On Everton's Radar

Some fashionable terms like 'The Project' do tend to irritate. The latest one appears to be 'The Group' as opposed to 'The Squad'. I often wonder which coach, or manager, was the first to use it.

Perhaps the polar opposite of Catterick and Kendall.

Why not "Sky Sports has been advised" rather than 'understands', followed by a beauty of a yellow banner, Breaking News...

I don't subscribe to Sky Sports but do have Sky, so I get Sky Sports News by default. I was listening to some presenter waxing lyrical about one of their luvvie's players. They also had a poll, asking who was the best goalie in the Premier League era, from that team.

Football, according to Sky, did not exist prior to the formation of the Premier League. They can broadcast their agenda because no-one is challenging their actions.

We just need someone to let us know the origins of Ceefax and Teletext. I used to love checking the transfer rumour pages. Clearly all made up and then the premium pay telephone number you could call to hear some bloke waffle about rubbish for 3 minutes. Almost as fun as the bollocking you'd get off your Mum when the phone bill arrived!

"Competing with"... it really is a race to finish first. I imagine both chairmen having to complete an obstacle course before signing the player – winner takes the prize.

Everton always enjoyed a reputation for stealth in its transfer dealings and I began to wonder and hope if this was being rekindled when the likes of Mina, Digne, Gomes and Zouma arrived pre-season under the radar, if you'll pardon the playful allusion to your article, I took to Mr Brands a lot more after that.

It puts in perspective how invaluable ToffeeWeb is for having in most cases healthy passionate debate and discussions about all matters EFC.

It's far more useful and interesting to read TW, than listen to nauseaus and prejudiced main TV companies and Media companies.

Inspiring and a very useful educational piece of work. Thank you.

How about me and my mates, as young Everton fans telling George Kirby, the Everton centre forward at the time,

“You won't be playing tomorrow, we've signed a new Number 9," and George asking who it was?

We made him wait a good few minutes before telling him it was Jimmy Glazzard from Huddersfield. He and a few other Everton players didn't have a clue about that deal.

Not that it turned out to be good news: Jimmy was signed years too late and was well past his best, another ٣,000 threw down the grid.

The funny thing is, young Bugduv didn't exist. It turned out that the fake 16-year-old was the brainchild of Galway-based Declan Varley. It was all part of a clever hoax to test the waters of the transfer gossip columns.

Sky Sports even mentioned him as a transfer target of several top clubs and the then Manchester City manager Mark Hughes was asked about him in a press conference. Hughes said he wasn't ruling him in or out. Harry Redknapp also got asked about him.

Varley came up with the name based an Irish story by Padraic O'Conaire called M'Asal Beag Dubh ('My little black donkey' in Irish). He set up a fake Wikipedia profile added a few fake Press Association stories and from there the story exploded, showing just how crazy some transfer rumours can be.

Declan Varley did a great interview on Newstalk here in Ireland yesterday looking back at the story. It's well worth a listen: Masal Bugduv: The Irishman behind football's great hoax.

Regarding Radar, it's also interesting that aircraft-based radar didn't arrive until a bit later in the war, after the magnetron was developed. Until that point, it was far more difficult to attack targets that were shrouded in mist or cloud.

Oddly enough, this caused us to live in Warrington for over 30 years. My first job, in 1978, was at UKAEA at Risley. The nuclear industry chose that site because it was a munitions factory during the war, and in turn that was influenced by a prevalence of cloud and mist at that location. Without aircraft-based radar, the cloud and mist made it more difficult for German bombers to locate and attack the munitions factory.

Regarding Kendall, I remember his first game for us, against Southampton at Goodison. He missed an open goal at the Park End, but he was rapidly forgiven!

A lateral thought: I wonder if this lad Dwight McNeil of Burnley is on the radar for/being circled by Everton? He has more than a look of the young Trevor Steven about him and upon whom we swooped at the same age at the same club?

It's all drivel of course. As such, I've long left the mainstream TV media in the rear view mirror. I turn on just before the game, I forgo the half-time rambling and have switched off long before any post-game wisdom is dispensed.

Fan media, podcasts and long-form journalism are still worth it for me. Social media scoffs at the hackneyed phrases in the article, a parody which is at least amusing if not actually informative!

Gossip & TV offer no insight for me anymore.

On the subject of irritating phrases, I believe it was the then media friend, Ron Atkinson, who was responsible for "down the channels" and "the back stick"!

I recall many of those comments in commentaries etc. I was baffled with Garth Crooks describing Trevor Steven as "ran like stink" some years ago.

"Putting your head in your hands" like Kendall did missing that sitter on a radio report conjured odd images to me as an 11-year-old??

"Everton swoop for Lill"

We signed a good winger in Micky Lill from Wolverhampton Wanderers.

I always remember that Mickey Lill always wore old fashioned boots that came above his ankle. I wonder how Catterick would have coped in this day and age? The first we often knew of a signing in his day was a picture of the player in an Everton kit at Bellfield.

The story I remember during the Catterick years was a story that Chris James told, he was the Liverpool Echo head sports reporter. Now Catterick was famous for not letting even the local journalists in on any possible transfer. But one day, Chris James took a call from Catterick to say come down to Bellfield I have got information for you over a transfer.

Chris James hightailed it to Bellfield as quick as he could; when he gets into Cattericks office he asks who are you signing. Oh this isn't about Everton, I just thought I would let you know that Liverpool have signed Howard Kendall. Now instead of checking the story Chris James contacted the medium programme no local radio stations then, and on the 1:00 o'clock news they reported his story. But Catterick had already signed Kendall before he told his story to Chris James.

Another famous story about Catterick was about his strictness of players turning up minutes late for training. So all players had to sign a book at the entrance to Bellfield training ground stating their time of arrival, and you had to sign in by 10:00 am. So even though some had arrived a minute or so late they still put down the time of arrival before 10:00 to avoid a fine. But what they didn't know was Catterick had instructed his secretary to change the pen that was on the book to a pencil at exactly 10:00. So all those thinking they had avoided a fine were sadly mistaken.

My dad and me used to switch between the Paddock and Goodison Rd, but on that day we were in the Park end stand (don't know why, unless we'd been given tickets), and I recall seeing Kendall blast the ball over the bar, but obviously am not sure which bar!

Harry replied, “You've had since 5:30 pm last Saturday to get here.”

Brian had to pay the fine.

Andy King, get off the pitch.

Joe Royle "Sorry about the dream final now Fuck Off — and that's with a double f.

Graeme Sharps marker against Bayern being off the pitch after Andy Gray busted his nose.

Neil Robinson and Terry Darracott both coming out wearing the number two jersey in the league cup final second replay.

Some fan running on the pitch after the Spurs semi-final and booting Ian Walker up the arse.

Everton player getting whacked and Van den hauwe running the length of the pitch to give the player retribution.

Ferguson knowing fluent German and giving Wigan's Scharner a belly buster, then giving the Wigan fans the up yours signal when sent off.

The Kevin Sheedy v sign in front of the Kop.

Brian Clough after we beat them I think 5 nil and saying to the interviewer we were pansies just like me and you, give us a kiss.

The fan doing his dambusters after Sharp scored at Anfield.

The dog on the pitch at West Brom in the seventies.

Eddie Cavanagh slipping the old bill and putting the first one on his backside, holding his coat.

Nowadays, we have ToffeeWeb and Twitter to vent our anger; back in the Good Old Days, it was cushions thrown from the Main Stand.

I'm sure fellow fans have some pearlers to lighten the mood.

Class moments?

In one game, the ref got twated, there were only three officials in those days, and the tannoy called for a qualified ref from the crowd...

This lad jumps onto the pitch with his arm in the air. Two blue and white silk scarfs tied to his wrists, Doc Martin's and wide Flemmings Jeans.

He looked so earnest. We all cacked ourselves laughing.

Then, of course, they have to "prepare a bid" which, I guess, involves looking down the back of the sofa for loose change or, maybe, popping to the bank to withdraw some funds or arranging an overdraft extension. Failing that, it is a trip to Cash Converters.