatest since our Dixie, Ross Barkley Barkley.


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