Premier League — Matchweek 33

Now Ipswich. How many teams play Hey Jude now?

It's a bit that Kop initiated "Allez, Allez". Now you have Villa and quite a few others impersonating it. It was bad enough when they spread that song to Celtic and Dortmund.

Stay original Everton. It's one of the reasons I don't like "If yer Know yer History". Think Tottenham and Celtic. Plus, I just don't like it anyway. About as much as Mark Murphy dislikes Marching Down the Goodison Road.

Arsenal 2-0 up at Ipswich. In about 75 minutes time we will be mathematically safe! 👍👍👍

What a fantastic goal!
Sakas take down, wee back heel pass, in the net!
Pure class!

Ipswich now down to ten men. Davies sent off.

Deffo safe now

That was a nasty challenge by Davis on Saka. Right down the back of his Achilles.

Yay

Rob, I think the Scouse vernacular is "shit house tackle".

Deliberate, couldn't see the ball and scrapes him down the back of the achilles.

Now Saka is getting booed every time he get's the ball and huge cheers if he misses a chance.

Sometimes football supporters can be odd. I hope he scores again now.

Jesus Hewey I just saw that the Pie-eaters murdered St. Bellends on Friday. I'm in shock.

Danny, spot on. A shit house. Fuckin prick. He would'nt have lasted 5 minutes in our day.

It's a deserved red, although some weeks they aren't given.

Saka is a great player, but he gets a fair amount of protection off the refs.

Iwobi has 9 league goals this season.

He would have combined well with Ndiaye.

That was a Tommy Smith tackle on Saka. One of the dirtiest players ever to disgrace the game.

Iwobi was shite for us, Steve. He never wanted to leave the smoke and it showed.

Saka or boils-face Colin?

The Kublai Khan lookalike, Paul. A horrible player and man

Leaving aside Tyler Dibling who is probably going to go to sit in the reserves at a Sky darling club.. . which of the Leicester, Ipswich and Southampton players would you like to see in an Everton shirt next season and what is the max you think we should pay?

A cracking free kick from Sarabia.

Wolves level on points with us.

I can't think of one Phil. But then I haven't paid too much attention to them.

Ipswich relegated if Wolves win

Yes! Get In.
Sarabia puts Wolves 1-0 up

Everton points to end of season based on last year = 8
United = 8 (including beating Villa).

We look good to finish above United. First time since?? 2014-2014?

Phil, Delap, Gray (Ipswich) Walker-Peters (free), none from Leicester.

0-1 wolves. Sorry Phil, I guess I had auto off.

I thought that in the end Iwobi was playing well for us and he's been a gem for Fulham. We got a good price so fair enough.

The way the games are heading I wouldn't be too surprised to see us finishing 16th.

I'm hopeful United and Spurs don't get some wins.

I can see Wolves finishing ahead of us, and at the moment only West Ham can I think we will finish above.

The lack of wins especially at home is costing us

From the relegated clubs, I would happily take the likes of:

El Khannoussi (Leicester)
Justin (Leicester)
Buonanotte (Leicester / loan Brighton)
Sulemana (Saints)
Ugochukwu (Saints / loan Chelsea)
Harwood-Bellis (Saints)
Delap (Ipswich)
Enciso (Ipswich / loan Brighton)
Philogene (Ipswich)
Hutchison (Ipswich)

I still don’t understand why so many people were vehemently opposed to Perreira becoming Everton manager.

Portuguese managers from Mourinho, AVB, silva, NES etc… have done really well over the years.

Colin

Me neither.
Yet everyone wanted Frank at that time.

Afternoon Robert and a Happy Easter to you.

That is some list! Quite a few of those are on loan and in the case of Philogene and Hutchinson bought this season but have they really done anything to change the fortunes of the 3 clubs this season? Delap, possibly, but the others? Are we replacing what we consider our not good enoughs with other not good enoughs?

Added time at OT until the mancs equalise.

Safe with five games to spare. You'd have thought that in January.

Robert, Philogene has turned us down twice this calendar year. He can enjoy life back in the championship

Looks like 44 points this season. Who’d have thought?

I wouldn't be getting many off the relegated clubs to be fair.

You are just going like for like with what we have now.

We've already got too many that have a ceiling of mid table at best playing for us, even the likes of McNeil, Garner two that many here rave about, I still think are very limited to be honest.

We need to try and search outside the box

No more relegated players please.

Tough watch for Ipswich. A deserved red card, but hard for teams to lay a glove on some of these sides when they keep possession like that.

Epl getting more like La Liga every season, snooze fest for 30 minutes.

Dirty Von Dyke in his blue boots. The absolute sausage. I’m glad he’s signed another season he’s fucking gone.

We’ve hired managers who have been relegated at clubs - Martinez, Silva, Allardyce, Benitez - and signed players from relegated clubs.

It hasn’t served us well the last few years, so I hope we can be more progressive in our transfer approach this summer.

I don't recognise any of them Robert, except Delap. And that's only because I've heard the like of yourself and other talk talk about him. Never watched him or paid much attention those clubs this season.

Well, not it needed it, but that's confirmed the. Technically Leicester can still catch Wolves on points, but have to better Wolves' -18 to their -45.

It's been done since December that those 3 would be going down.

Nick, £800,000 a week for 2 players with 55 years between them.

The RS have bottled it making that decision.

Pereira doing a cracking job at Wolves so far. It’s almost like the fans who made the bedsheets demanding Lampard over him didn’t know what they were talking about! Though to be fair Lampard is doing better at Coventry than I expected.

Lots of good players at the relegated teams but doubt they’ll come cheap unless there were relegation clauses. Buononotte would do a good job for us at RW I reckon, hard working, great touch and vision though maybe not quite as quick as we’d want.

He's doing well sam, but he'll up against it again this summer with the financial constraints at wolves.

Potter making heavy work of it at West Ham. Could be gone by Christmas if he can't turn it around.

Steve and Paul, didn't we sign a relegated player... name of Tarkowski?

Seems to me he's worked out pretty well. And didn't we miss him a whole lot when he went off yesterday.

We went for him because he was free. No top team went for him.

You didn't answer his question Paul.

Only because Keane came on. If OBrien had gone inside instead we'd have got a point.

We should go all in for that Mbuemo fella at Brentford!
UTFT

This commentator is desperate for for them to score. He screams every time they get a half chance.

He have been practising his one liners all night.

Peter Drury is a tit Danny

Why you watching the rs?. Rather watch paint dry.

Tarkowski suits our profile as a club battling at the lower end of the table.

If we want to progress then we have to sign better quality players.

Paul # 48…….you did on Friday!!

Don’t tell him, Paul!
If he’s that interested he can bloody well Google it!
Grrr!😡

I can't remember anything from Friday.

Robert #25,
Would you not take Walker- Peters on a free.

The Wigan mighties quadruple winners world champs are one of the greatest teams of all time. A joy to watch. Another Good Friday walk in the park

20 minutes this really is quite the effort from Leicester.

Coady has his 2nd goal against the rs ruled out. Must be in the rules and regulations.

Couldn’t see anything wrong with it, Colin. Ndidi just stood his ground and the bearded lady claimed the foul.

And Peter Drury has just cum in his kecks.

Drury has an orgasm

Orgasm Colin / Rob..

Yes Colin, he doesn't have the PL's approval to score against the shite. Pity we couldn't have kept him on, a far better back-up CB than Calamity Keane.

Made up that Leicester are going down duck. Nasty little city. Horrible accents duck.

This league is bent

Good point on Keane/Coady Allen.

Salah is on a worse goal drought in open play than even our own sad 'put it in front of him and he will score' 'striker'.

How have PGMOL FC lost only two all season? Fucking shite

FFS Mr Ferry, why did you have to say that? 😡😡😡

Pubescent on

Glad to see the back of Leicester fans with their clackety-clack thingys.

Big Rob I can only say sorry and ask for your noble forgiveness that I know you will grant.

I hope that you don't know the city Col, I'm still in therapy/recovery 25 years on

My opponent in the ToffeeWeb FFL Cup has Salad in his team, as captain, which I find a bloody disgrace. How any blue can put any of that RS team in their FFL team is beyond me. I bet he is praying for Salad to score. 😡😡😡

Completely agree Rob. I'd feel tainted and dirty. Lord knows how I won the TW league last year without Salad. At least we have clean consciences Rob in our own little league.

I worked with a few Asian lads from Leicester a few years ago, Paul. They were sound. Even they said Leicester was a bit of a dump.

Mind you Rob, double-games captains Saka, De Bruyne, Manmusch all came up with nothing this weekend.

They also had to live in one of the homes of the National Front Col and the BM.

So they told me, Paul.

Bollocks.

Ooooh, tell a lie, Salad was vice captain.

Still a fucking disgrace though.

Carragher talking utter shite again, the massive cunt.

Will Rudd keep his job? Or that dickhead Ozzie at the spacecraft? Or Maresca? Or the fella who never wanted to manage Man-U?

So he would haave gone for one of the other three Rob and got peanuts mate. He still has the scumbag though.

Van horseface seemed quite happy at the end. Fat cheque waiting for him no doubt.

Do you remember singing 'hand it over' to them.

Colin, A few million quid for being a failure! It's not right.

People always say they feel sorry for a manager when he gets the boot. I bet the manager doesn't feel sorry for himself.

1987, Carrow Road.

What an epic but memorable coach trip back to Speke that was as a 16-year-old.

I went there by coach too, Danny,and the next month I got a first class honours degree with triple distinction at York University. 1984-87 were good years!

I don't feel sorry for them, Rob. Fat Sam became a mega-millionaire getting the sack. Mourinho is another. I think I read somewhere, that he's been paid £67M just in severance pay.

Brainy twat, Paul.

If ever a team had a title handed to them on a plate, it's those lucky bastards! Complete and utter collapse from Man City, and amateurish tactics from Pep Googling and an injury list written up by Satan himself.

Eternal bottlers Arsenal, and over-spend Chelsea crap as ever. Spurs, don't make me laugh, and Man Utd disappearing up its own arse. No challenges to the media favs, it was all done and dusted months ago, one of the worst, as far as class goes, Premier League seasons to date.

Congratulations, Champions (by default). Don't make me laugh.

But you must feel a little bit of sympathy watching Dyche down at the Labour Exchange Col.

Flat cap, fag in mouth and a quart of anis in his donkey jacket, Paul. A la Stan Ogden

Paul @89,

If it was so easy why are Everton not challenging them? Why are we always down the bottom with a negative goal difference every season?

I hate them as much as you, Paul, but they have won the league (unfortunately again) with games to spare.

Totally agree, Joe. Posts like #89 make us look pathetic and embarrassing.

If those twats Wolves had won 20 more games, they would be top, the shithouses, and if the prawn sandwich gobshites Fulham had won 13 more games, they would be top, the bottling shitbags.

Leicester have 18 points.

Still home to Saints and Ipswich
Away at Bournemouth, Forest, Wolves.

Please let them get just 1 point, preferably none.
First time a team in 19th gets less than 20 points.

What a carp league.

Somethin' about your post's a bit fishy, Phil.

Don't go there, Brian.

Paul @ 87.

I got a first in Engineering in '76 but we didn't have distinctions then. A first was the distinction before they started giving them away.

I just had to be happy with being a light-year ahead of the other guys on the course. Mind you, I did get some awards from the Engineering Institutes.

I didn't know that about distinctions, Martin. They didn't start giving firsts away until after 2000, Martin.

We kept our standards and some places still do. It was the big growth in student numbers that had a large hand in that as standards tumbled.

York History Dept had 83 graduates in 1987, four got firsts. Last year, York took in 360 first-year students. The differences are significant.

Paul @ 54, now there's a turn up, at last we agree on something.

It was going to happen sometime, Raymond!

I was only joking, Paul, and agree with you. Mind you, with such good qualifications in history, you can remember when Everton won something?

While Engineering was my business, history was my reading interest. All 20th Century, First and Second World War, Balkans, Russia, Ireland and Everton.

Joe 71.

"Why are we not challenging them?"

I refer you to my last comment. Don't make me laugh. And you said they won it with points to spare, then dosn't that prove the quality of the Premier League?

P F,

It doesn't matter what I say, does it? If I said the Sun is bright, you would disagree.

How can you not agree with anything that puts those horrible privileged twats in the negative? Why is criticising our hated neighbours pathetic? Of late, that's the only thing we... Hang on, that is pathetic, isn't it.😁

Too early for you, Martin: 1550-1700, but one of the best books that I've read over the last decade or so is Postwar by Tony Judt, who died way too young from ALS.

Pathetic because we just appear as whiners and whingers, Paul. And you were not so much criticising them – which I do countless times each day – as castigating others who appear to have let them win the league.

I don't like it when we look like perennial moaners because that is what I think they are on the other side of the park.

Off topic, but will we have to change what we call them next season when they are no longer across the park?

And the sun is not always bright, Paul. Sunrise, sunset, and in winter months or in especially high latitude areas when it is low in the sky, as sunlight travels through much longer distances across the Earth's atmosphere and the atmosphere absorbs a fair bit of the light!

Paul @102, we will have to agree to disagree. Yes, it hasn't been a good Premier League season, but Everton have contributed to it also being poor quality.

We have a manager who sees positives in losing 0-2 at home. How can we "take shots" at Liverpool winning such a poor Premier League?

I think that Moyes has done much good in and around our club, Joe.

But my thinking has always been that he is satisfied with a decent 7th or 8th season finish and is always relieved when we don't lose by three or four to one of the so-called "big" 4/5/6.

He can say that we fought hard and that they had better players on the day in his post-match talk.

Paul @105.

"And the sun is not always bright, Paul. Sunrise, sunset." See, I told you! Lo.

All the best this Easter, Paul, to you and yours and all toffees.

Robert @25.

If we wanted a squad of relegated players we could have just kept Dyche.

Thanks, Paul.

Paul,

My interest is also the times of Bonaparte, Wellington and Nelson.

Mine is WW2 and the American Civil War, Martin, as well as some of the more contemporary areas that I have a personal interest in.

Ireland, the Former Yugoslavia, the Middle East and Afghanistan.

Have you done the battlefield sites in Virginia etc. Danny?

Paul, I went to Fredricksburg, VA in 2004. We went to Lexington, walking around Stonewall Jackson's former home and visiting his grave. We also visited the Virginia Military Institute, where the Cadets who fought in the Battle of New Market against the Union. We went to that Battlefield too. There is a true story film based on it; "Field of Lost Shoes". Well worth a watch.

Also, Arlington House close to Arlington National Cemetery where General E Lee of the Confederacy lived on the Virginia side of the Potomac. Went to the Kennedy grave as well.

I've also been to Fort Sumter, SC, where as you will know the opening shots were fired by the Confederates on the US Garrison to trigger the Civil War.

My favourite though has to be Gettysburg in Pennsylvania. Both the Visitor Centre and the tour around the battle field. How close the Confederacy came to winning and having a foothold in the north, close to DC. They didn't have to win the war, just bring the Union to the table. It was close to having two nations in what is now the USA. Little known fact, it is used as a case study at the Royal Military Academy Sandhurst, where British Army Officers are trained.

Aside from planning to Everton's tour this summer, my next US road trip I thinking about is from Nashville to New Orleans, taking in Vicksburg on the way.

Funny how toffee web brings up these conversations, but I love a bit of history.

Great stuff Danny. I used to live I Chapel Hill NC and on trips to DC would often stop off at one of these sites. Richmond is well worth a visit. I love that Charleston/Savannah area and Fort-S is thought provoking while Savannah is gorgeous.

I recently read a biography of Custer and didn't realise how involved he was in the Civil War and the book vividly brings to mind what you say about how close the Confederates came to winning and Custer's Michigan Brigade had a huge part to play at Gettysburg

Just spent 5 minutes on Steve Johnson's excellent website Link ad and back in 1977-78 season the Skunks finished 21st in a 22 team league with 22 points and the following season Brum finished 21st in a 22 team league with 22 points.

Yes, 38 games not 42, but Leicester need 4 points to not have the lowest total for finishing next to bottom - and 2 points to make it to 20. Failure to get those 2 points would leave them the first club to finish next to bottom with less than 20 points since 1894 - a league of 30 games and Darwin's 19 points saw them relegated along with bottom club Newton Heath, no know as Manchester United.

So this is a poor league - and if we could ever work out how to put in graphs it would make clear reading how the bottom is getting worse.

Phil 116, wasn’t it 2 points for a win back then? rather than three as it is now.

Which makes this season’s total even worse.

Jeff, stop being daft mate, you know football didn't matter before 1992

Seems we have got 16 year old centre half John Dodds from Hearts, well deal agreed when window opens.

Be lots of rumours in the summer but the two I think Everton have their eyes on is Tom Fellows and Ben Doak.

Jeff, you're right, They would have both got 28 points.

And James you're right. I thought it did not exist before 1992.

Mike #41, another relgated player we signed hasn't done so bad either.

Jordan Pickford.

Phil 116. Fascinating read thanks. Would make a good series on T W about the early days of football.

Phil #116, your link is to

https://ToffeeWeb.com/season/24-25/comment/editorial/www.evertonresults.com

Which returns an "Access Fordidden 403" error for me.

Can you post the whole url so I can copy and paste please.

Sorry Eric - I always struggle with putting in the link

https://www.evertonresults.com/

Paul, There was a great thread on a non-league forum. Sadly the forum had to be upgraded and it was lost. But it chronicled all the seasons and who was elected and re-elected and the votes and the back room deals. I logged the answers but not the thread.

Here is one for a Wet Bank Holiday - How many teams from Merseyside have been in the football league?

Paul @115, Custer. I’ve always wanted to visit Little Bighorn.

I’m watching Fellows along with Armstrong now Brian. Not seen much from Fellows, but it’s one half of football, so can’t really judge.

Phil 124. New Brighton. The club won the Lancashire League in only their second season and were elected to the Football League in 1898, taking their place in the newly expanded Second Division. Their record in the first season was good – finishing 5th and just three points off 2nd place and promotion. One of the reasons for this success was the club’s intention to sign up as many of the top footballers in the country as they could. After all, who else could offer the bright lights and glamour that New Brighton could at the time? The Football League were aghast at such behaviour and strongly rebuked the club for their strategy.

Go here for a remarkable history lesson in Merseyside football.

https://theballisround.co.uk/2019/12/25/only-four-teams-on-merseyside/

Paul - answer is 6

The team in 1898 was New Brighton Tower but they were dissolved in the summer of 1901. They then came back in 1921 and lasted until 1951 when they were not re-elected.

And I only count these two as one club and the answer is still 6.

Phil, sorry I misread your question. Liverpool, Everton, Tranmere Rovers New Brighton and?

Southport and Bootle? Although Southport is now classed as Lancashire, I think, it was in Merseyside when they were a football league club. Might be wrong though.

Yes Southport is in Merseyside.located within the Metropolitan Borough of Sefton, which is one of the boroughs that make up Merseyside. While historically part of Lancashire, the area became part of Merseyside in 1974 as a result of the 1972 Local Government Act.

I believe it's still Merseyside Rob. Both Southport and Bootle in the borough of Sefton.

I remember the conversation a while back. There are a few Merseyside clubs out there. Marine and Prescot spring to mind. Runcorn, if they still exist, are not Merseyside, but Halton Borough is now part of the Liverpool City Region. South Liverpool are still in existence, playing at Jericho Lane and in the 9th or 10th level on the English football pyramid.

Well done - yes Bootle.

And in other news - Burnley about to beat Sheff United, which means Leeds get promoted and the clause in his contract to be at a Premier League club is now invalid and we cannot loan Jack Harrison next year.

Just don't buy him

City of Liverpool (Northern Premier League Division 1)

AFC Liverpool (play at sacred ground Rossett Park)

Cammell Laird 1907 (North West Counties?)

Litherland (North West Counties?)

Ashville (North West Counties)

Lower Breck (North West Counties)

FC St. Helens (the biggest team in St.Helens, much bigger than St. Bellends rugger league who got mauled by World Champions Wigan on another pie-eater Good Friday walk in the park)

Maghull (North West Counties)

There are others.

Also means Burnley get promoted

Will Burnley still sue us now there back in the PL?

Come on Forest.

Get in

I want Spuds to do a Wgan here and beat Forest/St. Bellends

Love to see Forest, villa and city get into the top 5. Rs and Arsenal will finish top 2.

2-0

Ha ha

Deffo offside

Get in

Offside

That not offside. It's his arm

Scabs still 1-0

Hewey it's any part of the body including a stiffy

I know the rules. But it ridiculous

But you said it's not offside mate.

I'd make the rule, that clear space has to be between the attacking player and the last defender.

Anderson was one of the best buys last summer.

And that does count.

Spurs are shite

Yyeesss

WTF was the keeper doing; stay on yer line fool

Hewey you just posted on another thread that you don't understand why fans would applaud opposing players and look at you here with your height of hypocrisy Scabs love in.

Anyone take Richy back? He looks lost there

I want forest get into the CL.

Nah Colin. But I'm looking forward to seeing the arrogant Aussie get his marching orders this week so spurs can begin another eighteen-month cycle.

Same Paul. I think injuries have caught up with him. I hate Forrest btw

Scabs PF, your going back a while there. Should we still call the Germans for two WW

If you had mates who went to Forest the other week Hewey ask them what the Forest fans were like - ask Neil Copeland on here. I dearly hope that the scabs do not get CL and normal service is resumed next season.

Right Hewey when the shithouse scabs sing their sign on shite.

If we’d have drawn with Forest and Man City, we’d have all been made up. We got three points instead of two so happy days. Also of all the teams around us, Man Utd, spurs and West Ham they all look like they are to drop points, spurs game pending. We can now throw Wolves into this little group, and at the moment they are looking like the only team who may go above us this weekend. So all in all, a decent weekend for us, even though we lost, but so frustrating to think it could have been much better.

Elanga is exactly what we need and we could have had him.

A few dickhead PF. I've seen forest fans say they are out of order singing that. You cant tar all fans for a few morons

Didn’t Forrest try and sue us, along with Burnley?

Yep Rob, Wolves have bye bye Leicester at home - 6-0?

One of the other nice things about Spud's shite season is watching just how mediocre GBH Son is.

A few dickheads, Paul H……what were they using, megaphones? It was really clear and loud what they were singing.

Not a few dickheads, Mr Hewitt. The majority were in full voice.

Erm Rob - and Brent? - were there Hewey while the two of us were in our comfy armchairs.

Sign on is predictable. "We pay your benefits" grates me.

Half the City Ground we’re singing sign on to us.

Blokes in their 40s threatening a 64 year old for having the audacity to wear an EFC tee shirt and banter (friendly initially) are just knobheads. Mind you they got off lightly lol.

64 year-old Neil Copeland had some Forest fans attack him at his car but his younger mate - semi-pro boxer - soon had them running and the oh so brave scabs - N.C. called them scabs - were looking back shouting stanley knives at 64-year-old NC - who went to Luton last year without a ticket only for some sound blue by the name of Benny O'Peel to give him his.

Just call them "Notts" Forest. They hate it. Gotta be Nottingham Forest, they say. So, Notts Forest it is.

Richy is looking headless sadly

If Europa League final is Spurs v United it really is going to be death match.
One gets in the Champions League and the other finishes in the bottom third and not in Europe.
Mess up the finances for next year. Could we please have a Leeds for one of them and a fire sale of talent and a decade in the wilderness.

No VAR due to a fire alarm at Stockley Park apparently…..

Forget that, back up and running now.

Never mind City, Notts Forest's bench is ten times better than ours.

Some clearance that

Ange getting the boot soon?

Well done, Rich

Good headed goal by Richy.

Tell you what, Tel is shit. He’s no William Tell.

Te is shit

I'm glad Richarlison got one. He cut a very frustrated figure out there. He just doesn't look happy and you can see it in his body language.

Missed a few chances but took his goal well.

Forest approached the match like they have done most games this season when that have defended resolutely and then hit teams quickly on the counter. They know their strengths and they play to them.

Tottenham were awful. All over the place. I don't see them moving before the end of the season, but that manager won't be there once the last ball is kicked, or they fall in their Europa League semi-final, which I can't see.

Villa all over Citee early on. And then Silva scores!

Although self appointed best goalie ever and 1970s gender defining Martinez should have saved it

Good game this. Rashford pen. 1-1. Clear pen despite Pep whinging like prime Klopp.

In my opinion Everton did very well getting fifty million for your man Onana !

Onana scored a blast of a goal the other day but he looks like crap today.

Yeah, we've sold well. Richi, Iwobi and Gordon all well priced also.

Onana looks like he slipped on a banana, every time he's got the ball.

So many empty seats at the Etihad, and yet they’ll post a full house.

I’m in Mallorca for, cough, work.
Watched the first half of city v Villa in a shite English pub with shite wine so moved to a Spanish bar where I’m enjoying a good local wine and the first half of Barca v RCD Mallorca.
This young Barcelona team are going to be absolute world beaters.
It’s like watching the Harlem Globetrotters of football and they are soooo young still.
Mallorca’s keeper is very busy and having a stormer.
Forca Barca!

Jeff, the city fans had a protest before the game against the pricing and unavailability of season tickets for locals. They’ve increased capacity by 8,000 but none of those are up for the waiting list. They’re pricing out the local fans.
The PL is rapidly becoming an elite sport for the elite rich.
Up the fcuking Broadbridge Heath non league Boars is what I’ll probably be saying in 10 years time…

Jeff, Arsenal do it. Not so obvious now, but a few years ago, it was published as a sell out even though you could see empty seats. They must go on the basis season tickets / tickets are sold regardless of who turns up. I don't know but that's all I can assume.

Yes Danny I have heard the same thing, maybe we’ll see something similar in midweek league games at BMD as people might not be able to make kick off times due to transport, work, and late finishing times. It’s just odd for such a big match tonight re champions league positions, and it’s the current champions playing at home.

If it is season ticket holders not turning up you’d think they’d have an official selling platform and indeed a market for unwanted tickets.

United fine fans for non-attendance of games. This is to discourage fans buying a season ticket for just the big games.

Think you get two non-attendance games and are encouraged to sell your seat back to the club.

Disabled fans were unhappy on price rises on tickets and car parking, with some being displaced for corporate under Ineos. They were then being penalised for non attendance, which could be due to medical issues or lack of a carer.

Barca just scored. I predict the first of many.

Their manager, Hansi Flick (Allo Allo anyone?) is cool as fuck in his jeans, black tee and bomber jacket).

Barca play 4-4-2 which quickly becomes 4-3-3 or even 4-2-4 when they attack (lightning fast). I reckon Iraola could bring us that.

That's crackers that, fining fans for not turning up. Fuck right off.

John McGinns arse is huge

That Yamal is unplayable!

Football head says a PSG v Barcelona final Mark. For obvious reasons, I'd like to see Villa do the unthinkable.

Liam, are you clocking McGinns arse? Rating out of 10 on a beer fog induced night out?!!!

Villa will struggle to get to a final of a competition they've already been knocked out of, Danny! 🤣

The channel I'm watching on, Mallorca plus, have a live “inter bars” fantasy league that is synched to live action. The team currently in second is Santa Domingo FC.

Given that Spanish lads would call their team FC Santa Domingo, I'm thinking Magalluf expats??

Trying to watch this City - Villa game

I think I'm beginning to understand what Tony has been moaning about for so long.

Cynical fouls,
Pathetic offsides,
No intensity or desire...

It's just crap really.

I've been listening to too much Talk Sport. My bad.

I suppose it would be Liam, big detached job in Kings Heath no doubt, didn’t realise you where cockney!

I'd give McGinns arse 1, Danny

As cockernee as Dick Van Dyke, Jeff?

City, how many times does this happen?

Been awful, but get out of jail again.

Oh, wait a minute...

Just lulling them into stupefaction before the rapier-like strike at the far post.

Silly me!

Yet another Premier League bore fest. Villa stunk.

And for the life of me, I still don't see what Onana brings to any team.

Easy winning away at the top 4..

Chelsea have to win their match against us at the weekend to stand a chance of Champions League next season.

That's probably Villa out of the game. Forest and Newcastle can catch City, but one more win should seal it for City with goal difference.

I agree with Tony and you, Michael. The Premier League is fcuking infuriating now with all the simulation and cynical play.
The La Liga game I'm watching is actually much more honest.

Remember when we used to sneer at the continentals?
We are the bad guys now. It's shameful.

Dark arts and game management.

Two phrases that sum it all up.

They just find a way to grind out the wins, when the performance doesn't merit it.

Weak and tired minds, better subs, tactical genius, what ever it is, inferior sides rarely seem to see a game out when there's 120 seconds to go. The opposition passing usually goes to pot, with the ball being coughed up and nothing sticking.

Mark@214.

I'd say the la liga, Italian league and German league are far superior to the Premier League. I can't wait till the bubble bursts and the TV companies realise they paying a lot of money for a rubbish league.

Paul, I'm not sure about the Italian League - I never watch it - but La Liga is infinitely more exciting. I don't like Madrid at all but they are exciting to watch. I love watching this new Barca team play though I also have soft spots for Betis (manque se pierda) and Bilbao (imagine the pride in a a pure “scouse” team?

The Premier League is sucking the life out of football.

Everton is almost a cult for me now – we'll never be realistic, fair play, level pitch, competitors until the Sky darlings fuck off to their own world. And when that happens, the Champions of England trophy will be forever diluted. Fuck them.

I watch all 3 of them leagues they are better than the Premier League.

I hate the fact the Premier League has made me lose interest in football in this country, it's bloody terrible and corrupt. I only watch the Everton games really, I might watch a game if it looks decent but it rarely is.

If football in this country ended tomorrow, I wouldn't care less.

Murph... Forca Barca indeed. Can't wait for the Copa del Rey final on Saturday. I assume you'll be watching it from some packed footy bar in Mallorca. Lucky SOB!

Ian Bennett @197: Think you get two nonattendance games and are encouraged to sell your seat back to the club.

I think it's a minimum of 15 Ian. The very vocal Belfast red devil who went public with club emails was told that he was losing his ST because he had or will not attend 15 games.

Love this Paul Hewitt led rant against the PL and canonisation of La Liga, Serie A, and the Bundesliga. Might I suggest Hewey, Mark M, and anyone else that you might immerse yourselves in what Italians, Germans, and Spaniards think about their respective leagues.

Joachim Hewey, Guiseppi Hewey, and Santiago Hewey say - guess what - exactly the same as Paul Hewey. The Bundesliga is as boring as shite. Just rename the league Bayern. Anyone honestly think that there are more exciting games there than say in the PL?

La Liga only really gets interesting outside the Barca/Madrid/Athletico triangle where the PL's Villa, Forest, Fulham, Brentford, Brighton etc. match the Celta Vigo, Sociedad, and Bilbao's. Yet again the triangle has pulled away from the usual rest/rump.

Serie A!!!!!!! Bollocks. Defensive safety first with some dash and flair not least at Bologna and Atalanta. Seriously, anyone who feels that Serie A matters more than the PL and serves up more is, well, xxxxxxxx

Bayern, Real, Barcelona, Athletico, Inter plus one. Don't confuse stand-out teams with their leagues.

It's so easy on our VAR rants, our (YAWN) they have it in for Everton, or inconsistent reffing to have a pop at our domestic league.

THATS WHAT EVERY FUCKER IN GERMANY, ITALY, AND SPAIN TODAY RANT AND RAVE ABOUT OUTSIDE GUESS WHAT THEIR SKY 1, 2, 3, OR 4.

The PL IS BY FAR the most watched league in the world. It's where a majority of players want to play and where TV companies want to spend their money as a first priority knowing the audience size.

There is so much about football and the PL that I have no time for and sometimes contempt, but Hewey et al claims that erm Deutschland and Italia are so much better is based on a fleeting acquaintance with those leagues (i.e. the stuff served up in the box: love the idea of Hewey watching 10 matches in Germany each week) and nothing to do with what actual fans in that particular country think about their league.

I do love watching, for example, Barcelona, by the way, but I'm not daft enough to think that what I am watching is Spanish football writ large.

No Mike,

I'll be at Stamford Bridge!

Wow!

Now that's a rant!

Paul @223,

I think that could be said about most of the leagues in Europe. Is the Premier League really English football or reflection of it?

Reading a BBC report from last year, the average number of English players per club is about 30%.

Everton had the most at 64%, but when you got to Tottenham and Arsenal, it was as low as 8%.

Danny, but that is not the criterion that Hewey and others are. using mate and backs up my point that the Premier League is for player and provider by some way the desirable destination.

You know the Bundesliga better than me but hand on heart do you think that the Bundesliga is superior in quality to the Premier League? The one thing that springs to mind, and this is important, is fan ownership. But that is not what Hewey etc were going on about.

Paul, I would say in terms of entertainment, the Bundesliga can be. It is a different type of game. Regardless of nationality of players, it has a certain trademark to it. A bit slower than the Premier League and more considered rather than the cut and thrust of English football.

Probably not as competitive as the Premier League, with Bayern almost guaranteed the title most seasons.

It's like the "brand" of the Spanish flair and Italian defensive tactics.

One concern I would have about the Premier League is that a lot of the matches do actually become a tough watch, once the euphoria of the grand entrance is over and the whistle blows.

I've always considered the Germans a half-way house between English and say Italian. They are a bit more technical than our players (English ones), but equally as physical, whilst being defensively solid, without doing an Italian Job. I always said, it's what we would like English players to be like. Ze Germans that is to avoid confusion.

I don't want to be unkind to English footballers and always finish on a positive as they say. It's improved the past couple of years in terms of flair and skill, but there is still an emphasis on pace and power.

I'm with Paul on this, the Premier League is far and away the best and toughest league in the world, which is why the top players want to play here and why it is viewed in so many countries around the world.

I used to religiously watch Serie A back in the day when Channel 4 covered it but I don't really have an appetite to watch it anymore.

Paul, I should have added, for continuous atmosphere throughout the match, the Bundesliga matches, if not surpasses the Premier League. It's a great experience and I'd recommend it to anyone.

But in a very different way, I'd say that about League 2 matches. There are some crazy fans down there and the football is more honest and a surprisingly decent standard. Well, it doesn't surprise me, but it would for those who have never watched it live.

On the nations mentioned, totally random, but I'll rate the nicknames for the national teams:

England. The Three Lions. A bit mundane. 3/5.

Germany. Die National Elf (national eleven) or die Mannschaft (the Team). Very poor. 1/5.

Spain. La Roja (the red (one)) or La Furia Roja (the red fury). Just bang out of order. 0/5 and a red card.

Italy. Gli Azzurri (the blues). My favourite. 6/5.

Final random one but this is kind of linked to the Bundesliga comments and I've mentioned before. Why do we call them Bayern Munich? If it's in German, it is Bayern Munchen. If translated to English, it is Bavaria Munich. I guess that doesn't have the same ring to it. Sorry, that's just the linguistic geek in me.

Hewey and Murph - sorry Mark - is Rugby League better than the Bundesliga?

Crap Nigel - 230 - you said it in 7 lines rather than my 50.

Murph is good, Paul.

Rugby League is better than anything except Everton.
Now go to bed! Love you.

Thewell heavily linked with a move to Rangers as DofF. A decent move to prove he could be a good director of football or a possible graveyard that will finish it off?

With celtic's dominance and cash over rangers, that's a tough move to prove yourself in my opinion.

I thought he was out of his depth at Everton despite the behind the scenes shit show. He could find himself in a similar situation. Will be interesting to see who he signs.

Rugby League is a great watch played by honest men who give their all for 80 minutes, a game I've never watched in person but get great pleasure seeing it on TV and reading about it since I was very young.

I think it's correct that most foreign players want to play in the Premier League and the main reason like always is money. Some will even go to the Arab countries for that reason; money will always be the main attraction. That's why Salah and Van Dijk are staying with Liverpool – not the sentimental shite that Van Dijk talks about.

Just an FYI for any members who haven’t got a ticket for Southampton home. Check your inbox as the ballot is now open.
UTFT

By the way - how many on here knew, without seeing it on Google, that today was St George’s Day??

Murph or Smurf? 😁😁

Which character though Rob?

1. Papa Smurf?

2. Garganel (when he gets angry).

3. Smurfette (probably only at weekends)!

Yes Dave, Salah and St Virgil of Anfield are reportedly earning a combined salary of nearly £1M per week between them. That might just have had something to do with their decision!!!

My comments on Rugby League will have to wait until November when I attend England v Australia at the Everton Stadium with my Rugby League mentor Mark (Murph), who is arranging pre-match preparatory lessons for me in Doctor Duncan's, so I will have some idea what is going on.

Mark, St George's Day seems to be low profile. Unlike St Patricks Day. The Irish and Scottish mark there's with public holidays. I don't think the Welsh do likewise with Sheedy, sorry St David's Day.

There's a coach at my cricket club known as Smurf, Dave. His name isn't Murphy though so I can only assume he's called that because he's very "vertically challenged" about 5' nowt.

He was angry at nets the other night and said "I'm NOT happy!" I said, "Which one are you then?" (he didn't laugh either.)

I have a dilemma then tonight... Athletic Bilbao v Las Palmas is on TV as well as Arsenal v Palace (albeit different kick offs.)

I was going to watch the Spanish game but can't be bothered now that I know La Liga is crap.

Danny - you'll love it mate, I'll even translate the common phrases for you, such as "gerrum onside ref, you bent twat" and "fookin IT that big, durty fooker" and "walsin mitilda me fookin big urrey arse"

A language lesson as well Mark. Double bonus!!

By eck as like.
5.30 pm here, Spanish time.
Just enjoying a Ribera del Duero to whet my whistle before el gran partido..
venga!
Arriba Los Malditos Caramelos!

Repetition, sorry

Didn't know that you had brainwashed Danny to go to the rugger Murph. Danny, you just have to write a match report. I'm already looking forward to it.

I see that it looks like Thelwell is heading off to Rangers. Not exactly the sort of top top club that one or two were predicting on here. I'll give him two years at Rangers where just about everything is set up for failure.

I know the inevitable shouldn't bother me and it won't. I thought about staying in tonight, but I'll go out and watch it with a few friends. It has no bearing on us is what I keep telling myself.

I would have advised those in the city to lie low, but there's no point. There is no escaping it. Even down here, they will be crawling all over the place like an army of ants. It doesn't matter where you are, they will be everywhere, like a plague of locusts coming out of their closets, declaring their lifelong support.

I'm more worried for myself about turning on the BBC in the morning and being subject to the love fest, that they will have been rehearsing. I will start shouting, the dog will hide, thinking it's directed at her. I will then have to apologise and coax her back in. Meanwhile, my poached egg will be overdone. First world problems, but I will blame them.

I'm going to focus on Chelsea on Saturday. I'm going with my cousin and his mates, all Chelsea and sat amongst the Chelsea fans. Not only do we have mutual dislike of them, they will look after me. I'll break ranks to meet up with Mark and when we know were we're meeting, I will let everyone know. Alternatively, just let us know where you will be if attending.

I hope there is blue smoke rising from the Vatican soon, so we can be done with this red evil that has plagued us most of my lifetime.

Spirit, forever. The Originals. You'll have to excuse me. It's getting close to match day, so I'm turning into the other me that is only interested in what happens on the pitch.

Thelwell's appointment confirmed at Mediocrity FC. Sorry Rangers.

I didn’t PF - he thought it was a Taylor Swift concert….
I’ve not seen the Aussies live since the great Ellery Hanley served them their arses at wemblee!
My gobshite brother in law, who’s a massive Saints and RL fan, didn’t listen when I told him the tickets would go fast and has missed out. I told him he wouldn’t be allowed in anyway as he stinks of glory hunting red. He was the year above me at school in the 70s and was a blue. His surname is Kenyon and I used to call him Roger. Imagine my surprise and disgust when he started courting my sister and I said I was delighted that she was seeing a blue, only for him to tell me he’d changed colours…
My sister has now forbidden me to use the word “koppite” as she knows what I really mean when using it to greet him. “Alright, koppite”?
Anyway, got to dash, the mighty Getafe (where the Fcuk is that anyway) are warming up to play los puta merengues!
UTFT

I didn’t PF - he thought it was a Taylor Swift concert….
I’ve not seen the Aussies live since the great Ellery Hanley served them their arses at wemblee!
My gobshite brother in law, who’s a massive Saints and RL fan, didn’t listen when I told him the tickets would go fast and has missed out. I told him he wouldn’t be allowed in anyway as he stinks of glory hunting red. He was the year above me at school in the 70s and was a blue. His surname is Kenyon and I used to call him Roger. Imagine my surprise and disgust when he started courting my sister and I said I was delighted that she was seeing a blue, only for him to tell me he’d changed colours…
My sister has now forbidden me to use the word “koppite” as she knows what I really mean when using it to greet him. “Alright, koppite”?
Anyway, got to dash, the mighty Getafe (where the Fcuk is that anyway) are warming up to play los puta merengues!
UTFT

Doh! Shite Spanish Wi-Fi!
Apologies for the repetition of waffle…
Tell you what- if we think the TV coverage in UK is biased towards the RS and Man Utd you should get a load of the Spanish TV when RM are in town!

Raheem Sterling is completely finished

Mark - how does a grown man change his team? Can't trust that type of person.

Howya Paul F and Danny. I watch the Premier league and the Italian Spanish and German leagues. I’m amazed at the technique and skill of the continental leagues but also get frustrated at the lack of technical ability in most of the British and Irish players. It all stem from the early days coaching. The continental players don’t need to run their tripe out as they are coached with a ball and their heads up. The British and Irish players are thought how to run hard with them being told to cover a huge amount of ground. From an early age the should be coached into allowing the ball cover the ground and develop their ball passing skills.

Are all the sky commentators, and co-commentators, all rs fans? Every game I watch all they talk about is the rs this and the rs that…

Are the PL games doing a minutes silence for the pope??

Only if he was a koppite, mark.

2-1 'teta

Actually, without wishing to reopen last nights rantaphon, the refreshing absence of play acting, rolling around and shithousery of last nights game has been amply replaced already after only 4 minutes of this game. Madrid have a kid who looks like that dwarf Arnold from that 80s show who, to be fair, got a shove in the back off the ball after 40 seconds. He stopped rolling after the second minute. He’s now holding his teeth like he’s been hit by Tyson Fury.
And he’s got fcuking big teeth…
Another Madrid player down - to be fair, Getafe ARE getting into them. If this was a derby we’d be down to 9 men already.
Which was sort of part of my drink riddled point last night…
The refs here are still reffing the game, VAR only intervenes if clear and obvious.
That Villa Penalty wouldn’t have been given in Spain IN MY OPINION…
UTFT

El Pape was a San Lorenzo de Almagro ultra.

This is scary.

Check yer club membership numbers.

San Lorenzo fans took to social media on news of the pope's death to point out that his club membership number - 88235N-0 - coincided exactly with his age and the time of death. "He died at 88 years old, at 2:35am (in Buenos Aires, 0535 GMT) and was member 88235

I spent time in Germany as a child Sean and played for a local team. We trained and played on clay / gravel pitches. Without the need for coaching, it teaches you to stay on your feet, use your head and care for the ball as if it's your own.

What the fuck was Moyes doing bringing Michael Keane on the pitch against City.

Sorry had to get that out. Still bugging me.

Meanwhile, in the old world, Real are in total control.
Getafe are playing a back nine even though a goal down.
Last night Barcelona absolutely battered Mallorca’s (Ibizenco) goalie, 1-0.
PF is correct (May God forgive me) but there is a gulf in class twixt the elite and the rest.
I maintain though, that it’s good to watch.

He loves you Mark. He's forgiven you.

Lewis-Skelly has the dead eyes of a great white shark. He makes nasty fouls and buys free kicks.

I think he may be a psychopath and I am scared of him.

Who?
I’m married
I like girrrlllss
Arse
Feck!

As an aside and on a complete tangent, I’m sat in the corner of a Mallorcan bar with half an eye on TW (Toffee Web😘) and the other three quarters on the Getafe game (it’s a suburb of Madrid, by the way).
The bar is in an aparthotel complex that caters for the Lycra boys over for the annual spring time road blocking tournament.
It’s full of the fcukers.
They make ToffeeWeb sound like a discussion between Greek and Roman philosophers.
Tw@ts

Better out than in Liam.

A bit like holding on when you'll really need to attend a call of nature!