Funes Mori once trialled with Chelsea

John if your reading this, they wouldn't know an atmosphere like that at Stamford Bridge if it smacked them in the face lad!

You would be joining a classless club with classless Strictly Come Lately fans that would be giving you the dogs abuse after one bad game, not to mention the media who think Chelsea are as big as Barcelona and Real Madrid.

They are NOT!!

Big strong CB, good in the air with a specialist left foot. Keeps his position well but has one or two basic closing down and tackling faults which need to be ironed out. Still plenty of time for improvement, he'll learn the Premier League way from Jags and Stones but I wouldn't want him to start just yet. Says he ready to work hard and weekly training sessions against our speedy forwards will do him the power of good.

You probably get two thirds the finished article for £9.5M these days and Martinez must think he can make this lad a much better player than he already is. I hope he succeeds.

That's the key thing he'll (hopefully) be bringing to the table, for me. Jags and Stones, both individually and together as a partnership, have a lot of plus points but are often up against it when faced with high balls slung into the box. From what I've read about Funes Mori, this is one area in which he excels.

Similarly, ever since Lescott left, we've lacked someone who can come up from the back and get their head to a set piece in the opposition box. Okay, we had Fellaini, but there's just something about a central defender connecting cleanly and powering a header home that I love to see. Maybe because it's an unexpected/additional source of goals when the games are tight and your strikers are struggling to make the breakthrough.

With respect to pronunciation, it really is said as you see it. If you hear it more like "FuneMori" it's because they have difficulty pronouncing some letter combinations, especially of consonants, because they don't occur in the language, so when they do, they just skip them rather than distort the mouth to get the tongue around the sound. But it generally only occurs in names such as this, or words imported from other languages. English is the most prevalent as it is heard more. For example Sprite is pronounced just Spry and Light is just Ly (ite sound is too hard!)

Anyway, here endeth the lesson! Shall we just call him Ramiro instead?

It was the Copa De Libertadores final with River Plate leading 2-0. Everyone was happy but didn't quite feel safe. They needed a third goal and Funes Mori duly obliged. Rising like a salmon to a corner, he sent a rocket header into the net.

The place went mad. Never seen anything like it Great stuff indeed. After a very nervy start, he certainly got his act together.