Colm's Corner
Columnist: Colm Kavanagh

Grimm Fairy Tales?
16 July 2004

Goodison Park: Old Lady

There’s an epic story to tell in there somewhere, you know…

The tale of a man who would be King of Goodison but with his pockets now emptied he could not satiate the desires of the fickle masses who cried out for more.  Even when the cupboard was lade bare for all to see.  Please Sir, can we have some more perhaps…?

The tale of a Boy who is destined to be King; but will it be at his beloved Goodison Park at the behest of an ever loyal fanbase?  Or away from The Old Lady — no thanks to the greasy paw of Stretford…?

The tale of a manager who inspired upon arrival only to fall foul of those well-paid players he needed to inspire?  A man now reportedly on Manager’s Death Row, watching the sands of time erode his control.

The tale of deep pockets waiting in the wings for the chance to ride into town with the golden ticket and a new lease of life for our ailing Club…

The ingredients are all there, crossing over each other, turning twisting and turning again in typical Everton fashion, making things none the wiser!

We now have a Chairman who loves Everton – and the Everton Way Of Life – dearly.  No one can doubt Bill Kenwright’s love for our Club.  Some would champion such a figure sitting in the Chair.  Ideally, I think all Evertonians value the importance of the Club being chaired by such an Evertonian. 

However, it’s not that long ago that Leeds United fans were singing the praises of their then chairman, man of the people: Mr. Ridsdale himself.  We know how that panned out!  It’s very hard to be critical of a man who has searched high and low for investment; a man who has given it his best shot to turn matters around at Everton. 

But, harsh as it may well be, the fact remains that Everton as a business is in more of a mess than ever before.  Worse than during the reign of Johnson the despicable Red!  I remain amazed when reading Evertonians suggesting we should buy this player and that player.  Fact is we are more skint than people care to truly appreciate and fully grasp.  Up the creek with no paddle ain’t much fun.  Particularly after you’ve invested all you had (and then some). 

When you consider the overwhelming sense of pride we Evertonians of ALL nationalities felt with the performances of that young Rooney chap in the recent European Championships, you would imagine that our Chairman would be rent-a-quote.  Instead, the silence has been deafening.  Why, Bill?

Wayne Rooney, in modern day football speak, is POUND SIGNS.  From putting bums on seats, selling season tickets, to his ever-expanding array of personal endorsements, he stands to make an absolute fortune from this “game” known as football.  A recent article on ToffeeWeb suggested, quite sensibly may I add, that Everton Football Club stood to gain more from retaining the services of “the hottest ticket in football” instead of availing of the opportunity to go hand in hand with that leech Stretford and cash in the chips right here and now while the iron was hot. 

If the Club has one last drop of ambition left within, then everything possible must be done to ensure that Rooney remains, not only for the remainder of his current contract but beyond.  We see him as our future. Sadly, so too do bigger fish – bigger fish with more money than we have.

The argument that Wayne Rooney is too young to up sticks right now is immaterial when money’s a part of the equation.  Despite the maturity shown in the cauldron of international football, does the young kid fully acknowledge the flak he’ll cop from those same twats in the media who are screaming for him to move elsewhere “in order to become a better player” if he does indeed decide that faraway hills are greener?

Of course, we have a possible situation whereby True Blue Holdings can, in one swoop, gain a return on their investment into (controlling) Everton Football Club.  It possibly requires the sale of one Wayne Rooney.  If that does happen, spin or no spin, get your skates on gentlemen — your days are numbered.  You might get back what you’ve put in but in the eyes of the fans, through thin and thinner, it will be considered akin to accepting thirty pieces of silver and nothing else. 

You were honoured with being elected as the custodians of this Club to guide it to better times.  If the mess you oversee right now dictates the necessity for a quick financial return, then make way for those who are more focused on the job in hand required to save us from disappearing down the plughole.

Which all leads nicely to the intriguing prospect of a certain Lord Grantchester lurking in the shadows…

Can TBH turn things around?  Personally, I don’t think so.  One man with his finger in the dyke (ooo-errrr missus) cannot quell the flood seeping through the four walls of an ageing Goodison Park.  Our team is in need of dire overhaul.  We have no money.  Our ground is old and unable to attract the corporate investment required.  We cannot afford to redevelop.  Well, that’s what we’re told...

To hell with those who say otherwise, including Terry Ward who just happened to design the present day Twickenham.  His like know feck all about redeveloping stadia on an existing footprint!  We are to be willing partners in a new joint venture with our bastard offspring (I say that with affection not venom) whether we like it or not.  We haven’t got the money — or the desire? — to do otherwise, I suspect.

With your pockets well and truly emptied, how would YOU feel if you were left stranded in this unenviable position of Chairman at a time when the Club’s finances were worse than ever before and you had the game’s brightest prospect being perceived as your “get out of jail” card? I do not for one minute envy Bill Kenwright at this time.

As much as I would dearly love to see Bill Kenwright emerge from this shite smelling of roses, I cannot see it ever happening.

The bottom line remains, as ever, that THE CLUB COMES FIRST.  Some might argue that the possible sale of Rooney gives us a chance to ease our expanding debt and strengthen the first team squad.  I refuse to believe that is the best option before us.  It remains the hope of us all that the name Rooney can attract better players and increased investment into Everton Football Club.

Which brings to our attention the problems facing He Who We Have Trusted — the manager, David Moyes.  He’s lost the respect of a number of senior players, if all’s to be believed.  He’s lost the respect of a young man with the world at his feet, if all’s to be believed.  Rumours persist that the player will not sign an extended deal while Moyes remains at the helm (this despite ne’er a quote anywhere in public from the player on the matter of his future!).

Oh, lest we forget, Moyes has no money!  Boxed in, a collection of players not sharing his same desire for improvement; what lies ahead for Moyes? If Rooney continues to evade the issue  that’s driving Evertonians mad, then who’s to say that David Moyes won’t become the man who sells Rooney? 

With the clock ticking down on the player’s contract, Moyes would argue, no doubt, that he had to sell.  Unfortunately, that might suit the Board and Rooney’s pet leech more than it would suit a manager whose hands remain firmly tied behind his back.  I firmly believe that the egg timer has been turned upside-down now, for Moyes, and it is up to him to somehow inspire those who were pitiful last season.  Sorry Davey but all the straws appear short.  Your name is on each and every last one of them…

The Board will sit still and observe quietly the mess you’ve got to overturn in a VERY short period of games.  Can anyone honestly say that’s going to happen — our fortunes overturned in a short space of games? 

Funnily enough, there’s a family of rather rich Evertonians who just might provide a get-out clause for all parties concerned... Remember, THE CLUB COMES FIRST.

Is there a possibility for TBH to sell up, on condition they “get their money”?  Does it afford Bill Kenwright the opportunity to distance himself from the mess and grant (ahem!) himself an opportunity to pass control of the Club into the hands of richer Evertonians than he?  Would it be enough then to keep Rooney at the Club with further finances available for David Moyes (humbler and wiser from his own mistakes of the past season) to get the show back on the road?

Questions, questions and more questions — any answers forthcoming over the next few weeks?  Or will we face more Grimm Readings?!

Colm Kavanagh

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