Everton lodge bid for Witsel

Muller, Witzel, Greezman, De Gaye and Pogba.

Looking good :-)

Just call them rumourmongers for short.

However I would love to believe this one even though I feel Chelsea may steal him.

Many years ago when we played Standard Liege I thought he looked ok. Since then he has gone on to be ok in the Russian League. Would rather we kept our powder dry for someone who can actually improve us in our weakest areas. Juan Mata for one.

Seems Koeman is going for players in their prime. This is good, as it shows he is actually gonna go for it. Too often 'potential' is bought and then used as a justification for 'patience'.

But, would like to see a couple of high quality 20/21 year olds brought in too.

Watford turned town 38 million for ighalo. 30 can't even get you Troy deeney. And gayle went to Newcastle for 10 million. Prices are crazy, but that is how it is.

I think we need to be careful not to run before we can walk here. Yes, we have investment at long last but to listen to some of our supporters we have suddenly turned into Chelsea or Man City.

I have complete trust in Koeman and whoever he buys. Just let's see where we go.

If we we're signing Mata and Fellaini (who I still think is good) I would be made up. Anyway good to be linked with spending £30m on a player!!!

Cant get a picture of this in my head.

That would allow Barkley to use his instinctive attacking drive and goalscoring talent without having to think, which he has proven incapable of doing.

Don't know why it's so hard to let go of the notion that he's a #10, but he isn't and never will be. Collymore and the coaches he quotes are absolutely right... genius talent, no footballing brain.

This guy is ok, but do we really need him when we have Besic, Barry and McCarthy all doing the same thing?

He might be better than those three but not 30 million pounds better.

Rob@32 I'm curious why you're upset about Townsend given you think we have enough fancy dans? Surely that's exactly what he is....

Are we
?63;30 mill desperate to get this guy or is it a case of "but he's available"?

There's a contingent on this board that would complain if we won the Champions league 10-0 in the final against Barcelona.

Difficult to comment on transfer rumours and actual deals. RK has a clear picture of what he wants and how he'll configure the team. We'll see whether he was right or wrong in a season or maybe two.

I for one hope that the club looks for value in its buys and uses the massive value that it has locked up in our younger players like Davies.

I would really love to see Mata at Everton if the price was right

This is exactly the type of thinking that results in stagnation and regression.

Sell McCarthy, Besic and Cleverley as well while we're at it. Don't want any of these to be first teamers and they're too expensive to be squad players.

Let the clear out continue.

If we get Witsel it will be based on his form over last few seasons and not just weeks.

Well done Wales!

Every time I see a "marquee" player linked for insane money, I shudder in fear. I like the Stekelenburg deal. Cheap and purposeful, could be a shrewd deal. I don't mind us signing cheap "underwhelming" players as long as they make our team better.

Hype is nothing. Fight is everything as shown by Wales and Iceland. AND Leicester.

Spend the money on a couple of decent striking alternatives, a proper goalkeeper or a good left-sided creative midfielder. Let the RS have him and move on.

I can remember when Standard Liege came to town in the late 2000's in the Europa and most, if not all Evertonians wanted the likes of Witsel, Defour & Mbokani! Yet cos he plays in Russia and hasn't played in a big league or had a good Euros everyone has changed their minds...

The lad on his day is a really good player and an improvement on anything we have in CM! He's a box to box midfielder that will get stuck in and get forward and chip in with goals, but can play and were crying out for that type of midfielder imo and I hope there's some truth to all this and we can sign him. Personally I think he'd be a great addition.

Ronald should buy the Polish No 10 that plays for Sevilla, a powerhouse of a midfielder.

Come on, Mr Moishiri, get your cheque book out and quick!

Having thought about it would you say De Bruyne isn't worth his price? or Hazard?

I want Champions League and trophies for Everton, not mid table. Witzel is a start. We (Everton) are now in a different place in the Premier League era. There may be hits and misses. But good times are here.

Let's all stop the pessimism....we will be at the top table soon enough

I just think the money could be spent better. Like on attack-minded players.

We have enough holding midfielders, unless we sell a few.

The one Belgian I would sign would be Carrasco.

A workhorse with quality!

"I cannot believe the moaning naysayers on this site when a player of Witsels class, just "may" have a chance to come to Everton."

I am a naysayer and if I wasn't clear I am suggesting that maybe Witsel isn't actually all that class. Certainly I hoped 30 million bought more class than him.

"Wow, standards are high here when people aren't happy with Witsel! He's a high profile player who is very well thought of around Europe."

Can you cite anything to suggest he is well thought of around Europe other than the fact he plays for Belgium? I've watched a few games of his at Zenit and personally don't see anything special about him, competent enough as he is. Where are people saying he is anything but competent?

"There seems to be a contingent on this board who appear to be unhappy with any player we are linked with. Apparently no player is good enough for Everton."

Ah ok, not me then. I am just saying that Witsel is probably not good enough for Everton. I'd take Pelle at the reported 7 million in a heartbeat.

Both midfielders have to bable to break play up and get up the field to the help the team unit pressure in the opponents defensive third. GB is not that kind of player

Were I'm not so impressed is a midfield say of JM & AW lacks goals, neither player has a great record of breaking beyond the play and scoring. That is not to say neither aren't capable, it would just take a huge mindset change to get 5 goals from each!

I think every player RK buys needs to be goal threat even the CB! I almost understood why RM wasn't fond of corners, who was gonna score from them?

Witsel is worth it for the publicity and sginals we are trying to send to other players out there, okay not totally worth the price tag but thats part of thinking big!

Value for money went out the door the day we got Moshiri, and hurrah for that!

Add him to Besic, McCarthy, Barry, Gibson or Cleverly and add Sniederlan and you have 7 centre midfielders with barely a goal between them.

I personally like the look of Wijaldum, he's full of energy and scores goals, he reminds me of Tim Cahill.

Mata is an interesting link, but he is neither a wide player or quick, and IMO we need to add a quick left winger to our ranks, Mata is best suited to Barkley's roll.

It will be interesting to see who we actually sign, as its starting to look like players want to join our league even if the teams they are signing for are not in the Champions league.

Id like us to sign a couple of top quality young players, preferably ready to make an instant impact, in the way Lukaku has.

Wijaldum of Newcastle is 25, Milik and Jansen from the Dutch league are in the right age bracket, and Forester and Van Dike are also in the same age bracket.

Januzi may be worth a punt, he's got bags of talent but seems to have gone stale at united. Mitravic of Newcastle is also a prospect, not a first team starter, but he could certainly be something worth hanging onto for the future.

If the current players linked with us are genuine links then I don't feel we have sell on value in them. Mata, Snieder, Nani, Scott Dann are all at an age were we will pay out more than we will ever receive back. That's not the ideal scenario, we have to box clever with our new found funds as we don't know how long they will last.

Not quite sure what people are expecting from players. Do people on here think that Pogba is better because of the occasional outside of boot pass he sprays around? Witsel would be a shrewd signing to take our midfield up a level. Massive step up from Mcarthy and a better all round player than Barry.

Whether £30m is over the odds or not is neither here nor there. It's not coming out of my bank account so why bother my arse worrying about whether the club pay a premium to snare a certain player or pull it off by simply scrabbling around the back of the settee for spare slummy?

"Having only played in Belgium, Portugal and Russia, the Belgian midfield destroyer might not have been tested in any of the top leagues in Europe just yet. Even still, his quality is virtually beyond questioning. It's no exaggeration to say that Standard Liège, Benfica and Zenit St. Petersburg have each built their midfields around the player.

Like Spurs' Mousa Dembélé and Eric Dier, Witsel is talented at virtually every angle of midfield. His tackling veers toward the sublime, his passing is calm and deliberate and he even finds a way to press forward when his team has possession.

That's just the kind of dogged, endlessly relentless midfielder that Premier League typically fawn over. That they haven't made a move for Witsel sooner is less a testament to any lack of interest and more an indication of just how reluctant his clubs have been to part with him. Zenit only acquired Witsel after handing over the equivalent of £32 million to Benfica in 2012, and they purportedly pay him a salary well in excess of the typical Russian Premier League player. English clubs know that it would take even more for Zenit to agree to part with the player just as he is reaching the peak of his abilities.

Spurs and other clubs' interest is piquing now mostly because Witsel's contract with the reigning Russian champions is due to expire by the end of next season. Zenit could attempt to offer the player another contract, of course, but the allure of English Premier League ball might be too much for the 27-year-old."

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"One French columnist referred to him as Belgium's Swiss Army Knife. What was meant was that, in a team of many virtuosos, Axel Witsel is all-purpose, a player with tools to solve every problem. His tackles have a sharp cutting edge, too, so sharp they have on occasion put him in trouble.

According to his head coach, Marc Wilmots, Witsel is pretty much the first name on Belgium's teamsheet, straight in at the centre of midfield while the outlying roles are filled with famous names, backed up by equally famous ones on the bench. Eden Hazard is Belgium's captain, in the absence of the injured Vincent Kompany. Witsel is Belgium's general, with extra stripes and epaulettes on his shoulders when Kompany is unable to provide his instinctive leadership.

Yet, while Witsel's metronomic consistency and care in possession is valued by Wilmots, he divides opinion among pundits and public.

At Euro 2016, where Belgium have soared in two matches – against Hungary and Republic of Ireland – and looked rather less than the sum of their parts in their two others, against Italy and Sweden, Witsel has maintained high standards. The data-collectors who monitor distribution have him clocking in with a 92 per cent accuracy for his passing. The doubters sneer that too many of those passes go sideways, or behind him, and that he slows the play down.

His champions would argue that this a Belgium who need the pause and certainty of a strong anchor man. To Wilmots, “Axel makes the others play better."

If his partner in the centre of midfield is Radja Nainggolan, you notice the Roma man's pugnacity but it needs to be offset by Witsel's positional discipline; if Marouane Fellaini is with him, there is aggression, certainly, and extra height. But Witsel can match Fellaini for most things. Against Ireland, he offered a reminder that if a well-timed leap to meet a cross is required, Witsel can glide into the sorts of places Fellaini vaults into. He measured his run to meet the cross of Thomas Meunier perfectly for Belgium's second goal of the three that afternoon.

Witsel, named man of the match against the Irish, the victory that launched Belgium's championship after they had lost to Italy, had started the move that led to that goal. He had done so with a square pass, his critics might note.

Witsel has had to live with the opprobrium of some of his compatriots for a while. Partly, it's a hangover from a mistake he made when he was a 20-year-old, emerging player in his own domestic league.

He broke the leg of an opponent, Marcin Wasilewski, with a stamp to Wasilweski's ankle during a match between Witsel's Standard Liege and Anderlecht. His initial ban, later reduced, was for almost three months.

The notoriety may have taken longer to fade because Witsel's club career, has not, unlike Fellaini's or Hazard's, or most of the Belgium squad's, taken him to one of the leagues where the highs of his more mature years are watched, live or via highlights, widely in his native country. His performances each weekend for Zenit Saint Petersburg are appreciated in Russia; in Belgium he is less visible.

Yet in many ways, Witsel, 27, has been a pathfinder for his country's so-called “Golden Generation". He won his first senior cap at 19, scoring on his international debut. In the same summer, 2012, that Hazard moved from Lille to Chelsea for close to €40 million (Dh162.3m), Witsel joined Zenit for a marginally higher fee, from Benfica.

There is growing interest, including from Chelsea, in bringing his authoritative midfield play to the Premier League where so many of his gifted compatriots earn their living."

Hal Robson-Kanu, wonderful opportunity of a lifetime. Released by Reading ffs? I don't think for a minute we should rush out and offer him a contract, but if we or any other club did, then best of luck to him, he's earned it!

Alex Witsel is a quality player, so is Rom. But they need managing correctly. Gareth Bale has the potential to be a bling bling prick but he is not. Coleman has him playing for the team and his ego is no issue. That is the only real challenge for RK.

Other clubs such as Manure, especially under Mourihno I suspect have a completely different management and socio - business model. I just hope it doesn't work for them because to me it stinks.

At the risk of generalising, a Belgian who lets his daddy do his talking wouldn't be high up on my list.

Didn't he win Man Of The Match against Ireland? How did he manage that by playing "rubbish"?

"So, who we going to give Man Of The Match award to, Mikel?"

"Tough decision, Dave. They've all played absolutely pish so I guess i'm just going to have to plump for that Witsel fella. Don't get me wrong, he's been absolute pish as well. Really, really rubbish. Probably the worst of them in fact, buuuut there was that one brief moment during the game where he put his hands together six times in quick succession and...with the rhythmic blurring of red and yellow and Foxy Brown hair....he looked the fucking spit of Jermaine Jackson giving it gormless backing claps during his brother's 'Rockin' Robin' routine: 

Link

"Highlight of my tournament so far, Mikel. A very talented man Jermaine Jackson. Worth £30m of anyone's money all day long."

"Absolutely. At least Jermaine Jackson made an appearance at the Euro's, Dave. More than Juan Mata managed."

That said he does also mention that Everton's interest is 'concrete' so it might be a goer, who knows. Exciting to be linked with names like Witsel's, Kovavic and Mata though!

Ross McCormack isn't available for £11.5m.

Troy Deeney will cost more than £30m.

Burnley turned down £11m for Michael Keane.

Very few clubs need to sell, and no-one, especially in England, wants to sell their best players.

This makes it even more infuriating when our own fans seem too happy to flog off our own players, as the replacements are not as cheap and available as most people seem to assume.

To be honest, if we only added those two I'd be quite happy, as the rest of the team would improve significantly.

I don't know enough about Witsel, because the Russian league isn't in the media a lot. But what I do know is that we are paying 6 million a year to someone who knows better than any of us. And he picked up players like Pelle, Tadic etc in his first season at Soton.

Lukaku was crap as well and we want £65 million for him. All clubs overprice their players these days. Just have to accept it and pay up.

We need a game-changer – someone who can turn it around when struggling. I'm not saying Witsel is poor – he may well be a good player – but if that's the going rate for that standard, what's it going to cost for someone who IS or thinks he is a bit special?

I wouldn't mind if it takes big Ron a season to have a good look at what we already have and need before he starts spending the BIG money.

Either you sit back and trust him or you don't.

Ron has done his head scratching, the light bulb is on and he is working towards what will be his team. Not your ideas, not mine, but his.

That's why he is paid six million per annum and why we're producing hot air down the ale house, scratching our bollocks and eying the totty.

We have to trust his judgement. Our opinions are .... just our opinions. Valid, worth airing - but pretty meaningless to Ron's brilliant and all conquering strategy.

Relax, put your feet up and enjoy the ride.

Is that the place where potential signings are assessed using the 'Amokachi "Fuck it, let's 'ave 'im" formula'?

Kovacic for that price sounds a better deal, or Dembele off Spurs.

On the Wales/Belgium match, you'd pay £30 mill for 'Cruyff' Robson-Kanu and the same for 'Bertie' Vokes, but sixpence for Witsel and Lukaku.
Witsel has been talked about as a top-class player for several years now. Zenit, who've done pretty well of late, have essentially built their team around him. He'll do for me. As to the price, well, that's the way the world is these days!

Incidentally, in the endless quest for commanding, 'Leader on the pitch' no-nonsense centre-backs, surely the name Ashley Williams has to go to the top of the list.

He would be very good, a midfielder who can drive the ball forward, which is what we lack massively. He would compliment McCarthy & Besic with Barry a very able deputy.

Would be a great start!

If some of the rumours gathering pace are true, then Witsel and Mata could be the first big players in.

Butland/Cillesen/Forster
Coleman Jagielka Funes Mori Baines
Witsel McCarthy/Davies
Deulofeu Barkley Mata
Lukaku

Wouldn't say no to that! Good mix of experience and youth with pace, guile and power present blended in.

http://www.italyguides.it/images/campania/napoli/head_home_1.en-GB.jpg

Know where I'd sooner be.

Bringing on Fellaini was a big mistake by Wilmots and I am glad Everton moved him out. Lukaku missed a much easier header than Vokes scored on which should have seen Wales off.

Things may start to develop now that the Euros are over for Lukaku.

He may sign the cheques and put some money forward but I'd be surprised if it was his own money.

Mirallas Senior must be next?

Robles;
Coleman, Jagielka, Funes Mori, Baines; Barry/Gibson, McCarthy/Davies;
Deulofeu, Barkley;
Kone, Lennon/McGeady...

I wouldnt be surprised at our starting eleven come August, and if I'm right, God help us. With Kenwright and his cronies and loan deals still here, nothing will change.

We are used to over the hill players or good players but not quite good enough and the moment we are linked with big money moves people still whinge and moan about waste of money, not good enough and so on.

Fact is this club needs statements in the transfer markets, you're vision of the dream signing isn't obtainable because our club needs to do a hell of a lot of work to rebuild its reputation, it's pride and it competitive reputation. It also needs to encourage the fans to buy back into the club in a way that we know we can compete again. These types of signings are needed and for me hugely encouraging.

So, just like Man City and Chelsea did, we are going to pay big wages and fees that make your eyes water on what I would say are B+ players who will improve our competitive edge before the A-grade players would even consider us.

I don't think he was to blame for the poor showing v Wales. He was outnumbered, had to protect an awful back four, and came up against oppo who were really at it on the night.

We have got to trust the manager will get the right players that will make us a aide to reckoned with.

On another subject the director of football search has gone fairly quiet since Koeman arrived for whatever reason.

If they get him, then so be it. We'll go for someone else of high quality, because now we can.

Could it be that the rs have to prove themselves still a big team by associating themselves with our targets and trying to keep us in our place?

I'm loving this. I'd love us to blow them out the water in the transfer market just to see the reaction! Ha ha!

Substitute the words Niasse/Martinez for Witsel/Koeman and comments such as "who cares how much we pay, it ain't my money / we rich anyway" and "he is paid the big bucks, played for better teams than we did so I will trust his opinion absolutely and there is no point debating it" just seem rather silly.

Despite everything I post ever, I am a bit optimistic about the season to come. But I've also supported Everton through some god awful years and this has bred just a touch of healthy cynicism.

The manager is not infallible and the money-pit is not bottomless. It is perfectly rational to pose the question is Witsel the best us of 30 million quid when even his fans think he is a McCarthy v2.0.

I cannot imagine anytime it would be worth paying 60-70m for one single player. Just imagine spending that and the guy suffers a bad injury! The likes of Barca, Madrid and Manu may do that but I hope we're never that foolish.

I'd much rather we signed a few Mahrez's, Payets and Wijnaldems than spunk all our cash on one player. Also Leicester and Wales show the all time footy law - it's the team that matters.

Footballs already crazy enough.

@Denis154
We are only impressed with Mahrez, Payet etc because they had good seasons with their clubs. Before that they were unknown quantities and could just as easily turned out to be duds. If Niasse had turned out to be the next Payet RM would still be managing Everton.

It amazes me that now that we have finally got money to spend there is resistance to spending it on quality players. Not every player is going to be a bargain price unknown gem just waiting to be discovered. If we want to compete at the top then that means going after the same players that the "rich" clubs chase.

£100 million, if that is how much we have to spend on players, won't last forever, certain teams have been spending close to this amount every season nearly but don't do much better for it.

If we had £100 million every season then Mata for £25 million maybe. But only because we can't attract younger high-quality players yet.

I think it's always better to have resale value in case things don't work out. We have a one-off £100 million to spend not endless pots. Let's not hang around but still let's be careful.

I see no point in buying players at all if all you can think about is how much you can sell them for a couple of years later later. Koeman is trying to build a side here not just provide a stop over for players on their way to a richer club. I would also point out that should some overpriced youngster turn out to be a flop you won't get the money you paid for him anyway.

I know the wheels of the transfer merry-go-round have to be 'oiled' occasionally but Everton seems particularly attracted to these machinations !

Not sure I'd want to be paying that much for Witsel. Anyone know why he only spent one season at Benfica?

'He's not worth blah' etc.

Who gives a shit – if Koeman wants a player and Moshiri says he'll pay the price, deal done.

I couldn't give a shite what players cost, not going to cost me a carrot.

'I'm not sure I'd want to pay that much' – PFFT!! That kind of thinking is a bit of a mingebag giveaway if you ask me (a guide to TWers who'd need a firm nudge in the ribs to get the ale in).

'An intermediary reveals Axel Witsel is “further away” from Napoli, and is in talks with Everton.

The Zenit St Petersburg midfielder had been in talks with both clubs, but it appears the lure of Premier League money may be crucial in his decision.

“Axel is currently further away from Napoli” an intermediary for the deal, Francesco Marseglia, said on Radio Crc.

“The offer wasn't really given a lot of consideration. Everton might even go above €4m net in salary.

“If you look at the financial aspect, that's the right move, but in terms of career I'd choose Napoli every time, even putting the Champions League to one side.

“Napoli are an ambitious club, they're growing every year, always taking more important players. Everton don't seem like a great team.

“I don't know exactly what the situation is, in my opinion he wants to take his time because he's not yet convinced about what to do.

“He can either accept the English club or wait for an even bigger club."

€40m buy out clause. €40m bid from Zenit.

Link

“Napoli are an ambitious club, they're growing every year, always taking more important players. Everton don't seem like a great team.

“I don't know exactly what the situation is, in my opinion he wants to take his time because he's not yet convinced about what to do.

“He can either accept the English club or wait for an even bigger club."

He's a cheeky twat that Lukaku.

This "£100m transfer kitty" may even be a smokescreen. Maybe our pockets are deeper still. Either way, I'll leave it to the experts.

Maybe we're now so rich that we don't have to worry about that, but I think FFP and wage budgets still keep us at least slightly limited.

If you don't rate a player particularly highly and want Everton to spend the money elsewhere, then of course it's legitimate to worry that we are wasting our limited resources on something that won't benefit us in proportion to what it costs us.

Bily, McGeady and Niasse weren't/aren't crap players because they're from the Russian league, they're just not good enough.

Witsel has had a pretty good career and ended up in Russia because Zenit matched the mad fee.

To be honest, I'd be happy with a good, solid keeper, centre-mid and striker to give the team some spine, before we start looking at 'marquee' players, whatever that means.

It was actually said by Francesco Marseglia on Radio Crc.

Nonsense, makes no sense to make an assumption then worry on the strength of it.

Plus who are you to say for sure what 'too much' is?

And if there is a limit but you don't know what it is...etc.

'Maybe we're now so rich that we don't have to worry about that, but I think FFP and wage budgets still keep us at least slightly limited.'

Yeah maybe we are, plus everyone in the PL is 'slightly limited'.

'If you don't rate a player particularly highly and want Everton to spend the money elsewhere, then of course it's legitimate to worry that we are wasting our limited resources on something that won't benefit us in proportion to what it costs us.'

'Legitimate to worry' about stuff you're guessing - really?

And even if you did know, tell me what your worrying would change/achieve.

(clue: fuck-all)

By your own admission ('Maybe we're now so rich', 'working on the assumption that we have a limited amount of money..') you don't know what's going on, yet say it's legitimate to worry about it.

Disagree and I'm not going to risk irritable bowel-syndrome, headaches or anxiety because a feller with over a billion nicker might be overcharged a few bob for a player.

Your round!

First of all, the only thing I'm saying is that a fan is allowed to believe that a transfer costs too much money. I'm not trying to define how much is too much, I'm not trying to do much actually, but you and Scott both claimed that fans shouldn't worry about it, whereas I think I've pointed out why it might be reasonable. If we spend £30m on Witsel, or £16m on Pelle, then that's £30m, or £16m we no longer have to spend on whosoever that fan thinks we should've bought. If our money is genuinely unlimited, then sure, it doesn't matter, but our money isn't unlimited. That's almost definitely true. I'd have to fully understand FFP rules and their legality to be 100%. Just because I can't be 100% certain doesn't rule out its validity. It's very different to a 'guess'.

Also, it definitely is worth making an assumption then worrying about it if it's a strong assumption. If I'm on the edge of a cliff, I'll assume that gravity will continue to work if I jump off, and will worry about that happening. That'll make me not jump off. You seem to be advocating jumping, because you can't assume gravity will work, or those rocks down there really are sharp and hard.

Otherwise your post seems to just be telling us that the thought, time and energy we're all putting in thinking about Everton-related issues and chatting about them on ToffeeWeb is pointless, and I think we all know that deep down anyway. It doesn't really work as a debating point.

To use your analogy, it's that those fans are worried Farhad is getting his round in, but he's buying shandy made with Skol and paying London craft-ale-with-stupid-trendy-name prices for it, when he could be getting a round of something really nice and paying a reasonable price. If you're in his round, you want the nice drink, not the overpriced Skol shandy, and you might feel justified in saying so as he heads off to the bar.

Possibly the greatest 'I'm not throwing the towel in' paragraph I've ever read on TW.

I'm serious - superb! (you deffo win this one)

Mike if you want to worry the noggin right off your shoulders, by all means, fill you boots.

Up the Toffees!

Everton Football Club as 'Bloke Undecided About JumpIng Off A Building''

Mike Allison as 'Roger Murtaugh'

Farhad Moshiri as 'Martin Riggs'

Jim Dale (in a doctors coat): "Oh quite..but when you're not worried, does that..worry you? I mean not being worried. What I mean is if others aren't worrying, does it worry you that they're not worried because you think they should..worry?"

Just then, Barbara '5 abortions' Windsor passes wearing a short skirt and exposing a lot of her incredibly overrated, actually small, Spaniel's ears-type tits.

Both: "FWOOOAAAR!!"

Mike (loosening his tie) "Now that I could go for!"

Jim: "You reckon?"

Mike: "No worries!"

(Carry On TW by Talbot Rothwell)

Up the Blues!

Tony, where did you get that from?