Sheffield return, via useless in-built Sat Nav

Heading to The Wirral, I was navigated by the Sat Nav towards the A628, only to find it was closed. The Sat Nav is supposed to be aware of traffic and road closure issues but it declined to inform me (first world problems, eh!), instead routing me towards the next entrance to the A628, which was also closed.

Paul Traill 25/09/2019 9comments  |  Jump to last

Thankfully, I finished work at 3 pm and was straight onto the M56 towards Manchester. 1 hour 42 minutes it was supposed to take according to the in-built Sat Nav in the car. This was probably pretty accurate until I hit Manchester as the rain poured down. With the roads hazardous it was tough going, and then navigating through towards the M60, and then the M67 became farcically slow such was the traffic and the rainfall. With the journey taking an hour longer than usual, I really began to regret having that extra coffee at work before I left and I was just bursting to empty my bladder by the time I finally parked up.

I grabbed a quick chippy and then rested up for a while in The Railway, an excellent friendly pub which serves a nice drop. Dan, meanwhile, who was originally due to travel up with me but got called in to a conference in Telford instead, was travelling via train. He had high hopes of meeting us a bit earlier, but such was his delayed rattler, I had to catch up with him about 15 minutes from kick-off at The Riverside Cafe, another nice little spot just by the away end. Dan arrived all suited and booted, certainly the best-dressed guy in the away end, his chinos being my personal favourite part of his attire.

In we went, getting to our seats in the top balcony in plenty of time for kick-off. Five changes for Everton from the team that lost so disappointingly against Sheffield United at the weekend. Out went Michael Keane, Seamus Coleman, Morgan Scheiderlin, Gylfi Sigurdsson and Moise Kean, replaced by Mason Holgate, Djibril Sidibe, Tom Davies, Alex Iwobi and Dominic Calvert-Lewin. It's hard to tell if any of the players were dropped or rested or a bit of both, but I don't think anybody was disappointed to see changes to the team. Lucas Digne skippered the side. We attacked the opposite end in the first half.

Very early in the game Tom Davies was a bit lackadaisical and under-hit his pass back to Jordan Pickford. It was seized upon by Sam Winnall but Jordan Pickford was out quickly to thwart the Sheffield Wednesday attacker.

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As happens, Sheffield Wednesday lived to rue this miss only 4 minutes later when Dominic Calvert-Lewin finished sharply from an excellent ball in from Djibril Sidibe. Dominic, being an ex-Sheffield United player, of course, went with the ‘cupped ears' celebration.

Another 4 minutes later it was 2-0, Dominic Calvert-Lewin again on the scoresheet, this time finishing after Alex Iwobi and Bernard combined smartly down the left. He went with the knee slide this time.

Dominic could have added another with a somewhat easier headed opportunity but Cameron Dawson made a great save.

While Everton certainly enjoyed a good 20 minutes or so, Sheffield Wednesday were almost back in the game about midway through the half. It all began with Jordan Pickford and Yerry Mina pratting about with a goal kick, which resulted in Jordan panicking and wellying the ball into touch. From the resulting throw-in, Sheffield Wednesday forced a corner kick. From the resultant corner, Dominic Iorfa powerfully headed wide when he should have done better. Shortly afterwards, Adam Reach hit tamely at Jordan Pickford when he also might have done better. Nevertheless, we got to the break unscathed and you had to be satisfied with the half while we took the opportunity to sit down at the break.

The second half wasn't much of a spectacle. I didn't expect Everton to go hell for leather and, with a big game on Saturday, conserving our energy wasn't the worst thing, but our lack of movement and slow build-up into nothing in particular did concern me a bit. It's maddening watching this team because you can see they have got ability, but so often take the wrong option. Sheffield Wednesday did have another good opportunity from a set play late in the game, but they didn't capitalise. Otherwise, our two full-backs both came close to scoring, both flashing wide of either post.

We left with a few minutes to go for an early dart but, such was the comedy of our journey home, we needn't have bothered. Prior to kick off Dan had given his bag to a coach driver he knew so he could collect it after the game. Unfortunately, the coach had moved and it took us a little while to find it. The walk back to the car took a little longer than I thought but we were at the car by 10 pm and harboured hopes of getting home by midnight.

Heading to The Wirral, I was navigated by the Sat Nav towards the A628, only to find it was closed. The Sat Nav is supposed to be aware of traffic and road closure issues but it declined to inform me (first world problems, eh!), instead routing me towards the next entrance to the A628, which was also closed. We then navigated, led by Dan on his phone, through several pitch-black country roads, taking in Holmfirth amongst other places until finally arriving in Manchester through Ashton-under-Lyne.

I dropped Dan off at about 12:30 am, finally getting through my door at 12:40 am. Few if any will have arrived home later than us, and I was completely exhausted following a total of around five hours of driving… some going for a 150-mile round-trip. That all said it was quite a good laugh driving back, and we could only laugh at the stupidity of it all.

It's great to get through to the next round, and though we should know better by now, with a nice home draw against Watford; Tottenham Hotspurs already eliminated and Liverpool or Arsenal; and Chelsea or Manchester United also out, you have to be a little optimistic.

What is it that kills you? Ah, the hope!

Pickford: Made a very good, and very important, save early in the game but otherwise had little to do. Less of that faffing around at the back against Manchester City on Saturday please. 6

Digne: Did fine and though I was surprised to see Tom Davies relinquished of captain responsibilities, it's good reward for Lucas after an exceptional 14 months or so at Everton. 6

Holgate: Had a good game I thought. Perhaps more his level, we won't know unless he gets a run of games again but certainly did well last night. 7

Mina: I think that any fan who watches football regularly can generally tell a good player from a bad one when they see one. However, with Yerry, I really don't know what to make of him. He fritters from doing something excellent to hair-brained from minute to minute. I think he's far too casual, should dominate more with his height and isn't particularly quick, but then can suddenly snap into a good imposing defender. I'm not sure what I think of him, though I suppose I'm always a bit nervous with him in the team, which probably says enough about how I rate him. 6

Sidibe: Certainly the biggest positive of the night in my opinion and I hope he is rewarded with a start against the champions on Saturday. He gets forward well, seems athletic and put in a good ball for Dominic's first goal. That's enough for me, let's give him a run of games and let him show us what he can do. My Man of the Match. 7

Delph: Kept things solid in the middle and always keeps us ticking over. Will be looking forward to Saturday's game no doubt. 7

Davies: A poor start but he grew into the game and had quite a good second half. Missing a little bit of match sharpness possibly. Many times he got on the ball and looked up to pass it forward, though alas had no runners so had to go back. 6

Bernard: Nice work for our second goal but otherwise frustrated, often taking a touch to many or picking the wrong pass. 6

Richarlison: Generally sulked around for about an hour before being substituted and then walked off shaking his head. Not a great contribution. 5

Iwobi: Didn't convince in the No 10 role. He did finally get going later in the game but wasn't at his best. 6

Calvert-Lewin: He should definitely stay in the team as he's our best bet for a goal at the moment, though despite scoring twice, I did get frustrated with a few facets of his game and felt he could have done a bit better. He certainly should have scored one more goal at least. 6

Walcott (for Richarlison): Got involved. 6

Sigurdsson (for Bernard): Got involved. 6

Schneiderlin (for Delph): I left just as he was getting ready to come on so can't judge.

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Reader Comments (9)

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Dave Abrahams
1 Posted 26/09/2019 at 09:23:38
Paul, it sounds like your journey to and from the match was much better than the game itself, ten out of ten for your efforts.

We got through, which is the main object in any cup game and hopefully we can continue to the terminus of this cup and win it.

I hope Dominic and Sidibé continue their good performances versus Wednesday with a repeat against City on Saturday.

Thanks for a good report on the cup game.

Dave Williams
2 Posted 26/09/2019 at 10:15:13
Great report as usual, Paul, but what a nightmare journey! SatNavs drive me mad, with so many country roads down my way I can be chugging along and the SatNav chimes in with “Turn off road where possible” and there isn't a turning for miles!! What the fuck is that about??

At least we won and you got home safely. Keep smiling!!

Brent Stephens
3 Posted 26/09/2019 at 11:07:26
Dave, I was going to go back over Woodhead but that was closed so I ended up going up towards Huddersfield and then M62 - bugger me a section of that was then closed with a long, slow detour.

Still, a riveting game at Hillsborough! Well, for 20 mins or so. A dark, dour stadium. Glad to see Davies get a run. And glad to see Walcott didn't get a run (what do you mean, he did?).

Graham Lloyd
4 Posted 26/09/2019 at 11:39:34
A report that brings a smile to my face which is a rare occurrence recently! Well done for

a) making the journey
b) taking the time to write a great summary
c) getting home in one piece!

Steve Ferns
5 Posted 26/09/2019 at 12:46:10
The journey sounds more fun than the match!
Rob Halligan
6 Posted 26/09/2019 at 13:54:33
Brent, I don't think the steward in front of me was very impressed when I said to him about 15 minutes in, "when are you going to turn the floodlights on"? It was, as you say, a dark and dour stadium.
Derek Knox
7 Posted 26/09/2019 at 22:58:16
Yes, those Sat Navs can be a mixture between a life-saver when you are totally lost, and a nightmare when they take you to a dead-end or a road closed. They are renowned for taking the longest route, but always get you there in the end.

The thing is you never know if it's the limitations of the device or the Authorities not transmitting the updates on road closures.

Jerome Shields
8 Posted 26/09/2019 at 23:31:56
I have mixed feeling about SatNavs though I like the way the women talks to me, not like my wife who asks if I know where I am going and comments on my driving.

Interesting player analysis, particularly Mina and the centre-of-the-field players. I think Holgate could be better than him, better at distributing the ball. Sidibe is an experienced high-level player, as is Delph. Davies appears to have done well. Faster movement of the ball realised players quicker. Calvert-Lewin is the best forward we have got; Richarlison was disappointing.

Rick Tarleton
9 Posted 27/09/2019 at 08:49:16
An excellent result, as I spent yesterday at Pontefract Races with a Wednesday supporter. Good to see CDL get his goals, I'm not sure he can really be a back-to-goal man, but it was encouraging.

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