Season › 2023-24 › Opinion › Talking Points Calling all Blue Lyricists! by Trevor Powell | 11/12/2023 15 Comments [Jump to last] Since the sixties, football chants and songs have come and gone and even come back.Watching those despicable Chelsea Morons insulting the poor of Merseyside, I could not help remembering and wanting a rendition of:Show them the way to go home,They're tired and they want to go to bed,Cause they're only half a football team, Compared to the boys in Blue!!!!!…The original 1920's music hall lyrics were,Show me the way to go home,I'm tired and I want to go to bed,I had a little drink about an hour ago,And it's gone right to my head,Wherever I may roam,On land or sea or foam,You will always hear me singing this song,Show me the way to go home. One of my most spine-tingling moments was at Wembley in 1986 at half-time, when the older supporters started to sing, 'We hate Bill Shankly and we hate St John!' Personally, I am as poetic as a boiled egg, but would love a Blue Lyricist to come up with contemporary lyrics for the first two lines!!Perhaps TW and other websites could offer an incentive! Return to Talking Points index : Add your Comments » Reader Comments (15) Note: the following content is not moderated or vetted by the site owners at the time of submission. Comments are the responsibility of the poster. Disclaimer () Alan McGuffog 1 Posted 12/12/2023 at 10:01:53 "They're tired and they want to go to bed".I seem to recall some of our coarser brethren adding an extra line at this point Robert Tressell 2 Posted 12/12/2023 at 15:14:11 "You're on the latest tik tok"Could be the first line, and you can take it in a few different directions depending on how rude you want it to be... Bob Parrington 3 Posted 13/12/2023 at 00:22:32 Here's a suggestion for a clean verse. Substitute "Chelsea" with whichever team is apt. Some may have better, more interesting version. Show Chelsea a way to go home,They're tired and want to go to bed,They thought they'd beat us in the game tonightBut we thrashed them here instead,Wherever we may play,At home games or away,You will always hear us singing our song,We were the better team today. Jay Harris 4 Posted 14/12/2023 at 17:42:17 Nice one, Bob, but why are we using a kopite song as a base?Surely Onward Evertonians or We Shall Not Be Moved are more historic blues songs to be brought up to date by the lyricists? Ian Jones 5 Posted 14/12/2023 at 17:49:49 I always bring this one out when people look at lyrics, from One Direction's History. Only works if we are going in an upwards direction... might appeal to the younger generation You and me got a whole lot of history (Oh)We could be the greatest teamThat the world has ever seenYou and me got a whole lot of history (Oh)So don't let it go, we can make some moreWe can live for Ever...tonI've already got my coat David S Shaw 6 Posted 16/12/2023 at 14:57:47 Wasn't there an old one sung to Boney M's Ma Baker?? Anyone remember that? Brian Wilkinson 7 Posted 18/12/2023 at 14:31:03 Cannot recall the ma baker one, Dave, I recall the Lena Martel one goal at a time Bob Latchford and vaguely remember one about knock knee and doing the Everton boot walk but cannot recall the lyrics to that one.The eighties and we love our Psycho Pat, going through all the players' names is one we could look to update with the current team.As for player's chant, I always thought Bert Kampfert's A Swinging Safari tune would fit well to a Doucouré song. Peter Mills 8 Posted 18/12/2023 at 14:55:23 Brian #7, I think it went “I'm a knock-knee'd chicken and a bow-legged hen, I haven't been so happy since I don't know when, I walk with a wiggle and a waggle and a squawk, doing the Everton boot walk. Na na na na…… “.I never did understand it! Dave Abrahams 9 Posted 18/12/2023 at 15:18:44 I saw this scrawled on a wall a long time ago. If I had the wings of an eagle And the dirty black arse of a crow. I'd fly to the top of the Spion Kop And shit on the bastards below.Whoever wrote those wonderful lyrics never left any musical notes with them and I can't think of any tunes that might fit them. Micky Norman 10 Posted 18/12/2023 at 15:20:36 E V E R T and O and NThe greatest team in all the world and they call us EvertonThen we reeled off the players' names in order from the 63 champions.It was later revived for the 66 Cup winners.But my favourite was for the Hari Krishna chant. All the players' names reeled off in order with a chorus ofHarry Catterick, Harry Catterick, Harry Harry… Harry HarrySomething like this:Andy Rankin, Gordon West, Tommy Wright, Keith NewtonBrian Labone, Johnny Hurst, Howard Kendall, Colin HarveyAlan Ball, Jimmy Husband, Joey Royle, Johnny MorriseyHarry Catterick, Harry Catterick, Harry Harry… Harry Harry Peter Mills 11 Posted 18/12/2023 at 15:32:25 Dave #9 Try it to the tune of: “My Bonnie lies over the ocean, my Bonnie lies over the sea”. Dale Self 12 Posted 18/12/2023 at 16:02:30 Dave @9,I'm betting that was George McKane who wrote that while entertaining Peter O'Toole and Richard Harris. And on topic, I will give up my usual Mott the Hoople advocacy and get with whomever proposed ‘Heroes' by Bowie. Everyone knows that and it is of anthem quality. Did I get it right with ‘whomever'? Just checking. Phil Bellis 13 Posted 18/12/2023 at 16:09:29 In the '60s and '70s we sang it as:If I had the wings of a sparrowIf I had the arse of a crowI'd fly over Anfield tomorrowAnd shit on the bastards belowShit on, etcAs Peter says, to the tune of My Bonnie. Brian Wilkinson 14 Posted 18/12/2023 at 16:50:43 Peter @8,Yes, that was the one, cheers for that. Charles Brewer 15 Posted 20/12/2023 at 17:15:05 The version I learned was "If I had the arse of a cow" — which I always thought a more suitable device for spraying the Kop. Add Your Comments In order to post a comment, you need to be logged in as a registered user of the site. » Log in now Or Sign up as a ToffeeWeb Member — it's free, takes just a few minutes and will allow you to post your comments on articles and Talking Points submissions across the site. How to get rid of these ads and support TW © ToffeeWeb