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From My Seat: West Ham Utd (A)

Match Report from Upton Park

The weather forecasters told not to travel south unless the journey was absolutely essential. Well a full complement of Blues assembled in the away end of ‘The ground in the estate’ so we got an idea of what is essential to Evertonians. Its well into the panto season so the FA sent ‘Dame Notaklu’ as our festive arbiter.

We started well, early doors Distin got high and headed down as you are taught but his header was powerful and straight down and hit the deck with force and cleared the bar by a fair distance. Better was expected from a good chance. Then Dame Notaklu’s assistant Dim Doug took centre stage to wave a flag and deny a soaring Ossie from celebrating a good header that bulged the net and all for an imaginary foul. Perhaps he had a vision of principle boy Shawcross in his head.
Wouldn’t you just know it they went down the other end Cole got on to a pass and turned Heitinga inside out and planted a powerful shot past Howard. Rather than blame a Blue I thought it was a great two touch and finish from an in form striker.

Big Vic and Neville had appeared back in the team as if by magic (Coleman had disappeared from the squad presumably by the same magic) and Neville was in the move that earned a corner and as it came in Vic stood with arms crossed over his chest so that even Dim Doug could not mistake him for Shawcross. We didn’t score from it though but we had recovered some composure from the panto antics of the officials? And were looking a tidy team as the half drew to a close.

Second half and no changes and from the off we dominated, Gibson came close with a free kick curler, Osman, Pienaar and Baines were causing havoc with quick pass and move patterns and on 65 mins one of these moves saw Pienaar float one in and Big Vic without laying a finger on anyone in the box deftly changed the direction of the ball and steered it beyond the helpless keeper into the far corner. Cue mayhem behind the goal as Big Vic ran to the fans with face distorted as he clearly yelled ‘Come on’ whilst wildly waving arms akin to a demented orchestra conductor.

That deflated the ‘Hammers’ a bit as we strode forth but just 5 mins after we scored Dame Notaklu intervened as Cole went to pull a long ball from the dark skies but Baines in try ing to prevent this collided with his foot around shoulder height and went over but got straight up to have another bite but Notaklu had already blown and was showing red, now we hardly ever complain when an opponent is sent off in fact we cheer and wave bye-bye but this was so ludicrous all you could hear was loud conversations airing disbelief. If that was a sending off then at least 16 players would have walked at Stoke.

Still the game must go on but I had this fear that the decision was so wrong that Notaklu would even it up as soon as possible but we continued with a lot of joined up stuff that would befit a top four team and from one of these we took the lead. Great pass and move stuff around the box looking for an opening, à la Barca, saw Osman slipped in to the by-line and his quick feet left two defenders for dead and his pull back saw Pienaar get the last touch as the ball was bundled over the line, mayhem again as Pienaar showed fans his second skin proclaiming that ‘God is great’ and he didn’t get booked for raising his shirt and celebrating with our fans.

We were well on top now but just could not convert with the biggest culprit being Jelavic boy is he short of confidence and form, he hasn’t seemed the same to me since his country left him out of the team for the last tournament, One miss when he hit the wrong side of the side netting was a touch embarrassing, perhaps Pienaar could have a word with that god of his.

Into injury time and we got a touch desperate and it just had to happen no not a goal but a sending off this time Gibson who attempting to clear at the same time as a WHU player was trying to attack saw both players with a foot raised Gibson’s just higher than his opponent and that was enough for Notaklu has he had that red card in his hand from nowhere that would have put ‘Dynamo’ to shame. Never any intent from either player just rank bad officialdom. So bad in fact both sets of fans joined together in a rendition of ‘Yer don’t know what yer’ doin’. At the final whistle both managers seemed to hang back awaiting for the panto villain to be booed off.

MotM – Take your pick from Osman, Baines and Pienaar.

Overall a good wet day out and a good performance from the players who played some good stuff at times and I thought the manager did well when you consider our absentees he found a formation and a way to win. Time is passing fast so I will see you Boxing Day for a pint, turkey buttie and mince pie before celebrating another three points toward either Champions League or safety such is the tight nature of this league.

Merry Christmas, everyone!
UP THE BLUES

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