"Well done, lads, another 3 points and we are still playing average to say the least. Looking very solid at the back though. They were nowhere near scoring, even after a couple of mix-ups at the back. Much better second half though.
"Tim, looking good, cannot fault you today, and a clean sheet again. Keep it up.
"Tony, great game son. Who says you can`t cross a ball. No, you can`t take the next penalty son, well, maybe against Chelsea in the last game if we are winning 3-0 with 5 minutes to go... but only then!
"Jags, solid again. Still think we could pass it more out of defence. Long passes are not your strong point really!
"Syl, very important you don`t try and be too clever. No "Yobo's" for ages... I hope you`re not saving one for the United game. Just keep it simple.
"Leighton, good game although it's not exactly flowing down that right side anymore like it was when Peanut was here... What do you mean, "Who`s Peanut?" That little bloke who sits on the bench at Spurs! Told you not to pick Ossie out with those fast crosses. He`ll never hit the target with those!
"Bily... starting to lose my patience now, just not enough happening. No, you can`t play in the middle son, I´ve got people lining up to play there, and where the hell did that fastest player stat come from!! You must be joking!
"Johnny, sometimes I can watch a game and not even notice you. Did you play all game or what? Oh, you went off with a ham-string! What, another one? We can start a butchers shop soon!
"Jack, now this was more like it! Liked the way you played today. Can still be more happening around you, but this was definitely better!
"Phil, two shots in two games, not bad. But I would just hit them son, don`t try and place them, bit too optimistic. Good game though, this is definitely your best position.
"Magaye, definitely better than last week, nearly got on the sheet as well! But if you are going to pick on someone, don't pick on David Dunn, he`s hard as nails. Just stick one on that little ponce Gamst-Pedersen instead. Mikel will buy you a pint if you do!
"Seamus, good but I`ve seen you better, hope you are fully fit for the big one next week. I am going to need you at your best.
"Jermaine... the word that comes to mind is NAIVE, you have to hit the target more! Miss one like that next week and you`re on the bench. Me and you had to have words after your outburst last week ? hope you have learnt who is boss around here!
"Ossie, saved you till last, you are on a roll lad!! What have you been doing all these years, leading us to believe you could´nt play. Man of the match again...those bloody shots though.
"Asopolos.. Alostopos.. Asoltlopos.........Thomas, nearly got one there, very strong. Looking good!
"Right, old red nose`s bunch next week. I would love to put one over on them. Need you lot to do a job, as I might get a job there some day..."
Who said "hope so?"
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