FAN ARTICLES

Glorious Goodison

I last went to Goodison in 1979 (I think it was a game against Feyenoord)?! 32 years later, I returned (like Douglas McArthur) for the Blackburn game. I sat in the Lower Gwladys and was pleasantly surprised at the space I had for my legroom. I have been spoilt at the Stadium of Light and St James' Park when I have gone to watch our lads play at those venues.

After a scintillating first half, I needed a pee. It was then brought home to me how bloody awful the facilities are at Goodison, such as bogs and refreshments. We have been through the whys and wherefores of whether or not we should leave Goodison, but it's gone very quiet on the rebuilding of the stadium front.

I watched a video on YouTube today that made Goodison look superb after a rebuilding job, with the towers and a revamped lake in Stanley Park. Are KEIOC continuing to pursue this idea, or have they given up because of the indifference of the board and the current economic situation?

Two things come to mind about this: Have the club, or KEIOC thought of applying to the EC for some sort of development grant? If they've got anything left over after spending on helping Austrian farmers to emotionally bond with their surroundings, and tanning salons for Hungarian dogs, would they be prepared to help out a famous English football club?

Secondly, there is the effort being made by the two lads who came on Toffeeweb (Tony I'Anson and Mike Owen) to get the Supporters Trust up and running ? Good Luck to you both there.

Thirdly, I had a dream last night. I looked over and I saw the Promised Land. Would it be possible to form an English football fans club that cost only about £1 a month to be a member, regardless of what club you support ? Premier, League 1, Blue Square, whatever? When the National Lottery first started, I thought it was a great idea but I misunderstood the ideas that those who run it, had. I thought that with the profits, we would see celebs appear about once a month, telling us that the committee had decided that "this month we are going to give £6M to the Children's Hospital in London and £6M to the John Brennan fund for real ale drinkers down on their luck". I regret to report, the cheque must have been lost in the post... Instead, the cash appears to have disappeared into a vortex of different causes and areas, and none of us knows fuck all about it!

Well, I have no idea how much could be raised from that number of fans/contributors, but wouldn't it be brilliant, I mean really brilliant, if approximately £21,383,427.88 were raised every few months or so? A panel of ex-footballers and managers would meet (but only when the kitty reached the above figure or thereabouts) and would decide who the lucky club or clubs were who would benefit from this largesse? For fairness to other clubs, my panel would be Phil Thompson, Howard Kendall, Bob Latchford, Duncan Mckenzie and Joe Royle. If you have a panel of 5, there will always be a solution, no splits!!

Also, there would be a draw on either live TV, Sky Sports or where ever, announcing a £100,000 winner, a £50,000 winner and ten £10,000 winners. WOW, what a fantastic idea?!? ... NO, NO, NO, it's ok, I don't want any recognition for myself, but this could be the equivalent of David Cameron's Big Society in action.

Just imagine enjoying the Royal Wedding next Friday, and then tuning in to watch Phil Thompson announcing that the £21,383,427.88 cheque would be presented to Everton captain Phil Neville for rebuilding the latrines and helping over-served fat beer drinkers like me through new, widened, super improved turnstiles?

Anyway, my next game will be the Man City game and if anyone wants my autograph, I shall, of course, be happy to provide it (photo £5 extra +VAT)...

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