Bring me the head of Rio Ferdinand

Mike Kehoe 05/12/2018 12comments  |  Jump to last

As a seasoned Blue with many years of finely tuned industrial strength cynicism I can honestly say Sunday left me strangely unmoved. Disappointed for sure as to the manner of defeat, but it has become so Everton to inflict this type of wound upon ourselves that when confronted with Klopp’s playful exuberance and Carragher’s dignified eloquence, my initial response was pretty much to shrug my shoulders and think how typically Everton this all was. I switched the TV off at that point tried my best not to be an insufferable miserable bastard, which wasn’t that difficult as there was much in the game to admire.

Everyone knows of how unkind history has been to Everton, how so often the club’s progress has been curtailed by events beyond our influence: before Heysel, it was WW2 and those pesky Nazis that ended our domestic dominance; how their 24 years of dominance between 1966 and 1990 has an eerily Faustian element.

In recent years, Everton has been managed by a succession of inadequates, men of seemingly descending limited abilities following the necessary dour pragmatism of Moyes: Martinez a Keeganesque chancer who inherited a solid defence; Koeman a man whose towering arrogance and ignorance was reflected by the dreadful, disorganised and pathetic football his expensively assembled teams excreted; as for Allardyce, he is a hideous stain on our collective souls that must serve as an eternal warning - that man has got to be this club’s nadir.


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I have faith in Silva and have been impressed with him for as long as I have been aware of him; so since he took over at Hull. Apart from Pickford’s aberration, we more than matched them and with a quality striker may well have won comfortably. Consider that when comparing this team to last when we offered nothing other than resolute defending and an iffy penalty.

I feel we are very much heading in the right direction and in a much shorter time frame than I ever imagined possible. Along with every other Blue I felt certain that mere competence and the presence of tactical nous would be a vast improvement on the fools and charlatans that have managed to beguile and entrance so hopelessly naive a board as ours.

In all the years of following Everton, the one thing that angered me most and caused the deepest dismay was listening to the post-match analysis of the intellectual Titan that is Rio Ferdinand. It was an Allardyce team that had been pretty comprehensively dismantled, I think it may have been against Man City in March. Rio was cross and baffled that the Evertonians were less than delighted with the display and demanded “What do they want?” clearly outraged, feeling that being in the top half should be enough for us to accept.

Now I feel some consolation as I’m sure that ‘baffled’ is not an alien emotion to Rio, as almost every time he opens his mouth he confirms he an absolute fuckwit by casually dropping verbal turds hither and yon; usually accompanied by the precise clipped diction of McMannaman or the enthralling roller coaster of insight that is Michael Owen. But this for me was both shockingly offensive and horribly indicative of where the club is — or was.

Far from being considered anything like a force in the game, we had become an irrelevance, an absolute also-ran who should quietly and gratefully accept aspiring towards mediocrity as the very ceiling of our ambitions. Fuck the history of the club, Rio was telling us straight that we should feel forever in Allardyce’s debt, that £6 million is a small price to pay for the privilege of another year of survival with the big boys: that we should get a fucking grip.

Well, fuck that. What we want is to finally be able to challenge the Sky 6 and force our way back to the top table, to feel pride in the team and for them to deserve the love and unfaltering loyalty they receive from the long suffering fans. As an eternal ray of sunshine, I always expect some ridiculous refereeing decisions to deprive us against them, or some disgusting bit of kidology to steal the points away. Sunday hurt, but not like it usually does. In one transfer window, the new management team has transformed the style and substance of a team that had stooped so low as to turn to Allardyce for salvation. The progress since is nothing short of remarkable.

Seeing Klopp lose his mind like that is a milestone, a disgraceful spectacle for sure, but an illustration of our progress and their absence of class: can you imagine how those lovable reds would react if Guardiola or Mourinho got up to such antics against them? I feel confident this team will continue to develop and manage to exceed the lowly expectations of Rio Ferdinand et al, that the future will bring our own success rather than relying on City for consolation and damage limitation.

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Reader Comments (12)

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Brian Williams
1 Posted 05/12/2018 at 15:30:42
Mike. Like it or not we've been mostly an irrelevance since the mid 80s. When we were BIG, he was between 7 and 10 years old.

It's going to take a number of trophies and/or Premier League titles before we're looked upon as being one of the BIG teams again. Sad but true, I'm afraid.

Jamie Crowley
2 Posted 05/12/2018 at 15:47:29
Excellent article Mike.

I agree, and I hear it all the time over here on TalkSport on satellite radio, 606 podcasts, various other radio shows and call-ins, etc.

"What do they expect?"

Really? Really? What do you mean, "What do they expect?" To challenge your little elite group, you fuckwits! It drives me mad, and I'm not near as exposed to it as you are.

The television over here is much, much more balanced and very good on NBC. If I had to suffer through the crap you do on television, it'd drive me nuts.

We're going to bust their preconceived, hierarchical notions very, very soon.

John G Davies
3 Posted 05/12/2018 at 15:52:05
Can Liverpool be considered a big club?

They've won three knockout competitions in the last 18 years and have never won the league they play in — despite trying to for 27 years.

Stan Schofield
4 Posted 05/12/2018 at 17:37:41
Mike, spot on.

I will apologise in advance, for being an old git going on about how great our history is, about how great Young, Ball, Harvey, Reid, et al were. But it creates my perception, my very idea, of Everton.

Two years ago, a 16-year-old red was cheeky enough to tell me I'd chosen the wrong team to support. I asked him when he had become a red, and he said it when he was about 8. I then asked him how many trophies he's celebrated, and all he came up with was the League Cup, which is a few years ago now.

I then told him that I didn't choose Everton, that my dad took me to the match when I was 7, that I was hooked, that Everton chose me, that by the time I was 16, I'd celebrated 3 major trophies, that up to now I've celebrated 8, that when I was his age Everton were the coolest team on the block, the wealthiest, the team that played the best football, the team that signed the 66 World Cup Final MotM, that we were the best team in Europe in the 80s, and that for me, the last couple of decades is an aberration from normality that does not represent the Everton that I know, that does not reflect MY expectations, which are for Everton to be at the very top of the pile.

The cheeky red didn't really have an answer to all that.

Well, I'm very happy with what I see at the moment. What I see reflects the real Everton, MY Everton, and fuck what any red or any 'pundit' says. We're on our way back to the top, and it's going to frighten the shit out of a lot of them fuckers.

Peter Warren
5 Posted 05/12/2018 at 17:46:33
Brilliant, Stan. I was made up how we played Sunday and absolutely gutted with the ending. For younger blues not as old as you it has been tough. I feel especially sorry for my boys – 9, 8 and 3 – not one of them has even seen us beat the Red Shite.

I hope we're on our way back. I've seen a few posts claiming we are, but I never experienced our rise in early 80s people talking about the Milk Cup final and then us getting fa cup in 84 and knowing we were on our way back. I sincerely hope so, although I feel we lack goals.

I've got to agree with Mike's article about how quickly Silva has transformed us however; I'm actually looking forward to our matches now and I can see positives even when we don't play well.

Michael Coffey
6 Posted 05/12/2018 at 18:03:18
Well written, Mike.

I have to say after the initial shock, fury and dismay of that goal on Sunday had subsided, what came to mind was that Japanese admiral at the end of "Tora, Tora, Tora" who, as all around him celebrated wildly, grimly muttered:

"I fear all we have done is awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve."

Dave Ganley
7 Posted 05/12/2018 at 18:24:54
Stan #4,

Excellent post, mate.

To be honest I've come to ignore all that bollocks that the pundits say. Last season they all seemed to jump on the "What do they expect" bandwagon when it became quite obvious that the more they twittered on they hadn't really seen us play apart from highlights. They just talk without actually putting any kind of brain I'm gear, typified by the idiot Merson.

Just ignore them, our time is coming and that will be revenge enough for me.

Tony Abrahams
8 Posted 05/12/2018 at 18:56:44
The Awakening of the sleeping giant, is what we all want Michael, but it’s never going to happen without real belief.

Silva, is talking about the bonding of both the fans and the players getting stronger, and once this truly happens, then the next stage of our development will become easier, and the fact that he acknowledges how important this is, then it fills me with real confidence that we have hopefully found the right man to take us forward at long last?

Phil (Kelsall) Roberts
9 Posted 05/12/2018 at 18:57:11
Presume Rio thinks Spurs are a big club.

A club so big they have not won the league in my memory and I am 64 (I was 6½ when they last won it). Who last won the FA Cup a few years before we last won it. Who last won the European Cup Winners Cup over 20 years before our last win in the competition.

Big Clubs are decided by the media - not by reality.

As we all say, Those who understand need no explanation. Those that don't understand don't matter

Steve Mink
10 Posted 05/12/2018 at 19:52:18
I tend to think that if you engage in all of this discussion regarding Sky 6, etc then you are conspiring in the legitimacy of the concept.

Football's changed. People like Ferdinand will be paid to spout this nonsense. The game most of us were brought up with is slowly dying. The European superleague will finally kill it.

George Stuart
11 Posted 11/12/2018 at 23:27:43
I've been falling out of love with football for a while now.

There are lots of reasons but mostly it all boils down to one thing: money. Money and the bias that overwhelming amounts of money brings. Sky and its parent company, News Corp, are a significant part of that whole milieu.

But in English football the single biggest deciding factor affecting the game is the obscene amounts of money Man City and Chelsea can bring to bear. Mostly the differential in money that they can bring to bear over even Man Utd, Arsenal and the Shite.

There is no way that any of the other clubs can compete. (Unless they do a deal with the devil, cf. the Shite.) I came to this realisation in the season before Leicester won the Premier League, thank you soccer gods.

So, back to Rio. For the time being, Sky will favour Man Utd. As soon as it become expedient, the word will come down from Murdock to drop them. In the meantime, why are the Man Utd supporters upset with their lot? One jammy goal against, and a truly mystifyingly bad game against Watford and Everton would be above Man Utd. What more can they expect? They should take their mediocrity and over-the-top manager and accept their lot.

It's been 5 years since they won the Premier League. They should accept major honours are in the past and just hope to win a worthless cup every now and again.

Peter Gorman
12 Posted 12/12/2018 at 00:09:51
In defence of Rio, a god awful pundit, he was pretty much the only figure in the media who called out the questionable investigation into Mason Holgate's childhood comments in the wake of the alleged racial abuse our boy received from that RS.

I thought he got that message right, if nothing else.

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