Nickname 11
40 Comments
It’s undoubtedly a stressful week for Evertonians. We’re probably all just thinking pretty much the same thing: “Will I wake up next Monday morning feeling relieved or devastated?’ So, I write this for a bit of a laugh in an attempt to distract from these troubling thoughts.
We are The Toffees. An annoying nickname in my opinion, much as I recognise and appreciate the tradition behind it. It lends itself too frequently to idiotic puns in the media relating to stickiness or chewing.
Every football team has a nickname, some better than others. The Red Devils, for example, is a shit one – no two ways about it. It sounds like a marketing team came up with it. I can’t be bothered to look up the real reason or who thought of it as that lot can fuck right off.
I’ve always liked The Tractor Boys – it’s ridiculous! Though I’ve no interest in the team behind the name. As for those bunch of knobheads across the park, theirs is simply pathetic, uninventive and shite.
Nicknames are applied to players too, of course. Again, some better than others. So I decided to have a go at an Everton nickname starting 11. The only rule is that the nickname can’t contain any part of the player’s actual name (though I do cheat a bit with one). So, here it is:
The Toffees (3-3-4):
Binman,
Rhino, Milkman, Pyscho
Golden Vision, Pieman, Gravedigger, White Pele
Scottish Messi, Inchy, Diamond
Sub: Judas (doesn’t get brought on)
Manager: Spanish Waiter
Physio: Magnum
Not a bad team I think, though pity about the manager!
Thankfully, I found an old GOT thread to help. To be honest, I’d never heard of the 'Milkman’.
Suggestions welcome if I’ve missed any good ones.
Oh well, now back to thinking about Sunday…
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Reader Comments (40)
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2 Posted 25/05/2023 at 19:46:53
3 Posted 25/05/2023 at 19:47:11
On another note the best footballers nickname of all time has got to be One Size: Fitz Hall.
Dissa an absolute gem, Jigsaw, Back of the echo.
The list is endless as regards us.
4 Posted 25/05/2023 at 20:18:59
5 Posted 25/05/2023 at 20:48:49
The sad thing is he probably would be in reality given the even inferior strike rate of the ‘Elf Who Should've Been Left On The Shelf' who could be starting Sunday.
6 Posted 25/05/2023 at 20:57:09
Sad but true. Jigsaw, were he around today, would be a target for Newcastle at 㿞 million.
7 Posted 25/05/2023 at 21:30:41
8 Posted 25/05/2023 at 21:36:31
9 Posted 25/05/2023 at 21:43:47
10 Posted 25/05/2023 at 22:23:23
11 Posted 25/05/2023 at 22:33:56
The Rat is surely worth a place?
12 Posted 25/05/2023 at 22:52:04
13 Posted 25/05/2023 at 22:58:53
But known here simply as the Gimp.
14 Posted 25/05/2023 at 23:28:01
But this Sunday, Everton will beat Bournemouth and hopefully start a reset of the club and make sure there's a stop and reset button built into the running of the Everton Football Club – designed to make sure that there's no repeat of the last 30-odd years in Purgatory.
UTFTs!
15 Posted 25/05/2023 at 23:35:48
16 Posted 25/05/2023 at 23:47:17
Amokachi and Alexanderson the later because he spent so much time on the floor.
The former because he was black and carried the team.
17 Posted 26/05/2023 at 00:03:27
18 Posted 26/05/2023 at 14:51:33
19 Posted 26/05/2023 at 14:59:35
20 Posted 26/05/2023 at 16:15:41
21 Posted 26/05/2023 at 17:00:50
22 Posted 26/05/2023 at 17:20:04
William Ralph “Dixie†Dean
He scored 63 times in one season, and wasn't ever sent off!
It's an achievement that none of the current players (anywhere), will ever get near matching!
23 Posted 26/05/2023 at 17:27:52
The Catt had the very best intentions for our club, whatever his persona; he must be furious looking down from his vantage point in Blue Heaven…
24 Posted 26/05/2023 at 17:39:18
It was always nice to hear “Come on, Shagger!†from the family enclosure.
Happy days.
25 Posted 26/05/2023 at 18:24:51
26 Posted 26/05/2023 at 18:33:21
27 Posted 26/05/2023 at 18:48:42
28 Posted 26/05/2023 at 18:55:00
29 Posted 26/05/2023 at 19:07:07
31 Posted 29/05/2023 at 09:54:09
Earlier generations, the Angel?
I don't suppose the Golden Vision was a nickname.
Likewise, Kevin Sheedy walked on water. But I am digressing.
32 Posted 29/05/2023 at 10:29:21
Dixie scored 65 in one season, not the 63 that is being mis-reported.
Now if you want to count "in all competitions" and include internationals, he scored a damn sight more than Haaland.
33 Posted 29/05/2023 at 10:30:52
34 Posted 29/05/2023 at 10:41:56
35 Posted 29/05/2023 at 10:54:49
36 Posted 30/05/2023 at 09:18:42
37 Posted 30/05/2023 at 09:30:59
38 Posted 30/05/2023 at 09:58:37
39 Posted 30/05/2023 at 10:37:16
40 Posted 30/05/2023 at 22:44:17
I must have got the total wrong then, my apologies.
But “Johnâ€? If a clearly LEGIBLE name is there to see - and that's got wrong, it helps comfort me to know that things can clearly be gotten wrong at times! ðŸ˜
41 Posted 30/05/2023 at 23:58:32
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1 Posted 25/05/2023 at 19:37:47