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Could Everton win the World Cup?

By Nick Cowell :  05/07/2010 :  Comments (17) :

With one eye still on the World Cup and the other looking towards the new Premier League season, I wondered to myself how well Everton could have fared had we replaced England in the greatest show on Earth (you know it?s one of those parallel universe type things where life is almost, but not quite the same).

Like England, would we have fallen in the last 16?, would we even have qualified from our group? Or would we have gone on to be crowned champions of the world?

Well here?s what might, just might, have happened...

Everton 1 v 0 USA

Despite heroics in the American goal from Tim Howard and the constant threat of Landon Donovan, a Leighton Baines cross onto a Louis Saha header is enough to seal victory. Stand in keeper Jan Mucha survives a scare when Clint Dempsey's long range effort is almost spilled... Almost.

Everton 2 - 0 Algeria

A comfortable win for the Blue Boys, with a Mikel Arteta free-kick and a Steven Pienaar bullet despatching the Africans comfortably. Other results mean that the Blues are already assured of qualification, and Bill Kenwright is spotted on the big screen blowing his vuvuzela in celebration.

Everton 1 - 0 Slovenia

With qualification from the group already assured, the Toffees can afford to rest a few and give some of the fringe players a run out. However, any fear felt by the Slovenians following the first 2 victories is soon nullified when Everton saunter out the tunnel in the new pink away kit. But the Pinks still prevail and a poachers goal by Jermaine Beckford from a Seamus Coleman cross ensures that Everton take maximum points from the group, meaning a last 16 tie with Ghana.

Everton 2 - 1 Ghana

One of the games of the tournament sees Everton scrape through after extra-time. An early scrambled goal from Marouane Fellaini from a corner is soon cancelled out by a header from Asamoah Gyan. The Yak is fed late on but somehow misses the yawning goal and we're into extra-time. However, the Blues' superior stamina counts when Phil Neville swings in a deep cross and Tim Cahill powers home a trademark header before knocking seven bells out of the corner flag.

Everton 1 - 1 Uruguay (Everton win 6-5 on penalties)

Everton have reached the quarter-finals where surprise package Uruguay await. Despite an early solo effort from Jack Rodwell, the Uruguayans pin the Toffees back courtesy of a Diego Forlan strike. The game peters out into extra-time followed by penalties, where a combination of Tim Howard?s heroics and cool finishes from messrs Baines, Neville, Arteta, Yakubu and Jagielka send the fans into raptures and Everton into the semi-finals.

Everton 0 ? 1 Holland

Realistically (as far as any of this is realistic!) a meeting with the Dutch pass-masters spells the end of the tournament for the Toffess. With Johnny Heitinga in control at the back for Holland, Everton are unable to find a way through, but it still takes a wonder goal from Arjen Robben to defeat the Blues. There?s some late cheer however when Dirk Kuyt is sent off for a second yellow and bursts into tears as he realises he?s missed the final.

ALTERNATIVE ENDING!

In true Wayne?s World stylee and seeing as this is after all a parellel universe how about this for an alternative ending.....

Everton 2 ? 1 Holland

A late equaliser from supersub Victor Anichebe and an extra-time cross-cum-shot from Phil Neville sends the Blues into the Final and David Moyes into a full length Klinsmann-esque dive on the touchline.

Fifa World Cup Final: Everton 1 - 0 Spain

Mikel Arteta runs the show, nutmegging Xabi Alonso before curling the ball past a despairing Reina (Casillas is out injured).

Or

Fifa World Cup Final: Everton 0 - 0 Germany (Everton win 11-10 on penalties)

After a blatant Steven Pienaar goal is adjudged not to have crossed the line (and still no sign of goal-line technology even in the parallel universe), the stalemate goes to penalties. Each spot kick is expertly tucked away by the Germans and Toffees alike, until the German keeper Neuer misses his. Up steps the eleventh taker, sub Tony Hibbert, and smashes the jabulani into the top corner..............................

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