FAN ARTICLES

Fly on the wall postmatch

Moyes is in a complete sulk now, first he doesn't tell Tony Cheek his post match comments after he blabbed them to all and sundry on Toffeeweb. Next no press comments. The bunker is closing in on him.

Not to worry: my fly on the wall was at the post-match bevvy where the players had much to say.

Howard: "We've got to win the next one for the gipper. Leon and Mikey, you quarterbacks have got to give more hail mary balls up to the Oh-fence."

Hibbert: "Yeah dee shud do, shudn't dee, worra bout me cleanance doh, youse owe me a beer twitchy."

Jagielka: "I hate it when they play it over me head, I can't get any of me world-famous recovery tackles in."

Distin: "Certainment, je suis merde at le long ball."

Baines [shyly mumbles]: "I need another pie, any one seen that fella with the dreds recently?"

Coleman: "Sure an it used to be easy this footy lark, so it was. But they've sussed me out, so they have."

Neville: "We will be sure to win the next one for both readers of the Official Site... anyway, what about my goal, and my pen and my season defining tackle on Ronaldo, surely proof that the Everton Way works."

Heitinga:"For sure, Pip, fuck off, you sound like Doddy."

Arteta: "I wanna go-a home-a por favor. I never thought-a they would really-a give-a me the £75k... what a mistake-a to make-a."

Osman: "Why can't we play Citeh every week, I coulda been a contender."

Anichebe: "Yo, repect Leon, they pickin on me coz I'm local, innit."

Girl collecting the glasses: "Nah, it's coz you're shite and have a bad attitude." [Starts putting the chairs on the table, ready for the cleaner] "Come on, drink up, haven't you got mansions to go to..." [sotto voce:] "Losers."

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