Return of the Prodigal Son: What Would Wayne Rooney Do for Everton?

I would take the other 3 though, for sure.

This isn't the case for all players, but for those that are most affected, a hectic midfield is usually the most demanding place to be, albeit in a different way. Many forwards take the route of continuing their role at a lower-league/club level, even if their abilities might suggest a suitability for playing deeper.

It's hard to tell just what Rooney still has to offer. Playing less this season has placed less demand on him. It also indicates of course that Mourinho can't/won't use him, though it would be hard to distill the exact reasons for that, from the outside.

Personally, I question the importance of the talisman/commercial angle to us, and equally the suggestion that his presence would attract other players to the club at this stage. His beneficial influence on younger players – I'm not sure. As well as a football brain, Rooney simply had masses of talent and you can't give that to others.

Similar points were cited in regard to the signing of Ibrahimovic to United, but the plain truth is, he's delivered the goods on the pitch.

Speculation has quietened recently, but should Wayne return, the thought of a season or two of the old magic is a fantasy thought for sure... but I'm not sure. So, I have to agree with your closing line, Gary.

No Rooney, no has-beens, Ginolas, Gazzas or any of Col's suggestions. Look at Spurs, the average age of their team, that's what we need.

The game is changing: pure stamina, energy, flexibility, changing positions ad hoc from the sidelines. No old dogs that can't change at Everton, please!

These guys are all winners and they are certainly no Gazza/Ginola type washouts.

Butland, Koulibaly, Tielemans, and a decent back up striker. Big outlay, but still some deadwood to shift.

I know and understand the feelings where Rooney's concerned and I've never been one of his haters but it's too late in my eyes. The money could be spent much better somewhere else.

Trevor Birch didn't last long, especially once he told Ring-Fence Bill, that he had to sell Everton's only real asset, but I think we all felt cheated at the time. But why would a grown man cry down the phone to the buyer, unless he had no other choice but to sell?

Back to the footy, and the same thing applies. Will we be getting a footballer who is finished, or will we be getting a footballer with un-finished business? Will Everton, be getting a hungry player, or is it just too late for Rooney to reignite his quality?

Questions that will only be answered if he returns.

Set against that, Rooney is under-played and under-motivated at Man Utd. He would be a man on a mission with a lot to prove for us. His motivation and leadership could be a vital asset. If I was him, I wouldn't do it, but if he comes, I'll back him to the hilt.

I'm of the opinion that it would be worth having him back for a couple of years. I don't believe Koeman would welcome a passenger back and would only have him if he thought he could deliver.

A yes for me as he is exactly what we're missing at the moment, someone who is an intelligent footballer who can see things others can't. He's available and more to the point would want to come and prove he still has it. He's not a Gazza or Ginola, he's still only 31 and still very talented with a lot to offer. A win win for me.

Definitely no to Kompany and Toure. Kompany way too injury-prone and Toure, crikey if we thought Lukaku was bad with his ego, Toure takes it to whole new level. Absolutely not, he's just trouble. Not worth it at his age. I would have Hart though.

No to the likes of Kompany and Toure, and for that matter, also Butland whose injury record makes him a huge risk.

Unsure about Hart as I believe there are better goalkeepers out there (eg, TImo Horn of FC Koln) who are younger and would probably be available for less.

We know it would not be the crisp laser-sharp pacy Wayne Rooney that broke through in 2002 as a teenager and dynamically destroyed the likes of Arsenal and Leeds United. It would be a player that's battle weary, maybe no longer possesses the will to win as much as he did 14 years ago.

Maybe the brain is still there to play behind the striker and pull the strings? But will the body allow it? He certainly won't be the answer to a 20-25-goals-a-season striker if Lukaku goes.

As for Kompany? Great in his younger days but we don't need a player who appears three times a season and has had too many injuries to still be the same as he was.

Toure? Again too old, too much self-indulgence and would be too much a sideshow with him, great at his peak but his peak long gone.

Hart I would have and we should have done this last summer especially if there was a lone option available; hard to fathom if we could have got Hart on loan though why would Koeman prefer to go for Stekelenburg??

Looks nailed on.

Rooney, contrary to my concerns when he was a youngster here, has shown himself to be a team player par excellence. He has played in any position his managers have called for and never given less than his best. He has appeared to me to be somewhat disillusioned this season though. Josie doesn't fancy him, that much is obvious, and he is a player who thrives on playing football, week-in & week-out.

He looks heavy at the minute, probably because of that lack of game time. If we had him he'd be first name on the sheet for me.

I would look to play him behind the main striker. He has an eye for a pass that we haven't had since Leon Osman was at his best, and before that, Mikel Arteta.

Play Rooney behind any striker and he will create plenty of chances for the team. He's a player who would find a second chance at his boyhood club and he has the strong winning mentality to take it, hopefully we get him for at least one season.

I don't want players who "used to do it"... Kompany "on his day"... Rooney "on his day"... Sturridge "on his day" – yesterday's men or sicknotes = on his day.

I would like to see him play for us for one season, then get into the coaching side with Unsy. By the way, Unsy should be our next manager, although I want Ronald Koeman to stay for 10 years+.

Plus he would also be bringing a winner's mentality into the changing room, and this has got to become the biggest change to happen to Everton.

Never go back they say, and especially so if nobody's waiting for you with open arms!

Similarly I'm sure he would accept a huge pay cut to rejoin us and his global and local marketability may temper some of his wage outlay. Therefore it may well be worth taking a punt on him for a season or two if the opportunity presents itself.

I'm sure Rooney feels he has unfinished business here. Also, casting my mind back a few years, I remember Alan Shearer being similarly written off after injuries before Bobby Robson managed to inspire a couple of extra seasons out of him.

As for Rooney assuming United will let him go and we pay no sign on fee but just his salaries at Everton level. Over a two year period he would cost us less than £20 million in transfer fee and salaries. You could not even get an average Championship player for that these days.

Best case Rooney will be highly motivated both from playing for Everton and since it is a World Cup year. Best case he will lift the whole team because he is a fantastic team player at his best. Worst case well worst case we will look back at Ginola being a success compared to old Rooney.

But I would take the risk as it might be easier financially than his current salary would indicate.

Kompany is an accident waiting to happen. On his day? Any sign when that's about to happen?

Toure? Best make sure to get the birthday cakes ordered in case we forget. Oh, and about 𧷤k per week too.

Have you been watching Hart this and the last few seasons? I'd as soon keep Joel.

Rooney. See Toure for wages plus he's just not that bloody good.

Manwaring
Godfrey
Terry
Kompany
Jagielka

Jones
Pike
Walker

Defoe
Fraser
Biblical figure Adam

As for Yaya, well I know it's a no-goer but I can't help but admire his skill and football brain.

Like I said, these guys are winners and we need winners in our team.

I would love to see Rooney and Vardy up front for us next year. Rooney could play just off Vardy, and we would have a much bigger goal threat than we currently have. We could also bring in a young striker – we could probably get all 3 of them for the price that Lukaku would fetch...

It's worth asking if Rooney is still comparable to the Rooney of past years, but it's also worth asking if the real Barkley is the often-dominant player we watched last year or the frequently confused one we have seen this season.

My feeling is that Barks would benefit enormously from having Rooney next to him, and I agree with Paul Thompson that Rooney is worth taking a chance on based purely on his motivation – he will be a seriously driven player.

But I won't be heartbroken if it doesn't happen.

As Dave said earlier, it depends what he would cost if we signed him. If he does indeed come back, he must want to badly because he's going to have to take a big hit on his earning capabilities.

Yes, he is/should be loaded by now, but the potential earnings in China must be very tempting for him.

So... to turn it completely away from Rooney or football, I'm sure there are some here still enjoy a game of snooker.

Remember this?: Link

I don't want to see an over-the-hill Wayne Rooney in a blue shirt, a la Gazza, Ginola, Samson.... I hope he moves to The States and does well.

I reckon we could also tempt Osman out of retirement and a cheeky bid for Darron Gibson or Joleon Lescott – yes the new slogan could be 'back to our future' or (with Terry, Drogba and maybe Lampard) the 'new ex-Chelsea pensioners'.

Imagine the money we could make on all those unwanted Premier League 2 winners like Walsh, Kenny, Pennington, Davies etc...

Rooney's "stats" do seem to have diminished alarmingly but McCarthy hasn't played him much either. So what does his stats tell us? Well dick actually they are meaningless.

Rooney will never score as many goals as Lukaku. Wow what an insight, he would not be playing in Lukaku's position and if Lukaku leaves he would not be signed to replace him he would be a second striker who would be playing behind a main striker. He would be the main outlet for balls out of our defense, the balls that right now bounce off the brilliant Belgian would be controlled and distributed.

If Rooney was on our books right now. He would start tomorrow over Mirallas. Lukaku and Barkley would find that all of a sudden they have that extra yard of space.

Rooney could play for any team in the country. Give me Rooney for his two twilight years and we will win things.

Stones out; Williams in.

Has anything changed?

We need to convince the talented young players to stay, and add to them.

Rooney could be a good squad player, certainly better than half the shit we have (Kone, Valencia, Cleverley) and probably more Premier League ready than Lookman and Calvert-Lewin, but not as a marque signing, and certainly not as a makeweight in any deal to move any of our main players.

I suggest not.

Sentimental, fantasist nonsense to even think about having him back.

He's past it, marginalised, has no identifiable position and struggles to get on the bench these days.

He may have had a part to play in the West End theatre production of Everton 1996-2016, but he has absolutely no place in Everton 2017 and beyond...

I doubt he would do the same though. By all accounts, he wants one last crack at the World Cup.

Also saw him have a great game last May in one of his first outings as a midfielder. Don't remember the opponent.

You asked for ANYTHING. There's three.

Not being sentimental at all. Just think he's worth a punt... IF the price is right. Small risk, potential return.

1. Add some fight and courage to the team in derby matches, I would say.

2. Rooney would be an upgrade on Mirallas and would be a better leader than Jags.

3. Keep Rom and Ross and stick Rooney alongside in a front three with very different attributes

4. Could propel us into the top 4 and perhaps, just perhaps, persuade Rom and Ross to sign new deals.

His free kick away at Stoke wasn't bad!

Rooney would be a real asset on and off the pitch.

It's going to happen and it's worth remembering when he left in 2004, the money saved the club.

He ain't the bad guy most think but the man who sold him... well, that's a different story.

1. Get tremendously fat.

2. Chug around the pitch doing a mediocre impression of himself 5 years ago.

3. Destroy our wage structure.

4. Upset the team spirit and ethic with his 'dubious' living and training standards (very possibly an unfair and unbased criticism but just what I've heard) and block younger, fitter, hungrier players from getting game time.

I honestly don't know what way it would go but my instinct is that for the money he will likely be on we can find a player with more to offer possibly in the short and definitely in the long run...

Yet again, we are doing Man Utd a favour. A few years back they would never sell him to another English club. Because he is past his best, and may not be interested in a move abroad for family reasons, it's now fine.

I've got nothing against Rooney for his move in 2004. His medal cabinet and bank balance will prove it was the right move for him. All the talk about making him our highest paid player (㿞k a week) at the time was bluster – he was the only saleable asset in what was a very poor quality squad at that time and the club was in financial dire straits.

A move back to us in the close season is not in Everton's interests in my opinion. People talking about the financials being right for us are forgetting who his agent is. Only a sentimental Kenwright would think this is a smart move, and for that reason alone I fully expect it to happen.

The only thing in his mind was furthering his own career – I don't necessarily blame him for that but please don't credit him with some altruistic motive in his desertion.

Everton lost out on millions of pounds in merchandising, and sent a message out that 'we sell our young players'. The potential recruitment of fans worldwide can never be estimated, but surely we can say that, for a paltry 㿅m in installments, rather than 'saving' this club, as you ridiculously stated, we missed out on the inestimable value of having one the world's most high profile players, and probably trophies too. In fact, I'd say losing Rooney was the biggest disaster to affect this club since Heysel.

People died at Heysel.

A little perspective, please.

In Mick's defence he refers to Heysel purely from the standpoint of how it affected Everton singularly. I don't believe he meant any disrespect to those who lost their lives.

It can be argued though that the ban arising from the events at Heysel had a hugely detrimental effect on our club and set us back many, many years. I don't think it's disrespectful of Mick to mention it.

Maybe a little more contextual explanation wouldn't have gone amiss though.

And they wonder why everyone is so delighted when their club chins United!

Players nowadays have a better training and diet than they did in the seventies and eighties, look at Defoe, Zlatan – well older than Rooney.

31 is not old in the modern game today, he still has 3 to 4 seasons if not more left in him, as for those saying he has lost some of his pace would you prefer a whippet of a player running like a headless chicken, or a slightly slower pace but footballing brain.

Gibson was not blessed with pace but he had a great footballing brain and played that first-time pass, he read the game well, similar to Rooney.

Forget the has-been, Rooney still has that winning mentality and would bring so much to our team.

No-brainier for me, if we can get him on a free, we should snap the guy up without a shadow of doubt.

I've never been bitter about Rooney, I think that at his peak he was the most naturally gifted English player there has been in the modern era (including Charlton and Gascoigne) and his records are astonishing (assists as well as goals).

But his body shape and lifestyle, and the sheer grind of a 15-year Premier League career at the very top, meant that he was never going to be able to keep it going into his thirties and so it has proved.

I understand the investment and return argument and his football brain remains fine – his legs, though, won't do what they're told.

In return, you would get an instant injection of winning mentality, someone who has got football nouse and guile as well as skill and instinct in the final third. All of which we currently lack.

With the right attacking players around him (most of whom we don't currently have) it could help to lift us to the next level.

It is at least 5 years since Ferguson dropped him and warned him about his lifestyle.

And for those that bother to watch him laboring about the pitch these days he is obviously past it.

We should not be considered a retirement home for Man Utd has-beens.

Well, now I will add my opinion, and whether you want to believe me or not, but this is cast iron.

Rooney is definitely coming back in the summer, and what's more, he will be playing alongside Lukaku. Lukaku will be kicking off next season with Everton, and if we are not in the top four by the January transfer window, then he will be sold.

So now, I wait for all the posts to come flying in: "Yeah, it's all a load of bullshit, who's your source? Lukaku is definitely going in the summer," blah, blah, blah!!!

My source, well obviously I won't reveal who my source is; safe to say it's a very very close relative who works and is based in Old Trafford.

My source has daily contact with a lot of United players, and was speaking to Rooney a couple of weeks back, who said he was returning to Everton in the summer, and had been told of Lukaku's situation.

So, as I said, you can believe me or not, but we shall be seeing Rooney in an Everton shirt next season, and certainly alongside Lukaku for at least half the season.

I await with anticipation, the first post to say what a crock of shit. I'll give it 5 minutes!!!

I hope that's not true about Rooney and Lukaku up front, for the simple reason that Rooney is a ball-playing Number 10 now. He needs movement to play off. Lukaku doesn't provide this – it will be 2 square pegs. That's kind of why his career has dipped so dramatically at Man Utd, because he can't play off Zlatan.

I'd love Rooney back, but playing behind a Vardy type.

I believe you.

You may be right as both of those events are not exactly unlikely, given various bits of media gossip and statements from Koeman himself. Whether it is a truly done deal, however, remains to be seen. I'm not saying it's bullshit but it's just speculation until it's confirmed.

Personally, I never want to see Rooney in an Everton shirt – not because of the manner he left, or his sliding around the Goodison turf clutching the Man Utd badge – just because I think it's a retrograde step given his performances or lack of them for the Mancs over the past few years.

I can't see us being in the top four by next January, can anyone realistically? We are miles off and need quality players at, or reaching, the peak of their careers in at least four or five positions.

Rooney is deffo coming back and Rom has been informed that no one has shown anywhere near serious intent regarding even coming close to our asking price.

None of the big clubs, and I've been saying this for a while now, are desperate to buy him. There are bigger, better and cheaper fish out there and Rom and the club know it.

If he comes, it will be heart ruling over head, I reckon.

I loved Rooney playing for The Toffees but I hope he doesn't come back to Everton, his best days playing football are long gone. If he signs I obviously hope he does the business but will be amazed if he does.

Anyway, we had our own nicknames for Wayne, and if he does come back, I'll return to calling him the Duke (after John Wayne).

Yes they probably would. It's not untypical for coaches and players to get the lowdown on what's going on at a club before they arrive. They don't want to get Walter Smithed upon arrival.

What if we're 5th or 6th at the start of January, Lukaku is begrudgingly let go and we then win our next two games to suddenly go 4th with a week of the transfer window still left to run? Ron will be fucking fuming.

What if we fluctuate between 4th and 5th throughout the entire month of January, resulting in Rom constantly moaning about not knowing whether he's coming or going and getting on Rooney's tits so much he scraps his New Years resolution to ditch the tabs, before almost getting caught having a sly toot out the window of one of the empty rooms in the east-wing, clambering out onto the ledge to evade capture and being spotted by a concerned passer-by who mistakes the Everton mans cat-like escape for a 'cry for help' suicide attempt and immediately calls the emergency services... after first texting Jim White and shouting something supportive like "JESUS CHRIST! IT'S NOT WORTH IT WAYNE. THERE'S LIFE AFTER LUKAKU, LAD!!"? Coleen will be fucking fuming.

What about if we are 5th in January, Rom leaves to join Man Utd in 4th? But we win the Europa League, and Spurs in 5th place win the Champions League and nick Man Utd's spot? Will we have to take him back?

Signing both would be a good step. But would probably be the end of Barkley. I couldn't see why Koeman kept him on against Chelsea, he was stinking. His passing was way off the standard required.

Steve, why not call him "Marion" – John Wayne's real name?

It's all a bit too "my mate's mum works for someone who cuts a player's dog's toenails" for me. But rather than argue we'll wait and see.

Having said that,I do think Lukaku will be here next season and have done since Koeman mentioned about respecting his contract, backed up by the fact that nobody will pay 𧴜m for him.

Sadly, though, I believe all the football he has played is also starting to take it's toll. Injuries and loss of pace is a killer in the Premier League. Does anyone think he will be able to keep up with those lean speed machines at Chelsea, Spurs or even Liverpool? The top teams are full of players who possess limitless energy and eye-watering pace. We looked like a team of old men against Chelsea, why add another to the ranks?

The argument can certainly be made that he's better than the current options we have at our disposal. But that doesn't mean we are unable to find an upgrade on Rooney either for the massive wage he would command.

One question I would ask everyone on this thread: Will any of the other teams above us be in for his services? No chance. I don't like players coming back to the club because it suits them, it should be on our terms.

I also think many people remember Rooney in his prime, and not the player who cannot get into a poor England side and is surplus to requirements at Man Utd, who can't even break into the top 4.

My two main concerns about Rooney are his injury record and the amount we will be paying in wages. I also hope his presence around the club is not a distraction especially if he manages to get back into the England squad with the national tabloids looking for the slightest excuse to print anything negative.

The return of Wayne Rooney will not, in my opinion, result in us achieving a spot in the top four and would be a backward step. If it does happen, I will start having serious doubts about Messrs Koeman, Walsh and Moshiri.*

In the summer I am really hoping we will sign players that are about to reach, or have just reached their peak as footballers.

* I am starting to have flashbacks to the end of Martinez's first season and what followed. I hope I am just having a wobble and that my previous optimism was well founded.

Really hope you're right about Rom cos we need him and I've got money on him playing for us next season.

Yes, he has the option to go to China or maybe the US but he's got kids and a wife from Liverpool and he is already a multi millionaire so he doesn't need the money. So I can imagine for family reasons he knows they would be a lot happier living around the North West near all their friends and family bringing up their kids.

What's the point in having millions if you can't live the life you want to live? Wayne probably sees himself happy playing out his final years with Everton and isn't too worried about the wages at this stage. Maybe he wants to become a coach like Rhino or Ferguson and he wants his kids to play for Everton.

It all sounds a lot more pleasant than moving his young family to a foreign country or to another club that he has no affiliation with.

For Man Utd they are happy to let him go on a freebie as he's costing them HUGE wages every week and not getting the return they want. For Everton though, this is the big dilemma. Some will argue he burnt his bridges with the fans and he's not up to it any more.

Koeman and Walsh certainly seemed interested when this move was first mentioned which certainly made me sit up and wonder why. Both know players a lot better than me or you, I'd say, and so they obviously feel he still has something to give. Maybe we only give him a year by year contract or the wages aren't such a big issue but surely having a player like Rooney at your disposal is better than not having him.

Of course he doesn't have the pace he once had or the explosiveness but if he's been offered for free and we can afford his wages then it's not really a tough decision.

I don't buy in to this "but he'll be taking someone else's place and prevent the younger guys from breaking through." If anything he will improve the younger lads and inspire them to raise their game and he will teach them what is needed to make that next step.

We've had similar situations in the past where players like Gazza, Ginola and Eto'o all came to us in the latter years and done a job for us. It doesn't mean we still can't sign big-name players for 㿞M and let Rooney play alongside them.

Eto'o wasn't too bad a signing and got us plenty of publicity.

Gazza got us publicity and had a great game versus Exeter City in the FA Cup, didn't do anything else.

Ginola, I remember him coming and then going... I can't remember anything in-between.

Gazza had flashes here and there, but knowing how great he was, it was painful watching him.

Eto'o? I don't know. Again, flashes were there, but his pace had gone. Something serious happened off the pitch that ultimately stopped him giving his all.

What about the other retirement signings? Whiteside? Blomqvist? Gough? Barry? Who else have we signed well into their 30s with their careers on the skids?

Barry was great as we all know. Gough was outstanding for a year, even alongside Watson, in the oldest partnership ever. Whiteside was younger than 30 but he was clearly finished by injury and a terrible gamble. Blomqvist was simply dreadful.

Good post, I think. This is NOT the Rooney of a few years ago. Jesse bloody Lingard is preferred to him at Man Utd.

It would create a buzz and a little nostalgia and sure he's still got a good football brain but by all accounts he has not treated his body well and it is showing. He will have some decent games, perhaps score a free-kick or two but he will give away needless free kicks (like the one that Swansea equalised from) because he is frustrated and will struggle to keep up.

The exciting teams in Europe right now are the likes of Spurs, Monaco and Dortmund – filled with technically gifted athletes able to press and move all day long. Rooney would be a step back from that.

If he comes then I will welcome him as I do all blue players but the wages that he will get would be far better spent bringing in the 'next' Wayne Rooney rather than the 'spent' one.

As others have commented it does smack of the last two years of Walter and the desperate signings of Gascoigne and Ginola. The excitement lasts about one match and then it dawns on people how much they have fallen below the standard they once reached.

I would much prefer to build a young team with players like Tom Davies who have energy, skill and something to prove. Some fans are keen to see the back of Baines, Jags, Williams and Barry; individuals who are the wrong side of 30 and will need to be replaced in the next year with international class players. Bringing Rooney back adds to the age imbalance in a squad which needs more – not less – youthful energy.

Bobby had actually just turned 31 but I take your point. He brought Leeds up from the old Divison Two and got them to a Cup Final.

Sounds like your confident Lukaku is staying. Looks like Koeman has convinced him to be part of the project. Just need a Number 10 who will get double figures in goals and can create opportunities for other players to go with Roms goals.

Bolasie back within a couple of months of the season starting, hopefully a left-sided, forward-thinking player with pace, and we're in business. We are covered for defensive midfielders with Davies's development into a box-to-box midfielder coming on in leaps and bounds.

Two centre-halves and a keeper, the continuation of the youth that Koeman and Unsie are showing, and that's us 👍.

In other news: the Illuminati plan to implant us all with ID chips at the behest of the beast of Revelation, you can't get rid of the Babadook and Mama Cass choked to death on a ham & pickle bap.

As recently as four days ago, even Rooney himself was only brave enough to predict being able to turn out for another "two to three years". How the hell do you arrive at five, minimum?

Okay, you can point to his age and say "he's only 31", but you only have to factor in the 15 years of top flight football he's already got on the clock, the lifelong battle to keep the chunk off, the long-rumoured liking for a tab/tilt combo, the complete loss of pace and the continually diminishing effectiveness of his displays, to cast doubt on the likelihood of him hanging on in there for a couple years more, never mind the next half-decade "at least".

Link

Collins played well for Leeds for several seasons until his leg was shattered in a European match. Hard little bastard and a great player with a point to prove, aggrieved with the way he was treated by Everton.

Having said that, none of this has bugger all to do with Rooney and his circumstances, unless he also has a point to prove.

Now that was one player with a very old body, knees and liver by all accounts!

But he did a job for a while.

Bobby Collins was a great professional who looked after himself who prided himself on being fit and gave everything in every game he played. He was an exception to the rule, he even came back from that terrible injury with Leeds, playing for Morton in Scotland at a tidy age.

And there is of course, no such thing as VeriChip, never was, and no-one has ever been implanted with them over the last decade, and the masses of information easily found online is obviously all fake.

VeriChip is one of several that don't exist.

'And there is of course, no such thing as VeriChip, never was, and no-one has ever been implanted with them over the last decade, and the masses of information easily found online is obviously all fake.'

... and, of course, there is not a second half to the statement you selected that deliberately serves to hoist it from the realms of plausible to completely fucking bat-shit potty.

I wouldn't mind if Rob Halligan's hunch came true, as I am sure Rooney would contribute in a larger squad with Europa League games added to the burden.

Maybe I'm tired but you've lost me there... are you saying it's real or potty? Two lots of possible sarcasm have double-confused me/the issue.

I'll try again.

My full (admittedly mocking) statement was "the illuminati plan to implant us all with ID chips at the behest of the beast of Revelation".

You then chose to quote only the first part and alluded to the existence of 'Positive ID', when the OTT ludicrousness of the statement primarily resides in the second part.

The bat-shit crazy bit isn't (1) the mere suggestion of micro-chips being implanted under human skin, but rather (2) the conspiracy against Christianity shite sometimes spouted about how such chips constitute the biblical 'mark of the beast' and are a significant part of the Antichrists cunning master plan.

It's like you posting this:

-----------------------------------
Will Mabon: 
Posted: one week day, at some time or other:

"Man survives being swallowed whole by a whale"

'Yeah, because that James Bartley bloke wasn't discovered alive in the body of a sperm whale suffering from a seriously bunged up arse way back in 1890, was he? That wouldn't be possible at all, would it? Nobody could ever survive that. Why, it would be absolutely ludicrous to suggest otherwise'

-----------------------------------

Then sitting back and slowly puffing on a stogie, when the complete sentence you chose to prune was actually:

"Man survives being swallowed whole by a whale after Pinnochio and Gepetto generously give him a push and provide pretty graphic directions on how to get straight through the gastrointestinal tract"

Hope that helps.

He might... but, despite Mr Halligan's contacts, Lukaku won't be here. Many TWers might not rate him but you can be sure top teams in the Premier League and wider European top teams in the Champions League most certainly do.

Golden Boot (to boot) and he has made it obvious he wants to leave – he will have a choice of top teams, you can be sure, and good luck to him. I don't like his attitude towards EFC but he is not a "blue" in the way Ross is a "blue", whereas Mr Rooney is a "blue" and may well return to his roots.

For what it is worth, despite my support for Rooney's success since he left us, it is a major "No" from me. He is no longer a force and to make the next step up, we need to look for a Mata rather than a Rooney from Man Utd.

That is something we do not know because Lukaku plays every week. My feeling has never changed – if silly money was offered, I would take it all day long and rebuild. We do not need to sell, of course, but for me I would go flat out looking for a centre-forward who can be a team player, who gets goals, and who wants to play for Everton.

No, I am not a Lukaku fan, the disrespect over the time he has been here towards Everton and him wanting away is wearing thin.

Unless we are in the top 4 before August 31, it will all start again, I would sooner rebuild early doors in July rather than it going tits-up 3 weeks into the new season.

I would bring Rooney back and link him up with a new striker.

What will Rooney bring to the table next season for us? Very little, I would suggest.Go for tomorrow's players, not the has-beens.

Won't happens in a million years but if somehow we got Butland, Koulibaly, Tielemans, Siggurdsson and Dolberg then I'd be getting seriously excited. Sadly that's about £150m worth of talent so I won't hold my breath...

Just seen the stories about Dolberg. I'd like to us sign him as our 2nd striker or as Rom's replacement.

I think we will be signing Wayne Rooney. I'd also like us to sign Defoe who'll be out of contract. That way, even if takes a while for a young striker like Dolberg to adapt to the Premier League, we'll have to proven strikers who will score goals.

All very esoteric. Looked to me like a simple dig at the idea of ID chips... which is certainly much more than plausible.

Wait till everyone cottons on to what smart meters are really for.

As for Rooney, get him signed. He may not have the pace but with his footballing brain he wouldn't be trying to beat the same guy four times before he has the ball robbed off his foot.

15 years of top flight football has had its toll on him and I think a move to the States would be a great retirement stint.

We don't know. ;-)

I guarantee none of the top 6 will bid for him.

We are going nowhere if we sign over-the-hill players, they have no ambition, no fight, no stamina... in fact, nothing to offer.

Build a fast, skillful young team and take the league by storm. Scour Europe for the top young talent and watch them go.

Agree with him 100%.

I did read a classic quote from him talking about Sunderland ref: Moyes sucking the life out of the club.

"Defeatism spreads like a rash through football clubs, especially when it comes from the man paid handsomely to bring victories."

That could have also applied to his time at Everton.

I would also question how fit Rooney is but, he hasn't played much football recently. I was listening to Gary Neville discussing him. He basically said from previous experience at Man Utd together. Wayne is the sort of player that needs to be playing regularly and takes a run of games to get fully fit.

I still believe he could have something to offer if we can get him fully fit and playing regularly. The question for me is, where would he play?

Factor in the Judas, Man Utd badge-kissing antics and I wouldn't take him back on principal – no matter how good or bad he may be. I despair of some Evertonians, I really do.

Stay away.

That's not to say he still doesn't have an eye for goal but despite still having the smarts I suspect he is not happy playing in the middle of the park and he is also looking a little slower maybe the result of several injuries over the last few seasons.

In any event I don't see him fitting in back at Everton especially now they have the money to go after younger, hungrier players.

Given this, why the fuck do so many want him back?

The lads look like they're on the beach at the moment. I'd take an over-the-hill Rooney over Valencia or Kone. I'd sell Ross why we can still command a decent fee for him. He's nowhere near as good as we want him to be or that we need him to be if we have aspirations of being a consistent top 6 side.

We have got to get rid of a goal hanger that Rom is, then we will see goals coming from the team rather than one.

Kenwright is probably weeping as he had the script written I'm sure for the return of the prodigal son!

Funny how different journalists spin the same comments. Sky have Rooney staying at Man Utd. The Guardian have him leaving.

The Guardian had a longer quote where he said he's doing what he can at Man Utd but he wants to play football so will consider his options. Then when asked "would you like to play football at Man Utd?" He said "of course."

Sky only reported that last bit and not the prior comments that made it sound like he's ready to leave Man Utd. The truth? Who knows.

Could have closed the thread after that post. We have been the nicey nicey shithouses for too long. Last niggly bastard we had was Cahill.

It's interesting reading the comments, because a lot seems to want to paint this transfer as our marquis signing, far from it, if he comes he will be one of a few signings (hopefully).

He will be invaluable in the dressing room and around the youngsters also his experience in Europe has to be a plus.

Just keep him away from the tabs and the grannies and we could have a good couple of seasons from him and then let him have his final payday going to China or the USA.

A squad player for a season in Europe; I see no down side

We keep saying Rooney is all about what we do off the pitch rather than on it. Imagine the commercial possibilities, alongside a new stadium, Wayne and his media-savvy missus. It doesn't matter if he is 16 stone, can't run, hit a pass, play at Number 9, or 10, 74 or wherever.

Take your Blue-tinted specs off, he's Wayne-fucking-Rooney and that will open more doors than it closes. Whether you like him or loathe him, if he comes back, he is our David Beckham.

We need quality players and numbers on the pitch. It doesn't matter what level of marketability Rooney has if he's not doing it on the pitch.

There's more likelihood of Dele Alli being on the cover of FIFA18 than Rooney.

No, if he comes back, IMO it will be about far more than just footballing reasons. In reality, I don't believe we would make the transfer if he couldn't play, or at least fit in somewhere, if only from the bench.

The lad can still clearly play; the discussion here is usually about his standard and where he would fit in the team. My argument is, he'll be made to fit somewhere if the commercial opportunity is deemed great enough – plus, like Carl says, we can still sell him on to a Chinese team, because he is Wayne Rooney.

The Mancs loved Wayne's goals and commitment. He's their record goal scorer and has won everything under the sun with them but, at the end of the day he's still a scummy (in their eyes) Scouser.

I don't think he'll become another Charlton, sitting in the stands like some Mancunian deity, there'll be no red carpet treatment for him like when Beckham returns, no banners or chanting of his name etc . In fact I don't think either party will miss each other once he leaves for good. Sad in a way.

He chose to go there, or the odious Stretford did, but it was only ever an arranged marriage so to speak. No question of a love match, I suspect, especially after him looking to join City a few years ago, presumably with Stretford's collusion.

Neville is no lover of Scousers in any case.

Today he looked really out of sorts. Chasing shadows and looking really frustrated. It looked a cert, a few weeks ago, that he'd be coming home but now I'm not sure if there's anything left in the tank.

Ferguson never took to him because he didn't bend the knee and most of the gobby Manc fans are fuckwits who get their football from Sunday Supplement or the like. The real United fans I know are very appreciative of what they enjoyed with Rooney at his peak, and so they should be.

Neville is right because Rooney is a difficult character in his way and he doesn't fit a mould, but I agree with Robbie Savage (God help us) that this is a player whose talent and achievements will be properly recognised only once he has retired and time has passed.

What was written on the walls of Goodison when he left?

'You could have been a hero but chose to join the devil'

Something like that I think.

Nope.

Matter closed.