Everton return home amid overblown reports of team incident

Source: MailOnline.

Seems like they all need time away from football. But whatever happened, it's embarrassing.

I have always thought that Everton for 30 years had an unfair share of incompetents amongst its management who were unfit for the job they should have been doing and, because of position got involved in team recruitment and management, with inevitable disastrous results.

As I understand it, Dyche asked Pickford to pass him the sprouts and, for some reason, he kicked them out of the restaurant, so Dyche asked Harrison to pass them over but Harrison didn't understand what 'pass' meant.

Finally, Patterson, being a bright and under-appreciated member of the team tried to help and Dyche gave him a slap for getting up before the full 90 minutes had finished.

In the end, Tarkowski calmed it down as Pickford tried to pick a fight with a couple of innocent by-standers and then started randomly screaming at anyone nearby.

Apparently, it didn't end there, an onlooker said a very tall and handsome black chap appeared that no one had really noticed before, and proceeded to walk around the restaurant applauding the puzzled onlookers.

Dyche was heard to say afterwards that it's down to the players to eat their veg as there is only so much he can do.

The Mail got it wrong as it was a woke illegal asylum seeker who insulted HM Charles III at which point RSM Dyche leapt to attention and promptly disciplined the cad.

The Mail – lying for a century.

Perhaps the BBC, although I can't stand that Breakfast programme.

The Mail is like being lectured to by your least favourite Aunty.

The Express, which my Labour supporting Grandad read every day seems to have switched sides.

I don't mind both the Telegraph and the Guardian even though though they are polar opposites, they are both

I prefer open research these days.

Anyone know what sort of restaurant or was it just a curry after a few lagers and a couple of forwarded selfies? Bloody idiot.

On the right side, I prefer the Times to the Telegraph.

A restaurant in The Algarve would have been quite busy and full of tourists, so surely someone would have seen it and taken photos on their phone to spread around the usual social media outlets.

As I say, “What a crock of shit”.

All the way to the Algarve for a bit of scran! Howard took all the lads for a Chinese and a hundred pints each to Chinatown.
No foreign muck!

Jump the bus, into town, good British grub and bevvy and Cups followed. Simple.

How prophetic them words were… no wonder our club is in such a fucking mess – manager slapping a player, allegedly.

Nothing to see here move on. Page filler.

I want to know who grassed?

The media, who are a necessary pain in the backside, will report any minor happening nowadays.

I think all the players could do with a slap.

Enough said, I wouldn't even take it with a pinch of salt.

Fella hates Everton and can't go an article without mentioning another points deduction.

Joe Thomas of the Echo…

“Understand incident involving Sean Dyche + Nathan Patterson in Portugal was a misunderstanding that was swiftly resolved. Training the next day backs that up. Issue has not undermined overall view, internally, that trip was positive.”

Maybe Nathan was humiliated by his boss. Sure they'll get over it.

Shame, as he obviously has talent – but probably needs to prove himself at a lower level. And in fairness, he may have made more of an impact in a better-functioning team.

I suspect that a new right-back will be on the shopping list for the (very extensive) summer rebuild.

Laugh at loud funny. (Sadly!)

Robert #27.

Extensive rebuild? More like an extensive trip round the bargain basement shops looking for cheap replacements for the ones who will leave.

But then many of our best players over the years have been sourced in this way. It's been the higher-cost signings that have landed us in the shit, because we can only afford very average or deteriorating higher-cost players.

So no need to be too downbeat about bringing in more along the lines of Howard, Coleman, Tarkowski, Stones, Branthwaite, Pienaar, Barry, Arteta, Deulofeu, Donovan, Calvert-Lewin and Lukaku to the football club.

There will be a lot of good-quality players available in these categories this summer. Which is a good job because, if the 777 takeover goes ahead, I expect we'll sign up to around 11 new players for the first team squad (and more for the academy).

Patterson may be miffed at not getting much playing time under Dyche but the incident may have had nothing to do with that.

Hopefully they will all be fully focused by the time the Bournemouth game comes around.

Imagine that...

Bear in mind that this was an article by Matt Hughes, whose wife I have to assume has been in bed with every Everton player, judging by the extent to which he constantly fucking lies about us.

Unfortunately for Patterson, the third is Dyche. If Patterson is not frustrated, then it would be miraculous.

Obvious frustrations amongst our players being vented sounds like a problem, if true!!

Even the Premier League couldn't deduct points for this? Or could they?

[Only joking.]

We know it is shite but it is hugely influential shite.

So you actually believe that we will bring in players of the calibre of Howard, Coleman, Tarkowski, Stones, Branthwaite, Pienaar, Barry, Arteta, Deulofeu, Donovan, Calvert-Lewin and Lukaku to the football club?

You actually believe that we will be in the Premier League next season?

You actually believe that 777 Partners will be allowed to take us over?

You actually believe that we won't have more points taken off us?

And you actually believe that we won't go into administration?

Tell me, what colour are the clouds where you live, and are the Cuckoos the same as on normal planets? Because you are definitely in cloud Cuckoo land with a big clock.

If we are still in the Premier League next season, and still a going concern, with no transfer ban and money to spend, I'll be over the Moon.

"Sorry, Patters, didn't mean to crack you – don't know my own strength sometimes." Fair enough, nothing to see or say.

If he apologised because of player pressure, that's an entirely different cake mix.

Not heard "that's all bollocks" from the protagonists – suggesting credibility to the cake mix version. A few bad results and "lost the dressing room" will soon get an airing.

Yes, we really are in deep shit, and we have to face reality sometimes. I am scared shitless that we are on the brink, and no hero is coming to save us this time. So now and again, I get a bit annoyed with all this over-the-top positivity and people ignoring what's going on.

If we had all taken up arms against Kenwright years ago instead of false positives, we may not have been in this state now.

Forgive me for being negative, after all, I'm an Everton supporter.

We all know we're in deep shit. Thing is, some of us don't see the need to wallow in it. It all gets a bit woe, woe and thrice woe.

I was going to approach his table and wish him luck but I suddenly thought if the 2 guys he was with were his agents and would not be appreciative of a blue approaching, if they were proposing to press the ejector seat out the club? Instead, maybe it was a recce.

Nice restaurant but eye-wateringly expensive, unless you stuck with the cheaper items as I did. Wonder if the budget stretched to Wagyu steaks at several hundred euros a go…?

However, if a number of players did jump up as suggested in response to the "clip", then that suggests there is some unease, tension, disquiet towards Dyche amongst at least some of the squad.

That conclusion depends upon the accuracy of the report of events but adults or colleagues don't respond and react in that manner unless there is something simmering under the surface.

Who truly knows?

I am sick to death of the nonesense they publish. I seem too remember they were the ones promoting a 12-point deduction.

Patterson is Scottish isn't he? He was probably thinking Dyche was flirting with him, that's where the real offence was taken.

As P G Wodehouse once wrote, “It is never difficult to tell the difference between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.”

Our club has been put under siege by the Premier League – we are fighting for survival. The last thing we need is internal strife between the manager and playing squad.

Don't worry. I enjoy Paul's posts. ToffeeWeb is much the richer for a few wild outbursts.

Keep up the good work, Paul K.

Robert #27, yeah, and it's been an ongoing mystery for me. Patterson has great pace, he's sharp in the tackle, and gets forward with greater menace than our other right-backs. And I struggle to recall any major defensive mistakes.

Yet he ranks today behind not only Coleman but Young and Godfrey. Something's obviously missing, but I don't know what it is.

I agree it's a mystery.

As for slap-gate it doesn't sound like it was much. It also doesn't sound like it was nothing. What's a grown man doing slapping anyone on the back of the head?

I just think Dyche is a bit of a weirdo.

I think what Robert is hoping is that we work some magic and bring in a Seamus, a Paul Power veteran type who might have a short shelf life but can do a job.

It's not easy but if you think back to our erstwhile manager, Allardyce, when he was at Bolton, he did a great job of combining journeymen and faded greats on a budget to produce a decent team.

"Seems like they all need time away from football. But whatever happened, it's embarrassing."

I thought they already had that before the Portuguese Trip, judging by the performances. Maybe a good slapping will bring them all back to reality, and the well paid job in hand. :-)

Mike G, I think Patterson had a difficult few games at the start of the season in terms of defensive positioning, tracking runners and concentration. But, having watched 3 games with Godfrey at right back, he cannot be anything other than an improvement.

Beagrie riding a motorcycle through a hotel patio window, topped only by Colin Harvey taking the squad for a Chinese in Southport, leaving early and telling the lads to bond over a few bevvies, only for Keown to kick Sheedy's head in after he called him a donkey

Everton that.

If there is no story, he invents one.

I think we should keep front of mind that Matt Hughes is full to shit.

If there is no story, he invents one.

Following Dyche's slap, the young Scot stormed away from their exclusive beachside restaurant. The Everton manager was heard shouting "Baby come back", alluding to the benched fullback's childish behaviour. Dyche later confirmed to stunned onlookers that it was meerly "Patto Banter".

Never truer words said.

It would not surprise me, then, that he may have passed some kind of comment or joke about Dyche, ending up being slapped for it in fun.

Who cares anyway — slap everyone of the fuckers, Sean!

I am convinced most of these so-called journalists must not have played the game. On the pitch, off the pitch, on the training ground, there is always conflict, especially when it's not going well.

After a particularly by our standards, poor performance and result, all hell broke loose in the changing room, including a fight. We then all went for the post-match meal and a glass of lime and soda!! All friends again!

I don't know what's gone on but I doubt it's as serious as being made out. Time will tell.

I standby for ridicule, but surely the club will make a statement alongside the player?

I like to think of it from Patterson's viewpoint. He's behind Benn "Forest Gump" Godfrey, a not-so-young Young and a crocked Seamus. That's not a good read. If he wasn't pissed-off beforehand then he should have been. I wish Dyche would knock the block off Godfrey because he's a dozey sod.

Patterson should be knocking on Dyche's door now demanding to be played or else let him move on. This whole story might be a page filler for the daily rags but Dyche needs to behave like a manager and develop the player – not slap him around the ears.

One strike one hit.

I am sure if you visit any training ground any day of the week, you would see squabbles between players, and players and manager and coaches, but most of these things are never reported on. Having said that, at this moment in time, you don't want anything that makes it look like there is disharmony in the group.

I see some are suggesting Patterson is our best right back, while he may be on a par with Godfrey and Young Everton's best right back is still Coleman. Maybe the question we as fans should be asking is why has our best right back been on the bench for the last 2 games???

All the squad were all settled, ready to eat… someone noticed Doucoure was missing.

He was seen, cooking, being a waiter, doing the dishes, mopping the floor at the same time. Calvert-Lewin was annoyed. Dyche said, "That's my Douke."

Fuck them all, we don't need them.

Then they will move on to the new stadium and administration. But the only way to get a shift in perspective is to win games and move up the table to comfortable safety.
This is where we fail time and time again except for 4 games before Christmas.

To be honest I'm not confident that we will get anything at Bournemouth, we may be a better side this time around but a lot of football is played out in the heads of the players, and so far they cannot cope with the expectation.

It's a big test and Bournemouth will fancy their chances after last years ‘effort'.

Nothing ever goes right.

Will it ever change?

Young must have some photos he's blackmailing Dyche with…

Not sure how slapping someone without their consent could ever be overblown the way people are making it out to be.

By the same line of thinking, wouldn't Spain's football president non-consensually kissing a female player be something to be ignored and swept under the carpet, silencing the media and all those annoying people calling for his resignation?

I imagine this will stop the embarrassment of them also making an appeal.

Not sure how slapping someone without their consent could ever be overblown the way people are making it out to be.”

Michael, you appear to have accidentally stumbled onto a football website. Perhaps you were browsing the internet for some confectionery?

Football. You know... a contact sport where professional players consistently use their physicality against the opposition. Where they don't sue people despite the weaponising of parts of the body.

My purely objective stance on the Rubiales / Hermoso matter is that she showed absolutely no negative reaction to him as he was doing his over-excited little boy routine. At some point, she came to a decision to present it as something far more offensive than she seemed to find it live.

Is it entirely improbable that, in a squad potentially simmering with lots of petty rivalries and prejudices, the golden girl wasn't made to feel awkward about the over-the-top attention she had just received from the ‘boss' and rushed to make it clear it wasn't something she had sought out?

In today's world, you often have to judge the way the prevailing wind is blowing very quickly and many people will jump to ‘get in line'. Once you've publically voiced your ‘concern' over potentially ‘toxic' behaviour, you will find it extremely difficult to backtrack to the sanity of ‘it was something and nothing'.

I know there are bad people and bad things happen, but I honestly think there will be plenty of major accusations that start off with someone telling a ‘little white lie' to distance themselves from a source of embarrassment.